changeforlife
New member
lol
I was thinking the same thing.The Road to Change...
- Thread starter changeforlife
- Start date
lol
I was thinking the same thing.
heathercb04
New member
huuuuuge congrats to you!!!!! 10lbs is huge! that is so superbly awesome, you are doing a great job! i'm sure that you look different after 10lbs! plus with working out, you probably exude more energy and positive attitude.
congratulations! you're awesome
congratulations!
you're awesomechangeforlife
New member
Thanks Heather and Kdel. It means a lot that you drop by.
So, Just came back from Curves and boy was I sluggish. I'm just so tired, I woke up earlier than I usually do, and worked to my tape. My back is hurting, etc. etc.
My cousins came by today. One of them asked me "So, why are you working out? Don't you know fat is IN?" I replied, "Well, I don't want to be THIS fat."
This is weird considering that about a half hour earlier she asked me if Curves worked, because she considering joining with her daughter. Now what is THAT about? She should just admit that she wants to be thin too.
My goal weight is 150, and I'm 5'6. If I get down to that weight I think I will still be sort of thick, I still want to be thick, I don't want to be pencil thin or anything. These little comments sort of make me mad. As good as they are, and as much as I want to be pleased with being fat, I'm not.
I feel like everything that is in my life could be greatly improved if I were thinner. It would give me self confidence that I don't dare have now. I know that I'm a fun, energetic person, my closest friends see this most, but I don't bring it out fully because I'm scared, and its because of my weight. It's also because of other childhood issues, that I still need to work on. But as the weight comes off, my resolve will kick in and correct the issues.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Just kinda needed to vent about it.
It means a lot that you drop by.So, Just came back from Curves and boy was I sluggish. I'm just so tired, I woke up earlier than I usually do, and worked to my tape. My back is hurting, etc. etc.
My cousins came by today. One of them asked me "So, why are you working out? Don't you know fat is IN?" I replied, "Well, I don't want to be THIS fat."
This is weird considering that about a half hour earlier she asked me if Curves worked, because she considering joining with her daughter. Now what is THAT about? She should just admit that she wants to be thin too.
My goal weight is 150, and I'm 5'6. If I get down to that weight I think I will still be sort of thick, I still want to be thick, I don't want to be pencil thin or anything. These little comments sort of make me mad. As good as they are, and as much as I want to be pleased with being fat, I'm not.
I feel like everything that is in my life could be greatly improved if I were thinner. It would give me self confidence that I don't dare have now. I know that I'm a fun, energetic person, my closest friends see this most, but I don't bring it out fully because I'm scared, and its because of my weight. It's also because of other childhood issues, that I still need to work on. But as the weight comes off, my resolve will kick in and correct the issues.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Just kinda needed to vent about it.
pequin
New member
There's nothing wrong with venting, hope it helped. I think the same things sometimes. But I have to remind myself that life is short & those things are taking time away from me being happy. It may seem like being thinner will make all the problems go away but they'll still be there.
I can't tell you what you should do, but for me, I work on all of it as I go. I'm trying break the other behavior habits while trying to break the old eating habits. I tend to be very introverted. But I remind myself: If I can open up such a personal things as my weight & self confidence issues with all of you - then why can't I smile and tell the checkout guy thank you & have a great day.
And 175-200 is my final goal. Yes I will still be 'fat', I don't mind. I kind think big is sexy.
Small steps girly. *hugs*
I can't tell you what you should do, but for me, I work on all of it as I go. I'm trying break the other behavior habits while trying to break the old eating habits. I tend to be very introverted. But I remind myself: If I can open up such a personal things as my weight & self confidence issues with all of you - then why can't I smile and tell the checkout guy thank you & have a great day.
And 175-200 is my final goal. Yes I will still be 'fat', I don't mind. I kind think big is sexy.
Small steps girly. *hugs*
Ohappydaye
New member
Just stopping by to say hi, I'm so tired I can barely wave...and yet I muster up the strength. *OHD waves*
changeforlife
New member
You're great pequin, thanks for the advice. And I agree a lot with you. And yes, big is sexy. I know that I have to work on my issues and I know thin will not solve it as I did lose a bunch of weight once and got a lot of attention, and I still had my issues hanging over me, and thus I ate myself back to fatdom. Part of me wants to be fat. It's so weird. It's definitely a battle against the mind.
Hey OHD - Hope you're resting and taking it easy. Have a good night.
Ok, Kinda bad day today. It felt like a gray cloud was looming over me today. Didn't exercise. I will use this as my off day instead of Sunday. I didn't get enough sleep. It's that time of the month for me so my hormones are going nuts and I'm emotional and crabby. And I ate TWO Arby's Melts. UGHH. It IS okay, I'm still in caloric range, but damn, TWO? One is usually enough for me. I felt so hungry. I got SO full afterwards. See, I told myself that I would buy two, and save the other one for lunch tomorrow. Uh, I guess not. For some reason, even though I'm still in caloric range, I feel guilty about it. I gobbled them down really really fast, maybe that's why.
Some good things- I talked to a friend of mine, having some of the same issues that I'm having. (not weight, but with self-esteem, confidence, etc) And he has inspired me to want to do better, to take some sort of leap
It's REALLY hard for me to do, but as Pequin said, small steps.
Anyhoo. Gonna surf around here for a bit, then I'm going to sleep and start a fresh day.
I know that I have to work on my issues and I know thin will not solve it as I did lose a bunch of weight once and got a lot of attention, and I still had my issues hanging over me, and thus I ate myself back to fatdom. Part of me wants to be fat. It's so weird. It's definitely a battle against the mind. Hey OHD - Hope you're resting and taking it easy.
Have a good night.Ok, Kinda bad day today. It felt like a gray cloud was looming over me today. Didn't exercise. I will use this as my off day instead of Sunday. I didn't get enough sleep. It's that time of the month for me so my hormones are going nuts and I'm emotional and crabby. And I ate TWO Arby's Melts. UGHH. It IS okay, I'm still in caloric range, but damn, TWO? One is usually enough for me. I felt so hungry. I got SO full afterwards. See, I told myself that I would buy two, and save the other one for lunch tomorrow. Uh, I guess not. For some reason, even though I'm still in caloric range, I feel guilty about it. I gobbled them down really really fast, maybe that's why.
Some good things- I talked to a friend of mine, having some of the same issues that I'm having. (not weight, but with self-esteem, confidence, etc) And he has inspired me to want to do better, to take some sort of leap
It's REALLY hard for me to do, but as Pequin said, small steps.
Anyhoo. Gonna surf around here for a bit, then I'm going to sleep and start a fresh day.
twolilangels
New member
Yes it is...from little things, like...switching to fake sugar...diet pop...lower calorie bread...and so the list goes on...
Anyway I am Cerella and I thought I would stop in and say hi...Oh and I wanted to share my gross bacon story with you...ok so I had a lb of bacon the other day that i made for dinner with perogies...my oldest didnt come home for dinner nad I dont really allow my youngest to eat it, maybe a piece or two if she asks...so I ate the whole damn lb myself, well maybe left 2 or 3 pieces for ny oldest...it is all about knowing yourself and your limits...I can never cook a lb of bacon again if it is just me and Taneesha at home eatinng...LOL...and next time I eat out wiht someone I am jsut gonna share some of their fries, LOL...Oh and i am at the crappy time of month trying badly to control myself...LOL...but I eat popcorn when I need a really good treat I eat Smart Pop popcorn...with real butter...ssshhh...it is a lot better than other things...take care of yourself...
Ohappydaye
New member
TOM makes being a woman a really SUCKY time TLA!
Hey C4L! *OHD waves*
Edit: Found a typo...oops.
Hey C4L! *OHD waves*
Edit: Found a typo...oops.
Last edited:
changeforlife
New member
Pequin - Awesome fortune cookie!! Hehe.
Hi Cerella - I'm glad you understand how it is, its definitely a little more relaxing knowing I'm not the only one going through these things, that I am in fact human. I can definitely relate to the bacon thing too. Though, not bacon for me, but anything sweet I can just inhale it through my mouth. Popcorn is a good choice. I've been eating that myself lately when I crave something. Thanks for dropping in.
OHD - You sound like me with those type things, I want things to look perfect. lol. Anyway, *waves* Hi too.
Hey Kdel - Thanks for the constant support. I appreciate it a lot.
Hi Cerella - I'm glad you understand how it is, its definitely a little more relaxing knowing I'm not the only one going through these things, that I am in fact human.
I can definitely relate to the bacon thing too. Though, not bacon for me, but anything sweet I can just inhale it through my mouth. Popcorn is a good choice. I've been eating that myself lately when I crave something. Thanks for dropping in.OHD - You sound like me with those type things, I want things to look perfect. lol. Anyway, *waves* Hi too.
Hey Kdel - Thanks for the constant support. I appreciate it a lot.
Cannon 2006
New member
Hey Change, thanks so much for stopping by my diary. We all have issues we need to work on. Losing the weight will help with some of the other issues and working on the other issues will help with the weight. The main thing is tiny steps and enjoy the journey along the way. It's just like your name says--its not about losing weight its about changing for life.
changeforlife
New member
Thanks guys for stopping in. *hugs* appreciate it.
changeforlife
New member
I had an impulse to look up an old best friend from High School that I've known since elementary school, found her on myspace. I was very sorry and so shocked to find out that she passed away in August. We had a falling out in High School, and I haven't talked to her since then, about 6-7 years ago. We just drifted apart as friends, though there was never really any closure. She was a HUGE part of my memories as we did a lot of things together.
I feel very sad, I just don't know what to do. I'm going to contact her family as soon as I have the words to offer my condolences - I have no idea what to say, but I need to say something. My head is racing and its tired right now.
I'm thinking a lot of the way I am right now. Part of me always thinks there will be time to straighen things out between people, and there are a lot of things that I need to straighen out with people- family, friends. We get so silly with our lives that we forget what REALLY matters, and let me say that weight loss, unless its extremely severe, should be the least of our worries.
I feel very sad, I just don't know what to do. I'm going to contact her family as soon as I have the words to offer my condolences - I have no idea what to say, but I need to say something. My head is racing and its tired right now.
I'm thinking a lot of the way I am right now. Part of me always thinks there will be time to straighen things out between people, and there are a lot of things that I need to straighen out with people- family, friends. We get so silly with our lives that we forget what REALLY matters, and let me say that weight loss, unless its extremely severe, should be the least of our worries.
changeforlife
New member
I'm gonna crash, I'll reply to diaries tomorrow. Good night everyone.
twolilangels
New member
Im very sorry to hear that *HUGS*...Yes we all get into our mundane robot routine lives...especially once we enter the work force and especially once we have our own fmailies...Ive been a single mom since I was 16 and all I have done is work, work work, or go to school to better my life for my daughter and now daughters...sometimes life gets int eh way and the important thing ist ot remeber to live...I lost touch with a really good friend over some dumb principle on my part...I tried looking her up when my grandpa died and couldnt find her...to this day we still miss her...take care of yourself and if you have things you feel you need to patch up than do it... My grandpa and I didnt get along in fact I hated him, he also teased my girl and yelled at her none of us could do anythign right however when he was dying of cancer I was there by his side and my grannies the whole time throught it...I have no regrets and in the greatest time of need I was there loving and supportive...I go to his bench, clean it off and talk to him, even introduced him to my youngest he never met...she ddoesnt know him but has seen his poics and met his bench...anyway...yes life is short, repair what you feel youneedt o repair and do what you can to come to peace and hey I am here for ya...
*HUGS*
Kdel
New member
Keep your chin up, You can still talk to her in your prayers.
I did that , I tracked down a old friend (we had a falling out in school too) I told her I was sorry for the things I said and did. And she had no Idea what I was talking about.And told me that what I was saying did not affect her the way I thought it did?-So I don't know what to think about that. You could be hard on yourself (with your memories?)
I know this is hard for you. But you have to live your life- and be happy and healthy. Stay strong Sister!
We have got your hand
I did that , I tracked down a old friend (we had a falling out in school too) I told her I was sorry for the things I said and did. And she had no Idea what I was talking about.And told me that what I was saying did not affect her the way I thought it did?-So I don't know what to think about that. You could be hard on yourself (with your memories?)
I know this is hard for you. But you have to live your life- and be happy and healthy. Stay strong Sister!
We have got your hand
changeforlife
New member
TLA,
Thanks for telling me the story of your grandpa. Thanks for the support, I agree there's a lot of patching up I need to do, its one of my contributors to me being overweight. So if I'm serious about this weight loss, then I need to patch up other things in my life. Ugh, all this is happening for a reason, I know it.
God is trying to tell me something.
Kdel, you're right, some things aren't as nearly as big as we think it is. Things that we beat ourselves up about probably doesn't has no effect on the other person. Thanks for reminding me of that. I feel like this is a good time to close a lot of chapters in my life and move on, become healthy, and happy. Thanks for your support.
Thanks for telling me the story of your grandpa. Thanks for the support, I agree there's a lot of patching up I need to do, its one of my contributors to me being overweight. So if I'm serious about this weight loss, then I need to patch up other things in my life. Ugh, all this is happening for a reason, I know it.
God is trying to tell me something.
Kdel, you're right, some things aren't as nearly as big as we think it is. Things that we beat ourselves up about probably doesn't has no effect on the other person. Thanks for reminding me of that. I feel like this is a good time to close a lot of chapters in my life and move on, become healthy, and happy. Thanks for your support.