Rob's Diary

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bensanon

Active member (Rob)
OK, here goes.

I'm 39, 6'1'', and 254 pounds.

Today, for breakfast, I had:
- 1 cup muesli (Alpen)
- 1 cup kefir (Lifeway)
- 2 scrambled eggs
- 2 multivitamins
Total calories: 473

I'm in pretty good cardio shape because I run a lot. I don't have any medical conditions other than obesity and some anxiety and depression. I used to take medication for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, and cholesterol but I'm off all medication now. The medication is what led to massive weight gain. I've been as heavy as 330 pounds. In the last year, I've lost about 80 pounds. I've been successful at dieting before (lost 90 pounds about 8 years ago) but was not able to keep it off also because of the medication. I don't drink alcohol and I don't drink or eat anything with caffeine in it other than decaf coffee and occasionally or during binges, chocolate.

The biggest struggles I have now are binge eating on take out food and maintaining energy and motivation. Wrt the energy and motivation, I'm just doing it wrong. I know it and I need to work on understanding and implementing better ways.

I'm hoping to work it all out here with support from others here. I'd like to offer my support to others as well. Support and having others to talk to about this helps me tremendously. I don't have much of that type of support elsewhere my life right now.

My goal weight is 189 pounds and to lose the weight over the next 7 months (by the end of 2019). Ideally it would be faster but based on my history and previous attempts, I am trying to be realistic.
 
To answer some of these questions for more background...


Your diary — How it works

The diary is an invaluable aid in reaching your target-weight. Putting your goals in writing will motivate you tremendously in achieving them. That’s the success secret of weight-loss groups — and what works in these groups will work just as well on the Internet.

Try the following tips:

1. Answer these questions before starting your diary.

-- How much weight do you want to lose?
65 pounds

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
7-8 months

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
Support; reduced calorie, clean healthy, consistent diet; exercise; good sleep hygiene and rest; self-care.

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
Family, friends, research knowledge, goals, determination, consistency.

-- How realistic is your goal?
It's a little aggressive but feasible.

-- When will you start?
May 1, 2019

(Suggestion: print this page and think about the questions when you have a few moments of peace and quiet.)

2. Post the answers to these questions in your weight-loss.fitness.com diary. This exercise will make your goals come to life and feel more realistic.

3. Begin your own diary. Simply click on the “New Thread” button, put your name and “diary” in the subject field (e.g., “Sandra’s diary”) and type your goals into the message box. Make sure to include your starting weight — be honest, it will help you and other members.
Starting weight: 254 pounds

4. Stick to it! Once you begin your diary, you’ve already accomplished a huge step toward your target weight — but you must use it regularly. It’s wise to write in your diary on a daily basis, especially at the beginning of the process. Record successes and failures. Ask other members for advice and share your feelings. You’ll notice how helpful and supportive your diary will become.



Other questions you might want to consider answering in your diary, to get you started, and avoid that white page writer's block are: (stolen shameless from Geam's diary)
  1. What is your current height and weight?
    254, 6'1''
  2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
    189
  3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
    220
  4. Why do you want to lose weight?
    for my health
  5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
    all of them
  6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
    stress, being too rigid
  7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
    medication, stress, being too rigid
  8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
    I have made most of them but primarily, it would be a low stress job
  9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
    Yes, I ate primarily raw foods and it was discipline, support and consistency
  10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
    I gained it back because of the medication and a stressful relationship
  11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
    I didn't have the lifestyle changes implemented that I do now. I have a renewed focus on my health and I don't take medication anymore
  12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
    Today, for breakfast, I had:- 1 cup muesli (Alpen)
    - 1 cup kefir (Lifeway)
    - 2 scrambled eggs
    - 2 multivitamins
    Total calories: 473
  13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
    Just a little. Lots of grilled chicken, some fish, vegetables, turkey burgers.
  14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
    Wrap/sandwich place; mediterranean place; taco place (unhealthy choice); rib place (unhealthy)
  15. What are your three favorite foods?
    Pizza, bread, pasta, BBQ ribs and brisket, cheesecake; I don't plan on eating anymore of these though; trying to cut them out for good because they're unhealthy
  16. What are your three favorite restaurants?
    Fuzzy's Taco
    Earl's Rib
    Coolgreens
  17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
    Cook healthy meals
    Stop bingeing
    Eat a bigger breakfast
    Stop eating too much in the evenings
    Eat more smaller portions, more often
  18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
    Gut fat gone, more muscle
  19. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
    Yes, emotional eating and grazing
  20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
    Oh yeah
  21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
    Yes
  22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
    Yes, all of the above
  23. Do you eat as a reward?
    Yes after a good workout for sure
  24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
    Yes
  25. What do you normally eat for a meal?
    Lots of chicken, nuts and seeds, salads, fish, turkey, yogurt, fruit, veges
  26. What type of snacks do you eat?
    Yogurt with nuts or seeds or fruit; popcorn; just nuts; right now string cheese
  27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
    Running
  28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
    Local gym
  29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
    Running, running, and running; sometimes swimming
  30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
    My personal health
  31. Do you have rewards for certain goals?
    No

The team at weight-loss.fitness.com wishes you the best of luck in reaching your goals!
 
Hi Bensanon and welcome to the forum! Having a place to rant, put your thoughts together, and get support is extremely valuable.
What are you doing to keep from binging?
 
Hi LaMaria, Thanks for the welcome! I'm glad I found this place. It looks like there's some good information here with a bit of a support base and the space to get it out and work through it will definitely help. I don't know about the binging, really. That's a good question. I have been successful for stretches of time at eliminating it so I was just going to "power through". I know that's probably not a very good plan but it's an addiction and harmful and I need to quit and I think I'm at the "cold turkey" point. Do you have any thoughts or ideas? I haven't searched the threads here yet but am going to. It's the biggest threat to my success but I've come this far and it's still with me.
 
Today, for lunch, I had:
- 1 turkey burger (BUBBA)
- 2 slices flax sprouted bread (Ezekial 4:9)
- 1 slice red onion
- 1 teaspoon horseradish mustard (store brand)
- 1 slice swiss cheese (store brand)
- 2 chicken breasts (store brand)
- 2.5 servings vegetable medley (store brand)
Total calories: 778

Forgot from breakfast:
- 2 cups instant decaf coffee (store brand)
Total calories: 4

I'm probably not going to keep up this rate of posting about my meals. I'll probably post about all 3 meals at the end of the day or the following day and they may not be as detailed except the calorie amounts should be accurate.

I'm already running out of steam in anticipation but I'm heading for the gym and that should help.
 
I have two big binge triggers: not eating enough (protein, fat, calories) during mealtimes and unresolved negative emotions. I´m doing much better on the first part but definitely still working on the second. I find the gym really motivating in general but I do get very hungry afterward!
 
Welcome to the forum, Rob! It looks like you are off to a good start. You've got a plan in place and you're starting a diary... both of which are extremely helpful in getting to your goals!

As for posting meals... I think that over time, you will figure out what works for you in terms of coming here to post. Many people just come on once per day and post it all at once. Some people take notes on their phones or in a notebook so that they don't forget things that they've consumed (like a coffee break latte or muffin!).
 
LaMaria, I can definitely say that my weight loss journey hasn't been just about counting calories either. That's for sure. I wish it was just that simple for me! We're complex and all sorts of things can impact us emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

Thanks for the welcome and the helpful tip, PLB!

Thanks both of you for posting here today, too! :)
 
For snacks today I had:
- 1 chocolate chip protein bar (Rx Bar)
- 2 clementines
Total calories: 300

For dinner I ate:
- 1.5 servings baby carrots
- 1 cup non-fat Greek yogurt (Chobani)
- 1 serving almonds
- 1 serving pistachios
Total calories: 482

Total calories consumed for 4-30-19: 2042

Exercise:
- 3.5 miles run on treadmill (treadmill says 927 calories burned)
- 2 miles walking
Total steps: 17,500

Fitbit total calories burned: 4,362
MFP calories burned: 3,530
I'm hoping these are over estimates because a 1500 calorie deficit is pretty steep.

There is usually a lot of discrepancy between Fitbit and MFP and the calories from the treadmill. I would like to understand these better so I can come up with a reliable calorie deficit each day for the weight loss. I will probably need input from others on this or to search the forum for a discussion about it. I will also need to work out my BMR and I have some resources for that I'll post about.
 
Back in my WW days we were "allowed" 50 calories extra for every kilometer walked or run. That's probably a conservative estimate but it tends to work for me when I'm going hiking. I think your numbers are as high as they are because you're moving quite a bit of mass at the moment. If you count your calories religuously for two weeks and compare those to your weightloss you should get a pretty good idea of what's realistic.
 
4-30-19 sleep: 6h15min (not ideal)

Yesterday after lunch I felt sluggish and sleepy.

5-1-19 weight: 251 pounds

5-1-19 breakfast:
- 2 scrambled eggs
- 2 tsp instant decaf coffee (store brand)
- 1 banana
- 1 cup strawberries
- 0.6 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
Total calories: 495

I’d like to get a pretty accurate exercise calorie count because I want it to be an important part of my weight loss. Today perhaps it was “water weight” that I lost (3 pounds)? This morning I feel good though as if I had been eating too much in recent days. I think it will catch up with me in the coming days so will try to protect against that. I’ll to get the balance worked out in the beginning and I really appreciate the space here to be able to do it.
 
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5-1-19 lunch:
- 1 turkey burger (BUBBA)
- 2 slices flax sprouted bread (Ezekial 4:9)
- 1 slice red onion
- 1 teaspoon horseradish mustard (store brand)
- 1 slice swiss cheese (store brand)
- black beans with onion, tomatoes, jalapeños
- nonfat Greek yogurt
Total calories: 835
 
:D That's a BIG lunch, but as far as I can tell you need the calories so well done getting them in in a healthy way.
 
:D That's a BIG lunch, but as far as I can tell you need the calories so well done getting them in in a healthy way.

Do you think it's too big?? It was basically a turkey burger sandwich with a big bowl of black beans with some yogurt in it. I am exercising a lot and haven't figured out the best way to incorporate the calories I burn. I feel like I should warn you and others of potential triggers too. It might get a lot worse when I'm fighting off cravings and binges. During a binge, I can eat several times that or more. :eek2:
 
To add to breakfast:
- 2 Medjool dates
- 2 multivitamins
No change in calories

5-1-19 dinner:
- quinoa salad (Zoe's Kitchen)
- power grain bowl (Zoe's Kitchen)
Total calories (from the website): 700

5-1-19 snacks:
- 1 serving pistachios
- 1 chocolate sea salt protein bar (Rx Bar)

Total calories consumed for 5-1-19: 2391

Exercise:
- 4.5 miles run on treadmill (treadmill says 1416 calories burned)
- 2.5 miles walking
- 3 sets shoulder press
- 3 sets chest press
Total steps: 21,100

Fitbit total calories burned: 5064
MFP calories burned: 4088
This would mean a deficit of either 1700 or 2700 which are both huge. I'll take a closer look at this issue soon. Both the lunch and dinner felt like a lot but I ate them anyway because of the exercise. I'm not sure I ate enough and wonder if it'll catch up with me in a day or two. I otherwise felt pretty good today but am physically tired tonight.
 
Do you think it's too big?? It was basically a turkey burger sandwich with a big bowl of black beans with some yogurt in it. I am exercising a lot and haven't figured out the best way to incorporate the calories I burn.
Not at all. I just have a hard time eating large enough portions (unless it's liquid/melty stuff like chocolate or icecream, where I know no limits) so I marvel at people who find it easy.

Both the lunch and dinner felt like a lot but I ate them anyway because of the exercise. I'm not sure I ate enough and wonder if it'll catch up with me in a day or two. I otherwise felt pretty good today but am physically tired tonight.
Is how you're eating now very different from how you were eating before? If you're used to getting a good chunk of your calories from binging spreading your food intake out more will feel like you're suddenly eating a whole lot.
Also: if you didn't exercise this much so far be sure to incorporate rest days. Overtraining is another common and powerful binge trigger.
 
5-1-19 sleep: 6h45min (still hoping for more)

5-2-19 weight: 250 pounds

5-2-19 breakfast:
- 1/3 cup muesli (Alpen)
- 1/3 cup kefir (Lifeway)
- 2 scrambled eggs
- 2 multivitamins
- 0.6 cup yogurt
- 0.9 cup strawberries
- 1 serving pistachios
- fiber supplement
- 3.5 cups decaf instant coffee
Total calories: 556

This morning I felt really good running errands. The diet is good. It will just be a matter of maintaining that level of nutrition and exercise with the reduced sleep. Still working on working out as much as I can here in the beginning.
 
Is how you're eating now very different from how you were eating before? If you're used to getting a good chunk of your calories from binging spreading your food intake out more will feel like you're suddenly eating a whole lot.
Also: if you didn't exercise this much so far be sure to incorporate rest days. Overtraining is another common and powerful binge trigger.

I've been eating and exercising similarly in recent weeks except now, yes, I'm trying to make my breakfasts and lunches bigger to help reduce the cravings and potential for binges in the evenings. I hope to avoid overexercising moving forward but it has been part of the problem. The medication I was on really messed me up and I've been off it now for about 8.5 months and things are slowly improving still.
 
As long as you´re feeling good and losing weight at a reasonable pace, you must be doing something right!
 
Using this equation (A new predictive equation for resting energy expenditure in healthy individuals. - PubMed - NCBI) my resting energy expenditure is:

REE = 9.99 * 113.40 + 6.25 * 185.42 - 4.92 * 39 + 166 * 1 - 161 = 2104.86 (Mifflin-St Jeor equation)

If I try and figure this out from my Fitbit (Solved: where can i find my fitbit calculated BMR - Fitbit Community), I see that I burn about 7 calories every 5 minutes while sleeping so this would be 7*5*24 = 2016

I'm really uncertain about the best way to estimate my calories burned from exercise though. One estimate might be what LaMaria mentioned: 50 calories per km walked or run.

On 4-30-19 I walked and ran about 4.94 miles or 7.9 km. That is 395 calories. The treadmill said it was 927 calories. 395 is 43% of what the treadmill said. I didn't try to track the calories using my Fitbit.

I'll work more on this later ...
 
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