People criticizing for losing weight...

S

slickg

New member
Just out of curiosity to those of you who are losing a good portion of weight I was wondering if you have the same problem I do. I didn't realize there are some annoyances that actually go along with losing weight, obviously the positives outweigh the negatives but still some annoying issues...like....

A) I've had a few people who think I'm sick just because I've lost 45 lbs. I have to reiterate that the weight loss was intentional. For some reason just because a person wants to lose weight they are considered to be either sick or dying to some people despite an increase in lean muscle mass. I even had someone with the nerve of asking me if I had (and I quote) "The Big C".

B) I have family members saying that I'm getting "too skinny" and they try to feed me excessively at parties, etc. i.e. they keep trying to put more and more food in front of me lately. I don't know if I'm over analyzing but it just feels that way. I've even had some of them ask me why I keep exercising since I've lost all the weight already.

I guess I can get off my soapbox now. I just had to vent a little. Most people have been extremely positive with my weight loss and I've gotten massive kudos so the positives far outweigh any negatives for sure. This post is in no way meant to discourage people from losing weight as it is one of the best things I have done in my life! I just simply wanted to see if anyone else experiences these minor annoyances.
 
At first, people were extremely supportive with my weight loss. They said I made it look so easy and had increased energy and confidence. When I hit about 135ish, my co-workers (I worked at a deli at the time) said that I had lost enough and that I looked perfect at that weight and shouldn't lose anymore. I disagreed, obviously. So they'd bring in stuff to work that they knew I liked...like the one woman made the best sugar cookies ever, I swear she started to make them twice a week, instead of once a month like she was doing before. It was so aggravating.

Then when I gain anything or look and feel bloated, my mother tells me I need to lose weight. So I become more strict with my diet and she starts making all of my favorite things for dinner...and when I refuse to eat them and make my own grilled chicken and broccoli she gets offended and mad. I can't win!

But the positives outweigh the negatives...I've just learned to deal with people that try to feed me excessively and my Mom's crazy ways.

By the way slick, what's "The Big C?"
 
I have so much to lose that nobody asks me if I'm ill, but everybody I talked to suspected that I am on some sort of weight loss drugs. Kinda makes me angry that they automatically assume something like that, as if weight loss without drugs isn't possible! :(

And I was on the phone with my aunt who hasn't seen me for a long time, and I told her that I had lost over 100 lbs, and she was like 'What? Why? Are you ill?' *lol*....guess that was because she was always onto me to lose weight, and I never did it. So she probably gave up hope that I would ever do it.

Other than that I can't complain. I haven't been around my family since I started losing weight though. I'll see them in summer, so then I'll see how annoying they'll get....*lol*
 
People don't criticize; I've had some women start to react negatively to me since I've started to look good, but I think they're just jealous.

The thing that pisses me off is people accusing me of having had weight loss surgery. I did think about it but in the end I decided not to, mostly because it's so freaking expensive and I didn't want my diet to be restricted.
 
I get it all the time..... Non-stop!

But,

I am in China. Here fat doesn't mean unhealthy, especially for a man. For men being overweight means strong and well fed, therefore rich and good marriage prospects. Plus in a country where most have generally in the past been rail thin, it makes you different from everyone else.

However, that sure is changing. More and more seriously obese people here everyday..... Soon they may stop telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight and instead ask me how they can do the same...

sirant
 
I am so glad you posted this, I can totally relate. I have certain people at my work that talk about my weight-loss on a daily basis, saying "congrats," "keep up the work," "oh, you still eat those things?" etc... It was a very nice gesture at first, but it's been going on for weeks now... EVERYDAY! Yes, I was fat... now I'm not. Let's move on.

One lady at work came up and asked me if I had lost weight. I said, "yes, around 50 pounds." Her reply "well, did you do it on purpose?"

I have a big problem with people telling me that I am thin enough and I don't need to lose anymore pounds. This drives me crazy! It's my body, and it still has a layer of fat on it that I WILL lose, regardless of your opinion. They also make it their personal mission to ensure that I am eating enough, because clearly I had to develop an ED to lose the weight. ugh.

wow - I totally just went on a little rant, sorry!
 
txsqlchick said:
People don't criticize; I've had some women start to react negatively to me since I've started to look good, but I think they're just jealous.

The thing that pisses me off is people accusing me of having had weight loss surgery. I did think about it but in the end I decided not to, mostly because it's so freaking expensive and I didn't want my diet to be restricted.
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A rumor went around about me in my hometown that I had a tummy tuck. I was like DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN KNOW WHAT A TUMMY TUCK IS? Considering they claimed that a tummy tuck is how I lost 40 lbs...I'm like uhhh that's what I'd get after I had already lost weight IF I had sagging skin in my tummy area, which I don't. At least they could educate themselves before they started a rumor that ended up making them look dumb, not me. Ughhh.
 
Ok, so I'm definitely not the only one who experiences this. I was beginning to get extremely annoyed and frustrated! I mean I was beginning to question if I was really looking sick or something...it gets in your head.
 
My theory is that people have trouble with change. Especially if they think they've got you safely categorized. When people start acting outside of their expectations they freak out and try to get things back to 'normal'. Or at least back in their comfort zones. I suspect it says something about their own levels of self esteem and confidence if they have such a negative reaction though.
 
Yeeeeees!! Omg, this problem is sooooo annoying. Those who are closest to me fully support me and know what and how I'm doing. But there are The Others.

It's like, if you say you're on a diet, people suddenly think you've become anorexic! And then they take it upon themselves to put the meat back on the skin for you. God, I hate being around my boyfriend's parents (especially grandparents) when I'm dieting because they're truly the worst. My boyfriend lost about 30lbs being with me (not even on purpose! Hmph!) so now his BMI is at a healthy 24, but his parents are insisting that he's getting too thin (which he could stand to lose maybe 10lbs more--but he is pretty darn sexy as is) and try to stuff food down his throat whenever we hook up.
 
Jeanette401 said:
My theory is that people have trouble with change. Especially if they think they've got you safely categorized. When people start acting outside of their expectations they freak out and try to get things back to 'normal'. Or at least back in their comfort zones. I suspect it says something about their own levels of self esteem and confidence if they have such a negative reaction though.
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I was going to say basically the same thing. Most of the time people are trying to hint at other people close to them to lose weight and that person doesn't do it right away. I don't think people believe things until they see it. And when it happens, they're shocked and maybe can't handle it. Jealousy maybe.

I've been told mostly that I look great. But then there's always that one person who has to point something out that just seems negative. Whatever.
 
Argh I hate that. I lived with a flat full of girls who were judgmental without trying to be. When I tried to lose weight last year and lost about 10 kg, one would say 'That's your healthy weight, you shouldn't lose more' and another said 'I don't notice the change... you look the same'. But I noticed she started going out for more walks and such afterwards. It was just such a bitter comment!

Other times they would be baking and do the whole 'Oh one cookie won't hurt!' and try to force feed me stuff like that. It got old fast!
 
Great post.

I have heard everything and my usual response:

-You look too skinny. (I feel good)

-You must have had surgery. (Nope all on my own) (my inner voice is saying, hey F you, pal!)

-Do you ever eat? (i probably eat more than you)

-Oh, you can't eat that. (I can eat whatever i want)

-All you ever talk about is weight loss ( No, if I'm asked I'll talk about it)

-You must have a lot of loose skin. (my loose skin looks better than fat filled skin)

The surgery question drives me up a F'in wall.

I honestly think people are jealous and they want someone to share their misery with. If they share their shit food with someone then they feel batter about themselves.

Like I said if someone asks about weight loss and they want to talk about it, i can talk for hours. I would help anyone that wants or needs help.

Matt
 
slickg said:
Just out of curiosity to those of you who are losing a good portion of weight I was wondering if you have the same problem I do. I didn't realize there are some annoyances that actually go along with losing weight, obviously the positives outweigh the negatives but still some annoying issues...like....

A) I've had a few people who think I'm sick just because I've lost 45 lbs. I have to reiterate that the weight loss was intentional. For some reason just because a person wants to lose weight they are considered to be either sick or dying to some people despite an increase in lean muscle mass. I even had someone with the nerve of asking me if I had (and I quote) "The Big C".

B) I have family members saying that I'm getting "too skinny" and they try to feed me excessively at parties, etc. i.e. they keep trying to put more and more food in front of me lately. I don't know if I'm over analyzing but it just feels that way. I've even had some of them ask me why I keep exercising since I've lost all the weight already.

I guess I can get off my soapbox now. I just had to vent a little. Most people have been extremely positive with my weight loss and I've gotten massive kudos so the positives far outweigh any negatives for sure. This post is in no way meant to discourage people from losing weight as it is one of the best things I have done in my life! I just simply wanted to see if anyone else experiences these minor annoyances.
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I've definately dealt with the family members trying to push and aggrivate (besides my mother who seems to be the only one who "gets it")

As far as other people, they've commented "Oh you're so skinny!"
but yet they're the people who used to make fun of me in school.

So glad highschool is over. hahah. :ack2:
 
San said:
but everybody I talked to suspected that I am on some sort of weight loss drugs.
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Yeah...I've gotten that I was on DRUGS. not just weight loss drugs. Like crack and shit. which made me REALLY mad. That's becasue my brother had a past dabbling in drugs, but honestly I never touched them besides a few pot smoking encounters. okay a few like 10. But that's not the point. I never took anything that made me not want to eat. hahaha. =P
 
Ok so I am sorry if any of you have seen me say this b4, because compared to alot of other's on here, I am still slender. I guess I feel I am in the average category now, trying to get back to what I once was.

This is the opposite side of the spectrum. I'd always been tall and quite slender. To me the word Skinny, is like saying Fat. My whole life I was critiqued by average builds and obese ppl. Ppl always said, "oh she must be anorexic", You need to eat more, she probably doesn't eat anything, we'll plump you up, skinny bitch, things must come easier for you in life", family, friends, strangers, mostly bigger ppl. AND it's not supposed to hurt, because I am supposed to have confidence, but it did/does, and I wanted to plz them, so I started stuffing myself with alot of junk, nothing happened, not until a few years down the line, where I happen to be where I am today.

I am sorry I get on such a hate tangent, I just would like ppl to plz take into consideration that the pendulum swings both ways. :ack2: This is a good thread, it's interesting to see that even ppl whom have lost alot of weight and still need to lose some, get told by other's that they should stop losing. So I guess it just puts it into a better perspective for me, to try and remember to consider the source.
 
RunningGirl;600009it's interesting to see that even ppl whom have lost alot of weight and still need to lose some said:
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This is an interesting point, one that I personally get a lot. I think people were so use to the fact that I was a large person they can't fathom that I aspire to be a thin person. Not just thin for a 'big guy' but truly lean. I am in the mid 180's now and (with my clothes on) look slender-ish.

For my height I still have weight to lose, and lots of body fat to lose.

People always ask, "so, are you done losing?" or "how much more are you planning to lose?" Whenever I say '15-20 pounds' they instantly start to rant about how I will be too thin... I will 'waste away'... they can 'blow my over'... I will have a 'pencil neck.' They also ask "well, where are you going to lose it FROM?" I just want to pull my shirt up in the middle of the office, grab that chunk of fat that still sits around my mid section and say "from here, damnit - now back the f*&^ OFF!"

Anyone else experience this?
 
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Ok not make to light of a situation but dwwise if you do that please set up a camera and record that for me cause I really want to see the persons face when you do. I haven't lost much weight but I do get people asking me if I ever eat cause I drink shakes for breakfast and as a snack at night then it small portions during the day. I guess a lot of people just need to see what an actual serving size is. I eat close to 1700 cals a day but in small portions at a time so if you only see me eat once I guess it would look like I didn't eat a lot.
 
I would say that most of my friends are supportive, I do have one friend, who phoned me up out the blue and said"OMG Michelle you need to turn to channel (whatever) and look at this tv show. This woman who was really hugely obese has lost all of her weight and he skin is hanging all over. It is disgusting, how could she even get there."
So, i reluctantly turned to the channel and I weighed more that she did before losing the weight.
One of my biggest issues has been how my body is changing as the fat leaves (loose skin, belly hanging) So, her comments were quite devastating to me.
In her defense, she doesn't see me that way (4billion pounds) give or take a couple, But, in my defense, she needs to think before she opens her mouth.
Michelle
 
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