The New Me, miracles of modern science...

Hey Cabs! It's been a while since we've heard from you... WE MISS YOU!!!

Hope all is well in your world! Enjoy your day!
 
Sorry guys, I was on vacation for the holiday season, so I was busy at home and didn't get much chance to come in here. Had a lot going on in my life so it was tough to do much more than day to day stuff. I'm back to normal scheduling now so I should be able to see more people now.

Okay, 2011 (do you have a better name than that I can call you?), I see by the brief synopsis here that you have done the yo yo thing like me and are going for the full gastric bypass. IMO it is a much better choice than the lap band as the complications are fewer down the road IF you do what you are supposed to do and follow through with your nutritional needs afterward. As of right now the people in my family that have done the bypass have lost a substantial amount of weight. I have lost approximately 80 lbs in the 7 1/2 months since the surgery. My wife has lost 130 in the year and a half since hers. She is now "normal", I am still a little high on bmi, but have a higher level of muscular development than some because of my strength training workouts so I'm not concerned. My body fat % is quite normal for a man in his 40's.

All I can say is listen carefully to your surgeon's guidelines and pay attention to the dietician's advice and you will do fine. I'll be around if you want to bounce questions off of me.
 
Hello Cabbie, yes..sorry I did choose a bit of a naff name......I am Kayla.....

Thank you I am sure that once I actually get a surgery date...I will be driving you mad with questions...Congratulations on you own success...

Kayla
 
Wow Karl, not sure how I missed that. I didn't realize you'd done the surgery. Funny you mentioned strength training cuz I just posted to you some questions about that to you in my diary so pop over when you have a chance. Glad stuff is calming down and we'll get to see you more again :)
 
Sorry for not being around much, my life is pretty hectic these days. We got some family portraits done this weekend though. As a family, we've lost over 500lbs in the last 2 years, so now we wanted some "after" evidence of where we are now. Here is a shot of me with my 23 and 21 y/o daughters. Proud papa! Aren't they beautiful??
 
Hey Cabbie! :waving:

Wow! 500 lbs lost by your family is an awesome accomplishment! Great picture too! They look WAY younger than they are - maybe because they are standing next to you and you are so very tall? They look to me like they are in their early teens! Do they actually call you Papa? My girls call their dad Papa, but I don't know anyone else that gets called that by their kids. There have been a few times where people have mistaken him for their grandfather, especially when they hear them call him Papa! He HATES that! And of course you can't remind him of the fact that he IS old enough to be their grandfather. :reddevil: He's going to be 49 in a few months. And being 97% silver already doesn't help either.

How've you been? Really missed you around here lately! I hope your stress levels go down and you get time to post on here again.

Take care!
 
I suppose I should say a bit about why I haven't been on all that much lately. Besides work being busy as usual, things have been a little odd in my personal life lately too. The fact of the matter is, my wife and I are going through a rough patch in our marriage. After 23 years of marriage, most of which I have been working nights, we seem to be growing apart little by little, to the point where lately things have become more and more strained. During the week when we don't see each other much, we seem okay, but on weekends and vacations, we can't seem to get along to save our lives. It's not one thing, its a ton of little things that are all adding up to a level of overall stress that makes it difficult to even have a conversation sometimes.

This isn't new, its been happening for a very long time, incrementally in steps. What I'm not convinced of is whether or not we'll be able to make it through though. We had a great vacation a month ago, but there were tons of other distractions, so it wasn't like reality. When we're faced with little things, everything turns into a big fight over seemingly nothing. Right now, there isn't a good feeling all around. We're managing, but some days it comes down to the way we manage is by not dealing with things, because if we start actually talking about what is happening, we realize there is this gulf between us that neither of us seems to be able to reconcile. I'm right, she's wrong in my mind, she's right I'm wrong in hers. Attempts at compromise usually end up in one of us giving in, rather than actually coming to a workable solution.

To make matters worse, financially we're strapped. Not behind by any means, but we're in the place where neither of us could afford our lives without the other. There is no way that either of us could afford mortgage and bills without the other party's income being factored in, so we are essentially feeling trapped in a situation where we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. The girls are both adults, so there isn't any situation of child rearing or custodial considerations.

Anyhow, not here to be a downer, just explaining. Hope to be back with happier news soon..
 
Don't despair. I have no qualification to speak on the subject, haven't been married in years but I recently read a good book called "Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love". What I read was that it is easy to misread your partner, their deeper motivations, and that with a good counsellor its possible to get to the bottom and rediscover each other. Its not easy, I know. But as a bipolar sufferer I have had lots and lots of therapy and can attest that it does help to set things straight. Maybe its simplistic and maybe I'm way off but maybe you are both feeling insecure about being deeply valued and desired by your spouse? I firmly believe that we all can benefit from learning new relationship skills. It could be a simple fix. Getting some fresh ideas and input might help break the cycle of going around in circles. I think it also requires a big dose of humility. Hope the two of you find your groove in some quiet quality time together. Anyway, there is my 2 cents worth.

Beautiful photo by the way. I agree your girls look young and you look awesome.
 
Sorry you and your wife are going through a rough spot. I've been married almost as long as you have, where as my parents got divorced after 14 years and 4 out of 5 of my siblings have all been married multiple times, and the other cheats on his wife every chance he gets. They all ask me how we do it, but I really don't have a good answer. For us it's been pretty easy. I always tell them that it starts with making a good choice in the first place, and then after that, it's mostly about respect I think. You have to always treat one another with respect in all your dealings with one another. In all my siblings' and friends' marriages that have ended, it seems to me that once someone treated the other without respect, things were headed downhill. I've seen people treat strangers better than they did people they were supposed to have loved at some point in time, if not now.

In your case, if things can't be worked out respectfully, then it must be especially hard to be trapped financially. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that you can find a solution that suits you both.

Best of luck...
 
Sorry things are rough, Cabs. I wont pretend to have any idea what you're feeling, nor do I have any advice on what to do but you can always vent here. My boyfriends parents divorced when he was nearly 20 after 25 years of marriage. Sometimes people just stop "working", I guess. Anyway, I wish you luck and I truly hope things improve.
 
Good to see you posting again, hope things work out with ur wife cabbie xx
 
Hey Cabbie - what a lovely photo, yes your girls are really pretty and you look great too :)
I'm sorry to hear of your situation, must be so stressful. Sending positive vibes your way mate, hope things get better asap.

Jess :)
 
Heya Cabbie, long time no see. Its great to see you doing so well!

Shame about your wife and yourself, but i think anyone whos been stressed out majorly and been married will understand and have been there.
Try spending a little time just snuggling and cuddling and being a little more outwardly affectionate. It may seem forced at first but it will eventually help out.
Also, take some Vitamin B, you guys are probably low from surgery, and its a vital vitamin for stress control :)

Take care! will check in again :D
 
Hi Cabbie, I was just looking for your thread to ask you where you had got to and you had already posted :)
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you. I agree with the comment about respect but would take it a step further. I think that it is important to want your partner to be happy and for them to want you to be happy. My husband and myself have a better marraige then most people I know. We aren't so passionately in love as when we were younger but love each other and respect each others right to be happy. We do a lot of things together but do lots of things seperately as well without any pressure or resentments. Maybe if you could concentrate on making your wife's life happy then you would find yourself getting happier. This is no way any critisism of how you do things as I have no idea how your life is but it works for us.
I hope it all works out for you both or if not then I hope you find a way to live seperate lives and find happiness. xx
 
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