Sophie's Diary--Holding Myself Accountable

Saturday:

Breakfast—two slices whole-grain toast, one tbsp currant jelly, one poached egg, kipper fillet with non-fat sour cream, coffee with two tsp sugar and skim milk
Snack—fiber bar
Lunch—chicken; whole-grain roll; non-fat, sugar-free cheesecake pudding with fresh blackberries
Dinner—half a cheeseburger, french fries with mayonnaise, small portion barbecued chicken strips with ranch dressing

Sunday:

Breakfast—high-fiber cereal with skim milk, coffee with two tsp sugar and skim milk
Snack—fiber bar
Lunch—half a cheeseburger, fresh watermelon
Dinner—leftover barbecued chicken strips, sweet potato fries, coffee with sugar and fat-free half-and-half
Horrible, awful 3 a.m. snack—lean cuisine pizza, homemade pumpkin bar

Monday:

Breakfast—fiber bar
Lunch—sugar-free smoothie with soy powder
Snack—sunflower seeds, pumpkin bar
Dinner—chicken, brown rice, black beans, fat-free sour cream, salsa
Snack—coffee, pumpkin bar

Carrie, don't don't worry about the pause. Your body is adjusting, and once it gets straightened around, you'll have smoother, healthier weight loss.

Natalie Jo, thanks for the support—I'm sorry you've been having some setbacks, but I know you're going to overcome them magnificently.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted here in days. I've been dealing with the final crush of the semester, as witnessed by my utter inability to eat properly or exercise for the past three days. It's very…intense and miserable. I hope for better things.
 
Yesterday's record

Breakfast—pumpkin bar, coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—fiber bar
Lunch—poached salmon filet with one tbsp light mayonnaise, capers, and a little bit of tabasco
Snack—one cookie, crackers with artichoke spread
Snack—tortilla chips with queso
Dinner—black beans, brown rice, fat-free sour cream, salsa
Snack—coffee, 90-calorie Special K bar, raisins

Another rather sorry day, but I think I've turned the corner nonetheless. I finally have the day off today, and I'm going to cook up a storm of healthy, tasty food so that I won't be yearning after crap.
 
Hi Sophie!

I'm really hoping things are winding down for you!! You've been doing wonderfully just looking at your food record. They're better than mine! I'm hoping that you can get some good rest soon and take some time for yourself. :)
 
Breakfast—two cups coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar; oatmeal cooked with milk and fresh mango, topped with one tbsp brown sugar
Snack—skinny vanilla latte
Lunch—small portion low-fat cauliflower and leek soup with one tbsp crumbled goat cheese; whole-grain roll; mixed-lettuce salad with pear, fat-free feta, lemon juice and one tsp olive oil
Dinner—homemade mu shu pork and vegetables with brown rice
Snack—100-calorie ice cream sandwich, coffee as above

Heather, thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm finding my way back to normalcy, despite an ardent need for a grading marathon tomorrow, and then a few days of writing marathon after that! But today felt like I'd done something right, just by getting in my fruits and veg!
 
Yesterday's record:

Breakfast—mu shoo pork and noodles, coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—coffee with sugar and crappy powdered creamer
Lunch—grilled chicken sandwich, tater tots, lemon-berry slush
Snack—half a Clif bar
Snack—pretzel crisps
Dinner—salad with chicken breast, handful baked sesame crackers
Snack—hot chocolate, cheese and crackers

30 minutes on the elliptical.

And, it's weigh-in morning. I'm down one pound to 263.8 today. I have no idea how. I plainly do not deserve to be at 263.8. But here I am.

Nevertheless, I'm not going to let that get in the way of my knowledge that I need to reconnect with my goals so that I can continue to lose weight and be proud of myself. Yesterday was another sucky day, with me running around to errands and eating crap. But it's my responsibility to make sure that even sucky days don't lead to eating crap. I mean, imagine if I were a parent, and I said, "Oh, yes, I don't leave the toddler at home alone unless I have a really busy day." I would be worst parent ever. So I have to find a way to prioritize my healthy habits the same way a parent would prioritize looking after his/her child.
 
Snack—fiber bar, one cup coffee with milk and two tsp sugar
Breakfast—two Kashi whole-grain waffles with pear and one tsp sugar
Lunch—salad with almonds, grapes, chicken breast, and sesame dressing
Snack—120 calories of dried fruit (mangosteen, dragon fruit, and cherries), coffee with skim milk and one tsp sugar
Dinner—pork tenderloin with marinade, sweet potato and parsnips; spinach salad with fat-free feta and dried cranberries and lemon dressing
Snack—hot chocolate

Not such a bad day. I didn't get any real exercise in, but I also didn't stuff things indiscriminately in my mouth, so that's something.

Wishes, you're absolutely right—I should just be thankful for the pound shed and then work hard to make it more next week!
 
Soph sweetie, when we get into a rut, we just have to climb out of it. It looks like you know exactly how to do it too, by convincing yourself it's not the end of the world and in the end, we're only responsible for ourselves. I'm proud of you for understanding this.

And the crap about not deserving to be at the weight you are now is B.S. Of course you do, you've been working SO HARD to be where you are, how can you not deserve it?

You're worthwhile sweetie. You're a beautiful, intelligent, captivating person. You deserve everything and more that the world can give you. Don't EVER forget that.
 
Breakfast—two slices whole-grain toast, one tsp marmalade, one wedge Laughing Cow light cheese, fresh mango, two cups coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—fiber bar
Lunch—vegetable curry, spiced lentils, 2/3 slice buttered whole-grain naan
Snack—coffee, half a Clif bar
Dinner—whole-grain pasta with avocado and shrimp sauce, leeks and brussel sprouts in mustard sauce
Snack—hot milk, one oatmeal cranberry cookie

No exercise owing to stupid, pointless oversleeping, but at least I felt back in control, eating-wise, today.

Rachel, thank you so much for all your generous encouragement. I suppose I meant more that I didn't deserve any loss this week in particular, but you're right. Even when I feel like I'm slipping, I'm still not giving in entirely, my brain is still on and preventing me from the worst behaviors. It's wonderful of you to be so kind and thoughtful.
 
Breakfast—two slices whole-grain toast, half a tin of drained sardines, coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—mango
Lunch— 70 calories of POM tea light, whole-grain pasta with avocado, spinach and shrimp sauce, leeks and brussel sprouts in mustard sauce
Snack—coffee as above, Lara bar
Dinner—spinach salad with goat cheese, apple, and walnuts; steamed artichoke; low-fat sardine spread on whole-grain crackers

26 minutes on the elliptical and 12 minutes of toning, so not a bad day, overall. Between yesterday and today, I'm starting to feel like I'm more in control of my health and body again.
 
Breakfast—oatmeal cooked with milk, banana, honey, one wedge Laughing Cow light cheese
Snack—35 calories POM light tea, fresh mango
Lunch— Brown rice, vegetable curry and spiced lentils, grapes
Snack—coffee as above
Snack—fiber bar
Dinner—spinach salad with fat-free feta, apple, and walnuts; vegetable lasagna
Snack—hot chocolate

20 minutes of strength exercises—muscles all trembly.
 
Breakfast—one whole-grain English muffin, two tsp fig jam, ¾ ounce cheese, one tangerine, two cups coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—fresh mango
Lunch— butternut squash soup, whole-grain roll, small portion (less than half) pear
Snack—fiber bar, gorgeous fruit punch with hibiscus flowers and blueberries and pineapple puree and things
Dinner—spinach salad with grapes and almonds; risotto with roasted asparagus
Snack—one cup coffee as above

25 minutes on the elliptical today. I'm very, very sore, though. I need a day off for my muscles to regroup.

And you know, I'd forgotten how wonderful it feels to be really in control of my eating and have plenty of good, fresh food to enjoy. I also love going to the grocery store and pretending I have one of those nutritionists who evaluate people's food in "What's in your basket?" features. So I make up a little evaluation: "Sophie's buying lots of blueberries, which are a wonderful source of antioxidants, and provide a decent amount of fiber. She's also got a bottle of salad spritzer, which is a wonderful way to avoid all that high-fat salad dressing. These fiber bars should be fine, as long as they're factored into her daily caloric needs, etc." It's quite fun.
 
Hey Sophie! I'm so glad to see you feeling so positive and doing so very well! I love your running commentary on the foods in your shopping cart. :) It does feel good to get home and stock the fridge full of all sorts of good for you foods, though! And I love the feeling of having made something that was nutritious and tasty for the boy and myself.
 
Breakfast—one whole-grain English muffin, egg fried in canola spray, ½ ounce reduced-fat cheddar, one tsp reduced-fat mayonnaise, one tangerine, two cups coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar
Snack—fiber bar
Lunch— risotto and roasted asparagus, fresh pineapple
Snack—gorgeous fruit punch with hibiscus flowers and blueberries and pineapple puree and things
Dinner—orange sesame chicken with snow peas
Snack—four or five spoonfuls of ice cream

Heather, you're right, it is fun, making healthy meals. In some very weird way. It may be some latent 1950s-housewife gene in me that gets all excited when I dish up a perfect meal. Even if I'm the only one eating it, it still feels like an accomplishment. Well, I suppose it is.
 
Breakfast—one cup coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar, caramel wafer, Morningstar Farms veggie cake, one tangerine
Snack—banana
Lunch—orange sesame chicken with snow peas over brown rice, light yoghurt
Snack—35 calories of POM light tea
Snack—fiber bar, fresh blueberries
Dinner—90 calories of crackers, steamed artichoke, whole-grain pasta with roasted red pepper sauce and grated parmesan
Snack—1/3 serving jelly beans, half a Mint Three Musketeers

30 minutes on the elliptical today.
 
Special weigh-in post: I'm at 262.6 today! Hurrah! It's nice to feel like I'm back on track and losing at a pace that makes me happy.

Also, I wanted to let everyone know that I've entered into a period of reading deprivation, so while I'll still be posting, I won't be able to check anyone's journals or read comments here for the next week. I'm trying to rest my brain from the exhaustion of the semester. But I'll be back in a week, refreshed and rejuvenated.
 
Breakfast—two cups coffee with skim milk and two tsp sugar, fiber bar
Snack—whole-grain English muffin with almond butter
Lunch—whole-grain pasta with roasted red pepper sauce and grated parmesan
Snack—blood orange soda
Dinner—roasted red peppers stuffed with tuna salad (made with reduced-fat mayonnaise), roasted corn
Snack—light vanilla yoghurt with raspberries, agave nectar, and a spoonful of cereal; small portion cheese and three crackers; two cups coffee as above

Walked semi-briskly for forty-five or so minutes in the park. Quite lovely, and I was glad I took advantage of what will probably be one of the last nice days before summer really hits here. Also, there were turtles in the canal!
 
Hey Sophie :)

I'm really glad to hear that you are taking a hiatus. That is sooo important. I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing time this week. You deserve it!!! And isn't the weather fabulous? I'm definitely enjoying our new locale and starting to walk around in the WOODS behind our apartment complex! It's great to be outside again. :)
 
Breakfast—tea with skim milk and two tsp sugar, whole-grain English muffin with two tsp lemon curd
Snack—coffees with two tsp sugar and half-and-half
Snack—fresh grapes
Lunch—whole-grain pasta, sliced parsnips sautéed in olive oil, grated parmesan
Snack—fiber bar
Dinner—spinach salad with snapea crisps; baked salmon with a spoonful of green olive tapenade; asparagus sprayed with canola
Snack—baked apple stuffed with walnuts and raisins (about two tbsp combined), two cups coffee with skim milk and one tsp sugar

Did 25 minutes on the elliptical. I'm feeling dreadful about not posting for days, but things got a bit mad, I made some bad choices, etc. etc. I may have to face a gain on Saturday, but that doesn't matter, since today I managed to make good choices, and that's what really matters.
 
Yesterday's record:

Breakfast—half a cup of coffee with skim milk and two tsp half-and-half, fiber bar
Lunch—shrimp and oyster po' boy, partial portions corn on the cob and coleslaw, about a third of a portion of bread pudding, soda
Snack—Lara bar
Dinner—spinach salad with dried blueberries; baked sweet potato wedges; two ounces lean beef with one tbsp marinade
Snack—coffee, as above; grapes

And, happily, my water weight has receded, leaving me down to 261.2, for which I'm very, very grateful. I can't wait until it's time to change tickers.

And tomorrow my reading deprivation will end, and I'll be around to see how all of you are doing!
 
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