Qjay's thread

Oh, I am severely depressed, but without insurance there is not much I can do about it. My depression is anxiety related, and I am working on ways of handling that, mostly it is due to my size and inactivity level.
The good news! I went and worked out (with a partner, whoo!) tonight, and we both got our heart rate up for the better part of an hour. Mostly very light weights with a lot of reps, and I did about 10-15 minutes of treadmill time, in addition to the walk there and back (it's in my complex, but I count it!).

I have been working on getting up earlier in the day for a few weeks now, and am usually up around 9-10am, much better than my usual Noon-2 in the afternoon. I've always, always ALWAYS been a night owl, even as a kid, so it's a big change for me.
My day's calories ran a little over 2000, but it's a lot better than I used to eat, so I am just happy to be at or under 2500 most days. I'm going out for Thai food whenever I get up and around, they have this bean thread soup I have been craving for days; good stuff.

No matter how much I know it is good for me, I cannot enjoy the sunshine. I go out in it, and see a lot of people I dislike, just on general principles. Yep, I'm pretty much just "fat, nasty and belligerent", but at least I'm having a good time, right?

If you want to do a little psychological dissection/discussion with me, go ahead and PM me, I don't feel like posting that sort of thing up here and it's not appropriate for this forum. As a marketing major, I have a solid grounding in psychology and want to eventually get my Masters degree in Organizational Psych, so I can discuss it properly and I don't get upset or annoyed. ;)
 
Sorry, I wasn't trying to get into psychological discussion or any kind of psychoanalysis. I'm no shrink.

My point wasn't about psychology but rather about biology: the effect of sunlight -- or the lack of it -- on the pineal gland, which is responsible for producing melatonin, a deficiency of which produces cravings for foods that help restore the melatonin levels. (And interesting to consider that as Americans spend more and more time indoors in front of the TV, computer, etc, and less time doing stuff outdoors in bright sunshine, they/we are eating more, too.)

It was just meant as something tossed out there for you to consider.
 
Hi! Thanks for your posts in my diary! I find it easy to be night owl too. I think I would be except for having to fit in with the rest of the world! :)
 
It's all good, renewal; I wasn't upset. :D
I like the night life, for the most part. I shop when there are no crowds; I don't have to deal with other people at the gym; when I drive, it's never rush hour; and if I need to get anything done during business hours, I have the free time.
It's not perfect, I AM trying to get back on a day schedule as my graduation approaches, but I just like being up at night.

I went over on the food calories today, but I had three meals out, and three snacks in (400-500 calories each, and one of the meals was a truly delicious bean thread soup, lots of veggies and tofu) But I had some less than healthy chinese food for the other two meals out.
I went and worked out again tonight, I had to stop after half an hour because my roomie had exhausted himself and was shaking from it all; but I did get to try some fun stuff. D:
I discovered that I should be able to do chinups again when I get down around 300 lbs, maybe sooner if I keep working my arms and chest, and I can use my legs to press over 400 pounds pretty easily, I maxed out the machine.
Those are a couple of nice little ego boosts and they have me thinking nice thoughts about working out, and excited to go back.
I might not be able to walk a mile quickly, but I still have a lot of good muscle on me, and it is toning up nicely. Just with the "on again, off again" workouts I have been doing, I am able to work out for a good half an hour easily, and 45 minutes if I push it. That's a nice feeling, since everything I do is generally light weights and many, many repetitions.
 
Not doing any workout tonight, but I am definitely in tomorrow night! :D
I had about 1900 calories today, but it was all crap food (pretty much) I had a bubble tea (bad, bad, bad!) and a latte (also bad), but they were because I got stuck at the hospital with a friend and needed something to put down. I also had my normal sandwich in the morning (400 cal), a salad (maybe 200 calories), the latte was 200, I guesstimated the bubbletea at 500, and had 300 cal of almonds, and 300 of crackers (delicious) and I am going to go wrap up my evening with a salmon salad (400). I guess it's not TOO bad, but I REALLY enjoyed that bubbletea, the little tapioca balls are so... mmmm...

Short on sleep and long on caffeine; I think it's bedtime,
 
I hope all is well with your friend after the hospital thing.

Crappy calories make it harder to stick with good plans but it sounds like your calories were in the range you're trying for. I hope tomorrow's workout is good. It really put a smile on my face to read about your experience yesterday. :)
 
Hey Qjay! Hope you're getting caught up on sleep!
and I can use my legs to press over 400 pounds pretty easily, I maxed out the machine.
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DAMN, man! Hunk in progress, huh? whoa.

You GO! :D
 
Qjay said:
I discovered that I should be able to do chinups again when I get down around 300 lbs, maybe sooner if I keep working my arms and chest, and I can use my legs to press over 400 pounds pretty easily, I maxed out the machine.
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Hehee I think fat people have an advantage with this, i mean how much are you leg pressing just to stand up? let alone walking, going up stairs or carrying anything!

I was the same going to the gym, and i didnt wanna loose the muscle i had from normal every day life being fat, so ive kept it up. Now im much slimmer and a girl gets onto the leg press and does better than most guys, they freak! :D
its a great ego buzz eh? :D
 
My friend now has gestational diabetes (again), but she's okay. She has been under a huge amount of stress, with a large dosage of drama; aka her body is protesting.

As for crappeh calories, I just figure I eat enough with my 2000 calorie day, that I won't worry about anything that's a little off. I'm going to head off and work out again tonight, and I am NOT hunky! Not even in training, lol.

So I went out for a farewell party tonight, had a good time, and stuck with diet soda the whole time, except for the round of shots. Talked with a few of the girlies, had a good time, and snacked on some beef jerky when I got the munchies. It was a good time :D

I think I'll go make some salmon salad and have a sandwich. Mmmm...


PS Wishes! J00 posted while I was typing! Yeah, it is a nice ego boost, and I almost forgot to mention it, but I am down another notch on my belt, for 3 total since this time last month.
I only have 2 more to go until I have to cut another one ;) I've had this belt for several years now, and the last hole has never been used, I had to add new ones many times, though.
Keep your finners crossed for me!
 
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Good to hear your friend is ok. As you know I had gestational diabetes, but it was not too difficult for me. Sticking to the food plan I was given was enough to keep my sugars good.

It sounds like you are doing really well! Your food sounds good, you partied carefully, off to the gym, having fun...
and down another belt notch!!! Too cool!! :D
 
WTG on the the belt notch! It is great being able to have these non scale visualizations to see how far we've come!!
 
Qjay said:
PS Wishes! J00 posted while I was typing! Yeah, it is a nice ego boost, and I almost forgot to mention it, but I am down another notch on my belt, for 3 total since this time last month.
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Horay! Thats awesome!
 
Qjay said:
I am down another notch on my belt, for 3 total since this time last month. I only have 2 more to go until I have to cut another one ;)
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That is SO great! In a month! Congrats Qjay! Your plan of attack is working well, and there's your proof:D
 
Thanks :D
So here is the ad I am seeing right now:

What would you do with a year's supply of CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM?

I really hate internet advertising sometimes...
 
Strangely I find the idea (not the reality) of crappy food is kind of a turn off now.

I hope you have a great day. (I think you have a new one starting soon) :)
 
Good for you!!

Social settings are so hard to behave at. They usually have the best worst food and with a happy environment, everyone is just shoveling it in.

I wish I could say the crappy food was a turn off, but I still love it. There is some that after I eat it, I say it really wasn't worth the calories/fat. Those ones I have no trouble turning down.

Congrats on the belt holes! I haven't lost a size yet. My one pair of jeans that fit are actually comfortable now. My stomach fat isn't squeezed every which way.

Keep up the good work!
 
Yeah, internet advertising isn't quite all it's cracked up to be ;)

Hmmm...I wonder how much chocolate ice cream I could SELL in a year!
 
Greedy, greedy, M2M!

It may be because I am still unsure about my ultimate weight loss goals and it may be that my fear of success is kicking and screaming like a madman, but when I go out to a party, or over to a friend's place for dinner, out to lunch, etc, etc... I just eat a little bit of what is there, find the best stuff to gnaw on (the best blend of healthy and delicious, that is) and I have some of it. Even if I have TOO MUCH of it, it's only a one-time thing and it is actually good for me.

I used to do the same thing, back even before I decided to lose weight again. The difference is that now I pay a little more attention to the caloric content, and I also quit going out on a binge afterwards, when nobody could see.
I still hit the fast food places, but only for a side salad, so I can come home and and make something I KNOW is good for me.

It's tough, but that occassional post-"I looked like I ate normal amounts of healthy food at the party" binge was really bringing me down. It would be the worst, because I was generally alone, on a fairly long drive home, and I'd basically do the "I'm so weak" pity party for myself as an excuse to order a whopper and onion rings, or whatever I felt like getting. Then the next day, I had to deal with all sorts of mental BS and self-recrimination and other nastiness... I'm finding it easier to trick myself into binging on food that won't do much damage.

That said, I am eating like a bird! Pounds of lettuce, handfulls of sunflower seeds or nuts, 12 grain bread... I'm wondering if I should get myself some suet and try THAT out.

Hey, what do you folks think of fried cheese? Take a serving or two of cheddar and toss it into a frying pan, then watch the fat and oil melt out of it. I'm trying to guesstimate how much of the bad stuff comes out when it's prepared that way, because it really retains it's cheesy flavor, and it pretty much has to be a fried food that is actually healthier than the original :p

My mom used to do it when I was younger, and I am really starting to crave cheese. I've made it this way before, but... well, it's CHEESE, and I know it's pretty unhealthy.
 
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