Renee's Rambling

renee123082

renee123082

New member
So, here I am about to start an actual weight loss journal. I have a health blog on another site where I rant and rave about being fat and I post the occasional article in between rants... but I think it might help to keep a journal here because people might actually read this, whereas nobody reads my blog!

So anyway...

The last time I looked at my weight I was about 310 pounds. Not fun at all. I'm here because I feel I have to make some massive changes in my life or I will be doomed to an early death. I feel very restricted in my body because of my weight. I can't do things I want to do. I used to love playing basketball and swimming and hiking, but my body is at a point where a 20 minute walk leaves me in pain. A couple weeks ago I attempted to start exercising with the "Walk Away the Pounds" video. It is the equivalent of a mile walk and seemed really good for beginners... during the first day it felt really good and I actually did it twice that day, but the second day I got a side stich from hell about half way through and couldn't continue... then the third day the same thing happened so I gave up. I don't know what to do. I feel very much at a loss and quite defeated. I've been trying to read some motivational things over the past couple of days, but nothing seems to be helping and I don't know what to do about the side stitch even if I could find the motivation to exercise. Yesterday I binged like a mad woman all day. I hate it when I do that! But it's like once it starts it becomes uncontrollable. I've tried keeping food journals before of everything I'm eating and when and what I'm feeling, but for some reason that doesn't seem to help. I'm feeling like maybe I'm just too far gone. Maybe I can't loose weight. I've tried so many times before and the only thing that ever worked was more unhealthy than being fat. If anyone reads this and has been in the same place I'm in and has gotten out of it, please share your story... and if anyone anywhere has any suggestions to help, please share them. I need all the help I can get.

:( :eek:
 
I just tried doing a 20 minute work out. I got half way through again before the side stitch kicked in. Maybe I'll do the other half later. I just don't understand that side stitch thing. I stretch before I start to work out and the work out starts very slow so its not like I'm overexerting anything too quickly (I wouldn't think anyway). It's frustrating.
 
hi renee - welcome to wlf :)
i read somewhere that side stitch is caused because of pressure on the pancreas and exhaling when you put your right foot down if youre walking or jogging can increase this pressure. i used to have trouble with stitch but now i have a breathing pattern where i breathe in for three counts (right foot, left foot, right foot) then breate out for three counts (left foot , right foot, left foot,) ive found it really helps as it minimises the amount of times i have to exhale whilst my right foot is forward.
just keep at it girl - you will see results soon :)
 
yes you CAN do it. there are people here who are a living proof you CAN do it. and you coming on this site and exercising shows some determination. so let me congratulate you on making a decision to live (you don't want to face an early death). i think that is probably the best motivation there is. and you will be supported on your way. read through some journals, stick around for a while and you'll find even more inspiration.
sophie is probably right, and that side stich might be because of breathing, but i would advise you to call your doctor and inform him about these things. for now the important thing is that you are moving. just go one day at a time. it will be a long process, there will be days you will want to quit. but those get beaten by days when you feel good and proud about yourself cause you have exercised, you have eaten healthy and you were doing something FOR YOURSELF!

For the moment start writing what you eat and be honest with yourself. keeping it online might help (you can try right?).
so, remember its one day at a time and believe me you can do it!

Lena
 
I so admire the people on here who have made changes, who have gotten fit, who have lost tons and tons of weight! I've now skimmed through at least 7 pages of before and after photos. I think I need to look at those every day to keep in mind that weight loss is definitely possible and if other people can do it, then darn it I can too!
 
Hi Renee,
I want to welcome you to the WLF :D

Getting started is so hard - and when you're looking down the barrel of a lot of weight to lose, it can seem so defeating and overwhelming.

HOWEVER, you CAN do it!

I firmly believe that weightloss is 90% diet at least in the early stages.

Start with where you are, and make small but sustainable changes that you can live with. Drink more water, pick fresh snacks where you can - binge like crazy on strawberries, cherry tomatoes, carrots, frozen grapes.

If you haven't aready check them out, and are both good sites for tracking calories, nutrition and fitness.

At your weight, you could eat probably 10-12 calories per pound of body weight and still lose weight and not starve yourself.

If you restrict yourself too much, you'll set yourself up for binging and feeling like you've failed.

You CAN do this - take it one pound, one day or one meal at a time - whatever it takes to keep you focused on your goals.

Remember, your starting weight is not who you are, but a snapshot of your outside self at one point in time. Working towards changing that snapshot is a wonderful gift you're giving yourself!
 
Hey Renee,

Like everyone else has said before me, YES you can lose the weight. As a morbid obese man, I had/have many of the same thoughts and feelings as you do. But my desire for life, to live, to start a family and really expierence life is what drives me everyday. I bust my ass six days a week and all the time I'm thinking of how great it's going to be when I achieve my goal.

I'm often on that treadmill at 3.1 MPH for 60 minutes hiding my face because I don't want others to see the tears. Tears from all the years of being obese and all that emotion coming out as I look into the future and imagine how my life will be as a 'thin' man and not 'the fat guy'.

Hang in there, it's a long, hard, hard journey but you can do it.

Todd
 
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Thanks for the links m2m!

I went on the FitDay website and came up with this chart...



It seems like a reasonable enough goal to try to lose 2.47 lbs per week, but does anyone know if this is a good goal or is it too high or too low to be reasonable? Feedback?

The date is August 1, 2008 because that is when my current lease is up on my apartment and that is when I am moving to a new city and sort of starting a new life, so it seemed appropriate that my weight loss goals would coincide with that time frame...
 
Wow ILtodd... can I ask... how did you get started? At my fitness level, I find that a twenty minute workout exhausts me, let alone 60 minutes! How long did it take to build to where you are?

I completely understand about not wanting people to just look at your weight and judge you before getting to know you. I often aviod social situations because I can't stand all the judgement. It's quite sad actually... but damn it, by this time next year things will be different... for both of us! :)
 
Hi Renee,

I would suggest not focusing so much on needing to lose x amount of pounds a week - you'll find it will only drive you crazy. The higher your start point, the more you can safely lose when starting out - but the weekly loss isn't always consistent - even if you ate the same thing every week.

Also know that where ever you are on 01 August - you will be that much closer to your goal then you are today :)

Now...you wrote:
I often aviod social situations because I can't stand all the judgement. It's quite sad actually... but damn it, by this time next year things will be different... for both of us!
Click to expand...

I want you to look at my signature -

The future is NO place to put your better days

They start today my friend, not some mythical place called the future - or next year. They start today :)

YOU are worth NOT waiting to live
That goes to both you and Todd :)
 
I've only been at this for seven weeks now. I started on March 6th, 2007. As far as the exercise part, that started very, very slow. Before I could not even walk from one end of my local Target store, to the next. I would park my car and use the closest door just so I wouldn't have to walk the entire length of the store. My back KILLED me after walking very short distances. It was so bad that I thought I had back problems; when in fact I had front problems...a HUGE front problem :D

I started to walk around my block which is .30 of a mile. The first week I had to stop several times before making it around. By the third week I was up to four times around the block without stopping. It just snowballed from there.

I agree about the social situations. I'm so TIRED of being a shut-in and avoiding social events.

Todd
 
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Todd, in just seven weeks you've lost over 28 pounds! That's so awesome and inspiring! I hope I can make progress like that! :D


M2M, thank you for the reminder that we have to live for today. I just find it so difficult right now to keep that in mind when so many things in my life make me miserable! But that is a whole other issue! ...or maybe it's not. hmmmm...
 
Things I Want to Do

When I was a kid I used to love physical activity, but at my current weight, a lot of things seem impossible to do. So here is a small list of activities I want to work toward being able to do...

- Go swimming. I actually tried swimming last summer after years of refusing to get into a bathing suit and I found that I could not control my movement in the water and basically all I could really do was hold on to the side of the pool and float. That was quite discouraging, but also quite an eye opener.

- Play basketball. I can barely shoot hoops by myself at my fitness level. My body is so jiggly that it hurts to have to run after a ball. Again, discouraging, but an eye opener.

- Learn tennis. I have always wanted to learn to play tennis, but I've always been so intimidated by it because it seems like a sport where you have to use your entire body and I have never felt even remotely close to being fit enough to learn tennis.

- Go hiking. I remember as a child going hiking every time I went camping and I loved it, but the last time I did it, I got heat stroke (never go hiking on a 95 degree day without water!) and I haven't even attempted it since then. I'm not sure if the heat stroke detered me from trying again, or if I just never got around to it for the longest time, but the next time I wanted to go hiking again, I realized my body wouldn't let me.
 
Sophie335 said:
hi renee - welcome to wlf :)
i read somewhere that side stitch is caused because of pressure on the pancreas and exhaling when you put your right foot down if youre walking or jogging can increase this pressure. i used to have trouble with stitch but now i have a breathing pattern where i breathe in for three counts (right foot, left foot, right foot) then breate out for three counts (left foot , right foot, left foot,) ive found it really helps as it minimises the amount of times i have to exhale whilst my right foot is forward.
just keep at it girl - you will see results soon :)
Click to expand...

I've read that before too, but I guess I just have a difficult time with paying attention to which foot is down when I'm inhaling or exhaling. It seems like so much work to do just to walk. I'll try paying more attention to it! :)
 
Did My Workout

So, I just got through my whole 20 minute workout. Yay me! This time I went at my own pace instead of the pace they were doing in the video. It occured to me that I am just starting to do this exercise thing and it's more important right now just that I am moving than that I am moving at a fast pace. I looked at the people in the video and they weren't sweating or even breathing heavily... duh Renee! All these people are thin, fit, and lean, this video isn't even a work out for them! I'm not at that level (yet) and I need to be okay with starting slow. What's better was that I made it through with no side stitch! :D
 
Been a Good Weekend

It's been such a nice quiet weekend and I have spent tons of time reflecting and really thinking about what I want in my life. But tomorrow I start another work week. I hate my job. On weekends I'm at least somewhat motivated, but during the week I just want junk food and I'm so mentally exhausted from work that my body follows suit. Being miserable takes a lot out of a person. Before work I try to give myself plenty of quiet time because I know that I will have constant noise all day long, but as soon as I walk in the door at work on Sundays it's like a cloud has parked itself over my head and it follows me for the rest of the week. I've put in a bid to try to get my hours at work reduced, hopefully I'll find out this week if it was approved or not. Of course if it is approved, that is another can of worms I'll have to deal with, but at least I won't have to spend as much time at that job. So cross your fingers for me!

Hopefully this website and all of you can help keep me motivated through the week. If I can get through on week of exercising every day, I will have accomplished a ton! :)
 
don't worry we are here to support you. from what you just wrote you are an emotional eater. so am i. it was very difficult for me to stop making excuses for myself when i went on binging or eating like crazy. i would eat when i'm angry, upset, tired, nervous, bored, happy (lets celebrate with dinner), sad you name it...this is why i treat eating like learning to walk all over again. i try to reward myself with much better things (i have manicure or something), but also when i'm nervous, or when things get to me i vent here, i go to my workout, i walk, i chop veggies (i find that very relaxing actually) hehe.

so try to react to stress differently. also make yourself some healthy snacks, like carrot sticks, nuts, fruits, and if you have the urge to binge binge on them.
and vent :D i yell in my diary like crazy when i get stressed out hehe
 
yayy for not having side stitch - maybe it was pyschological?
keep at the working out girl! that weight will start dropping off in no time at all! when is your weigh in date? x
 
Hey Renee,
I study human physiology as part of my degree and the stitch comes from wrong breathing. You sort of trap air in your body and that hurts, because you are not breathing correctly. Just start at a slower pace, do it at your rythm, and once you got your breathing right the stitch won't come back! I promise!
I think you should maybe give swimming another chance later, when you feel fitter, because swimming forces you to breathe in a nice rythm and that is great for your lungs and for the breathing in other exercise!
I find that when I rollerblade I want to be fast, like my bf, so I go fast and after a few very fast meters I am exhausted and start to lose my rythm of breathing, of moving my feet etc... that is worth nothing for my general conditioning!
I think you can do it, every day try to find a happy thought in the morning (can be anything... when I was in school it was usually a Buffy episode in the evening...) that will get you through the day!
A big hug, xxMilaxx
 
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