(Re)new Journey

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Kakes...YOU ARE DOING WONDERFUL!!! So proud of you for trying all the gym equipment...you keep doing YOU girl and I am sure you will achieve all of your goals.

RE. how to increase your water intake...I think there is an app that reminds you when to take it, with intervals, maybe look up that as it might be helpful to you. You are also getting some water from fruits...do you take any other drinks during the day besides water?

I feel you on the Stairmaster...it's a bit of a nightmare to me, and I love cardio...but damn I get dizzy and sweaty on that thing, hahaha. Also love that your family is getting rubbed by the healthy changes you are making...it makes easier on your transition too.

Enjoy some rest and have an awesome week darling!!

Xoxox
 
Thanks CaliGirl! I will look into that app for the water intake. I think my biggest problem is that my job does not allow for me to get up and go to the bathroom any time that I want to. I am a teacher so I can't leave the kids unattended. That makes it very difficult for me to constantly drink water because it goes right through me! Luckily we have 3 weeks left of school and then I'll be on summer break, making it much easier for me to just drink and be free to use the bathroom. What a concept haha. Sorry for the overshare!

And yes, the stair master is a bit of a nightmare to me as well! I am so excited for my family to be getting on board with the healthy choices. I went downstairs to my kitchen just a bit ago and saw that it was stocked with food, mostly healthy. I usually do all my own food shopping for myself but it is also nice to be surrounded by healthy foods and not junk. Such a big difference it makes!

Today I am feeling EXTRA lazy. It is Memorial Day so no work and I am taking full advantage of that. I do intend to either run or go to the gym. I haven't decided yet. It is nice to have options but sometimes it takes me forever to decide what I feel like doing. The weather is crappy today, cool but not raining so I think I might go for a run. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer (85 degrees or so) so I'm thinking a run tonight, gym tomorrow, and step class Wednesday.

Lastly, the number on the scale today is 151.7! Oh my. I really like that number haha. Still working toward my goal of hitting the 140s by the beginning part of June (not June 1st). Looks like I am on track to meeting that goal. Still continuing to think about my long term goals into the summer and beyond. I've said my ultimate goal weight is 135 for now so I am less than 20 pounds away from that. That is an amazing feeling. The progress I have seen so far is great but it only pushes me more to be better and better. I used to get worried that I would get scared of my progress and give up (such a strange reasoning but I know I can't be the only one who has felt that) but I think I have turned a corner with that. I have really settled in to a routine and it is certainly working for me. I think I say the phrase "working for me" a lot but it's true. The plan that I have come up with on my own is giving me results so to me, it is working. I'm not saying that I won't have a bad day (or week) but I think this is me now and I am excited to keep going with it!
 
Kakes2 said:
I used to get worried that I would get scared of my progress and give up (such a strange reasoning but I know I can't be the only one who has felt that)
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For sure. Crazy aren't we?
I am so excited for you too kakes. 151.7? :D :D :D
 
Yay for 151.7! ;) I once read a book about how many people are sabotaging their own weight loss because they make all these promises to themselves of what they´d be doing and how awesome they´d be "if only I wasn´t this heavy" and of course they were afraid that if they actually reached their goal weight they´d have to admit to themselves that all that changed was their weight, not their hearts/minds/courage/friends/whatever. I think there´s a lot of truth in that.
 
Thanks Cate! And that is very interesting, LaMaria. But I agree that there is a lot of truth to that. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) I am very self-aware so I know that the problems and issues that I deal with are still going to be there once I lose the weight. I try to look at is this way: the weight is just one piece of the puzzle. The strength, determination, and discipline that I am using to lose the weight and get healthier are all tools that I can use to help myself fix other parts of my life that aren't so great. Also, many things in life that go wrong are out of our control but weight (more or less) is in our control so it's very grounding. Sort of interesting to think about, to say the least!

Today I wore a dress to work that I bought over the weekend. I have to say that I was feeling pretty good in the dress. It is a size medium and fit me well. The scale says 151.7 still so that's making me happy. I was afraid that number would disappear faster than it arrived. I am trying to not live by the scale but it's pretty difficult. I've thought about ditching the scale for a few weeks and seeing if that helps my mentality. Still considering it, but I'm not too sure. I wouldn't say that I am obsessed with it or anything. So right now it's not an issue.

I am taking a few hours to relax with my dog before I head to the doctors at 3:15. Something has been wrong with my eyelid for some time now and I need to get it checked out. I don't think my constant sweating is helping it much but what can I do? Hoping the doctor has an idea what's going on. I only mention this because I used to be terrified to go to the doctor. I think you might be able to guess the reason.... GETTING WEIGHED! Yup, I used to dread it because every time the doctor would tell me that I needed to lose weight. That still might happen today but for once I can say "I'm working on it!" Before, I used to just brush it off and say (in my head), "Yeah, sure." Certainly a change of attitude about it this time around. I might even ask the doctor how much I weighed last time I was in, just because I'm curious.

Anyway, off to enjoy a little bit of time in the sun as I eat my lunch. I'm thinking some chicken and some veggies might hit the spot!
 
Forgot to mention earlier that yesterday I did a 4 mile run. Walked the rest of the 6.2 miles. Felt great. Nothing on my body hurt- usually my left leg/knee hurts after a few miles but yesterday that was not the case. I think that's because I have been taking a few days between runs. I probably won't run again until Thursday or Friday, depending on weather and how I feel.

Today I went to the doctor to get some medicine for myself. I was not mortified when I stepped on the scale. It read 151.7, the exact number that I got earlier! I was afraid it was going to be higher, since I know scales can differ a bit. That was reassuring. I didn't have a chance to ask what my weight was the last time I was in the office but I know for a fact that it's lower now!

After the doctor, I went right to the gym and did 30 minutes on the stair master. I was going to try and do more cardio but decided I had enough for today. I then did 6 different machines for legs and arms, and also my ab circuit. That was plenty for today as I am exhausted! I have step class tomorrow evening, which I always look forward to. Probably will add in a walk or something else at some point in the day. And then like I said, a run either Thursday or Friday.

Now I have eaten dinner (chicken with 1 tbsp BBQ sauce and a side "salad" of tomato, broccoli, sprinkle of shredded cheese, and one hardboiled egg), showered, dried my hair, and settled in for the night. It is so much easier for me to enjoy my evenings after I've had a successful day of eating healthy and doing what I need to do to take care of my body. I used to lay down at the end of the day and not feel great about the choices that I made. It is so different now and I really like it. Certainly not perfect and sometimes I feel like I could do more, but for today I feel like I have done enough.

Hope everyone has a great evening!
 
O wow, you´ve been doing awesome! Being happy with your choices is possibly the best reward anyone can get.
 
Thanks LaMaria! It certainly is!

And Cate, I sure was in my PJs and snuggled up with my book. I've been reading "The Girl on the Train" and I'm really into it!

Today the weather has been beautiful, which is really motivating to me. After work, I made some chicken and cut up an apple. For breakfast this morning I had two hard boiled eggs and a cup of blueberries. For snack I had watermelon.

Tonight is step class and I am excited for it. It's fun to have a group exercise class to break up my regular walking, running, and visits to the gym. I am planning on staying for the last few minutes of the class when the instructor does ab exercises. Usually I leave and do my own but I'm hoping to learn a few new exercises to ad to my arsenal.

Scale gave me 150.7 this morning which was a surprise. I am getting very close to the 140s and I couldn't be happier. I have a few really great things planned for this summer and I know I will enjoy them more with a healthier body and mind. I've said before that I live in Massachusetts so I have easy access to many beaches and I spend a lot of time at my family's pool. It is going to be MUCH more enjoyable now that I'm not completely horrified by my body. Still have a long way to go but I know I am a work in progress and I'm happy with my progress thus far!

That being said, I have been thinking about splurging on some ice cream sometime soon. It shouldn't be a huge deal for me to want a treat once in a while so if the opportunity comes up, I certainly won't hesitate. I feel silly for overthinking it but I want to make sure I am making conscious decisions and not rash decisions that I will regret late. Certainly still trying to find that balance.
 
One ice cream is not a disaster. Make sure it's a good quality one though won't you? Your body is your temple:D
 
What Cate said...you can still indulge once in a while. It's part of the process of building a healthy relationship with food...you need to put in your mind that you are in control of it, it's your choice-your body-what would you like to feed it?...YOU ARE IN CONTROL...it's one thing to go out to an ice cream shop and have a cone of ice-cream, an yummy flavor of your choice - being moderate on the toppings - try to have a powerful workout earlier in the day where you can give yourself the opportunity to think of that item as a reward that you earned because you worked hard on your fitness. That way, when it's all done - you go back home - you aren't tempted to have more (a whole bucket of ice cream brought home can sabotage that if you are still working on moderation/self-control around unhealthy food). So think of your options...when you cheat, make it worth-while, but don't miss on an opportunity to do an extra research...I always look for healthier versions of my favorite cheat items, that way you give yourself the opportunity to know more about what exactly you are putting into your body...if you have that in the back of your mind then all the hard work you have already put in onto this journey (along with all the progress you have made), you can rest assured that a cheat meal will mean nothing but a positive learning step on the long run.
 
Thanks for the advice Cate and CaliGirl. This certainly has been such a learning experience for me so I want to make sure that I am becoming educated on things so that I can make the best decisions for my body. I used to not believe it when people said that losing weight mostly happens in the kitchen but now I have become to know how true that is. I could work out all day long (exaggeration) but if I come home and eat what I used to eat, I would make zero progress. That knowledge I have carried with me these last few months and really curbed my urges to cheat. I do think, however, that I have to learn how to deal with these treats and cheats because I can't avoid them forever. I do think I have done a great job making MUCH better food choices these last few months but there are times when I feel that it may be OK to have a small treat. I think what you both said about choosing a healthier option is exactly the route that I will take. Meaning, don't go crazy with the treat and don't let it invade my life. I have quit a lot of things cold turkey (soda, candy, ice cream, coffee with cream/sugar, fast food, etc.) so I am slightly afraid that if I try it again, I might not be able to quit it again. Just a couple of thoughts running through my mind.

Anyway, the weather is once again beautiful so tonight will be a great night for a run. Hoping for 4 miles of running and 2.2 walking but we will see. My workout schedule was really spot on this week and I'm feeling great. Step class last night had a substitute so I was not too excited since I find that I get a better work out with my favorite instructor. The sub ended up being decent so I still managed to sweat a good amount. Tomorrow I am planning on going to the gym for some cardio and weight machines. I really have learned to like the machines and I do see some little changes happening as a result. What more can you ask for, right?

This afternoon I went to the grocery store to pick up a few vegetables. Green beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, etc. Since my parents decided to start eating healthier, there are a lot more healthy foods around my house. I am so thankful for that. Our refrigerator was actually jam-packed so this afternoon I took some time to clean it out and organize it so we would be able to find what we are looking for. I felt like some precious produce was going to waste because it was hidden behind something else!

Off to go run!
 
What G & I do is have something special to eat on Sunday night. We incorporate some good quality dark chocolate(about 4 squares) & maybe a piece of slice(which I keep away in the freezer) sometimes a small piece of licorice(gluten-free for me) with a small fruit platter each (3 fruit halved between us). Limiting treats to one night a week & then not overdoing it is good for us.
Kakes2 said:
Tomorrow I am planning on going to the gym for some cardio and weight machines. I really have learned to like the machines and I do see some little changes happening as a result. What more can you ask for, right?
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Right! Excellent :D
Hope you enjoyed your run xo
 
I sure did enjoy my run Cate! I ran 4 miles straight and then walked the rest. My left knee was hurting a bit but I pushed through. Thinking back, I probably could have run more if I hadn't stopped to walk at the 4 mile mark. I always second guess myself because sometimes I am caught in between wanting to push myself and being afraid of succeeding. Along my run, I was trying to be more aware of my running form to try and lessen the pain on my knee. What I have noticed is that my run is actually now more of an actual run, versus the "shuffle" that it used to be when I first started running. While I can critic myself until the cows come home, I have to really stop and remind myself that I could barely run a half mile 2 months ago. If you asked me then if I could run 4 miles, I probably would have told you that maybe I could do it next year. Nope, this year it's happening! I am doing it now!

Now for a confession. I played a little bit of a trick on myself. Right when I came back from my run, I stood on my scale, knowing full well that I was dehydrated from sweating in the heat. I so desperately wanted to see a number in the 140s. And I did. 149.3. I know that it was a little bit of a trick on myself since I really hadn't lost any weight in a matter of less than two hours, it was just water weight. If anything, I will turn it into motivation for myself to see that number again soon. The scale doesn't define my progress but it lets me know that I am on the right track and reassures me that I am, in fact, seeing changes.

And speaking of changes, I went up to my attic tonight to start going through some clothing that I either put away at the end of last summer, or stored away hoping to fit into it again. I grabbed just a small pile to start. I found a pair of purple jeans (don't let that fool you, I swear they are actually in style) that I held up and said, "I will be so happy if these fit me." Well, they fit! Just a tad snug in the "muffin top" area but I was so happy. They are a size 10. A pair of white shorts, size 12 are too big but I kept them just in case I have nothing else to wear. Two pairs of pants were also a tad snug but I was actually able to get them on and button them, Put them both aside for later. I got rid of a few dresses and skirts that are a size large because I was just about swimming in them. Saying goodbye to those felt awesome. And lastly, I had a dress that I bought last year in a size 'medium' because I loved the dress and that's all the store had left. I've never worn it before because it was too tight. I tried it on tonight and it fit. The dress is flowy and I can see a belly lump in it, so I don't think I'll be wearing it until I lose a bit more. Still nice to know that I can fit in it, though! The stomach is by far my biggest problem area. Can't stand it!

So happy that it is almost the weekend. After tomorrow, I will have ten school days left and then I'm off for summer vacation! I'm not sure what I am doing this weekend but I know that I will continue to be diligent with my eating and my workouts. I am SO close to seeing the 140s (for real) and I don't want that to get away from me. No runs for a few days as my knee needs a rest so I'll probably do a long walk and some visits to the gym. Bring it on!
 
Thanks Cate and LaMaria!

Some good news. I bought a pair of pants over the weekend and I didn't try them on in the store because the lines were a mile long. I grabbed a size 10, thinking that if they didn't fit now, they would fit me soon. I tried them on this morning and they fit really well. Certainly a good start to my day. I am sort of sad because some of my favorite shirts are now a little bit too big. Most of my shirts are a size large and I am thinking that anything new that I purchase will most likely need to be a medium. I don't like my clothes super tight but they definitely need to fit. I will finish going through my summer clothes soon and then probably will have to do some shopping. I am reluctant to buy a lot of clothes because I intend to still lose another 15 pounds but I do need to clothe myself this summer!

Other piece of good news is that the scale actually gave me a number in the 140s today. 149.4 to be exact. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

Aside from the pants fitting and the number on the scale, I am not feeling very motivated today. No problems with food or anything as I've eaten healthy so far today (eggs and a banana, watermelon, bunless turkey burger, and string cheese). I am just lethargic. I have no energy whatsoever. I've thought about doing a few things around the house that I need to get done but I am just not having it today. It doesn't help that the weather is gross today- no sun at all. I am usually quite affected by the weather so that comes as no surprise. One thing is for sure... I am making it to the gym tonight. I need to get some cardio in and also some weight machines. I know I will feel great afterward but I am going to need to find some serious motivation beforehand!
 
Kakes2 said:
One thing is for sure... I am making it to the gym tonight. I need to get some cardio in and also some weight machines. I know I will feel great afterward but I am going to need to find some serious motivation beforehand!
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On those days I usually put my gym clothes somewhere where I can see them, so that I keep getting reminded.

Awesome stuff happening on the scale and in the wardrobe! :) Well done!!!
 
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