Rottengirl is bringingsexybac!! Getting focussed! Need support!

B

bringingsexybac

New member
Alright well I came back on with a new name. Why the new name? I am not trying to be sneaky or go against the rules or anything... hopefully this has not broken any protocol? I just wanted a new name to really give me the determination of what I am aiming for!

If you don't know me.. I was on here from last summer until Christmas. I lost almost 30 pounds, went on a tropical holiday, indulged a bunch and then... just kept eating crappy.

I am now back up to 205.6 and am just so pissed off at myself. I really found this website helpful in the fall and I think that if people will have me back, I could be a good support to others as well? I joined several challenges in the Fall which helped me to stay on track. This is a great site!!!

Along with eating poorly, I started smoking again. Wow...I don't feel stressed?:eek:

This week marked a new beginning for me. I got up Monday morning, worked out, ate healthy all day, haven't smoked since Tuesday. I have been focussing on eating healthier and working out each day. Monday I took a group of students on a major hike in the mountains... It just about killed me! It was a lot of work, and I was so embarassed by how winded I was, and how slow I was going.

Yesterday was a bit of a test, found myself very busy and wanting to snack... I think it's more busy snacking then stress snacking... didn't do too poorly but not great either.

I really need to embrace this new lifestyle and get it together because I want to be healthy and feel better about myself.

When I get to this weight, (and believe me I have been here SO MANY TIMES!) it affects everything in my life. I don't feel good physically or emotionally. It affects my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend. I've noticed lately that my sex drive is down a bit because I don't feel sexy.

Looking forward to hooking up with some old friends and meeting some new ones!
Rottengirl is bringingsexybac! :eek:

Paulette
 
Welcome back beautiful :)

you know the door is always open for you.. glad you came home to us :)

Been wondering what you were up to -I figured you loved Cuba somuch youo snuck back and were living the tanned life in ahammock on a beach :) i was plannig a visit soon :)

Focus now - you know what you need to do .. Let's get it done :)
 
Ooooo...I wanna live a tanned life in a hammock on some beach!!

Good to see you back and posting, and I like the new name change - I hated calling you rotten girl!!
 
Howdy Paulette,
Welcome back,I was thinking the same to that you my when back to Cuba to soak up some more sun! Congrats on getting back up and eating healthy and working out and trying to quit smoking.You can do it,youv'e done so great in the past and your going to do good in the future.Hope you have a nice day Tammy
 
what a week to try and focus on this weight stuff....
Having a very busy week at work. I am the school counsellor and we are enrolling students for next year... So we are doing visits to our feeder schools, meetings with parents, and registrations with current students. Plus I am focussing on helping kids that are in grade 12 get thier transcripts and credits for their post secondary institutions... All of this I can handle, it's my personal life that is causing me a lot of grief.
I have an amazing boyfriend who has treated me like gold for a year and half. He is wonderful, kind, sweet, respectful etc.etc.etc...
We have been together a year and half and have been sitting on the 'next step' fence for a while. We have both been married before and have been divorced. We both believed that love could conquer all with our previous spouses. I see the beauty in our current relationship and all the good stuff that we have, and I am ready to go to the next step with him. He, on the other hand, is terrified. He does not want to be divorced again. He has seriously talked about going for counselling for himself to figure this stuff out on his own because he says he knows how great I am, and he is not sure why he can't just 'do it'. He is so afraid.
I am so torn up about this because I know that we are perfect for each other, I have never in my life been in such a respectful, caring, mature, and loving relationship. We both treat each other so well and are completely committed to each other.
I am finding it difficult to stay away from the snacks and the smokes this week because we are in a place of limbo between us. We are doing a lot of talking and a lot of soul searching...
A large part of me is sure that we will get through this, and it will make us stronger but another part of me is just terrified that I will lose him.
Do I sound desperate or what? yuck...
The anonymity of this site allows me to vent about this. I don't want to share this with too many of my 'people' in my life. I don't want anyone to have a negative idea about him because he is struggling through this. Everyone thinks he is so great, and it may sound silly but I don't want to taint that because he is great... he's just scared.
Okay I am done... sorry about the stupid girl stuff.
P
 
Well I feel good that this morning I did a weigh in. I did not look at the scale all week! That was a bit of a change for me. I used to look EVERY day.
Well I was pleasantly suprised to have lost 3 pounds!!
I didn't have the greatest week with eating and emotions etc... but three pounds is a great kick off point for restarting this whole thing again!
YAY me!
 
YAY!!! Good Bye 3lbs!! Don't you come back no more! :D

You are doing great getting back on track. I know life throws us those curve balls .We got to learn how to pass on by them. You are doing Good and Stay Positive!! You deserve this.

Now, I read that you're ready for the "next Step". In my opinion just take your time. If you both know your right for eachohter then there is no rush. It has to come naturally. If the subject is pushed on eachother and when it finally happens then in the back iof your minds you'll always wonder if you did because you were preasured. Enjoy eacother now. Good luck to you!! Stay strong.:D
 
Thanks for the support guys! Yes I feel good about the three pounds!

Re: the next step... well the only pressure that we are giving each other is his own fear of 'doing the right thing' I am not pressuring him to ask me or anything. He is pressuring himself. He has made a decision on his own to go to counselling to sort this stuff out from his baggage of his past marriage etc. That means a lot to me, very few men are willing to go to counselling, especially on their own. I am proud of him and I know he is such a good guy, this too shall pass...
Thanks Jelly Belly for your words of wisdom!
 
you're a good woman if he's willing to do that for you :) that's awesome.. sounds like you're both making some pretty impressive life changes :)

way to go :)
 
Well I am down another pound and a half! That is so amazing considering the week that I have had.
Things are still pretty tense with the boyfriend. It's not great, and I'm not sure where it will go.
We also had a huge week at school. We had a major threat made by a student to the staff at our school. It was an anonymous threat and was taken very seriously due to the anniversary of Columbine etc. Because I am the school counsellor I was the lead questioner along with the police in interviewing kids. The 'date' has past as to when things were supposed to have happened. So the anxiety of the week has started to wind down... but yikes talk about stress!
Anyway I am really trying to remain focussed on the working out/eating healthy stuff. I know how important that is in the face of all the stressors. I need to get my heart healthy and my body healthy. Getting into a rutt with food and no exercise, will not help me through any of this crap... I know that!
Actually working out is helping me to feel better about myself. Due to struggles with the bf, my self esteem could be taking a punch.. but the working out is helping...
Keeping my chin up!:D
 
you're getting so close to one-derland - way to go :)

If things with the boyfriend are meant to be -they will work themselves out... there's really only so much you can do...

sounds like a pretty scary time at your school - well done getting thru it down 1 1/2 lbs :)

Spend more time here - we'll remind you of your awesomeness -no reason for your self esteem to suffer :)

hang in there, pretty lady :D
 
Another thing that I am really proud of is that I haven't smoked this whole ugly stressful week either!
15 DAYS SMOKE FREE! :cool:

This is my time to look out for me!!! I will do it this time despite all the stressors and ugliness!!
 
maybe you have stressness but i doubt very highly you have uglyness hun! you got to believe in your body to be able to do this journey - respect your body and it will get healthier .. you ve got have love for it.
congrats on kicking the habit - you will feel so much better for it and also YOU WILL LIVE LONGER :D that is a definite advantage xx
 
way to go Paulette :) 15 days is monumental :) you should be so proud of yourself of all the positive changes you're making for yourself :) yay you :)
 
O Sophie you are sweet... I wasn't saying that the uglyness was me or my body... I was saying that I had uglyness in my life right now with the yucky things going on at school, and the yucky things going on with my bf. right now..
Yeah Mal, I feel good about the no smoking thing too.
Like I said, really trying to keep my chin up!!
P
 
Howdy Paulett,
WOW your kicking 2 habbits to the curb!
Thats hard to do usually we trade 1 bad habbit for another
but congrats on nipping all in the bud.Keep up the gre8 work
and looky 3 lbs until wonderland.**CELEBRATION**Have a gr8
day Tammy
 
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