PAPrincess72
New member
Day # 393
I wish I was one of those "lucky" people that when faced with adversity, stress, or sadness could choose NOT to gorge on food. My grandfather passed away on Saturday, August 25th. I actually continued to eat fairly well through the viewings and morning of the funeral (Wed., August 29th). Then, after the funeral we gathered for a luncheon. I ate ok... but then my sister and I were standing near the cookie table. I had one. Then another...then another.... and the floodgates opened. I don't think I stopped eating from Wednesday through last night for longer than a minute at any given time. I take that back, I worked on Thursday and Friday of last week, so I couldn't shove food in nonstop all day. I did go out to dinner with a friend on Friday though and made really poor choices at the restaurant (Pumpkin Cheesecake anyone???) Even though I was full, I pretty much ate the entire piece. I have such issues with food, especially where grief is concerned. In 2002 my other grandfather passed away and an uncle....that's when the huge weight gain began. I really do not want a repeat of that performance. I don't think I could stand myself if I did. So, yesterday night, I ate the last of what I'm just going to name as "grief eating." I'm still sad for the loss of my Papa, of course, but I really can't justify using his death as a reasonable excuse to eat everything that is not nailed down. At least I did force myself into walking yesterday....not that it really canceled out the amount of calories I took in! Not in the least. I won't even embarrass myself with the lack of self control I displayed from Friday night through last night and tell you all that I inhaled....yup, inhaled as if it were only air to breathe.
I can admit this much... I feel like crap. I hadn't walked at all over the past week. There simply wasn't time with all that was going on. And, since I ate all the crap I did this past weekend, my stomach was in severe pain yesterday, and still somewhat today. I was afraid to weigh in. I know that if I see even a pound or two gain I'll be devastated and could relapse. My mind is crazy...yes, I'd use a 2-pound gain as a reason to give up....something I need to work on. Last night I went grocery shopping and bought all healthy fresh foods and today I restarted the "cleanse" or negative-calorie diet....well, my version of it. I'll weigh in next Monday and just put this nasty calorie-infested weekend behind me. My body hates me...I really am so run down and so drained. It's amazing how eating "bad" foods really do a number on how you feel. I'm looking forward to getting back on track and to not making this mistake again. Seriously, how could ice cream make me feel so crappy? Well, it does.
Today I had 2 eggs scrambled for breakfast with fresh salsa. I also had a grapefruit.
Snack was a nectarine.
For lunch I brought homemade veggie soup, tuna, and a fresh fruit salad with cantaloupe, strawberries, grapes, pineapple and I'll put in a banana, too.
Dinner will be chicken fajitas (minus the yummy sour cream and tortillas...so basically just the meat and veggies!) That or grilled chicken and zucchini. I haven't decided yet. And, an apple.
What I like about this "cleanse" diet of sorts is that I don't have to count calories. As long as I eat fresh foods, no preservatives, no carbs or dairy, I can pretty much eat any amount fruits, veggies, and lean meats. It really is dummy proof. And, I'm praying it gets me back on track for Monday's weigh in.
I tried to get up this morning to walk. My new goal is to get in 2 miles before work and then after about 4. That's the goal. I didn't live up to it this morning. I woke up at 3 a.m. with a killer headache. So, when the alarm went off at 5:50, I still had it and could smell natural gas. Some mornings I can smell that outside. I do not have any gas heat in my place. Probably what is causing the headache. So, I went back to sleep until 7. It's a super-nice day, so I have no excuse to not get in my walk tonight. Wish me luck I keep to it!
I wish I was one of those "lucky" people that when faced with adversity, stress, or sadness could choose NOT to gorge on food. My grandfather passed away on Saturday, August 25th. I actually continued to eat fairly well through the viewings and morning of the funeral (Wed., August 29th). Then, after the funeral we gathered for a luncheon. I ate ok... but then my sister and I were standing near the cookie table. I had one. Then another...then another.... and the floodgates opened. I don't think I stopped eating from Wednesday through last night for longer than a minute at any given time. I take that back, I worked on Thursday and Friday of last week, so I couldn't shove food in nonstop all day. I did go out to dinner with a friend on Friday though and made really poor choices at the restaurant (Pumpkin Cheesecake anyone???) Even though I was full, I pretty much ate the entire piece. I have such issues with food, especially where grief is concerned. In 2002 my other grandfather passed away and an uncle....that's when the huge weight gain began. I really do not want a repeat of that performance. I don't think I could stand myself if I did. So, yesterday night, I ate the last of what I'm just going to name as "grief eating." I'm still sad for the loss of my Papa, of course, but I really can't justify using his death as a reasonable excuse to eat everything that is not nailed down. At least I did force myself into walking yesterday....not that it really canceled out the amount of calories I took in! Not in the least. I won't even embarrass myself with the lack of self control I displayed from Friday night through last night and tell you all that I inhaled....yup, inhaled as if it were only air to breathe.
I can admit this much... I feel like crap. I hadn't walked at all over the past week. There simply wasn't time with all that was going on. And, since I ate all the crap I did this past weekend, my stomach was in severe pain yesterday, and still somewhat today. I was afraid to weigh in. I know that if I see even a pound or two gain I'll be devastated and could relapse. My mind is crazy...yes, I'd use a 2-pound gain as a reason to give up....something I need to work on. Last night I went grocery shopping and bought all healthy fresh foods and today I restarted the "cleanse" or negative-calorie diet....well, my version of it. I'll weigh in next Monday and just put this nasty calorie-infested weekend behind me. My body hates me...I really am so run down and so drained. It's amazing how eating "bad" foods really do a number on how you feel. I'm looking forward to getting back on track and to not making this mistake again. Seriously, how could ice cream make me feel so crappy? Well, it does.
Today I had 2 eggs scrambled for breakfast with fresh salsa. I also had a grapefruit.
Snack was a nectarine.
For lunch I brought homemade veggie soup, tuna, and a fresh fruit salad with cantaloupe, strawberries, grapes, pineapple and I'll put in a banana, too.
Dinner will be chicken fajitas (minus the yummy sour cream and tortillas...so basically just the meat and veggies!) That or grilled chicken and zucchini. I haven't decided yet. And, an apple.
What I like about this "cleanse" diet of sorts is that I don't have to count calories. As long as I eat fresh foods, no preservatives, no carbs or dairy, I can pretty much eat any amount fruits, veggies, and lean meats. It really is dummy proof. And, I'm praying it gets me back on track for Monday's weigh in.
I tried to get up this morning to walk. My new goal is to get in 2 miles before work and then after about 4. That's the goal. I didn't live up to it this morning. I woke up at 3 a.m. with a killer headache. So, when the alarm went off at 5:50, I still had it and could smell natural gas. Some mornings I can smell that outside. I do not have any gas heat in my place. Probably what is causing the headache. So, I went back to sleep until 7. It's a super-nice day, so I have no excuse to not get in my walk tonight. Wish me luck I keep to it!