One step at a time...

Thank you for sharing that with us Pip xx

My mum went through several miscarriages and stillbirths due to a genetic defect her and my father shared - I can just about begin to understand how painful it is because I saw how hard it was for her.

But, as you've shown, you can move on and be stronger and make something good from it. My mum went on to become an ambassador for the charity SANDs (still births and neonatal deaths), she did a lot of good work counselling women in similar situations to her own.

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Nice to meet you Jess! I have complete confidence in you being able to get where you want to be! Just stick with it (that's the bit that I find difficult haha).

I've definitely done my share of emotional eating too. Name an emotion and I cope with it by finding something salty or, usually, sugary to eat.

Anyway, after the relapse Pip mentioned, I'm hoping I'm firmly back on the wagon and you'll be seeing a lot more of me :)
 
Holly, your mum sounds like a very inspiring person. Not sure I could do that, it's such an emotive topic, think I'd just break down. Anywho, I don't want to bring down the mood, just thought it was a cloud hanging over me and would explaing what sort of year I've had and maybe go some way to explaining how I've ended up the way I am today.

Today I've been for a roast lunch (not unhealthy) and...erm....cheescake with cream hehe. God it must have been awful for me, but I did hit the gym this morning so hopefully it won't do too much damage. Meeting a friend for dinner later too, gonna be really tough to behave myself as the menu is 90% gorgeous burgers lol. Still it is a sunday...and I've been good all week and next week I'm going hardcore lol. Might just have today as a cheat day.

Hope everyone else is doing ok! X
 
I'm sure the gym will do damage control, as you said, so don't fret and enjoy yourself.

Have a lovely evening mrs!
 
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slimpip said:
Wow, that wasn't boring at all lol. You've been through so much so I think it's totally natural to have some issues with food. We've all sat in on a night time, alone, lonely and scoffed a whole tub of ice cream or whatever takes your fancy because you're sad or upset or bored. I remember on several occasions waiting for my mum to go to bed and then cooking maybe 15 chicken nuggets and guiltily scoffing them and washing up all the dishes to hide the evidence. How absurd! But I'm not in that place anymore and neither are you by the sounds of so well done to both of us...

This year has been the hardest year of my life. I have hinted that at some point I might tell you guys what has gone on and I think now I feel comfortable to do it. In April of this year, I miscarried my first baby at 3 months. I had already chosen names, told everyone, sorted out maternity leave at my old job...the whole package. Then, I just knew. I didn't feel right, I felt bloated and my stomach felt hard and I just knew. The next day I told my mum that she ought to take me to hospital as I'd begun to bleed very lightly. An hour later, I miscarried in a clinical, joyless hospital rest room and my life was changed forever. What ensued could only be called a dark period of depression. I drank a lot, I ate a lot more, I laid in bed and cried and as a person...I changed.

If one good thing has come out of this...it's that I'm determined to be 22. I nearly became a mum, and I would have been great at it, but never again would I be a 22yr old. I'd be nappies and teething and school uniforms, but never 22. Now...I finally got the tattoo I'd always wanted and am soon to get my second. It's going to be an angel (i'm quite spiritual) praying, some deep red roses, and the words 'omnia causa fiunt' - everything happens for a reason. My other one says 'I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul' which is what I live by now. My future is mine to mould as I please, and that starts with getting healthy so that my body matches my mind. I am in a good place now, I still have hard days, but they are few and far between now because I'm strong. And now I want my body to be!

Hope I haven't overshared. Please don't feel sorry for me, there's no need. Lets just get healthy x
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Hey Pip, Thanks for sharing, it's not easy to let such personal things out. I hope I didn't say too much in my post! I have a fair bit of shame (and I don't tell people/friends in my 'real' life) about my past, but that's exactly what it is. The past.

Sending you a big hug from me (not feeling sorry, just caring and understanding). Life sends us the hardest challenges sometimes... I think you have an awesome attitude, and wil achieve anything you set your mind too.

That's fantastic about the tattoo, I'm a big fan and perhaps have too many, but I understand the emotional reasons we get them sometimes. I still want to get a memorial one done for my Dad. Enjoy getting your second one.

I'm all for what you said, 'Let's get HEALTHY'!!! :)
 
Holly88 said:
Nice to meet you Jess! I have complete confidence in you being able to get where you want to be! Just stick with it (that's the bit that I find difficult haha).

I've definitely done my share of emotional eating too. Name an emotion and I cope with it by finding something salty or, usually, sugary to eat.

Anyway, after the relapse Pip mentioned, I'm hoping I'm firmly back on the wagon and you'll be seeing a lot more of me :)
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You too Holly!
I definitely will stick with it - SO DETERMINED!!! Thank you xx

We can all do it!!!!!!!!!
 
GIRLS...I just had to post this, as I said...I'm at TOM at the moment but I weighed myself this morning and I'm half a pound under my lowest weight thus far. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so excited. As you know, I lost that weight, then put a few pounds back on, but now not only have I gotten back on track...I've gona past it!!! I'm so chuffed. I've got three exercise classes this week, starting with BodyPump tonight so I'm super determined to have a good diet week this week and hey, maybe in a weeks time a few more pounds will have disappeared.

Sorry to gloat but I just had to share it with you girls as I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone in real life as it's too much pressure. Hope you're doing well xx
 
Woop!!

Yay well done! It's such a great feeling to be at your lowest ever weight because it makes it so exciting to lose - anything lost is new territory! I'm a stone and 3 lbs from my lowest weight still. I hope it won't be long before I'm there too.

Keep up the good work mrs!
 
Awww thanks girls it's the nicest thing in the world to come online after a hard and very long day and see that you have support from people who understand your ups and downs. Soco, nice to meet you...I've seen you around the forum...great to have a new face in my diary. It's been a while since a new person has joined our little discussion. Hehe.

Off to Bodypump now ladies, gonna give it everything I have...make this week really count. So far today I've had a very small bowl of frosties, one piece of toast with marmalade, a few stolen chips from work (probs about 6) and a small jacket potato with some tuna mayo and salad. Not too bad I don't think?! What dyu lot reckon? x
 
Sounds good to me Pip. Better than the choc fest that is my diet ;)

I hope you kicked ass at the body pump class!
 
Hey it's my first time in your diary and I just wanted to say congrats for getting back on track so quick!!
I was down to 141 in June and am back to 159 so I know how important it is to not stay off track too long! I'd love it if I only had 6 pounds to go to get back there so great job done!
I also really loved your story and love how you decided to come out a stronger person with a new drive for life. Really touching. I plan to start trying for a baby next summer and I'm not too sure I would be as strong as you if something happens.
Keep it up and great work so far!!
 
Sorry to gloat but I just had to share it with you girls as I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone in real life as it's too much pressure. Hope you're doing well xx
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:D Sometimes I just have to share on here, as I can't bring to tell anyone in real life. At some points I consider saying it to my friends... but then I can't do it and I look forward to telling them when I've finally lost everything.

It's good to hear from you again! I went a bit incognito myself; went through a period of just never opening my laptop. x)
 
Holly - I'm proud to say I did kick ass. Talking of asses, the girl infront of me had a beautiful figure (especially her bum, was perfect in a non lesbian way) and it was really motivating me to work hard lol.

Chubbygirl - Thank you for your kind words. I do feel strong, but I still definitely have my wobbly moments, especially where babies are concerned. My due date is coming up on the 27th, so that's the day I'm getting my tattoo to commemorate the occasion. No point trying to ignore it, may as well embrace it and turn it into something positive-ish. Good luck with your baby attempt, I can't wait for my turn in life...this obviously just wasn't it. I'm really glad you've checked out my diary, the more support I have on here the more motivated I feel, so stick around if you would like to...I'll check out your diary if you have one!

Lochmond - Was wondering where on earth you'd gotten to!!! Glad your back...going incognito was dangerous for me...I lost the will to keep up my diet plan. So don't go anywhere missus! We missed you alround here xxx
Today has been quite good I guess. Long day at work, so lots of walking around and lifting stuff. With sore thighs and arms...it was a struggle lol. Had a cheesy garlic bread for lunch (mistake by kitchen, how could I resist?) and I've had a chicken escalop with a jacket potato and some beans. Not amazing, but could be a lot worse and I think I burnt a lot off during the day. Wow, I've written an essay, apologies...bon soir ladies x
 
Well today hasn't quite gone to plan and it's my own fault. I went into town this morning to create a care package for my friend in south korea. I was gonna head to my yoga class straight from town and realised I hadn't eaten at all so grabbed a pork roll froma stall. I realise I could have gone for a healthier option (FAIL). When I got there (first time I'd been) there was about 15 elderly ladies waiting for the same class. Well, I presumed I'd made a mistake and had booked in for an over 50's class or something but I hadn't, that was just the general clientel. Well, as shallow as it sounds and as stupid as it is, I just didn't feel comfortable being the only 22 year old amongst a whole group of pensioners...so I left!

Then, because I felt stupid I came home and mooched about for a bit, feeling silly. So I ate some pasta...quite a big portion of pasta. Damn it, I wasn't supposed to eat til dinner time!! But it's not too late right, it's not gonna be the best day in the world but also not the worst by far lol. Having very healthy fish and veg tonight (no potatoes) and gonna take my dog on a nice long walk in a while to try and burn some of the pasta off.

Boo, gonna have to make up for it tomorrow in my legs, bums and tums class. Definitely not going to let my resolve slip. X
 
Yeah don't let it get you down - you're deffo doing the right thing by picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. One afternoon of moderate over eating is nothing compared to weeks of eating whatever you want *cough talking about me here cough*.

I think I'd feel exactly the same about the yoga class full of pensioners lol. To be fair, it probably wouldn't be geared towards the right level of flexibility etc for you to benefit from it anyway. Not that I know very much about yoga!

You're so active at the moment and it's inspiring me to get my ass into gear. So you keep up the good work and kick some more butt tomorrow!!
 
Oooh that's good, I like inspiring anyone lol.

After I posted earlier I went to my room and totally rearranged the furniture, hoovered under where all the furniture had been and cleaned it from top to bottom. Well, as sad as it sounds, it was a work out in itself!! Afterwards I was sorta feeling better about not going to Yoga (which isn't really fat burning anyway so doubt it would have aided immediate weight loss).

Going to eat some lean fish and bubble and squeak now! Nom nom haha x
 
:D I've never been flexible enough for yoga (!), but I went to a class a few weeks ago... and found it was not as exciting as I'd seen from the Wii Fit ads - it was just breathing, we spent five minutes "considering opening our eyes". Don't blame you for not doing yoga with pensioners, wouldn't be a fan myself!
 
Haha, lochmond that made me chuckle. Nah didn't suit me I don't think...when I go to classes I like to feel motivated to work hard. Surrounded by 70yr olds I wouldn't have felt that motivation. I'm considering going for a run at the gym after LTB tomorrow, but just gonna see how the class goes, apparently it's pretty tough. My legs might be jellified haha, still will walk the dog twice tomorrow, one being a long walk so I think that's a good day's exercise.

Will try and be super good food wise up til Sunday as we are having a family get together which is bound to be calorific lol. Ahwell, life is for living x
 
I took a aqua fitness class once that was like that and the workout was not suited for me - I was freezing in the pool and turned sooo pruney so I never went back. Those ladies just love it though.
Great idea building up for the family get together! I'm doing the same for the weekend - let's work hard now so we don't feel guilty later! I'm not one of those people that can turn down a party - I just try to work harder for it!
 
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