ALL the time now that I've lost weight, I get "You look sick!" and "Stop losing weight!" I haven't lost a pound since before Thanksgiving, but people are constantly commenting on how thin I'm still getting and how I need to stop. And women...gosh. They're the worst! I found out this morning my co-worker (in an office of three) has been telling people I've had weight loss surgery. I haven't, and she knows. She just hates that she's not the "Thin girl" in the office anymore and I'm getting attention now.
People criticizing for losing weight...
- Thread starter slickg
- Start date
usedtobefatmatt
New member
Ok so I am sorry if any of you have seen me say this b4, because compared to alot of other's on here, I am still slender. I guess I feel I am in the average category now, trying to get back to what I once was.
This is the opposite side of the spectrum. I'd always been tall and quite slender. To me the word Skinny, is like saying Fat. My whole life I was critiqued by average builds and obese ppl. Ppl always said, "oh she must be anorexic", You need to eat more, she probably doesn't eat anything, we'll plump you up, skinny bitch, things must come easier for you in life", family, friends, strangers, mostly bigger ppl. AND it's not supposed to hurt, because I am supposed to have confidence, but it did/does, and I wanted to plz them, so I started stuffing myself with alot of junk, nothing happened, not until a few years down the line, where I happen to be where I am today.
I am sorry I get on such a hate tangent, I just would like ppl to plz take into consideration that the pendulum swings both ways.This is a good thread, it's interesting to see that even ppl whom have lost alot of weight and still need to lose some, get told by other's that they should stop losing. So I guess it just puts it into a better perspective for me, to try and remember to consider the source.
I completely agree that it works both ways. This argument can probably be about any two opposites. I guess it is more of the behavior of the person making the comments than the actual comment. (if that makes sense). Sometimes people need to think before they speak and not try to interpret what i'm going though or what might make me feel good.
Matt
Jeanette401
New member
It doesn't happen too often - but I no longer give people a target number. I simply hold up my arm, jiggle the flab and go "Til the arm flab is gone". I don't know if lifting your shirt and grabbing the tummy flab is an option for you, but it might be! To date, no one has tried to insist that arm chub is attractive
G
Guest
Guest
Ah I used to ask them if they'd like to see it, and they'd roll their eyes at me and move there body away. So even though it doesn't matter proving something like that to a person whom DOESN'T know what they're talking about anyways. They just WON'T GET IT, NO MATTER WHAT.
Now I just lift up my top, and go SEEEEEE!!! What's THIS??? Ok so with that I've lost the battle...., so now I get comment's like (I forgot about these) well you're wearing low-cut- tight pants, that make your tummy stick out. LOL Oh and the other day I got, that's HEALTHY, you should have a tummy. I think a lot of the problem is that people don't think before they speak or they are just filled with negative energy. Some people will never be happy and they NEED to put other people down. The same person that is going to say you are too fat is the same person that is going to say you are too skinny when you lose the weight. It's really a no win situation when it comes to those individuals.
They simply will blurt out whatever is the first thing that comes out of their minds disregarding peoples' feelings. The hardest yet most important part of this equation is to shut these people's comments out and ignore them. It's A LOT easier said than done but a necessity to maintain your sanity. There will always be haters out there no matter what unfortunately....
They simply will blurt out whatever is the first thing that comes out of their minds disregarding peoples' feelings. The hardest yet most important part of this equation is to shut these people's comments out and ignore them. It's A LOT easier said than done but a necessity to maintain your sanity. There will always be haters out there no matter what unfortunately....
sinui
0
The feeling I get sometimes from people commenting on "you're fine as you are, don't loose anymore" when you clearly are normal but you know, need to loose those extra wobbly bits is that they are jealous. They don't want you to look better than them. They're okay and supportive with you getting from obese to average, they start whining and telling you off when you are trying to look fit and lean. I think jealousy is part of it.
As for family, it's ironical how my mother says "you're fine now" when she herself was a damn size 0 in her 20s: twiggy years but she keeps saying: no I wasn't thin when I was young. My sister who's 1m65 45 kg doesn't fit in her old clothes (she is underweight and has always been and yet no one has EVER told her to gain weight)
And I'm not skinny even remotely! and don't plan to become either!... I think they're used to chubby me and want to keep "their chubby girl".. they won't feel the same with me thinner. weird huh?
*shakes her head*
As for family, it's ironical how my mother says "you're fine now" when she herself was a damn size 0 in her 20s: twiggy years but she keeps saying: no I wasn't thin when I was young. My sister who's 1m65 45 kg doesn't fit in her old clothes (she is underweight and has always been and yet no one has EVER told her to gain weight)
And I'm not skinny even remotely! and don't plan to become either!... I think they're used to chubby me and want to keep "their chubby girl".. they won't feel the same with me thinner. weird huh?
*shakes her head*
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Jeanette401
New member
Yeah there might be some insecurity there. If you change your weight, what else might change? How you feel about them? Will you think less of them if they don't gain weight? People are funny creatures.
sinui
0
=/ I don't care whether she's thin, gains weight or bleaches her hair green. I believe people are free to do whatever they want as long as they don't harm others or themselves. I hate people telling me how I should be and therefore never comment on how they should lead their lives.
^^; funny how my sister also told me to quit losing weight.. she should look at herself. I never tell her anything. She's not anorexic and has always been thin, so good for her. If she wants to change, good for her too. lol
^^; funny how my sister also told me to quit losing weight.. she should look at herself. I never tell her anything. She's not anorexic and has always been thin, so good for her. If she wants to change, good for her too. lol
ColinJ
New member
I know what you mean - some people can be incredibly insensitive, interfering and rude!
I'm one of those guys who can gain or lose weight relatively quickly and have been through about 3 cycles of fat-'normal'-thin-'normal'-fat over the past 20 years. I'm currently slimming down from fat (yet again!).
When I was thin I had somebody come up to me, look me up and down and say "What on earth is wrong with you, you look terrible - are you ill?" I mean, imagine if I was ill - how would that make me feel?
The same person walked up to me a few months back, stared at me, pointed at my beer belly and said "Huh, you got fat!"
There's no pleasing some folks! There's probably a 3 pound range of weight that she'd have found acceptable.
Having said all of that... I did get too thin at one point. People had been telling me that I was too thin when I definitely wasn't (when I still had a 2" roll of fat round my waist). Eventually though, I overdid it. I couldn't tell looking in the mirror but I got someone to take some photographs of me and I was really shocked by them. I look quite a bit like Hugh Laurie ('House') and if you can imagine him 15 pounds lighter...
I'm one of those guys who can gain or lose weight relatively quickly and have been through about 3 cycles of fat-'normal'-thin-'normal'-fat over the past 20 years. I'm currently slimming down from fat (yet again!).
When I was thin I had somebody come up to me, look me up and down and say "What on earth is wrong with you, you look terrible - are you ill?" I mean, imagine if I was ill - how would that make me feel?
The same person walked up to me a few months back, stared at me, pointed at my beer belly and said "Huh, you got fat!"
There's no pleasing some folks! There's probably a 3 pound range of weight that she'd have found acceptable.
Having said all of that... I did get too thin at one point. People had been telling me that I was too thin when I definitely wasn't (when I still had a 2" roll of fat round my waist). Eventually though, I overdid it. I couldn't tell looking in the mirror but I got someone to take some photographs of me and I was really shocked by them. I look quite a bit like Hugh Laurie ('House') and if you can imagine him 15 pounds lighter...
lurker9116
New member
You should have been like, "No, I'm still looking for it." *rimshot*
I absolutely cannot STAND this question. Of course I eat - I eat in front of everyone, at every meal, between meals, and most of the same things that they do. What blasts my mind is that negative people don't assume you're losing weight by doing what you're supposed to do, they assume you're cheating. Every single time. I have had people question whether I was bulimic or not when I've lost weight before, because they would see me eat regular meals on a regular basis instead of munching salads while I watched everyone else chow down.
Or, alternately, when I am careful what I eat in front of certain people, I am passive-aggressively accused of being an anorexic. Keeping a food diary and counting calories is considered "obsessive-compulsive behavior". Whenever I tell these people that I work out 5-7 times a week, they always ask, "Don't you think that's a little excessive?" I want to grab a handful of flab from my belly and ask, "Don't you think THIS is a little excessive? It's not going to melt away magically while I sit around on my a** eating Milano cookies and watching House, okay?"
If they had bothered to approach me about it, I would have told them, "Work out five to seven times a week and you can eat whatever you want (within reason) and be skinny too. Burn more than you eat. It's not rocket science."
Lots of people want to be skinny. Very few people have the drive to make it happen in a way that's healthy. When negative people see you making a break from the herd, they will do everything they can to drag you back. Because seeing you make improvements on your flaws makes them hyper-conscious of their own (and their disinclination to do anything about it). Denial is a powerful thing, but it's hard to deny your own laziness when you see someone close to you shrinking in front of your eyes from plain old-fashioned hard work and diligence.
No offense low carb/Atkin's people, but I get this question from these peeps a LOT in particular. My mother is a prime example; she's doing the low carb thing right now. She doesn't mind dieting, but she doesn't want to work out. So any time she sees me grab a hunk of bread or the equivalent, she makes a point to mention that I would lose more weight if I would cut out carbs. Not the case. I DO watch my carb intake to a certain extent (mostly because I realize from nutritional analysis that I don't get enough protein, so I try to replace empty carbs with more nutritious food), but when you exercise constantly, you have to have them. She also doesn't seem to understand that since I do work out all the time, I can still take in more calories than her and STILL lose weight.
A girl at work did this to me the other day. I was explaining to her that I want to be down to 120 pounds by November (because I'm 5' 4'') and she told me that I really shouldn't get that "bony" because it was unattractive. I wanted to be like, "Do I look bony at ALL to you?! Do I even look capable of bony? I have double Ds, for cripes' sake." 120 pounds would NOT look bony on me - I'm almost a hobbit.
I am afraid she will become one of those people who becomes more and more negative the more weight I lose, mostly because she has gained more and more weight recently because she quit smoking.
I've also had people tell me that 120 pounds was too low of a goal because of my figure (wide hips, smaller waist, extra large bust). Which might be true -when I weighed 165 pounds, people thought I weighed 135 or 140. But that's because I was solid with hard muscle. I could jog three miles and almost lift my own body weight.
But it's MY decision to make as to what weight is a good maintenance weight for me. So when other people tell me, "Oh, you can't lose that much," it just makes me want to say:
"Try me."
sinui
0
One word: jealousy. As I said in another post, those people that will say that are supportive while you're obese/very fat but when you slim down and eventually start to get lean and fit, they tell you "you're fine now" or "you're getting too skinny".
I believe that they dont want you to get better than them. It's ok for the fat girl to be less fat, it's not ok for the fat girl to be in better shape than them.
They're jealous of your determination, your strong will to get fitter that they lack. Unfortunately those people will always exist. People that instead of acting themselves, will try stop others from moving forward.
Not to confuse with family
I genuinely think they get worried. Albeit too much.It seems like there are always going to be haters out there trying to stop you. You just need to learn to tune them out and move forward I guess. I think to some of these people it may be some sort of competition now. They are afraid that you will outshine them in their eyes or something when in actuality we all know it's not a competition....well maybe it's a competition with ourselves from within but shouldn't affect anyone else obviously.
It looks like the same person that will call me fat will call me skinny...it's sad there's no happy medium in their world!
It looks like the same person that will call me fat will call me skinny...it's sad there's no happy medium in their world!
Candy_f_x
New member
I think you hit the nail on the head right here. When the fat girl starts looking like she could probably kick your a**, it kind of shakes up your worldview a bit.
I hate to admit it but I was one of those jealous people. I was always the skinny sister and I had 2 fat sisters. Well they lost weigh and neither of them is over 140 now and here I am the fat one. I made all sorts of claims saying they were anorexic or obsesed with working out when it was just me coming to realize that the fat girl in the family was me now.
Lraebennett
New member
HAHAHA. That is so funny. Id pay to see that.
I understand that too though.
I've dealt with so much shit for losing weight. My big friends scoffed at me, my smaller friends said I was losing too much and started to look sick (even though at the time when they said it they were smaller than me), my family tried to shove food down my throat, OR when there was a party and I'd go all out and eat what I wanted for my "Fat" day, theyd be like WOW. IM SO SUPRISED YOUD EAT THAT MUCH. I CANT BELEIVE YOU CAN EAT THAT MUCH. hellooo..you knew me when I was fat....I definately can eat that much. Contradictive bitches. haha
Oh that and the "preppy boys" in school automatically wanted to be my friends all of a sudden. That's when you wanna say F*** YOU BUDDY!
Lraebennett
New member
Yeah that's definately a low blow. How insensitive. Seriously, that shit hurts. I've never been to the point where I had loose skin so bad (I only lost roughly 70 pounds), but cmon if anything it's sad that the people who lose a lot of weight had one problem, and then they are are left with another.
I dont know if you watch MTV but I was watching True Life, about two people who got the lap band surgery, and the one boy/man named Rocky had a lot of loose/extra/saggy skin. He had to wrap himself in almost like a girdle every day to give the illusion of being "tight". I just felt so bad for him the poor guy already had to do something to force himself to diet, and then he is left with that to make his confidence plummet. I just felt horrible for him =(
So, needless to say, F*** that, at least that loose skin means you lost the weight and are healthier. Skin is not going to harm you, but being obese is.
Shep031
New member
Oh I saw that True Life episode...he had SO much extra skin. Did you see the part where he went to have the lap band loosened (if that's the word) and he went to a restaurant and got a meal, then threw it up? Then proceeded to get at least two slices of pie and 4 or 5 extra thick vanilla milkshakes? Then he started to gain weight so he went back to the doctor's to get the lap band tightened or whatever they do to make you stop eating as much. Ridiculous.
Camy
New member
Ohh me me me! I know I see myself fatter than the rest does, but still, I have more than an inch to pinch on my tummy area and my thighs and even my arms are still not quite there, but EVERYBODY tells me "stop now" or "you will disappear" (except for my man, who knows that I need to get to my goal, he is awesome!). Erm, no I won't disappear folks!
One friend, who incidentally told me some 15 pounds back that her boyfriend told her how lucky my boyfriend was because I was starting to look amazing (his words not mine), told me: "I think you were just genetically programmed to lose that weight because honestly, people don't just lose 35 pounds... maybe it was like baby fat!"
I wanted to scream in her face: "No girl, I worked F=&%$ hard to get here!! Who the funk loses babyfat at age 23??¿¿!"
Everytime they have told me, then I lost some 10 more pounds and they always said "ph wow, NOW you look great!" so in 10 more pounds when I finally feel great, they will still be saying the same!!
Camy
One friend, who incidentally told me some 15 pounds back that her boyfriend told her how lucky my boyfriend was because I was starting to look amazing (his words not mine), told me: "I think you were just genetically programmed to lose that weight because honestly, people don't just lose 35 pounds... maybe it was like baby fat!"
I wanted to scream in her face: "No girl, I worked F=&%$ hard to get here!! Who the funk loses babyfat at age 23??¿¿!"
Everytime they have told me, then I lost some 10 more pounds and they always said "ph wow, NOW you look great!" so in 10 more pounds when I finally feel great, they will still be saying the same!!
Camy
2 and a half years ago or so I dropped alot of weight, the right way. It was shocking the way some of my "friends" reacted as my waistline shrank and my confidence grew. Some women are only comfortable around other women that they feel superior to I suppose. I was clearly choosing the wrong friends. I didn't encounter criticism though, and I'm thankful for that - my familiy was ecstatic.
I didn't encounter criticism though, and I'm thankful for that - my familiy was ecstatic.