SakanaUshi's Diary

Ooh, one last thing. I bought an exercise ball to use in my living room for two things. First, I'll do some crunches and such on it daily. And second, it's my new desk chair for the time being. So, I'm sitting on it right now. :)

We have one at work, but I think I'm too heavy for it.
 
if you ask me weight loss is fickle and comes off when it feels like it at any random time hahahah, just don't let it disourage you and you'll be fine!
 
The directions for mine say that "the maximum weight is 300lbs", but I figure that 304 isn't pushing it too hard. I'd imagine that most would be 300, but I suppose it could vary from model to model.


Had a bad morning.... Tuesdays are the days I drive my wife in to work, and I stopped at the cursed McDonald's. It's alright, though... I'll just have a bag of steamed veggies for lunch and call it even.
 
Tuesdays are tough! It takes time though and there will be naughty times like stops at MacDonalds but as long as you balance it out and have more good moments than bad it will work out.:)
 
Is there a place near McD's that sells less rubbish food? It's damn hard to break a habit, but much easier to modify it a bit. So if you could hit a different place on Tuesdays, you'd still have your Tuesday habit, but you'd avoid eating that styrofoam crap McD's pretend is food. (Regarding McD's for me it's as much not giving them money as it is not eating their food for health reasons).
 
Really, if I make it past McDonald's, I just go home and eat cereal or something. In fact, I don't even like McDonald's especially well, but it's the only place at which it's easy to stop. I suppose I could hit up IHOP or Denny's, but it would be out of the way, and only marginally healthier (IHOP has a healthy menu on the back of their menu). Really, I just need to not go to McDonald's. I don't go every time, and lately I've been better about it other than this week.

I had fallen out of the habit of working out for a few days there, but I went last night and kicked some butt on the elliptical, so that's a good start. And though I've been bad about recording stuff on FitDay (haven't even touched the site in days), I've actually been making good decisions in general. I weighed myself this morning to assess the damage of my lazy week... 302.5lbs. :) So, yay!

I'm not gonna bother with FitDay for the past few days, but I'll try to record today and for awhile longer. I want to make sure the habits are in place.
 
Did FitDay yesterday, and made sure I was in range for me.

I weighed 303 yesterday, so I'm still okay.

I have had no motivation to work out. One factor is that it's starting to get hot here, and we're trying to postpone turning on the A/C. When I'm sitting around sweating, the last thing I want to do is work out. But I bought some bottled water yesterday and I'm determined to bring one a day to the gym for 24 days straight. I have three more pounds to lose in about three weeks, so I have to step it up. My sister's wedding is coming up, and I have to look good in my dress... I mean suit. ;)

Anyway, had a lousy morning (damn Tuesdays!) but I've got lunch and dinner planned out, and it should be okay if I work out. Heck, it'd probably be only a little over if I didn't work out, but I'M GONNA WORK OUT! :)
 
pushing my workouts o you!

hey hey how goes?! So check it. one way to beat the heat is to work out in the morning if that is an option for you. Hit the gym between 5 and six, have your day to yourself, and beat the heat all at the same time. also don't give up on working out!!! the more you workout, the more you can eat! haha. Did i worry when i had my venti mocha frapuccino today! no way! i ahve already put in 8 hours of exercise this week, and i will be doing a least another one before this day is over! i probably have burned off a couple pounds just from exercise alone! i am sore as all can be right now but it feeeels soooo gooood. ask mikezorr if you need more inspiration. although i think he eats cleaner than me. I indulge a few times a week, but nothing tooo crazy. No fast food for me though. i mean i'll eat at a cook to order restaurant but any of the other stuff.... nope. I would do wendy's every once in a while, but thinking about it. i have not done a single fast food resturan this year! no fries for me baby. anyway i am rambling..
 
I really don't do fast food that often... it's usually Taco Bell once every few weeks and McDonald's some Tuesday morning. Actually, before I started taking my daughter to Story Time at the library, I wouldn't take my wife to work that often even on Tuesdays, so I almost never ate out. As for other restaurants, I mostly cook dinner. I can't remember the last time we went out to a place other than Taco Bell.

I could work out in the mornings, and I have been considering it. I don't really have a problem waking up, but I tend to stay up too late to make 5am an easy option. Since my wife leaves for work at 6:30am, it's 5am workout or evening workout, period. I have actually done quite a bit of 9 or 10pm stuff in the last few weeks, which I don't mind as much as I thought I would. I still sleep okay.

Still, I prefer a morning workout, for sure. If I can go to bed early a few nights in a row, I should be in good shape to start waking up early.

Actually, screw that. I'll do it tomorrow. Then, it'll be easy to go to bed early tomorrow night. ;)

Lunch was the same couscous/chickpea/tomato stuff I had yesterday for lunch, and dinner is going to be some healthy chicken pad thai. My only snacks today have been Otter Pops, which are 15 calories a pop, but I've had like 10 of em.... They are refreshing, and it's sooo hot....
 
mmmm...pad thai. Man I haven't had that since uni.

I'm also trying to start the early morning routine. Didn't quite get up yesterday (tried and failed), and I forgot to set my alarm earlier this morning. Hope you have more luck!
 
It's not hot here yet, nor will it be for a while to come, and it sure won't get as hot here as it does there. So right now I am spending as much time outside as possible, mainly walking. I'm getting as much outdoor time as possible before the mosquitoes show up.

I'm kind of a night owl, and a late workout would appeal to me more than getting up early does. I have done workouts before bed and they help me sleep deeply.
But if you can get going early in the morning, go for it. Cooler out, not as many people in the gym, its all good.
 
Well, I managed to get up and get to the gym by 5:15am. I did 30 minutes on an elliptical and then came home and showered. I was really tired, cuz I didn't sleep well for two reasons: I was hot all night, and I was worried about missing my alarm. Anyway, my alarm went off, and I went back to sleep... until my wife told me to get up if I want to work out. So I did. :)

I'm starving, so I think I'll have some raisin bran.
 
Thanks for the post, Feenix. I've been... okay. I haven't yo-yo'd.... but I'm stagnating. I find myself making poor choices more often (eating seconds, snacking on bad stuff, mini-binges), but it's nothing compared to two months ago. Still, I feel like it's a slippery slope. I need to find a way to recharge my will to do this every day. Any ideas, anyone?
 
Dude! I thought we'd lost you! Glad to see you!

Exclamation points are fun!!!

Stagnation happens. I'm in a bit of a slump myself. Maybe it is natural around this point in the journey.

You were going strong. You can go strong again.
Look back at your earlier posts and see the fire and determination I saw there.
Look at the progress you have made and understand that it can keep going.
Don't dwell on your recent difficulties; just get back on track. It never helps to beat ourselves up about what we did wrong.
Make a change in your routine to kick-start yourself. A new activity, different food, something.
Every day is a new day. Every day is another chance to get it right.

We're here for ya.
 
I've been doing a little thinking about this whole thing we call weight loss.

For me, I think I'm mostly struggling with a few tangential things that are seriously hindering my ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I'll ramble about them for awhile, and you can give me feedback.

I've been thinking about why I'm fat in the first place. I'm not sure I have a good answer for that yet, but I've been fat since third grade or so. I mean, the obvious answer is that I've always eaten too much and haven't exercised enough. But why? I'm not really an emotional eater, but I do feel like I'm addicted to food. I have read a bit about food addiction, and I identify with a lot of the symptoms. I enjoy eating well and living a healthy lifestyle, but then I end up binging. I'm like a heroin addict relentlessly pursuing their fix. The logic center of my brain pretty much shuts down, and I feel euphoric when I eat. Before and after, I can calmly talk about how I eat too much and how I don't even get anything out of it and how I'm going to quit.... until the next episode.

I eat when I'm bored. I eat while I read or play video games. If there's no snack food around, I usually don't snack much. However, I will often eat far too much at meals, cuz once I've started eating, I have trouble stopping. I will sometimes eat lunch early and then end up eating lunch again a few hours later.

What I keep coming back to is that, while there are physiological components to my weight problem, the reason I can't overcome them is because of the strong psychological components. I look at the advice on this forum, and it's all so simple and practical on the surface. But in reality, most people on here end up never losing the weight. They struggle and they get cheered on, but then they have a few "I'm struggling" posts and then they disappear entirely. I almost did it these past few weeks.

I think that most of us have gotten fat over several years or decades through behavior that's very ingrained in our psyche. We drink more water and we try to work out and eat right.... But it's not like we didn't do those things because of some vacuum in our habits that will be instantly filled by this sage advice. I feel like I'm trying to wallpaper over termite damage.


Everything I've said comes back to one issue for me: I lack self-discipline. All the logic and advice in the world doesn't mean jack to me, because when push comes to shove, my lack of discipline means I'll crap out all too soon. I don't mean to get all self-fulfilling prophecy on ya, but it's true. It's not just weight-loss, either. Every failure in my life comes down to a crippling lack of discipline.

So, I feel like the weight isn't going to come off until I can address the discipline issue.... And practically, the best way to address the discipline issue is to build it up like a muscle: do little exercises and practice discipline, gradually increasing the difficulty as my discipline improves. But even that will fail if I don't address the psychological issues surrounding my problems.

Something's gotta change.



Sigh... I hate this feeling.
 
Okay, I'm over-thinking this. I'm just going to make one change and stick to it for a month. It'll be a really simple change: I'm going to drink more water. Specifically, I'm going to drink 96oz of water a day. That's 8 12-oz glasses, 6 16-oz glasses or half-liter bottles, 12 cups, 6 pints, 3 quarts, or 3/4 gallon of water. At the same time, I'm going to just not buy snack food and try not to eat stupidly. I'll cook dinners from scratch like I always do. I'll eat leftovers for lunch, or sandwiches if there aren't any. I'll have raisin bran or scrambled eggs for breakfast, depending on how I feel. Everything but the water is basically what I've been doing minus the occasional binge that has happened lately. I'll go work out if I feel like it, but for now, WATER.

Water.

That's it. Let's see how that affects my mood/energy level. Stupid food science fads come and go, but you just can't go wrong with water.
 
My friend, I understand everything you have just said.

Do you think we would be the size we are if there wasn't some psychological component to our eating? It's never as simple as "I eat too much and don't exercise enough." There is always the question of WHY we do what we do.

I think a very high proportion of people on these boards would agree that there was a mental component to their weight gain. I won't say we all suffer from some sort of psychological attachment to food, but I imagine that it is the case for most of us.

Food addiction - it is not a matter of weakness or lack of self-discipline. When I was a psych major back in the day, I focussed on the psychology of addiction. It's a real thing. Don't let anyone tell you it is just because you are weak. The fact that you are trying to fight your ingrained impulses and habits is a sign of strength.
You don't want to eat like this anymore. You want to change. I don't subscribe to the 12-step mentaility, but it is true that recognising the problem and the need to change it is the critical first step. You've already done that. Now you have to figure out how to follow through with it.

I'm not going to have answers for you. But I will share something that you may find useful.
You have been big most of your life, right? That means the eating behaviour started back then. There was some reason you turned to food for comfort.
Ask yourself this: are the conditions of my life the same now as when I was a kid (or teenager, or whenever you began to gain weight)? If not, then maybe the behaviours you developed then are not what you need anymore. This sounds trite, I know, but what I am saying is that maybe the void you had in your life back then that you filled with food (just speculating here) isn't really there anymore? And now the food is just an ingrained habit.

I'm suspect that my own overeating stemmed from a lack of something (love? affection? attention?) in my own early life.
Now I think "do I lack any of these things now? Hell, no. So, is the behaviour I used to adapt to my situation still useful? Or am I just in a habit of overeating that is tough (very tough) to break?"

Discipline - it isn't something you have or don't have, I think. The essence of discipline is going on even when you don't really want to, or are afraid. It also isn't a matter of all or none. These things take steps. Each day we work at it, and do the best we can. We are not going to stand up one day (not most of us, anyway) and say "I'm never going to eat badly again and I am goign to get 2.5 hours of exercise every day untilt he end of time". It doesn't work that way.

In the Star Trek episode "A Taste of Armageddon", Kirk explains how a savage species like humans can be civilised. He says, we accept that we are predators, but that "we aren't going to kill - today." And we make that decision every day.

So, try that. "I'm not going to binge - today. I'm going to get some activity in - today." Maybe that way you can break your ingrained behaviours.

Maybe I am just rambling. Maybe this will not be of any use to you at all. I hope that it helps in some way.
 
Okay, I'm over-thinking this. I'm just going to make one change and stick to it for a month. It'll be a really simple change: I'm going to drink more water. Specifically, I'm going to drink 96oz of water a day. That's 8 12-oz glasses, 6 16-oz glasses or half-liter bottles, 12 cups, 6 pints, 3 quarts, or 3/4 gallon of water. At the same time, I'm going to just not buy snack food and try not to eat stupidly. I'll cook dinners from scratch like I always do. I'll eat leftovers for lunch, or sandwiches if there aren't any. I'll have raisin bran or scrambled eggs for breakfast, depending on how I feel. Everything but the water is basically what I've been doing minus the occasional binge that has happened lately. I'll go work out if I feel like it, but for now, WATER.

Water.

That's it. Let's see how that affects my mood/energy level. Stupid food science fads come and go, but you just can't go wrong with water.


Sounds like a plan!
 
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