The Chronicles of BarbieZ ;-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Barbie!!!! :D ..... Hummm I wander if you lose caleries by painting a bathroom??.... Maybe I need to go paint mine... lol..
 
Starting again - 12/2/05

Thanks for the birthday greetings gals!

It's been ages since I've been here (I'm one who withdraws when going through difficulty).... I've had a rough time since just before Thanksgiving, but have now commenced *starting over* (like my favorite show!). At least I'm holding steady in the weight department, and I haven't done any damage (or rather, already repaired the damage I did)! <big relieved sigh>

I've eaten well and exercised everyday for 3 days now. And since I had so much difficulty with disciplining myself over the last holiday and my birthday (and all the days in between - gasp!), I've come up with a new plan for myself starting this coming Monday.

I need to make good and bad immediate consequences for myself on this, my weight loss and fitness *project* to create more motivation and discipline. So, I've made a deal with my hubby - here's how it goes:

I start him out with $100 (5 20s). For everyday M-F that I exercise for one hour, take my supplements, AND forego my favorite high calorie beverage (beer), he'll give me $20 back. By Friday night, I should have *earned* all $100 back. YEY! Then, I give it to him again on Monday to start the process all over again after the weekend.

Say for instance that I screw up on Thursday, and he doesn't give me $20 for it. That means that on the following Monday, I'll only have $80 to give him from my *earnings*, so I'll have to kick in $20 more - YUCK!

That means I do NOT want to screw up exercise, supplements, or no-beer, coz it'll cost me big time, and I don't want to afford it. I'd rather spend my extra money on Xmas gifts, new clothes as I lose weight, etc.... you know, FUN things.

It all comes down to how much I trust myself. Will I FINALLY be able to keep a deal I make with myself? Losing money HURTS, so I think putting it opposite me as my challenger will make my journey of discipline easier. We'll see!

Rob is working tomorrow, and I'm committed to working on my new website while he's away, but I'll intend to pop in here and say hi individually...

See you tomorrow!
 
Hey Barbie! I was wandering where you had gotten off too!! I'm glad your back though!! Good luck on your *project* let me know how it goes! I'm sure you will do great! We are all here to support you!
 
This natural supplement WORKS!

Yeehaw - lost another pound and FINALLY got to change my ticker!

By the way, this past week, I purchased a small bottle of 5-htp to try after I did a search on it and found out what it could help me with. I'm having tremendous luck with it!

5-htp helps with:

-appetite reduction / carbohydrate cravings reduction / want & eat less
-lessen anxiety / calming, relaxing
-lifts depression
-lessen insomnia / deeper, more restful sleep

You know that irritibility you can get when dieting (or making any kind of significant change to an ingrained habit)? 5-htp basically calms down that buzz inside for me so I feel more relaxed and balanced.

AND... I don't go through the day thinking about food - I feel satisfied much longer. The obsessive thoughts about food and the guilt that goes with it just aren't there this week. :D :eek:

I wish I was selling this stuff - I'll be telling everyone I know about it! LOL

I've found it much cheaper at iherb.com than in my local stores (like GNC, RiteAid, etc.).

Also, if you do opt to do a trial of it for yourself, start with 50 mg. to see if that works for you first. I started with 100 mg. and my stomach didn't like it. Now, I consistently use only 50 mg. as a *dose* a few times a day (before meals and bed), and it's working great. Your body may be different, but start low if you want to avoid being uncomfortable!

Have FUN!
 
Hi Barbie. I just finished going through your diary. Wow, you are one seriously dedicated person. I know everbody says you have to deal with life's issues that caused you to be overweight to begin with, but I've never been able to do that. I'm one of those that would rather throw away the box than look inside it. Of course I started life being overweight. I was over 10 pounds when I was born and just kept getting bigger and bigger!! I'm definitely gonna keep checking up on you because reading your posts really get me thinking about my life. If I could organize myself like you who knows what I would accomplish!!
 
April"135" said:
Hi Barbie. I just finished going through your diary. Wow, you are one seriously dedicated person. I know everbody says you have to deal with life's issues that caused you to be overweight to begin with, but I've never been able to do that. I'm one of those that would rather throw away the box than look inside it. Of course I started life being overweight. I was over 10 pounds when I was born and just kept getting bigger and bigger!! I'm definitely gonna keep checking up on you because reading your posts really get me thinking about my life. If I could organize myself like you who knows what I would accomplish!!
Click to expand...

Hey April, thanks so much for the complement, but don't let me fool you! :p

When I was careening TOTALLY out of control the last part of November, I stayed out of here and didn't post about it. It's hard for me to post when I'm doing and feeling rotten.

I DO find it easier than most to dig into my own crap though LOL. Because some of my actions don't get me great results (say like TANTRUMS heehee), I look at all my feelings and why they are there, what beliefs about myself and the world caused them, etc. so I can begin to change them. As Dr. Phil says, *You can't change what you don't acknowledge* and that's been true in my case.

I'd be happy to work with you in *digging* if that's something that interests you. Just lemme know.

Thanks for popping in!!!!!

 
Actually I know it's something I really should and need to do. I've grown up being trained to be strong for everyone else and don't worry about me. So, things were bad, oh well. Get over it. I'm pretty good at showing that outwardly, but I know that the issues are still there. No family shoulders to lean on though because my shoulders are the ones that everyone says are the "strong ones". Perfect example is when my daughter died, I was told that I had to be strong for my mother!! She lost a granchild and she needs support. Hello????
 
April"135" said:
Actually I know it's something I really should and need to do. I've grown up being trained to be strong for everyone else and don't worry about me. So, things were bad, oh well. Get over it. I'm pretty good at showing that outwardly, but I know that the issues are still there. No family shoulders to lean on though because my shoulders are the ones that everyone says are the "strong ones". Perfect example is when my daughter died, I was told that I had to be strong for my mother!! She lost a granchild and she needs support. Hello????
Click to expand...

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I'm AGHAST! Holy cow, you must have been REALLY be showing your strength on the outside to get treated like that. People were more worried about her than you.... oh my gosh!

I guess we teach people how to treat us. <gulp>

I was trained in the same way - my dad was a football coach. I was supposed to simply get up, dust myself off, and get on with it... AND, with no crying, no emotions allowed.

Well.... I'll tell you what, my emotions have been BURSTING forth in the last 7 years, and I've certainly been teaching those around me how to treat me in a NEW way. I've lost some people along the way who couldn't deal with it, but those that are left are the most loving and supportive network I've EVER had in my life (including my blessed hubby), so it's been worth the loss... in fact, I GAINED, not lost!

I wish the same for you... and I can't imagine losing a child. My heart goes out to you.

 
just wanted to thank you for your compliments and hope you have a great weekend! :)
 
Barbie - I just read your diary - I was away for a little while too ... like you, I'm one of those who backs away when I mess up ... and that was the situation pretty much! But i'm back & SO happy to see you've joined :)
First of all, it sounds like you have an absolutley amazing relationship & marriage with your husband! Good for you =)
Also, you'r money plan sounds like it would definately give you motivation to keep on the right track - good thinkin hehe* ;)
Have a good afternoon!!!! I'm in my way to check out your supplement you're taking!! Thanks!
 
Hey there again lol* I just read up on that 5-HTP & it sounds promising (then again .. don't they all? hehe) But anyways, keep me updated on how it's working for you!! Keep up the good work girl!!
 
Hey Sweetie just wanted to pop my head in and tell you good morning. hope you had a great weekend and hope you have a great day today too.
 
Thank You barbie and I am so glad You came back! That is what this place is all about! I really hope we become close friends because maybe we can visit this summer when we get skinny and meet at kings island or somthing hehehe! I never new 40 would get me like this either but your encouragement has helped me a lot and I appreciate it!
 
Thanks for checking up on me gals!

No worries - I've been busy busy busy busy. Today I'm actually TAKING the time to come and say hi to everyone here INSTEAD of doing some chores I had in mind (no emergency with them - they can wait since *I* am more important, right?!).

I had a fun weekend and didn't do too bad in the food department, but as stated in my goals, did allow beer and wine Saturday and Sunday night (Beer for me is sort of like bread or chocolate is to some others here). I hope that strategy will help keep me going during the week when I really buckle down.

So far, so good. I did really well Monday, and doing great today, too. In a little while, I'll go straight from posting here to walking to the gym (takes 15 minutes), exercising there for 30 minutes while watching the first half of Oprah, then walking home again. There's my hour for the day. It's cold and snowy out, but the sun has been shining all day, and it's gorgeous. I'll just bundle up.

That supplement I talked about - 5-htp - amazingly is still working for me, taking the edge off and helping me feel much more at ease. Now that I've developed some confidence in it, I went and ordered 4 bottles of the 50 mg. 90 caps since I don't have to pay for shipping. That will keep me stocked for quite some time. And by the time I'm through with those bottles, maybe I won't even need/want them anymore. I hope that's the case.

Well, that's it for me for now... off to answer some posts I've missed...

HUGS TO ALL!

 
Hey..stopping by to see how you are.....Right now I am having some trouble getting back on the program.....but I know what it is all about...and falling down is to be expected......
Keep it up!
 
12/7/05

My scale reads me as 3 pounds heavier this morning, but I'm not worried since I know I ate a lot of salty stuff yesterday, including 2 cups of bouillon. I guess I should be drinking LOTS of water today to wash me out, huh? lol

I did succomb to desert last night, albeit a small portion. From the way my stomach felt afterwards, it wasn't worth it -- I was already *just right* in fullness after dinner, and the desert (piece of pumpkin pie) took me into the uncomfortable zone. Silly silly! :p

I did great the rest of the day, including an hour's worth of cardio. I've read in more than one place that to burn the most fat, you should exercise in the morning before eating anything -- that way, your body has to pull from your fat cells rather than the energy in any food you've just eaten. Makes sense, but boy do I have a problem in the winter getting motivated to start moving early. I'd rather sit with my steaming cup of coffee for a couple hours on the computer (which I've already done today)! I haven't eaten anything yet today, though, so I still have the opportunity to get my exercise in and done with, with the added bonus that I'm burning more fat by doing so...

I think I'll go suit up and get'r done.

Oh, one more thing... I'm also reading how beneficial and weight loss producing it is to combine foods in the right way --

1. Fruit ALONE on an empty stomach (not mixing citris or melon with anything else)
2. Non starchy veggies w/protein
3. Veggies w/carbohydrates

I'm going to follow that guide from now on, even on the weekends.

Off to exercise!

 
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