My niece had her 16th birthday party today, I did so well -only had 1 small piece of cake and NO ice cream, drank only water and stayed far FAR away for the southern style sweet tea... but that's where my day stopped being good and I was drop in the middle of my own white hot slice of hell.
I'll spare you the gory details and just give you a nice mental snap shot:
The mall, sullen crabby spoiled teenager with an attitude on a birthday cake high who wants new clothes but doesn't want to spend her birthday money, my sister (aka: the evil stepmother

) who is also crabby and sporting a lovely attitude all her own, THE MALL where other sullen crabby spoiled teenagers congregate on Sundays and me, the innocent bystander who just wanted to get out of the house for the afternoon and didn't wear sensible shoes.
I was so happy to get home and away from the pissy looks and snotty comments (from the kid & the sister!) and take off those so-dang-cute-but-oh-so-uncomfy-for-walking shoes
I think I walked a whole mall mile!! Or at least that's what my feet say. Pfffft... some 'rest day'.
I'm thinking about getting a part-time job at a local bakery. They've had a help wanted sign up off and on for the past 2 weeks... this gives me pause because either a: the hours suck or b: the bosses suck... either way I'm getting major suckage vibes...
BUT I love to cook especially baking. BUT I have no self control... BUT I want to get some cash to pay for Xmas and to start saving up to get my BA in Fine Arts.... BUT (and this is a big one) .... i'm scared
So much on the middle of the fence right now - I'm giving myself a wedgie!!
And you're asking yourself - scared??? why!? Welp kidos - with that stinkin
CFS that i mentioned earlier I've been sick off and on for 10 years and haven't been able to work or attend much school and with all this exercising and eating right and a bit of timing to go with it - I'm actually feeling better. (I probably just jinxed it...lol) To add to everything I have a bit of social anxiety/awkwardness and I haven't had a job out in the public since 1998.
I feel pretty stupid for being scared and for putting things off for so long. And I know that if I get sick then I quit and try again later and if I don't get sick then woohoo... oy.. my mind is a complicated place sometimes.
Any advice?
So here's my food today:
Brunch: 3 blueberry pancakes, 3 slices of bacon
Snack: 1 thin slice of birthday cake
Super: Roast with a baked potato & gravy, salad
Snack: 3T. artichoke hummus, 1 stalk of celery & 10 mini toasts (love!

)
Totals:
CALORIES: 1,268
CARBS: 172
FAT: 42
PROTEIN: 54
Water: 108oz
Exercise: None free day
Wow! that turned out to be a long winded post!! If you're still reading - congratulations, I owe you a beer!! lol