On my way to confidence

A desperate cry for help- I don't know what to do anymore

Technically, this is a diary. So I can pour my heart out here, right. I am crying as I sit here writing this. This emotional outburst comes from being close to my period, which has only happened the past couple months, and I don't understand why because I was previously symptom free, but thats not what I'm here to talk about.
I have just thrown away any and all food that I thought would be possible for me to snack on. It's all i've been doing lately and it's got to stop somehow. I just threw away a lot of money, but I don't know what else to do. I can't have it in my house until I learn to control my eating. All I have currently are fruits and vegetables, eggs, sliced turkey, chicken, ground turkey, and some condiments. Thats not much, and I'm sure I'll get bored of it quickly, but maybe that will keep me from eating too much. After an entire weekend of pigging out, not studying, and not exercising, when I went to the gym this evening I couldn't even do half the workout I could last week. How sad is that? Every time I start a new plan I am motivated for a day or two, but then it goes down the drain. Do I have to come up with some new way to motivate myself every 3 days? Sometimes I wake up extremely motivated, but halfway through the day that changes. I really want to lose weight. I really want to look and feel good. I'm going on a trip out west this fall and I want to be in good shape for hiking, and rock climbing. I want to gain control of my life and my eating and exercising. I want to build good habits that I can continue for life. But I can't seem to say no once I start eating. I can't live my whole life eating only vegetables, chicken, turkey, and eggs. I don't know what to do. I thought I knew how to lose weight. I thought I was good at it. I used to be good at it. But not anymore, it seems. Please help if you can.
 
It seems to me that you do the majority of your eating at night. You are "good" all day, then at night you get the munchies or snack or whatever. Is this right? If that's the case then one thing you should do is eat more during the day. Eat a good big breakfast, good big lunch and a small dinner. Don't wait till evening to get your food in, because that's when you are the weakest in self control. Also, plan on not eating after a certain time. Drink water at night, but nothing with calories. If you are hungry going to bed, think about how much you'll be looking forward to that big breakfast. Go to sleep early rather then stay up snacking.

What do you think?
 
Trops,
Thanks for the quick reply. You're right, I do mostly eat at night because thats when I'm home. I'd love to go to bed earlier than I usually do. Now I have an excuse! One day last week I tried eating more for breakfast and lunch and fewer snacks, and I really enjoyed it. I think eventually thats what will work for me. I'll try it again. I also like the idea of going to bed thinking about breakfast- its my favorite meal. i'll implement all your ideas tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. A new day, another chance to succeed! Thanks again.
 
Great, and give yourself a time limit for no eating. Think, after 7 or whatever, no food, just water. Then when you call your boyfriend you'll have some goon news to tell him. (and probably some curses at Trops :D)
 
Haha. Don't worry, I won't curse at you. I'm all motivated to try everything you suggested today. So far so good, but I've only been up for an hour and a half.
 
So what was breakfast? What do you have planned today for work/school? Snacking during the day? Lunch?
 
I couldnt cope with eating nothing after 7pm. I am sure that works well for some people - but it would never work for me.

I dont think that I could do 7 days of that - and I have been on my project 17 months.

I always have a ton of fruit that I plan on ploughing through after that time:
2 pears
1 apple
1 or 2 plums
Maybe some clementines

plus what remains of my water

I might have a sugar free jelly (when it is 32 calories for a pint you can eat tons of it).

A stick of sugar free chewing gum is worth having in the house just in case you want more.

You can adopt a healthy diet - but that doesnt mean that you have to feel like you have been sent to dietary prison. If something is hard to live with you will abandon the whole idea or cheat and feel bad about that.

Nothing is worse than sitting there feeling deprived. You dont have to do that if it doesnt work for you.
 
So far today, I've been sticking to the plan. Yay. I'm going to the gym in 15 minutes or so, then dinner, then I'm done eating for the night.

Breakfast: 1/2 cantaloupe, 4 scrambled egg whites with spinach and onion
Lunch: Wrap with turkey, broccoli, orange pepper, tomato, cheddar cheese, warm. Yummy!
Snack: Apple, 20 almonds
Dinner (later): Orange-Maple baked chicken with wild rice and probably asparagus or zucchini or both.

planned for the gym:
40 minutes on the treadmill(5 minutes X 3 running)

later at home:
Day 1 workout from the Making the Cut book. They look hard. I'm going to leave out the cardio part since I will have done that earlier.

Omega, I think by jelly you mean Jell-o, since I'm guessing you don't eat just spoonfuls of jelly, which is not that low in calories. I love fruit. It's by far my favorite food. I could probably eat more of it and be alright. Not tonight because I'm going to try not eating after 7 and see how it goes. But in the future if I really need something, thats what I'll choose first, and see if it satisfies me. I realized that whenever I binge I always end with a fruit. So maybe if I start with it, that will be all I'll need to satisfy me.
 
GonnaGetAbs said:
Omega, I think by jelly you mean Jell-o, since I'm guessing you don't eat just spoonfuls of jelly, which is not that low in calories
Click to expand...

In the UK and Australia 'Jell-o' means 'Jelly'.
In the UK and Australia 'Jelly' means 'Jam'.

Jelly is the wiggly stuff and jam is what you put on toast, pancakes etc.

Confusing huh!!??
 
austin_88 said:
In the UK and Australia 'Jell-o' means 'Jelly'.
In the UK and Australia 'Jelly' means 'Jam'.

Jelly is the wiggly stuff and jam is what you put on toast, pancakes etc.

Confusing huh!!??
Click to expand...


I love strawberry jam on my toast and corn beef hash! Jell-O what ever that flubber sh*t is, is nasty unless it has vodka in it. And I have not had a Jell-O shot since high school!
 
Limited said:
I love strawberry jam on my toast and corn beef hash! Jell-O what ever that flubber sh*t is, is nasty unless it has vodka in it. And I have not had a Jell-O shot since high school!
Click to expand...

You might think it is nasty - each to his own. I think it is great. You can have a pint of the stuff - fruit flavoured so it is sweet - for 32 calories. It even contains protein.

I dont have toast since I dont eat bread. The idea of strawberry jam on corned beef hash is nauseating to me. We are all different.
 
Haha. I love hearing about people's weird eating habits. And its true, people can eat whatever they like.

Yesterday went well. I did not succeed in not eating after 7 pm. However, I did only eat a little bit, and was conscious of it, instead of starting to eat and then just continuing like crazy without even caring. So I think I'm making progress in learning to enjoy what I eat and eat what I think I need. All I had was some tomatoes and celery, cherry juice, and walnuts, so I wasn't too worried. Plus I was 136.5 this morning! So it didn't really affect me.

The gym was great yesterday. It was the first day I tried to improve my running so I first did a little longer at the normal speed and then did a faster speed, but for not quite as long. I'm happy about it. I also did 10 minutes on the arc trainer, and 15 minutes on the bike.

Daiseeangel, thanks! I love to cook, and to come up with new things. I like allrecipes.com. I get a lot of recipes from there. Thats where the chicken from last night came from.

Have a great day everyone!

Oh, I forgot. My measurements:
21.9% BF- down .3%
hip 35- down .5
waist 28.5- down .5
everything else the same
weight: 136.5!!!!
 
Awesome job on controlling your eating. I have the same problem, but I find I don't feel so bad if I just eat something healthy. I know it's not always that easy. If things start to get really out of control, I just go for a long walk and get my heart rate up and my mind off of food. Then when I get home, I'm wiped and I just go straight to bed. I weighed in at 136.4 this morning so we are at exactly the same pretty much. Your waist is wayy smaller than mine though, but awesome job :D I'll be cheering you on along the way!! woohoo lets get to the 120's!!!
 
Omega said:
You might think it is nasty - each to his own. I think it is great. You can have a pint of the stuff - fruit flavoured so it is sweet - for 32 calories. It even contains protein.

I dont have toast since I dont eat bread. The idea of strawberry jam on corned beef hash is nauseating to me. We are all different.
Click to expand...



Bread is good for you, is it now?
 
Limited said:
Bread is good for you, is it now?
Click to expand...

It might be good for other people - but it is not good for me. I have to watch a whole load of carbohydrates (bread, rice, pasta) - and I am best off avoiding them completely due to a medical problem that I have. That is current best advice to me.

It's a shame because I like it.
 
Another successful day!! I feel so good. It went as planned except for slightly less cardio. But I wanted to get some last minute studying in before my test, so I stopped with about 15 minutes to go. Tonight was the same as yesterday. I ate more than planned, but significantly less than normal, and I'm enjoying what I do eat a lot more. It is SO much better to feel like this. Tomorrow I don't want to eat anything at all after 7. Thats my goal. I also want to do more strength training.

Today:
Breakfast: 1/2 C. oatmeal with blueberries, milk & honey, 1 C. yogurt
Lunch: leftover rice and ground turkey stir fry with summer squash, zucchini, onion, broccoli, apple
Snack: toast with peanut butter, celery, cucumber, cherry tomatoes
Dinner: black bean and grilled chicken burrito
Snacks: cherry juice, 1 C. granola

Adeon, its nice to have someone at the same weight to lose with. We have the same goal weight too. How tall are you?

Trops, thanks for keeping tabs on me. It is really helpful.
 
If you are staying up till 12:30 you might want to push it back to 8:30 or something. The idea isn't to starve yourself, but to curb the munchies and keep in calorie goal. I'm glad that it's working. Good luck on the test.
 
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