Day # 176
I thought about not posting today. But, I'm an adult (well, I try to be) and I can admit when I've made a mistake. And, last night, I made HUGE food mistakes. I have no one to blame but myself. I was driving home and decided to stop at the grocery store. Now, you definitely should NOT do this when you are hungry. I was having a bad day and I was, for the first time in a long time, actually STARVING. I just kept thinking of food all day and was so hungry by 5 p.m. I should've went home, exercised and had something sensible. But, no, I stopped and loaded up on really REALLY bad foods. I won't go into the details, but trust me, it was bad. I'm not going to take all the blame myself...nono, I'm blaming one thing. Period. Yup, it's nearing that time this week and I had an unstoppable food urge yesterday. I am pulling the female card and blaming my severe and deadly cravings on the period. Some might say it is a weak excuse. And, most months I can ignore it, but yesterday it's like a food-starved monster took over my body. The most terrible part is I consciously made the choices. I am the one that whipped out the debit card and PAID for it! Geesh, it's shameful. But, I'm not going to let it deter me. In the past I would use that one night's screw up as an excuse to go on an all-week food binging expedition. But, not this time. I'm right back on track today. I couldn't walk because of the arctic blast and severe snow this morning, but I can eat much better. I had a smoothie for breakfast, brought a lean crapzene and sugar-free jello for lunch and will have another smoothie for dinner.
I have class tonight, so that should keep me on track. I can't shove food in my mouth if I'm in class, right? Right. That is definitely a good thing. Classes keep me on a strict schedule. And, I'm not stuck at home inside all night (like last night) with nothing to do. I'm thinking of investing in a treadmill. I really hate those machines. I'd much rather walk outside, but the weather being what it is, I can't always do that. And, a treadmill definitely leaves me little excuse to not exercise. We'll see. I'll scout out some prices online and see what I can find.
Here in the office we always have snacks. There is a huge bin of pretzels. And, I've decided not to have anymore ever again. I usually grab a small handful to have with my lunch. But, I think those handfuls have been getting bigger and bigger and it must stop. So, as of today no more pretzels for me. I'm not that huge a fan of them anyway. I just used them as an excuse to dip into some mustard. Mustard has no calories, but pretzels do. I was having way too many of them to satisfy my new mustard addiction.
So that's my tale of today. My name is Nicole and I'm a food addict, seriously. Last night my addiction got the better of me. It's funny how in the dark of evening you can convince yourself that eating all of that is ok. But, in the light of day you think to yourself, "What was I thinking????" That was me this morning. So, I'm jumping right back on the weight-watching wagon. Hoping for the best. Our trip to Disney is now in just 60 short days. And, I am committed to fitting into the new bathing suit I bought at Christmas. I have just enough time to make it happen I think. Wish me luck! Keep good thoughts that the snow and ultra-cold temps will end and I can walk again!!!