Newly Separated

Hey Mels, you haven't talked about your friends.

Do have them around or over the phone. Try to spend as much time as you can with good supportive friends.

What is your daily schedule like these days?
 
I am not nocturnal by nature

Sorry it has been so long. I was switched to nights and I gotta tell you, this morning glory is hurting. I usually woke up with the sun. Nights are crappy for people like me. In answer to the last post, all of my friends and family are at least an hour or more away(highway driving) My husband and I share a car, so on the days that I have it I try to get out to see them, but because my schedule is so wonky, they are either sleeping or at work. I took back my notice from the landlord, but now think that was a mistake. I had this crazy notion that by staying I was showing that I could make it on my own. Instead I think I am just a giant spaz who should have not done that. I am still working out like crazy and unable to eat much of anything. Trust me, I try to eat, but it never ends well if you know what I mean. I went to a clinic about that and they sent me to a lab for testing. I was healthy except for low blood sugar. Which makes sense if you aren't eating or keeping food down.(Gross, I know) Other than that, I am still crying all the time and pathetically hoping that my husband will come back. That about sums it up. I need friends. Lots of them. With unlimited patience. So again, I am sorry I haven't been on. I just cannot explain how much being on nights has messed me up more.(sigh) I promise, one day I will have nothing to whine about.
 
Mels, don't worry everything will be alright.

Wow working nights suck, I did it for five years and it really takes a toll on your body, this is not good for someone like you who is in a rough state of mind.

If you were closer I would tell you to come hang out with Me and my wife. We enjoy company and like to go out into Atlanta and just have fun nights out, like this saturday going with a friend to a comedy club.

Have you gone to a therapist yet? and you really need to start moving away from your hubby, and get int eh frame of mind, that it is HIS LOSS not yours, you are a GEORGOUS woman and you are a good person.

you just need a little self confidence, wish you were local, between me and my wife and neighbors you would be out and about and having a good time, we have a close knit group of neighbors and we help each other out.
 
Wow...divorce sucks. I finshed mine up about 4 months ago. It was a 10 year marriage and we have 2 boys. Now that I am out of that enviroment, my relationship with the boys is much better. I would suggest the exercise and any hobbies you enjoy, they are what help me make it from day to day..
 
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt

Well, here I sit. 1:30 am. Sad. Lost. Alone.
I have 6 weeks to find a new place, and thusly start my 'new' life.I have to pack up and go through years of memories. Alone. I know he will offer to help, but I can only keep up appearances for so long, and then the crying begins. I want to mentally check out. I have had too much. The only good thing about being on nights is that I usually pass out when I get home and that at least guarantees me 4-5 hours of sleep. Still losing weight. He just told me this evening how beautiful I looked and that he couldn't believe how much weight I had lost. Today is exactly3 months to the day he left. I need some advice on how to get through the next bit. I am still letting him come over and we go out or stay in depending on the mood. I know I am in complete denial, and I am horribly frightened of what will happen to me when I move. I still have to find somewhere to go to. I am so afraid of moving away from him. I am actually worried about his feelings. How is that possible. For all the times I try to be 'strong' I am still holding on too such hope. Is this normal. Him still wanting to see me? Myself still wanting him? Will I ever get over this or will I just learn to cope?
I guess crying, alone, and scared, so scared, is it tonight.
 
hey. well, i just read everything you have been posting ... i can relate, and, unfortunately, i was on the other side of things. I was a couple years younger than him, but did similar things to the girl i was seeing ... so, i think i know the stupid things that were going through his mind. PS. if you are still up, i'm over in Germany right now, so it's 9:45am for me, we can chat if you like.

Anyway, 1st, just get rid of him. He is being selfish ... of course he still cares about you, but isn't sure if he "truely" loves you / or just doesn't see a future together (might be battling the age thing). He loves the confort of being around you and how much you care about him ... it makes him feel good (selfish). However, I think he has the same heart that I do that, because he cares so much, it bothers him how much you are hurting ... he wants to be there for you, but knows that it is not a good idea ... but does it anyway.

As far as moving goes ... I'm not in agreance with the "running" idea (I was a runner), but having little support would make it very understandable. In the overall picture, when you get through this (cuz you will), think of what you can brag about getting through.

And, not to send you away, or anything, but our sister forum (link in my sig), is 95% women who are amazing, to say the least, at giving support.

Hang in there.

PS - if you do decide to head over to the other forum, PM me and I will be sure that they know you are coming and lay down a welcome matt ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top