Qjay's thread

It was delicious...
We had sausages (spicy and regular), tri-tip steak smoked to perfection, we roasted whole onions with chili peppers and butter until they would fall apart, there were roasted red, yellow, and green peppers, we smoked a yam just for the fun of it (delicious), my friend who was hosting brought out his first keg of homebrew for the year, a tangy IPA that was really smooth. We played Bocce a few times and just had a blast, it was definitely a good start to the barbecue season! ;)

The best part is, all of it was healthy food! No guilt, no upset stomach, none of the bad parts! :D
 
So, last week I ran into an old girlfriend. She says I look amazing and she's trying to get things started again. AGAIN again; because I've held her off a couple of times now. She spent a lot of time telling me how great I look, how nice it is to see me, how much she enjoys spending time together, etc. I'm not interested, and she's not pushing things, but she was genuinely shocked by the weight I have lost.
For me, it doesn't seem like much, I'm still heavier than I have been for most of my adult life, but I am starting to get into clothes I put away several years ago, so that's kind of nice. I'm starting to feel some old urges for sugar again, and I ate a bag of gourmet chips (I love Terra chips, thank GAWD they are expensive!) with a friend, we each "gorged" on half a bag of the chips (4 servings each, 140 cal/serving, so it wasn't much of a binge, but I am really full now :O ).

I've been noticing my calorie count slipping up the past few days, even the estimated calories seem less healthy. I've been at 2000 a day for a couple of days this week, and today I hit 2500-2750 (because of the snack food), but overall things are still under control.

I've been running into more people who haven't seen me in awhile, the past month or so; it's kinda weird having people make a big deal out of the fact that I am less fat. It's not like I am getting down to "skinny" or even anywhere near normal; I'm not even near 300 lbs yet! I am not sure I like having that "positive reinforcement" though; it's still basically a huge reminder of how overweight I still am, and it doesn't feel positive.
The best compliment I have received so far was, "Hey, you look like you have dropped some weight since the last time I saw you; how much?" and I told them and they said "Congrats. Aren't you about to graduate school?" and we moved right on with the conversation.
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you handle the people who want to gush about it? It's not a major problem for me, but it is starting to feel really weird having the same conversation with lots of different people...

Thanks! :D ~QJ
 
hey qj
in a way i understand what you mean. i find conversations about MY weight uncomfortable, because i still have a long way to go. but i don't find it uncomfortable to talk about my diet and exercise, i'm actually very proud and wanna brag all the time hehe.
i hope this feeling of being uncomfortable to talk about how much i lost will eventually go away.
btw how are you?
 
Hey! Your BBQ sounded fantastic!! mmmm tri-tip (drool, drool, ooops here let me mop that up!)
Sorry can't help with the conversations, I don't really run into people I used to know. And if I do it's from when I was skinny, so...?LOL
Personally, I think even a 20lb loss at a heavier weight seems to be more noticeable in the extremities, such as the face and such.
 
I have lost enough weight now for people to comment. I like it. I like it when it's people I'm friendly with who are also trying to improve their exercise and share their own thoughts about food and exercise - so it's not one way. I don't feel like any one gushes. They are just friendly and complimentary. No different to how I would be.

I can relate to feeling that I still have a long way to go - and it is a bit strange when people start acting like I might have a miracle cure or special expertise, which is an impression I've had a couple of times lately. Are they just being friendly or do they want me to help them lose weight? Is there anything I can say that would help?

I find it exciting to hear that other people are finding your weight loss impressive, and that you have dropped a few years of clothes sizes! Good for you! :)

If that calorie creep needs it then I'm sure you'll take care of it now you've noticed it. Then again - the recommended calories for you to lose weight is fairly high isn't it? Maybe eating a bit more is good for you right now.
 
I decided I needed a junk food day, so I have eaten nothing of any nutritional value today. I am over 1000 calories, and just had a slice of pizza to kick it over.
Net result: I feel like crap. :D
This helps, if you can believe it. I have been trying to "sneak" small amounts of unhealthy stuff into my daily food, without really thinking about it or worrying about it on more than a small basis, so I just decided to "face the problem head on" and I have figured out that I still don't like junk food.
I've had candy, pizza, and... Umm.. there was some rice, it had peanut butter mixed in to remove any nutritional benefit, lol.

Well, I still feel lousy, but kind of relieved; there's no way I would want to live like this again. I'm going to finish out my day with a 3 musketeers bar :D

Tomorrow, I'll be back on plan; I have a bunch of rice left over, and t will be mixed with veggies and chicken. Mmmmm...
 
:) Whatever works. It's good when you're so used to better food that your taste for junk wanes isn't it?
 
Yeah, I went back to eating normal food today :D and got a ton of exercise in, and had a good time and am TIRED!
I think I only ate about 1000 calories, though. Weirdness.
Maybe 1300 with the latte (I forgot to order sugar free).
Well, it's sleepytime!
 
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you handle the people who want to gush about it? It's not a major problem for me, but it is starting to feel really weird having the same conversation with lots of different people...
If you find out let me know! jeez it gets embarassing and i dunno what to say/do. Even those that saw me just the day before or something keep popping out with 'oh i just cant used to it, you're so skinny!!'
Admittedly ive never been good at dealing with compliments i suppose - never really had any re my weight before lol. I normally go bright red and jut say 'umm thanks' then try and change the subject.
Its weird because back when i was fat i had this idea in my mind i would be strutting around in skimpy clothes and everyone would be in awe of my perfect body and i would be accepting compliments graciously etc ... lol what a dream :D

Maybe we just need to get used to it ... anyway look forward to it - it gets worse! it gets to the 'Oh i didnt recognize you!' stage :/
 
It's great when normal food = healthy food. I feel my own mindset has changed like this too (please stay changed, mindset!).

I hope you are usually getting enough healthy food. :)
 
Normally I eat plenty, Felici. I'm just lucky enough to get an occasional day where I eat less or even a LOT less without noticing it.

I'm still kind of annoyed with how things are now, but you're probably right, Wishes; there isn't anything to be done about it. Well, it could be worse, right? ;)
 
:D Terrific. :D

It's starting to sound like people gushing about your weight loss is the hardest thing you have to cope with right now!! Not a bad thing!!

(I don't suppose that's really true though. :) It's just great to have you on line and nice that you have so much to be positive about just now. )
 
I decided I needed a junk food day, so I have eaten nothing of any nutritional value today. I am over 1000 calories, and just had a slice of pizza to kick it over.
Net result: I feel like crap. :D
This helps, if you can believe it. I have been trying to "sneak" small amounts of unhealthy stuff into my daily food, without really thinking about it or worrying about it on more than a small basis, so I just decided to "face the problem head on" and I have figured out that I still don't like junk food.
I've had candy, pizza, and... Umm.. there was some rice, it had peanut butter mixed in to remove any nutritional benefit, lol.

Well, I still feel lousy, but kind of relieved; there's no way I would want to live like this again. I'm going to finish out my day with a 3 musketeers bar :D

Tomorrow, I'll be back on plan; I have a bunch of rice left over, and t will be mixed with veggies and chicken. Mmmmm...

OMG, I know exactly what you mean! I thought I only did that! Yeah, I thought yesterday with my parents taking us out to the casino buffet that it would be the perfect time! I was soo ill after, it was awful!
 
Well, I haven't lost enough weight for anyone to notice this time, but I have before, and I feel odd when complimented on my weight loss. In part this is because when someone says "haven't you lost a lot of weight! Don't you look good!" what I hear is "My god, weren't you absolutely enormous! Didn't you look awful!".

And partially it's because I hate all the huge social pressure to be slim. HATE it - it doesn't help anyone, in fact I think it actively hurts people and gets them bigger/unhealthier. And when I am complimented on being slimmer, I always feel that people are saying that I have bowed to that pressure, and I want to say "hey! That's not it!"

But that's just me.
 
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...what I hear is "My god, weren't you absolutely enormous! Didn't you look awful!".

And partially it's because I hate all the huge social pressure to be slim. HATE it - it doesn't help anyone, in fact I think it actively hurts people and gets them bigger/unhealthier. And when I am complimented on being slimmer, I always feel that people are saying that I have bowed to that pressure, and I want to say "hey! That's not it!"

But that's just me.
It's NOT just you! That IS how I feel so very often!

That's what pisses me off so often, it's what makes me get annoyed when people notice the difference in my (still very fat) body. I wonder if they are just saying it to give me social validation and encouragement, or if they mean it. I know I have been guilty of that same shit: Telling someone they look great just because I want them to feel good.


Hell, maybe it's just a drunken rambling tonight, I'm feeling antsy and have plowed through a bottle of danish cherry wine rather quickly. Kijafa is the name and I highly recommend it.

I remind people pretty often that I am not really doing this for my health, or for vanity, but I am eating right because it's convenient. No other reason; it's just less of a pain in the ass to eat right than it is to eat poorly and deal with more pills, messed up energy levels, etc.

I swear, if I didn't feel better eating this way, I wouldn't bother.
 
what I hear is "My god, weren't you absolutely enormous! Didn't you look awful!".

And partially it's because I hate all the huge social pressure to be slim. HATE it - it doesn't help anyone, in fact I think it actively hurts people and gets them bigger/unhealthier. And when I am complimented on being slimmer, I always feel that people are saying that I have bowed to that pressure, and I want to say "hey! That's not it!"

But that's just me.

It's NOT just you! That IS how I feel so very often!

That's what pisses me off so often, it's what makes me get annoyed when people notice the difference in my (still very fat) body. I wonder if they are just saying it to give me social validation and encouragement, or if they mean it. I know I have been guilty of that same shit: Telling someone they look great just because I want them to feel good.


Hell, maybe it's just a drunken rambling tonight, I'm feeling antsy and have plowed through a bottle of danish cherry wine rather quickly. Kijafa is the name and I highly recommend it.

I remind people pretty often that I am not really doing this for my health, or for vanity, but I am eating right because it's convenient. No other reason; it's just less of a pain in the ass to eat right than it is to eat poorly and deal with more pills, messed up energy levels, etc.

I swear, if I didn't feel better eating this way, I wouldn't bother.

WOW! I never thought of it that way!! Usually when I'm complimenting someone, it's because I'm envious of how much better they look and wish the same results.
 
I am careful what I say when complimenting someone else who has clearly lost weight - I tend to stick to "you look well" and the person can interpret that themsleves - and they do, I've had answers ranging from "yep, I've lost x no of pounds" to "yeah, I've been working out lately and I feel better for it" to "do I? Must be this new dress/hair cut."

After all, sometimes people lose weight due to stress, or illness, and having people say "wow, you look amazing" in those circumstances must be trying.

Cherry wine? Bleurgh.
 
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It's NOT just you! That IS how I feel so very often!

That's what pisses me off so often, it's what makes me get annoyed when people notice the difference in my (still very fat) body. I wonder if they are just saying it to give me social validation and encouragement, or if they mean it. I know I have been guilty of that same shit: Telling someone they look
great just because I want them to feel good.
Well it's interesting to hear you guys talk about this issue. I think you and 2/3 me have made some good points. I will be more careful about how I approach the subject another time.

I remind people pretty often that I am not really doing this for my health, or for vanity, but I am eating right because it's convenient. No other reason; it's just less of a pain in the ass to eat right than it is to eat poorly and deal with more pills, messed up energy levels, etc.

I swear, if I didn't feel better eating this way, I wouldn't bother.

:D Isn't it great to feel better from eating this way!! I'm really glad that you are. :)
 
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