One Step at a Time

[AnnSparks]

This diary will be to track my progress and help me to stay accountable so that I keep on track.

Currently, I'm a 22 year old female that's 5'4 and weighs 220.5 lbs. My current goal is to get to 150 lbs.

Weight loss Plan:

I'm going to ease into the keto diet and stick to that as a lifestyle. I've done keto twice before and both times, lost about 12 - 15 lbs in one month. Never got the keto flue or anything like that either. I also feel a lot more alert, energetic, little to no cravings for sugary foods, and all around, just do better.

Along with that, I'm working on adding in more exercise. I'm borrowing an exercise bike and I also have a thing that's to work on your core (no idea what it's called, might post a pic of it at some point). I also have some light weights to use for my arms. Oh, and I own 2 horses and doing any sort of work with them is definitely exercise xD
I do have some minor knee injuries that I got when I was 17 so I'm going to take it easy when it comes to the bike as it causes my knees to hurt after a certain amount of time, though part of it is because the muscles around my knees aren't very strong. So I'll be adding in other exercises as well, but it's going to have to be a little bit that builds up over time.

Also, as a way to keep myself motivated, I'll be logging results into this diary as I go along, as well do a video diary type of idea that's mostly just for personal use and not upload it. I'm hoping by doing these things, I'll be able to keep myself motived to continue to improve my way of life and actually stick to keto and exercising more regularly.

I did a little calculation thing, and apparently if I exercise about 3 times a week, and eat the way I'm planning to, I could reach my goal weight by sometime in June.

As a side note, it doesn't particularly have to do with weight loss, but I'm also going to work on better self care. As in, put lotion a little more to keep my skin softer, take some vitamines to prevent me from getting sick as often as I have in the past, and dress better as well. So I guess, kind of give myself a confidence boost in the way I look as I work on losing weight.


Reasons for weight loss:

I have a few reasons for this actually.
1 - Feel better. Be able to go out and do things and not be out breath or tired as quickly and still have energy to work with my horses after work.
2 - Be a lighter load for my horses to carry.
3 - Health benefits. Currently am close to being pre-diabetic and I don't want to go any farther down that path. I'd rather reverse it.
4 - Have an easier time finding clothes and not feel awkward or as bad when people buy me clothes that are actually too small. (I look thinner than I am)
There are some other reasons, but it's getting late so I'm having a brain fart as to what they were lol. I'll possibly add them in later when I remember.


Short Backstory for those who are interested:

I honestly feel like I've been overweight my entire life. I can't remember a time where I didn't feel like I was fat. However, this was far from the truth. I was an average, healthy weight as a young kid. When I was 9, I did put on a bit of weight but it wasn't that bad. When I reached 12, I'd had a growth spurt so I wasn't as chubby as before, and while I did have a bit of extra weight, I wasn't chubby or unhealthy with where I was.

One reason I always felt like I was way fatter than I actually was, was because my mom would go look at those tummy tuck things you wear under your clothes to help smooth out the belly and/or hide it. She'd always make a comment or remark that I needed one of those and/or learn how to suck in my gut. There were other comments, but I don't quite remember them, but this was always a huge blow to my confidence and really started to make me feel like I was very fat and overweight.

But when I turned 13, I decided to go live with my dad and that family. I'm not sure what happened entirely (other than financial situation wasn't very good) and the family started to put on more weight. I always remained the skinnest of the family (found out I have a slightly higher metabolism than the average person) and if the family did anything to lose weight, I'd always drop 5 lbs when the others lost maybe 1 or 2 lbs. These moments of weight loss activity never lasted more than a week and a half though.

I never really cared through high school how I looked, because in my mind, I'd always been this overweight. It honestly didn't click in my head that I'd put on weight till after I was out of school because ever since I was little, I'd always felt like I was 10x bigger than I actually was. It's a really hard mentality to break out of. I've also always been the smallest one of my family so that added to my complacency. Basically, my mindset was "Eh, ya, I'm overweight. But I'm skinnier than my younger sisters, step-mom, and dad, and I've seen plenty of people bigger than me. So I'm not that over weight." Through this, I never saw a reason to really try to change anything to lose the weight.

But then I moved out when I was 20 on my own and I realized things needed to change. About 2 months of being on my own, I went on the keto diet. I lost about 14 lbs in a month. Unfortunately, I didn't stick with it. I never gained any more weight, but I didn't lose it either. At that point, I was 190 - 200 lbs mark.
Now, I'm sitting at 220.5 lbs and that's not ok. If I keep going the way I am, I'll be even heavier by this time next year and I don't want that. So I'm working on getting out of this complacent mindset I've been trapped in for so long, and working at changing things in my life to actually help my body out so it can remain healthy and work well.


If you read that all, thanks, I appreciate it! I look forward to my journey and seeing how things go this time around since I'm doing this more as a lifestyle vs just a diet.

And a quick pic of my boys that are a true driving force in my inspiration and motivation to lose weight.

 

[Cate]

What a great introduction, Ann. You seem to have a good attitude & I'm sure you'll succeed. I look forward to following your progress. Welcome, once again

 

[Trusylver]

I do have some minor knee injuries that I got when I was 17 so I'm going to take it easy when it comes to the bike as it causes my knees to hurt after a certain amount of time, though part of it is because the muscles around my knees aren't very strong. So I'll be adding in other exercises as well, but it's going to have to be a little bit that builds up over time.

Knee pain from the bike may also have other contributing factors, Ladies due to our hip anatomy we usually have a large Q angle which will cause knee pain and further injury when a lot of time is spent on a bike.

 

[Petal001]

Hi Ann your horses are beautiful and what an inspiration for you to lose weight. From someone who is nearly 30 year older than you tackle this now and make it a lifestyle change . You have the right attitude. Best of luck

 

[alligatorob]

Hey Ann, good to see that you've started a diary, and thanks for the backstory. I always like knowing a bit about people.

ever since I was little, I'd always felt like I was 10x bigger than I actually was

I can sure relate to that feeling, I've lost 86 lbs so far and a lot of the time still see myself as I once was, and I think I have always seen myself as bigger than others have. I think its just something we need to accept and understand.

Petal is right, you are wise to be doing this now, I am older than Petal. If I had started when you are my life would have been healthier, and maybe happier. Here's hoping yours will be.

Great horses by the way!

 

[AnnSparks]

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement! And thanks for the info @Trusylver , I had no idea about that but it does make more sense why it's a bit of a challenge for me to keep my legs straight when pedaling.

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1st Update

Today is day 4 of my journey, and I am down to 218 lbs exactly. Which means I've dropped 2.5 lbs. And all I've done is ride the bike one day, spend time with one of my horses walking/running around with him on the ground another day, and then yesterday was a bit of a rest as I did a lot of extra running around after work than normal. With that, I've also started to work my way into the keto way of eating, though I'm not 100% on keto yet. I ease myself into it since by doing that, I don't get the keto flu.

So as of right now, I've been eating more protein and fat, but I've also been eating whatever I have left that's high in carbs but in smaller portions. Another thing that I've found really helps with my weight loss that I'm going to add in at some point, is to have a large breakfast, medium lunch, and small supper. I'm normally starving in the morning as I have to get up at 5 am so I have a 2 part breakfast of when I get up, then a little bit just before I start work so that I have energy until my lunch at 1:30. But for supper time, I'm usually just a little snackish and not too hungry so I don't eat much.

I've also decided that for the time being, I'm going to allow saturday or sunday (haven't totally decided which day yet) will be my "cheat" day. I won't allow for anything big, but maybe tiny bag of chips that day, or eat some of my grandma's amazing food (which is definitely not keto friendly lol) or a single muffin. Something small and simple. This won't last long though, as once I really get into keto and increase the fat intake, those kind of foods no longer appeal to me, and last time, even a single bite of a cheese cake (which is my fave) tasted awful and I couldn't take anything more than a bite really. So these "cheat" days, are just a way to ease my mind into eating differently the rest of the time and not freak out as though I'm going cold turkey.


So that's kind of where I'm at physically and with food. Mentally, I'm struggling a bit. And it's not because it feels tough or anything like that. I just found out at work that there are some people who are texting the boss about every little thing I do to get me in trouble (as reference, I've been there longer than the people who are trying to get me into trouble, I was supervisory for 6 months before deciding to step down out of my own free will, and I can go slow but still get more work done than most of them). I kept track of the amount of work I do yesterday and (I work in a thrift store to make this make a little more sense) I can get 6 racks of clothes, sorted, hung, tagged, and priced in a day, along with sending out 3 carts of item/merchandise to be put on the floor and that includes the steps of sorting though donations, dusting things off, and pricing. So in total, that's 9 things I've sent out to the floor in an 8 hour day. Combined with that, I recieved donations, I covered the front cash when the person needed to use the washroom or something else. So it's not like that was even all I did.
But then my other coworkers, will get maybe 1 - 2 carts done and sent out in a 4 hour span. Or only get 3 racks of clothing out if spending all day on just clothing. And there's a guy who works up front who literally just stands around and does nothing and will take hour long lunches instead of the 30 mins we're given and instead of getting in any serious trouble, he's just been moved into a "new position" that never existed before. Meanwhile, I'm now in trouble with the boss. Also, apprently I use my phone too much. As a reference, my phone is on silent and I check the time a lot, it's just a habit I have since high school, and maybe occassionally respond to a message. Coworkers do not have their phones on silent so you hear whenever they get a message and they'll make calls for appointments and whatnot during work hours.

Sorry for that mini rant, but due to all that, my struggling mentally and that tends to wash over into everything else. I also struggle with being very complacent so it also makes me want to just give up on everything and just quit work and eat lots of random food and not bother with exercise. But instead, I'm trying to go for a different approach but it definitely is going to be a challenge. I'm going to go with "kill them with kindness" type thing where I be as nice as possible to everyone. I'll get a watch and stick my phone in my locker so they cannot use the excuse that I got there a lot. I'll have a notebook on me and write down what I'm doing every day and roughly the time I do it so that I have a daily log of my activity. I'll let them know every time I go to the bathroom because apparently if I just go, they think I'm just randomly disappearing and wasting work hours. And I'll track how many carts and racks I send out a day.

Plus, I'll just buckle down a little more and really pursue getting in shape. The sooner I can lose weight and be decently in shape, the sooner I can truly pursue looking for a job in the horse industry more seriously and be taken more seriously as well. That way I'll only have to deal with this sudden attack for only a few more months, and then I'll be free. I've been at this particular store for a year and a half now, and I've never had a more stressful year than I've had with them so I'll be glad to be gone. I just have to purservier with my goals in my work life and personal life and not slip back into not caring about any of it and giving up on it all.


If you actually read all of that, I'm surprised but appreciate it. Just needed to get some of it off my chest. There's a lot more to it but I figured I wouldn't make this too long. And to end things on a good note, I'll put anther pic of one of my boys, except this time it's me on him as well as an example of one of my ways to get in some exercise.

 

[liza]

Hi Ann,
I just read through your intro and your second post. Sorry to hear you're going through some work stress, but sounds like you have a good plan to address it. That's good.
Sounds like you know what you're doing with keto so that's good too. I hope that signing up here will help you stick to it. I've been here just over a month and so far just being here is really helping me stick to my plan.
I love the pictures of your horses and you with the one. Lovely!

 

[Cate]

Hi, Ann. Your work situation sounds really unpleasant. I don't miss work dynamics, but put up with similar rubbish at a club. It will be good to work towards getting another job. We always have to have a plan & something to look forward to. Meanwhile, keep doing your job to the best of your ability, try to ignore the bs & look to the future. It's good to have a place to vent & your diary is as good a place as any

 

[alligatorob]

I just found out at work that there are some people who are texting the boss about every little thing I do to get me in trouble

I know its hard to do, but your best move would be to ignore it. If your boss has any sense he will judge you for himself and ignore the texting, it will hurt the texters more than you. If you boss doesn't have any sense I'd look for a new job. Some advice one of my first bosses gave me was at work to develop a hard shell, like a turtle, and let the bad stuff just roll off. It was great advice, and I have always tried to follow it, not always successfully, but looking back now I can see I was better off when I did.

I've dropped 2.5 lbs

That is great! A really good start. Stick with it and you'll keep losing weight, and feel better for it.

Hey Ann, is that you in the picture? Very nice, you and your horse look good together!

 

[AnnSparks]

@liza Thanks! And that's what I'm hoping for. Glad to hear this place is helping you so far

@Cate Thanks, and ya, I'm trying to use it as inspiration to really push forward to make my dream job a reality now with the way things are going.

@alligatorob That's what I've been doing for a while. When I was supervisor, there was a different lady who was determined to make things hard for me, plus the previous manager (no longer working there) was starting to spread a rumor about me too, so it's just been one thing after another. So that's why I figured I might as well just write down what I do, and keep my head down and just do it. And then if the boss does want to talk to me, I'll have something to show her. Thanks for the advice though
And yes, that is me in the picture, and thanks.

 

[alligatorob]

The sooner I can lose weight and be decently in shape, the sooner I can truly pursue looking for a job in the horse industry more seriously and be taken more seriously as well.

I think it's great you are losing weight and learning to eat healthier food, its something you will be glad you did for the rest of your life. However why do you need to lose weight before pursuing a job in the horse industry? Not that I know anything about it, but it seems to me only jockeys need to be skinny. I ask because I know I put off a lot of things in life because I felt my weight holding me back. Now I know most of that was just in my head. You might think about this, why not look for a horse job whilst losing weight? It could work.

Great picture again, even better now that I know its you. Post more, we all like seeing people's pictures.

 

[AnnSparks]

I think it's great you are losing weight and learning to eat healthier food, its something you will be glad you did for the rest of your life. However why do you need to lose weight before pursuing a job in the horse industry? Not that I know anything about it, but it seems to me only jockeys need to be skinny. I ask because I know I put off a lot of things in life because I felt my weight holding me back. Now I know most of that was just in my head. You might think about this, why not look for a horse job whilst losing weight? It could work.

Great picture again, even better now that I know its you. Post more, we all like seeing people's pictures.

There's several reasons for this. First is that to make sure the horse is as comfortable as can be to carry you around, it is advised that the rider and tack combined equals only about 20% of the horses body weight. So a small horse might only be able to handle carrying around someone of 100 lbs, while a bigger, draft horse, could carry someone that's 300 lbs, as an example. Also, being slimmer and more in shape makes it easier to work with horses as you have a 1,200 lbs animal you're dealing with and have to be able to keep up with as they do have their own minds and don't always cooperate. Being in shape also makes it easier to use the different muscles in the body to give cues to the horse so they know exactly what it is you're wanting them to do, as well as helps with your own balance.

So ya, Jockey's do need to be slim and usually on the short side as it's less weight to hold the horses back. By being so slim, the horses are able to go faster and cover more ground. Now put that in reverse. If a horse has a rider that's heavy, they're going to go much slower and potentially struggle with even doing the basic movements if the rider is way over the recommended weight carrying capacity for that horse. So instead of it being a balanced team, you'll have a horse that's off balance, which will lead to some sort of accident at some point, and the rider will also be unbalanced.

It's not that I'm super into being slim just for that though, it's more of losing a bit of weight so that I'll be in the carrying capacity for more horses, as well as being in general decent shape so that I can balance on a horse when riding, plus be able to keep up with them when they have spook moments and such on the ground.

Taking that into consideration, right now for my young horse is the shorter one in the pics, his carrying capacity is around the 180 lb mark. So I'm over that by a decent amount. As for my big guy, his capacity is about the 220 - 240 lb mark, so I'm just barely in that. If I were to gain weight, soon he'd struggle to carry me around.


So in short, I want to lose weight and get in better shape before pursuing a horse job more serious is because I want to be a lighter load for whatever size horse they throw at me, and that I'll be in good enough shape that I'll also be able to handle the horse that comes my way.
It's also currently not possible for me to get a horse where I live. I have to relocate for that. So I also have to save up money for moving and such which is another reason why I am waiting.
Sorry for such a long response. I tend to get a little carried away when talking about horses lol. Hope this answered your question though.

 

[aiminglow]

Hello, Ann! I'm coming in late, but I've just read your whole story - and wow! - what a clear thinker you are - and with such brilliant motivation and clarity about why and how you're doing this! I'd say you are absolutely set to shed that unwanted extra layer by summer, and how terrific your horses will feel with the new lighter, more agile you directing them and riding out with them!

I'm with you on the

a large breakfast, medium lunch, and small supper

approach - it works for me, as it evidently does for you. I haven't tried the keto approach, but the people here who use that are a very knowledgeable crowd, who'll be able to give you great insights into the fine details of how it works. Best wishes for your down-down-down from here to goal-weight!

 

[alligatorob]

Sorry for such a long response

Don't be I enjoyed reading it, I learned something.

I know little about horses, have only tried riding a couple of times and fell off pretty quickly both times. Years ago when I was in college I worked summers for the Forest Service in Wyoming we used pack horses and mules sometimes so I learned a little about how to pack a horse, but I never rode, just walked leading the packed horses. I didn't have to take care of them much either, we had wranglers who did most of that. I did learn to appreciate the animals.

I agree with Amy, you think clearly and write well.

 

[AnnSparks]

@aiminglow Glad you think so! And it's good to hear that eating style works for others as well. Haven't run into too many people in person who eat like that.

@alligatorob Sounds like that would be quite the experience. I've never packed a horse like that before, so in that area, you'd have more experience than me lol. And ya, staying on a horse isn't always easy. A lot harder than some people think it is xD At least until you get used to it.


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Minor Update

Forgot to take measurements before I drank water and did some exercise so the numbers may be slightly off due to that but I figured I might as well just get them done cause at this rate, I'll never remember to do them in time. I haven't weighed myself again, but I'm thinking I'm only going to do that every couple of days or about once a week. It'll be too annoying to weigh myself every day. And I'll check measurements once ever 1 - 2 weeks.

For exercise today, I rode the bike again and actually did better this time around. The first time I made it to 17 mins but had 3 or 4 moments I had to stop for various reason (cats knocked something over, forgot to grab water, knees were bothering me). But today, I made it to 20 mins with 0 breaks. So I'm feeling pretty accomplished from that. It actually felt easier too. My knees weren't acting up, my legs actually remained fairly straight on their own instead of trying to bow out the whole time, and all around, it just went better.

Yesterday's exercise was hanging out with the horses and going for a short 10 min ride. Had things come up so I couldn't ride longer than that, but I did go for a small walk with my younger horse so I did get a bit more in through that. Kind of hard to keep going though as he loves the snow and kept wanting to try to climb and dig in all the snow piles that are left behind when the snow is plowed lol. So he could have more fun, I did walk through some of the deeper snow with him and that definitely is a bigger work out.

Also bought fresh groceries yesterday and now my meal plan is salad, sausage, eggs, stirfry, and whatever other combo I can do with some of the foods. I think I may have gotten a tad carried away with buy these healthier foods as I'm only one person and these things tend to expire a little quickly so I might have gotten a bit more than I should have lol. But some of it I can freeze so I'll probably do that.


Current measurements:

Neck: 15.1 in
Arm: 13.4 in
Bust: 46 in
Waist: 46.8 in
Hips: 45.4 in
Thigh: 24.5 in


And since some of you seem to like pics of the boys, here's two more. That is me with them, and one thing I am hoping for is that with losing weight, my cheeks won't be quite so....pudgy? I'm not sure how to describe it, though I know part of it is just because it's my face shape so I'm not overly concerned about it.

This one is with Jack, my boy who's not quite 3 and is a huge love bug. He's actually a rescue and I got him when he'd just turned 2. So I've had him nearly a year now and we went from being terrified of people, to a curious, loving boy. Supposed to be a Morgan but since he's a rescue, I don't really know for sure. Stands at 14.1 hh currently or about 56.4 in at the top of his wither/shoulder and still growing.

This is Sam. He's my giant lol. He's 9 years old now and he loves attention as well, though not quite as much as Jack. As of this month, I've now had him 5 months and he's the one I ride. He also loves to lick the people he likes so I've had my side completely wet because he'll lick my arm, shoulder, or anywhere else he can reach haha. And he's 16.1 hh or about 64.4 in at the top of his wither/shoulder.

So ya, that's a small introduction to the boys since they'll probably be in a few more posts at some point.

 

[Llama]

Both you and your horses look wonderful and I love reading the enthusiasm and love for them in your posts.

 

[Cate]

with LaMa.

Both you and your horses look wonderful and I love reading the enthusiasm and love for them in your posts.

 

[aiminglow]

Just gorgeous pics of all three of you!

 

[alligatorob]

I am hoping for is that with losing weight, my cheeks won't be quite so....pudgy?

You will lose weight in the face, it will happen. I like your cheeks now, hopefully they won't change too much. You are a pretty girl!

More nice horse and Ann pictures!

 

[liza]

Really enjoying reading your posts, Ann. You have such a great attitude! Love hearing about your horses and seeing all the pictures. I can feel the love between you and the horses for sure!
I think you'll do really well having that motivation for weight loss concerning working with horses.
Way to go!