Petals diary

Yeah I’m stuck in a real rut job wise . I don’t really have the confidence in one way to go looking but at least I know I have a choice to look next year if I need to . I have a fear of public speaking and our friend is going to coach me in that if and when I want to do it . He is a lecturer and a mentor and is used to helping with things .

Hmm just for you Rob


 
Petal001 said:
I have a fear of public speaking and our friend is going to coach me in that if and when I want to do it .
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In my career I have done a lot of public speaking, and I must be good at it or I wouldn't be asked back. But I have to tell you that doesn't keep me from fearing it. I always stressed about it ahead of time, some times a lot, and was more or less terrified whilst doing it. I think you can use the fear to focus, it probably helps. Getting coaching from a friend is a good thing, it will help, but don't let the fear stop you. One of the things I did once I decided to retire is to start turning down all speaking invitations, it feels good.

Thanks for the video, but I suspect you don't look much like Elmo or his friends!
 
Hahah no Rob I don’t at all .

Thanks for sharing that with me about your fear . I will need to address it if I decide to go job hunting
 
Petal001 said:
Thanks for sharing that with me about your fear . I will need to address it if I decide to go job hunting
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I think you'll find it easier than not bingeing.

I remember my first time, it was speaking at a conference 40 years ago. Just in a small session, nothing big. I committed to doing it months ahead and wrung my hands the whole time. In the last month before the conference I thought of little else. Looking back now that seems silly, but I still get those same feelings. A coach will help, that is a good idea, but remember that fear should not stop you, it will probably help.
 
Yes Rob !! Had a flutter of it this afternoon very windy . It seems calmer but it’s the west coast getting the brunt . We are very lucky that the centre is out to sea . I think it will be a rough enough night though .

Made a chicken curry this eve . I cut an apple and some pineapple in my bowl , small bit of rice and a few spoons of curry . Was very tasty and filling .
 
Rob regarding the public speaking well I feel the exact same . It’s a horrible feeling . I have frozen on a couple of occasions . I used to be ok but got worse and worse . I don’t know why . I will tackle the problem if I need too .
 
I hate, no I loathe public speaking. Really knowing my stuff helps but it's always unpleasant. I don't mind all the people staring at me but at some level I'm always scared I'll be exposed as an absolute fraud or something. Silly, but nobody said fear was rational.
 
Of all the things in the world to be scared of I am scared of speaking in front of other people more than I am scared of anything else. Unlike snakes & sharks & spiders, people won't bite you, but my fear is large & I have never overcome it. I have never really tried either. Having some coaching would help I think, Petal to give you the confidence to start looking for another job next year. It can't hurt.
Just setting the tone for happy dances xoxo
 
Might there be public speaking in a new job, Petal, or is this more to develop boldness generally, which would obviously have impact on the job front, whether in situ, or in looking for a new one?

I really liked the sound of your stormy night's evening meal curry meal with fruit feature - the night must be over, by the time you read this, though. I hope the storm has blown itself out, and there's no branches down etc where you live. Cheers! :)
 
It’s amazing how many of us fear public speaking . Makes me feel ill .

I just thought it might help if I had job interviews. They are all so more formal nowadays . I hope i never have to public speak again .

Saw one tree down Amy . It’s still a bit gusty here .
 
Glad the storm didn't do more damage. Maybe practising actual interviews with your friend might help?
 
I guess we have learned that most of us fear and loath public speaking; some comfort that we are not alone. Its interesting my only public speaking engagement I did not fear going in was one where I knew almost nothing about what I was talking about. I was going to a big conference in Bangkok, two of us from the company were supposed to go. My colleague was supposed to present a paper on air quality in Beijing, at the last minute he had to cancel and sent me his notes and slides along with a request that I present his talk. I knew nothing about his work, and not much about air quality or Beijing. So I just decided to be honest and tell the audience what happened and that I would just be reading someone else's notes. It seemed to take my responsibility away and once I decided that it seemed to take my apprehension away. In the end I got more complements and attention from that presentation than I did from my own.

Glad you didn't blow away. Growing up on the Gulf (of Mexico) coast I learned from an early age to follow hurricanes, and can tell you the paths of a lot of historical storms. It wasn't until relatively recently that I discovered they impacted your part of the world. Our weather services are pretty good at tracking and reporting threats and impacts to North and Central America, but once the storms are past Canada they drop off. I had to go to the BBC to find out what Lorenzo was doing to y'all.

The chicken curry sounds good!
 
Petal001 said:
I hope i never have to public speak again .
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Oh no no no. This is not the attitude. Get back on that horse!

I like to think about presentations as my one chance to speak without being interrupted. I know people can ask questions, but it is your one time to say whatever it is you want to say and have people mostly try to listen to you. It's mostly an information and knowledge sharing thing, but since most people loathe them, if you are any way impressive at all, they will be on your side, no matter what your clothing or posture or the tone of your voice. I also think there is something really endearing about people being nervous and showing vulnerability, so if it goes that way, they will be rooting for you even more.

My last thought on this is something I saw on one of those Mind Valley videos - it's all about fear of rejection. 'If this doesn't go well, my tribe will reject me, and I will be fed to the wolves.' But of course there are very few wolves roaming around right now, and most people will go right back to their phone and emails and won't give you and your presentation a second thought.

HAVING SAID THAT - I also hate them. Haha. But these are things that help me.
 
Interesting thoughts there Rob and Em . That's cool Rob it seems you have got to travel all over the world with your work. I'm guessing you are a very highly sought after engineer. Em I'm guessing you do a lot of presentations . Perhaps it's something I will never have to do again but if I do I will get help. LaMa yes my friend would definitely help me re interviews . I am not going to worry about it all now as a lot on for the next 10 months and then I will assess all. Thanks for all the input everyone it's great.
 
I don’t actually but I was meant to do a big one in the summer, so I was trying to psyche myself up. It was cancelled. I was happy, lol.
 
Hi Petal - I also deplore public speaking, although I don't think of interviews as that.

Nice on losing the weight!
 
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