Rachel's Struggle

dont you just love being really happy one day and then have the next day be on of the worst day ever? I JUST LOVE IT!

ok well today was a horrible freakin day. im really angry. ok well. my bf of almost 4 years is driving me up the effing wall. we always get into stupid fights and today out of nowhere he was saying how i should tell him EVERYTHING. its like um no excuse me i can keep things to myself. he sees this as keeping secrets. its so stupid, and insecure. i feel like i should report when i use the freakin bathroom or something!!

he gets so mad that i tell my best friends everything. ive known them longer. and somehow that translates into me not trusting him? its so ridic. and then he has to nerve to say that i put my friends before him!! i dont even think thas such a bad thing and i never cancel plans with him for them. i work my whole sched around seeing him when i come back for a visit from college.(IUP is like 4 hrs away from my house) it drives me absolutely mad.

anyway. since i was having a horrible day the eating wasnt the best. i had pasta for lunch, a cookie, and a coke(ugh, addiction)i had a taco for dinner with a cookie. the stupid dining hall keeps putting out things i freaking like all of a sudden. omgosh today is just horrible. im done. and sorry half of this has nothing to do with diets. or exercise. even tho i did kicks and stuff for like 15 mins, and i might do abs later.
 
hello again. I havnt eaten anything yet, but i just wanted to give everyone an idea of what my eating habits used to be like. i know my habits arnt the best now, but there is such an improvement.

most days i would wake up go to class, get back at 10. and then i would eat a peanut butter sandwich-for a snack! hang around, and go to my next class and get back at 12:10. Then i would most likely grab another snack. then head to lunch at one where i would proceed to have pizza and ice cream with soda. then i would come back and have another soda. Snack again on something unhealthy. actually a few unhealthy snacks like 20 pixy stix.

then for dinner id have a regular classic italian sub which is well over 1,000 calories. with that i would have another soda and a 300 calorie brownie. then late at night i would snack yet again. oh and no exercise but walking to and from class. you see, ive improved SO much, but it still looks bad. its a wonder i didnt gain more than 5 lbs in 2 months of being here!!

so here i am. Now i havnt cut out the things i like to eat, i just cut WAY down. today is halloween..which is also a friday..which is my cheat day. i know im going to feel bad for cheating..but like..i really want to. and it'll only be for lunch. im torn between quiznos and pizza...and i know im going to have a brownie as well. and coke.

part of me wants to do a cheat day so i can have what i realllllly want and then be good to go again. the other part of me doesnt want one so i dont ruin any progress. to be honest i think it will just stop me from losing today, and wont ruin my whole week. im only cheating for one meal after all. eventually though i do want to cut down my cheat days...but its halloween! i guess i also need to stop making excuses...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! :reddevil:
 
Hey Rachel!

Sorry I haven't been around. I've had stupid midterms.

Awesome job on resisting temptation! Don't you feel SO powerful?

You are seriously soooo lucky you have your roommate to work with. I am EXACTLY the same way: VERY competitive. I think it's good! It's encouraging.

I'm sorry about your boyfriend. Boyfriends can act so silly at times :p Hopefully he comes to his senses soon!

Don't worry about the one "bad" eating day. This should be a lifestyle change and there's no way we're going through life without eating some "bad" stuff. It happens. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Well done on cutting down the calorie intake. My eating habits were kind of similar. Not so much unhealthy food choices but PORTIONS. Ate too much! Good job on disciplining and controlling yourself :)

Hope you have a good Halloween!
 
Gohomejes is right, guys can be very silly. It's normal for women to talk to their friends about stuff...especially if it's other women. Normally guys don't WANT us to tell them stuff so your b/f is definitely different. My husband would tell him to be careful what he asks for because he'll learn, eventually, lol.

Good job on the avoiding temptation this week :) My fav cookies are called "mystic mint" cookies and thankfully I can't find them here in Ohio at all. They are SOOOO good...chocolate covered and mint in the middle....and when you dip them in a hot drink they get melty. Ok I'm gonna shut up now :X Let's just say if somebody had a package of MY fav cookies laying out I wouldn't have done as well as you, lol.
 
Thanks ladies!!

He appologized for everything(as he should haha) so things r getting better guess. i dont even know why he wants to know so much, i think its strange lol
 
Ok i so i woke up at 11:30!! i dont even know how i slept that late. yesterdays eating was bad. 2 slices of pizza, a brownie, a coke, doritos, cookies, 100 calorie popcorn and a chicken wrap. it could have been worse. cheat day is just..i dont even know. but it was bad so im more than ready to get back to my diet.
 
I'm not feeling well today. my head hurts, im insanely hot, and in a crappy mood. for breakfast i had a 300 calorie omelet. for a snack i had an 80 calorie fruit roll up. for dinner im having mac and cheese which will be 500 calories. and i doubt i'll eat anything other than that. maybe some 100 calorie item. but i just dont feel like eating. and my left hip is really bothering me. it hurts to extend my leg backwards so just walking is a pain. i made myself go on a 30 min walk and it hurt every step of the way.
 
Hi Rachel,

GOod job in trying to stop almost all of you sweeth tooth temptations..I can so relate to that...I usually do well for the main meals but come dessert, I will be struggling..there will be days that I am very good to say NO but there will be some where I will just caved in and eat and feel so angry with myself during that time...(sighs...)

Good luck again, dear.and I will be sure to drop by again to read on you...

Taz
 
Hey Rachel.

Awesome job on being consistent with the exercise. Make sure you're eating enough! Eating less then 1,000 calories will catch up to you!

I hope you feel better!
 
Thank you for your support everyone.

The last two days have not been the best. I dont think i went over 2,000 calories, but still thats no good.

I dont have much to update on really. I caved and had a stupid coke yesterday. i realllly need to stop doing that. tomorrow is the weigh in and im not really expecting it to go too well...i just hope i lose something.
 
Hey Rachel,

A coke won't kill you :p It's all about moderation.

I hope the weigh-in goes well tomorrow. If not, there's always next week :)
 
Thank you Jes. I dont know where i would be without this forum.

i mean i just started 2 weeks ago and am finding it difficult. im no stranger to dieting, so i dont know why i thought i would find it easy or something. i guess i was being unrealistic about how i feel about dieting.

Today was ok. I had an 80 cal snack, 500 calorie lunch, omg another coke(140)! i need to stop, 100 calorie snack, and a 700 calorie dinner. not good. could have been worse though iguess.

sorry these updates have been pretty lame. i guess ive been preoccupied. and nothing new had really happened. I renewed my housing for college for next year..um...and im going home this weekend.

2 of my best friends r coming from 4 hrs away to visit, spend the night, and take me and my roomie home friday. and then we r coming back sunday and my 2 bests r staying sunday night and leaving monday. its been a month since ive seen anyone from back home, so im really excited. This month away from home has really flown by. and going home means i can count calories really well! :)

i hope tomorrow goes ok..i dont feel too confident...but if its not good, i know i have room for improvement. i think i would feel worse if i felt like i did everything in my power and didnt lose anything.

stay strong everyone, even though im not exactly the bes example! i still want this!
 
Oh my gosh and I forgot to say that I'm voting tomorrow!! I'm using my limited power as an 18 yr old haha. I'm actually excited, and I am not into politics haha. I hope everyone else on here that is American is voting too!!
 
So today is weigh in day...and i cant weigh myself!! our stupid scale has decided to be low on batteries!! i try to turn it on but all it says i "Lo" and i cant just replace the batteries cuz its one of the disk kinds(which i dont have), and ya know, i dont normally carry a phillipshead screw driver with me!

its soo frustrating. now im going to have to wait til i go home to bring my weight watchers scale up here. i love that thing. ive always had a hatred towards this scale my roomie bought haha i guess it doesnt like me either.
 
ok scratch that. after banging the thing around i got it to work. and it said 162.2. but since its low on batteries i have no way of telling how accurate it is...atleast its a loss...im really disappointed in myself...like..extremely. ive never sucked so bad at dieting....EVER. :(
 
Hey Rachel!

Congrats on voting. It was my first time voting as well :)

Hope your diet and exercise are going well. Don't sweat so much about the numbers. Once you stop focusing on those, you'll enjoy your journey so much more.

Have fun at home! :)
 
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