Pequin Weight Journal

M is on a roll today with this great advice...but isn't she always. I ditto everything she said. I need to remember and internalize some of that myself.
 
Heyas PEQ,
I am glad you got lot's of rest! That will
help make your day go smoother! I absoulutley can not speak in front
of groups of people I know and don't know! I felt so bad telling my
lil girl when she asked me to come up to school and read a book outloud
in front of her class it took me back to my school days when I would skip
days that had that! I feel like I am haveing an anxiety attack.
Even a 1 on 1 job interview I stutter badly palms sweat it's crazy wish I
could get rid of my problem with that.
Good luck to ya and your resumes I am sure some1 would love to have
you on there job team!:D
It's warm out yay walking in store? Have a wonderful Wedsday!Tammy:)
 
Quick question can I freeze the rest of the pumpkin pie and it taste good
when I thaw for Turkey daY? Tammy
 
MILLIONS WILL DIE BECAUSE OF THIS TOILET PAPER WAD!!!!!'

odds are no one noticed, or if they did, it wasn't a big deal. They're too worried about what they said wrong, or did or didn't do.

Good story, good advice from tri.

I'm thinking about calling my doc to refer me to a therapist to talk about my social anxiety. I've flirted with the idea for a while now but it hit me yesterday on my walk - nervous is fine, everyone gets nervous... but I shouldn't be wrecked for days just because I might have to have a real life social encounter. Most days, you guys get to see the real me, the one that I take to see my good friend & my closer family members (like my niece who calls me 'the cool aunt'). My life would be so much fuller if I could take that fun & outgoing Amy everywhere with me.

I was so shy in junior high that my mom, the principal, and the counselor got together to try to fix me. They thought if they put me in speech class (where all the drama people and extroverts hung out), that it'd bring me out of my shell. What a nightmare!!!! That sure backfired. Anyway, at home I was comfortable and I had a good friend two doors down. When I was at either of those places, I'd be friendly to other kids who called or came over. At school I'd be back to square one, super shy. One friend and one boy I liked called me "shy but not at home patty".

Pepper girl, do what you got to do. See a counselor if you want. It may help. Or get lots of practice!!!! Talk to people in line at the grocery store, the book store, wherever. Not necessarily even guys you'd like, but EVERYONE. Young, old, male, female. Get practice on everyone. And boy will they respond to your personality, and that will puff you up.
 
Well, you know I struggle with shyness an agoraphobia. And therapy is a very personal decision but I think if you feel that your shyness has reached a point that it is interferring with your quality of life its time to book an appointment. Just remember to be firm about your feelings about drugs and seeing a "therapist" instead of a "psychiatrist" is the key there..."psychiatrists" are all about drug therapies, therapists have a more...organic...approach to things. I see a therapist regularly due to the emotional demands of my job and I've also used therapy to address the issues I had after leaving my abusive ex husband. Its hard work though, it really is.

oh, and tammy, that pie should be fine as long as you seal it up good and it doesn't get freezer burned...pumpkin pies are great for freezing.
 
Thanks Patty & Iwan. When/if I call the Dr. I'll make sure that I make that clear, no drugs!! I think I need to think about it some more. Everyone raises such great points!! Gosh I lurve you guys sooo mcuh!! ;):D:D
 
Hey :) thanks for posting on my diary, I thrive on encouragment :p No, really I do a lot better when I have a ton of people behind me rooting for me. I'm impressed at how much weight you've lost! I've always had a hard time sticking to a diet for more than two seconds but you must be really working to have lost as much as you have! (I know it looks likeI've lost about as much as you but half of that was baby, placenta, and amniotic fluid, lol!) Good job and keep up the hard work!
 
No but honestly I don't think you have a disorder, just inexpirence. The more you interact and what not, the more comfortable you'll be. Its definitely not that oyu don't have anything to say, because you are very entertaining and interesting on these boards.

I agree with my stalker.

Amy, you're a fantastic person.... FGT brings up a lot of great points that I too can relate to. For the longest time I was worried what I must look like... Then I became a television producer and I was forced to become vocal, and assert myself... I still get nervous, but I'm not scared shitless. I have faith that you'll come out of your sexy little shell in due time with or without a thearapist.
 
My daughter had a problem with shyness, so we talked it over. And basicly she said she felt incapacitated and couldnt talk in front of her class etc. I asked her why, and eventually it came down to fear. She was afraid she would screw up and everyone would laugh for some reason or other (kinda like the dream where you realize you're not wearing any clothes for some reason and everyone laughs at you). So we went through every day every single situation we could.
"What if you messed up the words?"
"what if you farted?" etc etc
She eventually realized that most of the time the class would have a laugh but it wasnt a laugh AT her, but simply at the act. And we also went through how somebody laughing at you wasnt really bad when you compare it to something like being run over, or loosing a limb. Eventually we got her to the realization that the fear was out of potion with the event. I tell you now though, this did not help her shyness at all. It changed her outlook. She was scared but did it anyway, which is a great improvement over being scared and not doing things.

Shes gone from running away from the ball at hockey to being asked back because she was the best in the team. Shes still shy and gets fearful but she now knows how to put it into perportion, and do things anyway dispite it :)
 
Ah, shyness--I know it well.

From my dad I learned that 95% of the planet were losers and jerks.
From my mom I learned that everybody's attention was always focused on me.

Man, what a hard combination to stick a kid with. I used to be afraid to call back on job interviews because I didn't think I was worthy or that I'd be a bother. Dating has been really hard for much of my life because the combination of having to rely on a girl to make the first move and so much extra weight that few girls would.

However, somewhere along the way around age 30 I reallized I liked myself. I was darn good company and great fun to be around. I finally convinced myself I was worthy of being happy. You can do this too and therapy can help. Any theapist worth anything will not attempt to treat social anxiety with drugs if you let them know that's not what you want.

From what I've seen you're an amazing person. You just have to learn that yourself and really believe it. When you do others will see it too.
 
Thank you again everyone for the great advice. I feel such a huge debt to everyone, thank you doesn't seem like enough. Yall Rock!!

Right now is kind of a time of self awareness. Its all so new to me, it gets overwhelming. Its good to have the support of everyone and yall are so nice it makes me teary eyed to read all the comments. You gave me a lot to think about. I'll get it all figured out when it's time.


I saw the funniest looking dog on my walk today. I wish I would have had my camera phone on me. It was a Golden Retriever. Kind of old with white hairs on its face and muzzle. The top of his head had really short hairs, like a buzz cut but then he had these really long, fine hairs that stuck straight up on top of his head.

I swear to god the dog looked like he had hair plugs!!! I had to do a double take. He just looked at me like what the effin hell is your problem lady?! I had the urge to tell him it looked very natural ...lol

Better numbers today. I'll get them back up to range tomorrow. I feel so much better tonight. Last night I felt so sick. I must make a mental note on how badly the low calories effects everything.

Food & Activity:
Breakfast: can of tomato soup with 9 crackers
Lunch:roast beef sammich on a kaiser roll with horseradish sauce
Supper: Stouffer's Sweet & Sour Chicken Skillet, so gross!! It left a waxy residue in my mouth. Bleh.

Totals:
Calories (Goal 1640 - 1990): 1,110
Carbs (Goal 184 - 323): 164
Fat (Goal 36 - 77): 26
Protein (Goal 41 - 174): 59

Water: 104oz.
Exercise: 2 miles!! Woohooo!! But I wore my old shoes so I got some nasty blisters to show for it.
 
amy, congrats on the two miles.... you so totally rock (I think of the turtle from Finding nemo when I say that lol)
Anywho, I just wanted to wish you a good day. Eat a little more to get those calories up girl.
 
Mornin' everyone!! :D:D:D
I'm making myself eat some yogurt for breakfast... but really, I just dont want the stuff. It's one of those days where I wish I didnt have to eat. Like its a big hassle. Guess I need to get some of those instant breakfast drinks and just suck it up. I wish they'd hurry up and make those space aged meal in a tablet thingys I always saw in those old sci-fi shows. Those would soo rock today... I want my hover car too dangit. ..lol

But as much as the eating parts sucks - I'm not going to let this be a bad day.

Today will be a good day.
 
Mornin' everyone!! :D:D:D
I'm making myself eat some yogurt for breakfast... but really, I just dont want the stuff. It's one of those days where I wish I didnt have to eat. Like its a big hassle. Guess I need to get some of those instant breakfast drinks and just suck it up. I wish they'd hurry up and make those space aged meal in a tablet thingys I always saw in those old sci-fi shows. Those would soo rock today... I want my hover car too dangit. ..lol

But as much as the eating parts sucks - I'm not going to let this be a bad day.

Today will be a good day.

LOL @ the meal in a pill comment. Some days I kinda wish that myself. As for the yogurt, what type do you have? I LOOOOOVE the Yoplait Light (fat free) Harvest Peach! OMG I could eat a tub of it!!

Sorry your day is feeling like a bit of a struggle, I'll be sending positive vibes your way sista!! *hugs*
 
I'm eating Breyer's Creme Savers Orange & Cream Swirl... it's sickly sweet. But I got it down, by god!!..lol
 
I'm eating Breyer's Creme Savers Orange & Cream Swirl... it's sickly sweet. But I got it down, by god!!..lol

I used to eat Breyers but stopped b/c it was too many cals for me BUT the blueberry cremesavers OMG! SO much better than the orange. Check it out!
 
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