Step by step, day by day :D

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No Ashtanga studio where I live, CaliGirl so just do it on my own. I was stupid to try to push it...Now I'm scared I'll never be able to do it (and who knows what else...) coz it even hurts when I try to sit crosslegged on the floor. Not good :(

Yeah I already log everything into MFP and check out the nutritional breakdown, that's how I know my carbs intake (considering how much time I've been spending sitting down lately) is way too high. Jen, yeah I know carbs from fruit are much better than carbs from cake :D but I find that I justify to myself my emotional eating by consuming ridiculous amounts of fruit.

So I haven't been exercising coz trying to rest the leg, but I don't know if I'm REALLY trying to rest it or if I'm just finding an excuse to feel shitty, if you know what I mean. I've been looking for stuff on self sabotage (coz I've been overeating these last couple of days and even had almost a full packet of cigarettes :eek: (soaked them in water and binned them now, coz I don't ACTUALLY want to smoke, I'm fully aware of how utterly STUPID it is) and I think soooo much of the stuff I'm dealing with today comes from when I was a kid. Now, the question is how to solve ALL THAT? Maybe I will have to do some sort of therapy one day if I don't manage to sort out my relationship with food on my own. It's about reprogramming my head and THAT is hard...

cate said:
'm glad I encouraged(nagged?) you to do some more study the other night :D
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I'm glad too Cate :D My exam is TOMORROW at 9am. I can't quite believe it, but I'm soooo ready to just do it and see how it goes.... The results don't come out until the end of July...bastards :D I have to go to Shanghai tonight coz otherwise I wouldn't be able to make it.

I'm feeling tired of the constant battle in my head.
 
I can greatly recommend "The Beck diet solution" to help reprogramming your head. It´s no magic pill but it really helps. Does your leg hurt when you walk normally? I agree with Cate: the fact that you heard a crack doesn´t sound good. Get thee to a doctor if it doesn´t resolve itself very quickly.
 
Thanks for the suggestion LaMa, I'll check it out for sure.

No, it doesn't hurt when I walk or cycle, it hurts when I try to place my knee at a certain angle. Yeah, I'll go to the doctors if it continues. How does stuff like this get fixed?
 
Depends on what it is. If a ligament is torn completely it might need surgery but more likely it´s just a sprain, which should get better with gentle exercise (like walking or cycling, anything which doesn´t hurt or feel weird really).
 
So I've done my exam and I'm relieved but I'll only be TRULY relieved when I know I won't have to do it ever again. It was every bit as horrible as I imagined.

I got the book and working through it. There's been some really cool practical suggestions already and she doesn't beat around the bush :D 'Yes, you do have the tendency to put on weight, no you can't eat whatever you want if you want to keep the weight off. Now look at the bigger picture and deal with it'. I like it :D
 
I like her approach too. I didn't read the book until after I had lost weight, but find it helpful as a reminder. All crossable body parts crossed for your exam result :D
 
Thanks, ladies! Yes, I'm crossing everything crossable too :D

Another day of coursework for me. I'm not gonna kid myself though, there is no way I can do 15 hours of work! Soo..THAT means that I CAN do some exercise. I haven't done any in a week and it already feels hard to get back into it. I need to though, coz it ain't gonna get easier, that's for sure.
 
You are close to the finish line darling.......MAKE IT HAPPEN.......sending you lots of positive thoughts and energy your way!
Good luck on the exam and if anything, do some "dancing like no one is watching" to calm your nerves! ;-)

Xoxox
 
CaliGirl said:
do some "dancing like no one is watching" to calm your nerves! ;-)
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That's defo better than 'eating like no one is watching' :D

Thanks sister ;) It feels PAINFul, like the last km of a veeeeery long race. The finish line is so close and yet so far hahha.
 
Today was a really great day... But somehow I can't feel IT. Maybe because it's a reminder that it was the first day this week where I've felt in control and not eaten an excessive amount of fruit and/or brazil nuts and dates...I know how I SHOULD look at it and really trying to be positive! I just want this to stay like this, life would be so much easier (yes, I know MANY people have much greater struggles but I'm consciously ignoring this rational thought :p )

Ok, so why was today a great day?

1) Did all the coursework I set out to do today
2) Amount of carbs 192g (MFP recommends 172g, it's OK :D), amount of sugar 49 (MFP recommends 52)
3) Another day with NO processed sugar
4) Run 5k and walked 4, I was worried I wouldn't be able to run but I managed and I felt sooo grateful that I didn't f*ck my leg up completely (hadn't gone running for nearly 2 weeks so this felt extra good).

Hoping tomorrow will have more oomph to it!
 
Life's better without Damocles' sword hanging over your head ;) Well done you! Glad to hear your knee's doing better.
 
"Don't expect things to change overnight :) This is a life-time change."
I think you're doing very well Delsid. Well done on the run/walk! Glad your knee is feeling better. Here's to some oomph for all of us. I could do with a bit of oomph :)
 
Delsid said:
Ups and downs on my front but haven't had any processed sugar since whenever I last screwed up (Thursday?). But, I've been watching my carbs intake (mainly from fruit) and it's really HIGH! I need to try to find ways to eat more protein and less carbs! I'm still wobbly in places and the long term goal is to get rid of that wobbliness. I guess doing more HIIT would also help to burn that FAT.

Last week I was doing yoga and when I was doing one of the poses I heard a strange noise (like a twig breaking or something) and I'm not sure what I did (hopefully nothing too serious...) but now the areas below my knee (both on the outside of my leg and under my knee) hurt when I do certain movements...it's not excruciating pain or anything and I REALLY REALLY hope that it will go away if I rest it...

NOTE TO SELF: all those injuries you read about... they are real and can happen to YOU!!!!!
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I was doing yoga for a little while at one point and I would often hear or feel little pops and cracks. Most of it was just my body reacting to being put into positions it had never been in before. However, if you heard a crack and your knee hurts when doing certain poses I would just avoid those certain poses for a few days. From what it sounds like, you probably just tweaked a tendon or something, especially if both the front and back of your knee hurt. Just don't push it for the next few days and see if that helps. You might just be tender.
 
Congrats on your recent 3 months on the forums. I personally know for every break I've taken I always come back. There is no better place for genuine support and encouragement anywhere.

:beating:And awesome about the ciggys! Throw them away now and never look back please, I have personally seen how horribly they affect my mother's life, the addiction is real. She is on oxygen full time and still can't stop. I always tell my boys..."please don't start, then you won't ever have to struggle to quit!" I am sending good vibes for you to say goodbye to them forever!
 
ChefChiTown said:
Just don't push it for the next few days and see if that helps. You might just be tender.
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Thanks Chef, yeah I think it's getting better.

tetemcg said:
Throw them away now and never look back please,
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I REALLY don't want to smoke. I've never been a 'full time' smoker and now trying not to smoke from time to time either.Thanks for the good vibes :)


So here is how today went:

Until 6pm I was in an ok place. Happy with my food and the work I'd done. Then my Kiwi friend asked me to go round hers for a beer. I said yes because I knew I wasn't going to do any more coursework tonight. But SOMEHOW in my head I started to feel guilty and stressed (because maybe I *shouldn't* go out coz I have a massive deadline on Sunday...)So I ate emotionally before I left the house. I know that in that moment I should have paused and really taken a moment to calm myself down. The thing is though, in those moments I feel like I'm literally DROWNING in those emotions and thoughts, and I feel like I CAN'T take control...Then I went to hers, drank some beer and ate again (WASN'T hungry) ...a massive amount of peanuts and crisps...Did I enjoy them? Maybe the first few...not after a while though...After a while it was just pure desperation and doing things out of spite and self loathing. And it felt like that little voice in my head that always tells me that I will fail was getting fed by all this junk and growing in power. Now I'm home feeling hopeless and seriously fed up (and too full and sick!). I don't want to listen to that voice and I want to shut it up more than anything right now. And yet picking myself up again feels like such a struggle. I keep thinking 'tomorrow has to be different' And that voice replies 'will it though?'
The thing is, what's the alternative? I can either try and deal with my head or give up and feel totally shitty and worthless and just LOW because I'm finding it too hard these days to feel positive and in control. It IS hard but I am going to try. What can I do to break away from this shitty streak and really believe that things will change? I'm sooo tired of this...

'If you're tired, my friend then you should rest, but DO NOT give up'
 
Next time you feel like you´re drowning: please come on here and rant a bit instead! You can absolutely do this, your brain is just so used to its quick fix of high-calorie bliss that it doesn´t WANT another way. Yet. But you can teach it to.
 
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