The mind is the enemy

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Hi Oaks-
Social anxiety? There are so many situations where I suffer from social anxiety & wish I could just melt into invisiblity. Being behind a bar I am full of confidence & quite cheeky. Being the other side of the bar mostly I would prefer to be elsewhere, usually at home. Personally I'm over having to prove myself to anyone. If someone else has trouble with my being uncomfortable out of my comfort zone, I think they have just as much of a problem. Comfort zones are meant to be comfortable. Just my personal view.
I think most of us put WAY too much pressure on ourselves, xoxo Cate
 
Thanks, Mystic

Rshaw, drinking away the anxiety is way too easy! Or eating it away. Until people try to talk to you while you're stuffing your face with some messy food and then eating isn't too easy, either, haha.

LaMa, I love being the first person at events! You're right, you can just sneak off whenever and not feel too bad. Unfortunately this most recent situation was a surprise party... I made my presence known by being flustered and weird right when I walked in. And I was trying to pretend it wasn't noticeable to anyone else but the party recipient's mom, who I met during that moment, told my friend how bad she felt for me because I was so nervous and uncomfortable. Ohhh, well.

Cate, I guess it's a common theme for us on the WLF, right? Having a job to do where you have to talk to people and provide a service sounds perfectly reasonable. Having to make small talk with people and develop that into interesting conversations sounds TERRIFYING!
 
Well, yesterday I did something very rare for me.... I sat down for an episode of TV with a cup of pineapple chunks in my hand, rather than the ice cream I had already planned in my head. WHOA. It made my lips and tongue tingly and weird (does that happen to anyone else?) but it was really good. I did supplement that with a cheese stick, which is probably 90 calories or so.

Dinner was pork and roasted potatoes. Which is my favorite. I use a little sriracha for extra flavor and sometimes I put a fried egg on the leftovers and it is delicious.
 
Amazing how much comes down to making substitutions (pineapple for ice cream, good habits for bad) and how much of a difference it makes. The trick that I struggle with is making the substitutions stick.
 
Fresh pineapple contains enzymes that try to break down your living flesh (to put it more interestingly than it is), hence the tingling. May cause sores, but will not do anything if you heat it or let it sit for a while before eating. Great job choosing the right option!
 
K&D, I love that you mentioned making things stick. I pretty much ate the pineapple because I was worried it would go bad. Ice cream doesn't go bad after a couple of days!! However, telling myself that I should just buy freezer-stable ice cream instead of pineapple next time won't help make better habits, haha.

LaMa, that's a pretty accurate way of describing how it feels! I've experienced the tingling before but not every time, so I wasn't too alarmed.
 
It's easier to create new habits (eg. choosing fruit over ice-cream) if you don't have the other alternatives handy in the freezer. I have Weis mango sorbet for the times I really feel like ice-cream. It's much lower in calories & is delicious & satisfies the craving. In Summer I have it with some fresh mango as well as a real treat. I shouldn't be talking about it now as I'm doing a 500 cal fast today & haven't eaten yet! :eek:
Doing well Oaks, xo Cate
 
I did a 20k race this weekend! The only goal was to finish without wanting to cry, which I did. It was hot and hilly and while the first half was really pretty (horses and orchards and shady/windy roads), the back half was just tough. Took 2 hours and 26 minutes. I'm more than ready to be done with these long runs. Half marathon in four weeks and then I get to ease up.

Not much else to report. Food has been average. G man is out of town for a couple of days and we're entertaining on Saturday, which is very rare for us. I've got lots of cleaning to do before then!

Oh, I've been reading my anxiety book a little more, and taking notes when I read things that strike a chord with me. I was in an unusually good mood on Friday that was especially weird considering TOM is due very soon. Even G made a comment about it. Back to usual today, haha. But nothing alarming.
 
20k? Twenty kilometers? As in almost half a marathon except king whatshisface didn´t want to leave his palace to greet the runners so they had to add a round through... probably the park of Buckingham Palace so they would simple pass by his balcony instead? I salute you (without in any way getting up to meet you on the finish line of course), that is amazing!
 
Haha, LaMa - Yep, that is exactly what I did! My last few long runs were close to that distance anyway, so I figured why the heck not. To be fair, I don't shy away from walk breaks, though. I made it almost to the 10k mark without stopping, with the exception of waiting for someone to fill up my water bottle. After that I walked a few times when I felt like it.

Thanks Cate!
 
Great job on the race!! I'm SLIGHTLY tempted by the Death Race near me next year, but it's 125km's!!! Ahh! What the heck am I thinking!!
I just completed my big run that I was training for and am so glad to be able to ease off a bit so I get you!!! Only a few more weeks and you can relax a bit!
 
Mystic, I looked up that race and read a blog post about it... Whoa. My brother does ultra races like that, but that elevation change is ridiculous! That being said, it would be badass to say you did that.

Q, one would argue that it's too far for me as well, haha. I was actually talking a few days before about doing a marathon in 2016... I'd even picked one out. G met me at the door after the 20k and the first words out of my mouth were "Remember what I said about wanting to do a marathon? Never mind."
 
Soooo the past couple of nights haven't been great. I've got the house to myself, and have been binging on sweets. Mostly ice cream sandwiches and gummy bears. Made myself angry last night because I bought these little ice cream cookie things from Trader Joe's that didn't end up exciting me at all, so I just said F it and ate half the box last night instead of spacing out my disappointment. Or instead of throwing the box away. That was only 360 calories worth of fail but I'd already had a real ice cream sandwich (170 calories) plus a few servings of chips (est 260 cals). Also had a cider with a splash of fireball whiskey, so we're looking at 1000 calories in post-dinner treats.

The cravings could have been TOM related but the willpower issue is 100% yours truly.

Also, I am lucky enough to not generally deal with pain or bloating on a monthly basis but last night I had some cramps that made it painful to be in an upright position. For those who have/have had to deal with that regularly I have a new found respect for you!
 
What they said :) Throwing away "food" that neither tastes great nor has any redeeming features nutritionally isn´t going to help any starving kids out in the world, so that´s one less reason to do it (and yes: I´m guilty of it myself occasionally and I know reason doesn´t really come into it). I´m trying to kill my stress and start over (again...), you´re more than welcome to join me.
 
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