Struggling? I can help.

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ChuckRoast said:
How convenient.
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you have a problem wtih it - take it up with m e - Steve has no problem speaking for himself and will - my concern is for the good of the board and you calling out a member you are having a problem with publicly is not for the good of the board..

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ChuckRoast said:
I have not formally tracked it but that is the rate of the people I counsel. I did it at the local Y where I was a fitness instructor. I have the files but they are confidential. Let is suffice to say. As I got better at cutting through their bullshit the resualt improved. It was equal among men and women. I had mostly women in the program. I ended up being more of a therapist than a guy who stood next to them and counted reps.

I educated them so that they would not have to rely on me for anything. A few got pissed and left but some of them came back. It is tough for a person to admit they are doing bad things to their health and to their kid's health.

I can motivate almost anyone to lose weight but that is the easy part. Life style change is the tough part and that requires making them get real. That is not always easy or pleasant.
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Ah the myth of experience then it comes to therapy. Extensive research has shown that when it comes to any type of therapy, no one gets better the more they do it. A therapist fresh out of the gate does no better than one with decades of experience. This is due to the simple fact that therapists do not work in a way that they can learn from their experiences with clients.
 
maleficent said:
I pulled out the moderator card on that one -it doesnt benefit the board to have it there - and I opted to censor :) One thread of this is really enough - if you dont mind :)
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Haha, I really don't mind. I was just mad that my post wasn't submitted.... I hate when that happens.

I don't want this infesting the forum either.... it should remain in one thread.
 
corndogggy said:
I will make one more observation though. Many of Chuck's posts remind me of the way I used to be, which is pretty funny in itself.

A little over a year ago I was asked to help with a weight loss class at church. I jumped in with both feet trying to help people, and it ended up being all middle aged women. It didn't take long for me to realize that most people there didn't have a clue, had no idea about even the most basic subjects. Well, I busted my ass for those people. I even started working directly with the nutritional director at a local hospital, and when things got complicated due to medical issues or whatever, I was a free proxy between the director and the class, and basically helping them get HIGHLY customized programs and diets at no cost at all.

After, I don't know, maybe 3 months, I realized something: they weren't really losing anything. Maybe a few pounds of water weight at first, but then that stopped quickly. But, the shocking part was that they were still doing the stupid stuff that they knew to not do. One amazingly fat chick admitted that she was still eating ice cream and having a coke... FOR BREAKFAST. Another few weeks passed, and I got angrier, and angrier. I was wasting my time. With the state of mind they had, they were simply not going to change.

Well, here's where the mistake came in: I took my anger out on them. On middle aged women, at church. I became rather abusive, and insulting. I thought this would put a fire in their hearts to be willing to take some of the suffering they thought they were going to have to endure. I was treating them as if they were physically capable male friends of mine who were my age, which would have worked and might be appropriate for a group like that who just wasted 3-4 months of my time. Middle aged church ladies though... not so much. It showed too. They didn't even really want to try anymore. It totally turned them off and the class turned into a gossip session.

I finally just gave up. The lesson I learned was that weight loss is very simple... yet the psychology of a woman trying to lose weight is incredibly complex... and scores different than a capable man's. I don't even want to attempt to learn how to deal with it, somebody else can do that.

So if anything is funny to me, it's that somebody is coming in here, making the same mistakes that I did, basically telling a group of people who are mostly middle aged women to "man-up" in a verbally abusive kind of way, then considering themselves an expert... which is obviously far from the truth.

As for the people who are getting bent out of shape... all I can say is that you probably ought to do exactly what he said and just ignore him, he'll actually understand why you did one of these days.
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That's actually an excellent post Corn.

You made up for your ray of brilliance earlier.
 
and I opted to censor
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I didn't think this was russia... wait, this isn't russia, is it?

(<3 mal, please spank me hard, with a wire bristle hair brush )
 
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maleficent said:
so your method of motivation is to bully them...

How did you come by your position at the Y and did they support your methods? were they aware of how you operate? are you still doing it?
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Some people may feel bullied. Some people are wimps. I was not bullying them.

The director loved me. I no longer live in that town and I am doing other things.

I am trying to find a way to do it online and train other people in the methods.

Right now I am counseling a few people. I know that the couch trip is not effective so what I do is give them assignments. For instance when I get a metabolism denier I ask them to find proof and show me. I have a buddy who teaches piano. His students will not learn in the just sit around and talk about pianos. They need to complete assigned lessons. I assign lessons to fit the needs of each "student".
 
if you tailor stuff based on the needs of the student - i'd imagine that listening and comprehension are two necessary skills... Why are you choosing to not listen to anything that's being said here and just promoting your own agenda?

Are you expecting to find people to counsel here? if so, you're going about it the wrong way...
 
maleficent said:
if you tailor stuff based on the needs of the student - i'd imagine that listening and comprehension are two necessary skills... Why are you choosing to not listen to anything that's being said here and just promoting your own agenda?

Are you expecting to find people to counsel here? if so, you're going about it the wrong way...
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I know their BS better than they do. I know their lies and tactics.

When the PM function is working they will be contacting me.
 
the pm function works fine - if somoene wanted to contact you - they could - you just dont have the ability to send yet...

How do you know the bs of unknown people better than those unknown people know their own bs... do you just make gross generalizations about every obese person and automatically assume that every story is the same?

What method that works for one person - absolutely does not work for another and sometimes you do more harm than good.

You've got two ears, Chuck, one mouth, you really might try listening twice as much as you talk, you might actually learn something.. instead of just doing the army drill sargeant routine...
 
But he's a super hero who makes fat people, skinny, with the touch of a finger and a single sentence of, "You are a glutton."

Duh Mal... get with the program. He's been very clear!

He also does not know what the burden of proof is.
 
Gluttony one of the seven deadly sins..

along with Pride Envy Anger Sloth Greed and Lust

I personally am all about lust myself... but eh - sin is sin... and I like me some sin - I really need to sin more...

mmmm sin...
 
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