Rachel's Struggle

Rach182

Rach182

New member
Hi everybody. I decided to start a journal to document my weight loss, to see where I go wrong and right, and to get some support or advice.

First I'll tell you a bit about myself. Im 18 years old,5ft 5in, and ive struggled with my weight since i was in middle school. I let myself get out of hand and had gone all the way up to 190 at one point. That's when i knew i had to do something. I had gotten down to 156, and gained 4 lbs over summer, and now 5 more now that college has started.

Right now I'm at 165. I plan to weigh myself every sunday morning. I write down everything I eat in a notebook, but i now want to move that to the web.

I have a kind of plan to help me with losing weight:

1. im dieting with my roommate.
2. Im cutting soda out of my life(i used to drink atleast 1 can a day)
3. the elevators in my building are dead to me. Now the stairs are my best friends, and i live on the 4th floor.
4. im in college, and its no secret its hard to find healthy meals. I usually eat pizza for 1-2 meals per day. so im starting off with cutting that down to 4 pizza meals per week. eventually i want to make it that i only eat it once.
5. Im allowing myself to have a "cheat day" where i get to eat an extra snack and have a meal that i dont think about my calories.
6. i will start eating breakfast and drinking more water
7. i will eat 3 meals, and have 2 snacks.
8. eat low calorie and low fat food
9. No food after 7:30pm.

i get about 40 minutes of fast paced walking monday-friday due to me walking to classes. and every so often im gunna throw in some ab exercises. with all this hopefully i can start losing weight finally.

My problem is staying motivated, and sticking to the snack rule. I have always been a snacker, and its soo hard not to cheat.

I started my diet on monday, and im doing ok so far, admittedly i have had about 3 snacks a day instead of 2. im hoping to make this the transition week and i will really crack down on myself next week. this is how i usually start out my diets so i dont get discouraged.

My goal is to be 130 lbs and in bikini shape by the time summer rolls around. ive given myself ample time to lose the weight. last time it took 6 months to lose 30 lbs. and i wish i could do it faster. i know i didnt always try as hard as i could. so hopefully i can be done by 5 months if i try really hard!!

heres what i ate so far today

Breakfast: 2 granola bars, water
snack: 100 calorie pack oreo thing, water

lunch is coming soon, so i think im gunna have mashed potatoes.

I really miss drinking coke. this was only a bad habit i picked up after coming to IUP which is where i go to college. My mom is a health nut and its pretty embarrassing when ur 47 yr old mother is hotter than you. she helped me with my past diets and she knows what shes talking about. she is 5'4" and 115 lbs and is so toned. im jealous. and i wanna make her proud by finally getting to look how i want. its kinda a surprise i guess.

anyone with any suggestions of what i could do to improve or just words of encouragement would be helpful. thanks!
 
Looks like you do have a plan going on there! Im sure you will succeed! Just keep your self motivated.

I can relate to you on the Coke. I miss coke too, havent drank it for months now. Used to drink bottles of it almost every day!
 
It's great to see you have a plan, and are determined to make your goal a reality. It is also good that your mom is a health "freak" as well. She should be able to support and guide you along the way, as well as this forum. Word of advice, from someone who knows, do this for YOUSELF... not anyone else. When you start to do this for YOU, and keep self promises, you will acheive what you are after. Good luck to you on your journey. :)
 
Hey Rachel!!!

First off, congrats on losing the initial 30lbs. That's quite a feat!!

Dude...I can totallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy relate with all the pizza meals. When I lived on campus my freshmen year. I was eating pizza once a day. It was RIDICULOUS.

I can also relate with the soda. I haven't had soda in over a month. I think it's great you're starting off slow. I was the same and was drinking 1-2 cans daily and slowly reduced my intake. Sometimes I crave it SO bad but every day I don't have it, I feel better and I know I can live without it.

I think you've got a good plan for yourself. I have a pretty similar plan and I've done pretty well with it so far. I think it's also great you've given yourself 6 months to lose it. It's totally doable and that way you don't over do it. 30lbs in 6 months is GOOD. It's better then yo-yo dieting and just putting it right back on. Slow is the way to go!!!

I really hope you're doing this for yourself and not for your mom. I'm sure she loves you and thinks you look great as is :p

Sorry this is so long! You have a great plan and I have a feeling you're going to do great :)
 
I feel ya on the pizza thing. I live in a college town and there are pizza place all over. Its hard to stay away from since I love pizza so much.
 
OK so i just typed out a really long diary, and wouldnt u know it i somehow pressed some keys and closed out of internet explorer! :banghead:

ugh. ok so im just going to have to start over.

Anyway, I am definately doing this for me. I just want to make my mom proud because she has always helped me in the past, and wants this for me as much as i want it for myself.

Ok so i stay in on-campus housing. I have a suite which is basically an apartment without the kitchen stove and living room. I have my own room and my roommate has hers. No stove=no home cooked meals. which means i have to eat out every day.

Yesterday wasnt the best. I had a to go meal from the dining hall. it was mashed potatos, corn, chicken, gravy, and a but of shredded cheddar. It was realy good, but im sure it had a ton more calories than i would have willingly eaten if i knew just how many were in it.

It sucks that i cant count my calories. there is no way to find out how many calories are in the meals im eating. counting calories was always so important to my success in past diets.

Because of that filling meal i didnt eat any snacks. Dinner i had a sub roll, 3 pepperoni slices, and 2 slices of provolone cheese. Not too bad. but i was still hungry, and if when i eat meals i am not full, i will snack like a beast. It's one of my major downfalls.

So i went back up to see what else there was, and wouldnt u know it there was a cookie coated in peanut butter and chocolate. I have NEVER seen these at the dining hall before. and those are 3 of my favorite things. needless to say i failed the temptation test and ate one. it was the best tasting thing ive had since i got here.

That wasnt good. I was full, and didnt eat until breakfast this morning.

I had a granola bar and water. Im STARVING right now. I have class again at 11:15-12:05. I am really tempted to skip. its something i do a lot. its okay because i can maintain my A's. I have over 100% in that class due to me being a good test taker, and bonus work doer. This may seem irrelevant but it isnt. if i go to class i gain 20 mins of walking. if i dont, i lose that 20 mins. I know that every bit counts.

Its weird that i am deciding to go or not off of exercise, not the caring about the subject! oh well, whatever gets me to class i guess.

I should go though. Today is supposed to be "cheat day" but im scared to do it. I dont know if this will give me a boost or a set back. Hm.

What does everyone else think about cheat days/meals. Good? Bad?
 
Ok so im bored and i want to keep myself occupied, so i figured i would answer these questions.


What is your current height and weight? 5'5" 165lbs.

If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be? well some day i wanna be like 125, but my goal is 130. I dont have any idea what i will look like, so i could be happy there.

At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? 145 i guess

Why do you want to lose weight? for a lot of reasons. my health. i also wanna be proud of what i look like. i want to wear really cute clothes. i want to wear a bikini! and i want more self confidence.

Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event? i just want to be in bikini shape by june really.


What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals? thanksgiving, christmas, my birthday, losing my motivation. getting discouraged. college food.

Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
iv'e had one for awhile. its cuz i stopped doing tae kwon do after i got my blackbelt. so there goes my weekly exercise. then i got a steady boyfriend who loves me no matter what i look like. he thinks im sexy now. haha hes so fit people probably wonder why hes with someone with a body like mine.

What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
dietary changes. and more exercise. that simple.

Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
yea a few times. counting calories, the treadmill, working out with my mom.

Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
because i went right back into my old ways, and because i never got low enough to be comfortable with myself. so i figured well i still hate me now, so who cares if i gain 10 lbs. how stupid of me.

What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
too much exercise. that sounds bad, but i HATE working out. so it made me so annoyed that i was doing it so i was like..no thanks working out. so i stopped after a while. i cant over do it or i get sick of it really fast.

Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
i am trying to do that now for the first time.

Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
i never can because i live at college...

How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
every day to the dining halls. i try to make smart choices but it is really hard.

What are your three favorite foods?
pizza, peanut butter, fudge. yea....all so healthy.

What are your three favorite restaurants?
the olive garden, mcdonalds ha, and the macaroni grill.

What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
not snack as much, dont snack after 7:30. anddd dont eat such horribly bad food.

If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
wow. i would not have stupid love handles. i would have a flat stomach, and my legs would be toned as well as my arms.

Do you eat when you are not hungry?
its a curse. im getting better though.

Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
i have, but thats not usually something i would do.

Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
no

Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
when im nervous i lose my appetite, so no.

Do you eat as a reward?
no, i just like food.

Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
usually

What do you normally eat for a meal?
it ranges from pizza to tacos and whatever really.

What type of snacks do you eat?
swiss rolls, popcorn, chips, candy bars.

In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
well before i started to try to lose weight i just walked to classes. now i do that, use the stairs, go on an extra walk, and do ab exercises at night.

Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
i do abs in my room, and the walking around campus.

What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
walking, walking, and walking. i hate exercising because i dont like to sweat.

What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
my motivation is to finally get into a bikini and look really good. and to walk down the beach in it and to have guys do a double take.

Do you have rewards for certain goals?
my reward for meeting my goals is looking better. thats the only reward i need.
 
Ok so this is my third post here today. You can tell how busy i am :)

today had the potential to be really good. But of course i couldnt resist the thought of cheat day...so i ended up having 2 slices of pizza for lunch with a coke...ugh it upset me. my roomie had the same thing minus the coke. so we decided to take a walk around campus. it was a 40 minute walk. i dont know how many miles that is. but im guessing a little less than 2.

so i was feeling pretty good after that and i did go to my second class which meant more walking. anyway after the walk i kinda just chilled around. and i thought that i should make like a mini poster to motivate myself. I wrote down all the positives to me staying on track and losing weight. on it i have happy faces and pics of bikinis i want to own. now i know i wont look like the models wearing them, but i think it will help me, because it shows it IS possible.

i also found good motivational quotes and printed them out as well. and im gunna post them on my bulletin board that is behind my laptop so i can see it every day. and when im feeling down, discouraged, or tempted to eat when i shouldnt i can read them and get my spirits up.

so after my lunch mishap and my posters and such u would think that i would eat a light dinner...well no...

i had pasta. with like 6 steak fries. i felt guilty being full. im not sure as to how many calories were in it. needless to say it was not good.

i felt horrible about it so i dragged my roommate on another 40 min walk with me so i could feel better about it. and i did. and when i got back i showered. which was dumb because i decided i should work out in my room.

i stretched and did kicks that i had learned from my 3 yrs in TKD. and some ab work for about 20 mins or so. now i was feeling really good. and yet again i dragged my roommate to work out with me.

this time i decided on a stair game type thing we could do. we r on the 4th floor, so we would go down to ground, all the way back up, then to floor 1, all the way back up, then to floor 2, and so on. I felt good after that too.

and then i came back, and took a shower. now im here. i still feel guilty. and i just have a bad feeling about weighing in on sunday. im really scared. so tomorrow ive decided that i will sleep late(as i always do on the weekend) have a granola bar for breakfast, and eat in for lunch. and i will try my best not to snack between lunch and dinner. i may have an 80 calorie snack if i must snack.

somewhere during the day im going to take a walk and maybe do more abs or something. and i want to eat a light dinner as well. and i refuse to snack after dinner now. ive heard it helps? i dont really know. i want to work really hard as it is the day before weigh in.

like i said im really scared. i mean, ive done ok with my eating, and well with exercise. usually its the other way around. im scared that all the water ive been drinking will hurt instead of help like it is supposed to. i want to see just some loss. ideally i want to see 1.5lbs. i want to stay on that track so i can lose 6 lbs a month. and then i can meet my goal in 6 months.

I just hope all goes well. tomorrow is a big day for me. i feel like i had to work my way into dieting. i guess thats normal.

because of how bad i felt about cheat day i think i will only have one once a month. i just REALLY want to see a loss. if i dont, im going to be really discouraged. usually the first week is the easiest to lose weight. on one of my diet excursions i lost 6 lbs in a week. i know that wont be this time. but i wish i could...
 
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I wished I had a roommate like yours!!

I work out alone and its great to have a partner! I wish I had one! You are so lucky!!
 
cybermama said:
I wished I had a roommate like yours!!

I work out alone and its great to have a partner! I wish I had one! You are so lucky!!
Click to expand...

i am really lucky! shes my best friend and we are both trying to lose weight. i pushed her yesterday to do more so im sure one day when i dont feel like doing anything she can push me to do better.
 
Alright so who knows how many diary entries i'll do today. i post them all in pink so everyone can find them easily and tell them apart from my replies.

Today i woke up at around 10:15. soon im going to have my granola bar and water. and then i want to do some exercises in my room to wake me up and start burning calories.

I also want to go to the dining hall today for lunch because they serve breakfast foods like eggs and sausage. I feel like i dont get enough protein so im thinking that will be my lunch. and then i can eat in for dinner instead of the other way around.

Its raining outside so whatever walking i do today will result in me getting soaked, luckily i like the rain, and the rain is no excuse not to exercise.

today i have to push myself really hard because tomorrow morning is the big day...it will mean 6 days of dieting since i started on monday. i just want to lose atleast a lb.

I guess thats all for now. keep at it everyone!
 
Thanks for swinging by my diary today and giving your support :) I appreciate it. You look great btw so I admire you for wanting to get in better shape. If I looked that good already I don't think I'd be motivated. Gratz on almost being through your first week.
 
Hey Rachel!

You seem to be doing great. Your dedication shows when you're willing to walk through the rain. I would never be able to do that.

I have to agree with others. You are sooo lucky to have a roommate as a working-out buddy. It must be so nice to have someone to encourage and motivate you.

Keep it up! :)
 
Thanks for the support everyone. It really does help, I'm really glad i joined this site!

Today was a good day because i was able to count my calories! the dining hall sometimes posts the calories for the food, and today was one of those days.

I had a granola bar for breakfast and water like i planned. For lunch I had an omelet, which they had the calories counted at 300. With that i had a very small amount of mac and cheese with cranberry juice. mmm.

Then for a snack i had 150 cals worth of crackers. Then my roomie and I went on a 40 minute walk. For dinner i had a meal thing of ravioli which was 380 calories.

I was still hungry so i had 360 cals worth of popcorn, not the best, but a definate improvment. so my total calorie count was around 1500 which is my BMR.

Tomorrow morning i weight in! I'm so nervous! i hope i do well! I'll post again tomorrow with hopefully good news!
 
I'm so hungry right now. I havnt eaten since 6:30. and i really want some food. I'm not gunna cave in..even though i really want to. tomorrow is so important...i need to get a grip! tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...
 
This morning i woke up at 9 and weighed myself. and i did not lose any weight. not even .2 of a lb. i was really upset i stayed at exactly 165.0. i dont know how that could of happened...im still really upset.

so i went back to bed and woke up at 11. i weighed myself again because i refused to believe that i hadnt lost anything. got on and the scale read 164.6. im still angry! .4 of a lb in 6 full days of dieting is horrible. ive never had that happen to me. ever. especially the first week when i know my eating wasnt unreasonable at all. i guess the meals i cant count calories on r more fatty than i thought....

if i dont get better results next week..i can tell i'll want to quit because i need faster results than .4 of a lb. for now though i am not going to give up, and i'm going to try even harder although i didnt think that was possible..

i could really use to encouraging words/similar stories to relate to to keep me going..this is really rough...
 
I think you should take it slow. Dont worry too much about your weight. Well, you can monitor it but the best way to see if you loose weight is to see how your clothing fits you. For me, sometimes I loose .200 or .400 or not loose at all. Then the next week itself, I can suddenly loose more! So, its quite confusing. Sometimes we eat some type of foods that retains more water and causes us to have slight weight gain... then you can suddenly loose it in a few days...

I suggest that you check ur right calorie intake that should be based on your weight through thedailyplate.com

Also, if you eat too little calorie, you can hit a platue cause ur metabolism just slows down... ur body is telling itself that there is not much intake, so they need to store more.

Im no expert, but i do read from this forum.

This forum really have great readings.
Hope it helps! and I hope you chin up and dont give up!!
 
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