(Re)new Journey

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A massive Mother's Day win for you!!! well done!! :)

Hope your leg feels better soon.

Enjoy the sunshine! it makes SUCH a difference, doesn't it!!
 
Thanks Cate and Delsid!

It has been quite a crazy week, but a good week. Tuesday and Wednesday I went for walk/runs outside because the weather was beautiful! Tuesday I ran the first mile and then for the rest of the 6 miles I ran half then walked half, alternating back and forth. Wednesday I ran the first 1.5 miles then alternated running and walking for the rest. Felt really great. My leg is still bothering me (over a week later), hoping it goes away soon. Thursday I did an hour of cardio at the gym and some abs. Today I am resting for a bit and then planning on hitting up the gym tonight.

Something that's been stressing me out (AGAIN) is the threat of going out to eat this weekend. It is a friend's birthday and we are possibly going out to eat on Saturday. I am all about celebrating things, but I also don't want to go crazy and ruin all of my hard work. I think I will try my best to order a salad and take it easy on the drinking. I have said that I just want to avoid going out to eat at all costs but I just don't know how that's possible without missing out on these social times.

Lastly, my weight first thing this morning was 157.1!!!! I have been dying to see a 157 because I remember 2 years ago when I saw that number on the scale after working hard, I was so excited and happy with my progress. This time around, I am equally as excited to see that number. I have been somewhat frustrated with the scale lately because I feel like it was stalled for a while, but now seems to have budged a bit. At least it's headed in the right direction.

For this weekend, hoping to get a solid gym visit in tonight, tomorrow I will most likely do a long walk/run, and Sunday whatever I feel like doing, perhaps Bikram? And like I said, trying to keep the drinking down and keep my eating in check. Have a great weekend everyone!
 
157? Excellent!
Just an idea- instead of having a salad when you go out, could you instead eat something more solid (like a steak or a grilled chicken breast if you eat red meat)? I find it helps absorb the alcohol. I can drink bubbly (never sweet) without it affecting the scales much. Don't be anxious about your night out Kakes- have fun!
 
Hi Cate! Are you recommending eating before I go or at the restaurant? I'm guessing you mean at the restaurant. The thing with that is I'm afraid of things like butter and stuff that they could potentially add to my meal. I think ordering a plain grilled chicken breast might be a bizarre request at a restaurant haha. Now that you mention steak, that does sound good and I haven't had red meat in probably 6 weeks.

I know I overthink this wayyyy too much and that "one meal won't ruin everything" but I really want to be able to find myself a balance and not freak every time I want or need to eat outside my house.
 
It's possibly too late to ring now, but I think it's a good idea to ring any restaurant that you will be dining at & asking them some questions. A lot of restaurants have their menu online. Even if you don't know beforehand, asking for any sauces or dressings on the side should never be a problem. Choosing a healthy option should never be frowned upon. It can be done, but sometimes we need to do some homework before dining out.
 
Excellent point Cate. I didn't even think of that-- looking/calling ahead. Well the good news is that I am no longer dining out today. My friend postponed until later this week or next week. I am, however, getting together with friends this evening and will be drinking. I hardly ever drink so I am not too worried about it.

I went for a run/walk earlier, at about noon. It was the best run I have had yet!! I ran the first 2.5 miles, first time I have done that outside. I have learned it is easier to run outside rather than on the treadmill. The other day I ran 1.5 miles outside so thats a whole mile longer. Progress!!! After that, I alternated between running and walking half miles, up to 6 miles. So in total, I ran 4 miles, and walked 2. Felt great the entire time. I'm so proud of myself for pushing it this far. I have always wanted to be a runner but always got discouraged because I move slowly and had no stamina. Well now I have continued to push myself and I keep improving my times and distances. I also did my fastest mile today--about 11 minutes (I don't remember the exact time and my phone isn't near me)! I was running 13 min miles on the treadmill so it has been so much more beneficial for me to run outside. It was close to 80 degrees today so I am pumped!

I hopped on the scale just now and got a 154.9. Ummm, what?! I think that low number is because I haven't had a lot of water today and I just came in from getting some sun outside. Either way, I like to see those lower numbers!

I am off to enjoy some time with friends. I am hoping to not go crazy with the drinking, for more reasons than one.
 
Thank you, Cate and Delsid. I had a great time last night and now today I am taking it easy. Giving myself some time to relax and watch a movie after having a long, crazy week. I will get up in a few minutes and run some errands before I go to the gym. I was thinking about running outside but the weather isn't looking too good at the moment.

This morning I hopped on the scale and it said 151.9. I was shocked. I didn't believe it so I stepped off and then back on again, but I got the same number. Very interesting how the numbers on the scale can jump around so much. Slowly learning to not be obsessed with the number for that exact reason.

Last night I saw one of my good friends who I haven't seen since early April. The first thing she said to me was that I looked really good. She asked me how many pounds I've lost so I told her about 15 pounds. She said she could tell I was working hard and that it was working. I was so happy that she took the time to tell me that because it made my day. It is not easy to workout and eat healthy but it is certainly worth it.
 
It is nice to have people notice your hard work. And feeling your body improve its performance is awesome, too, so go you!
 
Hey Kakes,

loved reading through your diary...congratulations on your massive progress these last months. Running/walks are my favorite "for sanity" exercise...you seem to be doing wonderfully with that. You are right, we tend to get a better performance when running/walking outside...I used to live in LA and would go hiking at least 2x a week and doing 6-10miles then, it was way easier while observing the scenery as opposed to when I did on a treadmill at my apartment gym. But I used the treadmill as a training for hikes too, if running I do a 1 to 4 incline to simulate outside grounds, if walking I do a max. incline of 15 to create strong muscles/resistance (plus with a higher incline and walking I burn waaaay more calories than when I do running) ;-)

Re. eating out...I feel your pain...I am thankful I actually dislike eating out, so people know to avoid asking me out for that, but when I have family gatherings/must eat out activities I prepare myself for 2-3days to not feel guilty just in case I cannot resist temptations. The mindset is...work-out extra if possible, don't go hungry (have ALL healthy meals beforehand, in controlled portions), and pick-choose your indiscretions beforehand if you can...having 1 unhealthy item (i.e. a yummy desert) won't kill all your efforts, but a whole unhealthy meal or a day of eating badly can be upsetting and do some damage. It's all about exercising self-control, holding yourself strong to your goals/all the hard work you put into your health, and knowing when it's Ok to reward yourself with a treat............once you create a positive relationship with food, it becomes nutrition/fuel to body and nothing else, that's when it becomes easier to resist the unhealthy items.

Wishing you much success on your journey.

Xoxox
 
Thank you LaMaria and Cate! It was wonderful to hear those compliments.

And thank you, CaliGirl, for stopping by. I really appreciate your advice about eating out. As you probably read, it stresses me out a ton. Luckily, my friends seem to be catching onto the fact that I would rather do something active (walk, hike, etc.) with them instead of going out to eat. It's making a big difference!

Today I woke up feeling really good. A good amount of my work clothes (mostly pants) are too big for me now, which is a great feeling. I am going to hold off on buying new ones since I am a teacher and my school year ends in a few weeks. I will have to deal with slightly baggy pants until then. :) Number on the scale this morning was 154.0. That means that I have lost 18 pounds since the beginning of this year. It also means that I am exactly 30 pounds lighter than I was last April. I can't believe it. I can't imagine lugging around an extra 30 pounds with me, all day every day. Never going back to that ever again.

I am feeling really good about the changes that I am seeing with my body and it's making me even more motivated. It feels like I just got myself into the 150s and I already can't wait to see the 140s. Just have to keep working hard and it will be here before I know it. In addition to that, I am looking forward to a flatter stomach and just an overall smaller frame. I am badly craving a time when I can feel really confident about my body. Every day is getting me closer to that goal. I am also really looking forward to the summer, being by the pool and at the beach. I am really hoping to feel comfortable in my bathing suit and not feel like a beached whale.

I am struggling a little bit with temptations around my house. My parents seem to not care that it is difficult for me to have junk food around the house. They tend to have the attitude that "a little bit once in a while won't kill you" but what they don't understand is that a little bit ALL THE TIME equals a lot! For example, my mom made cookies last night. I had one. Then today I have had two. I really could have survived without any of them but I feel like they are just staring at me. I know it is her house and she can buy whatever she wants but I really can't wait for the day when I live on my own and won't have those temptations around me. No more cookies for me today, thats for sure!

I am headed to the gym in a little bit for step class tonight. Tomorrow one of my friends is coming with me on a walk/run! Wednesday I can't make it to step class because I have an event to go to. I will have to squeeze the gym in either before or after that. Thursday and beyond, the weather is looking nice so hopefully I get to run outside. I've been making great progress with my running so I want to keep it up. As for Bikram, my month of unlimited is up so I have to now buy a package. I like the place I have been going to, but it is sort of inconvenient to get to. One of my friends goes to a place that is much closer (10 minutes away instead of 30) so I may go check out her place. I like having the option to go to Bikram as an alternative to the gym, step, and running. Plus it also helps me deal with stress!

Sorry for the long post, had some extra time this afternoon and lots on my mind. Wishing everyone a really good Monday!
 
Never apologise for anything you put in your diary honey. It's yours. I enjoyed reading that last post. It's hard to get to know people who hardly say anything in their diaries, except for what they ate & their exercise & I love getting to know people.
You are doing so well. Temptations will be different when you move out from your parents' house. Junk food is so cheap. Do your parents eat well most of the time?
It sounds like you have quite a good balance in your life at the moment, with gym, running etc. Congrats on being 30lbs lighter! That's wonderful :D
 
Cate, they don't eat healthy! They have their moments but generally I can't eat what they eat. They are finally realizing that I am doing my own thing with food and they don't even offer me food any more. The biggest problem I have is the amount of soda they drink. It irks me because I know how unhealthy it is. I have learned to just focus on me and not pay any mind to what anyone else is eating or drinking. That works best for me. I don't want anyone commenting on my "healthy" food so I don't comment on what they're eating either. I don't really eat a lot of the things I used to eat (bread, milk, take out, soda, things loaded with sugar) and if I am talking about food, I try not to sound judgy about it. So instead of saying "you shouldn't eat that crap because its bad for you," I say, "I'm not eating that, it's not good for me."
 
Good job sticking to "I-messages", it's really hard sometimes to not sound judgemental (especially on issues where deep-down, people may know you're right, which raises their hackles anyway).
 
Well, let's start with the bad news. I have been feeling very yucky and bloated today. I am not sure what it is about Tuesdays but the last month or so, I always feel this way on Tuesdays. I think if I look back at every Tuesday on here, probably have written something similar. I am guessing that it is an adjustment back to the work week or something that makes me feel this way.

And for the good news. I took that bloated feeling and instead of stuffing my face, I laced up my sneakers and hit the pavement. My friend was supposed to come walking with me but she backed out. I ended up running 3.5 miles straight! Then I walked a half mile, then I ran the rest of the way home, which was another 2.25 miles. So I ran a total of 5.75 and walked .5. Best I have ever done. It actually gets easier as the miles go. Who would have thought. :)

My average pace per mile is about 12:30. I know I have a lot of improvement to do on that time but it is a solid place to start. A year ago I couldn't even run a quarter mile. Plus I have only been back to running for less than 2 months. Very happy with my progress thus far.
 
Sucks about feeling bloated, but man, you're smashing those miles! Amaaazing!!!

When I go home this summer it's gonna be very similar for me i.e. I'll be eating different things to my parents. To be honest, they don't mind and it's me that's gonna have to stay strong. I'll be reporting on here he he.
 
Delsid, sounds like you will be in a similar boat this summer. Let me tell you, it is not easy but once you start really resisting those temptations, it does get a little easier. I have slowly built up the wall and learned to just ignore the bad choices (for the most part). I just get angry because I know it would be far easier for me to resist those temptations if they weren't right under my nose. Glad I'm not alone in this!

Today I had a jam-packed day and I didn't think I would be able to get any exercise in. It was sort of bothering me so I planned it out to give myself about a half hour to run. I had a crazy day at work so I needed to work out to relieve some stress. I am amazed at how I am turning to exercise instead of food! Anyway, I ran 3 miles. While I am running, I think about how I used to think it would be impossible for me to run this one route around my house that I have been WALKING for years. Never thought I would see the day that I could run the whole thing... and here I am doing it. I am so proud of myself. I did have to push myself, however, because I think my body is still tired from yesterday's 6 miles. My left knee was hurting a bit but I pushed through. I think I need to limit my running to every other day. I don't think at this point it can handle more than one day in a row. Lesson learned.

I got home and immediately had to get ready for an event. At the event, one person told me that I was looking good. It happens to be someone that I see at the gym from time to time. It was really nice of her to go out of her way to mention that to me. While at the event, I was pretty good about my food choices. The options were salad, chicken parmesan, baked ziti with a ton of cheese, and rolls with butter. I chose salad (and ate that first) with a small piece of chicken parmesan. I purposely stayed away from the ziti and the rolls. My downfall was the ice cream at the end of the meal. I just couldn't resist. After all, it was a celebration. I actually don't feel too bad about eating it. Learning to let myself live a little from time to time.

Anyway, at the event, lots of pictures were taken and I knew they would end up on Facebook. I got home just now and opened up my Facebook, slightly afraid to see a picture of myself. Surprisingly, the picture of me that I saw, I am happy with. I know I still have a lot of work to do but this picture of me is different than ones I've seen in the past. In this picture, I don't look as uncomfortable and puffy. I'm not sure how noticeable it is to other people, but to me I see a big difference. It is a god feeling to be SATISFIED. I am not going to settle, but for today I am satisfied with what I see. The best part is that it is only going to get better from here!

Lastly, my sister texted me earlier today to tell me that people at her school (we work in different schools but in the same town that we live in) have been telling her that they see me out running all the time. If there is something that I want to be known for as of late... it is RUNNING! So I am thrilled. She said a few different people have told her that. And I love it :)

I am sad that I wasn't able to make it to my step class tonight because I had the event, but I'm planning on getting to the gym tomorrow. I know I will be tempted to run tomorrow but like I said earlier, I think it's too much for my body and I need to break up my running with some low-impact exercising. Not a problem. I also have been thinking of getting into doing some of the weight machines at the gym. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day to try some out. Friday I'm hoping to get a long run in and it looks like the weather is going to be beautiful!
 
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