New Year, New Thread for Those who Weigh 200 lbs/90 Kg or More

Pink,

Yeah I mean I agree with eating healtheir, I totaly am to. I didn't have a lot of fast food in my diet before anyway, so if this is something that is a habit, I totaly understand cutting it out. Moderation sometimes with things that are really embeded habits, is self defieting. So I totaly get it. Someday you'll be able to have it once and awhile without, the guilt...

:iagree:Yep this is me...my biggest problem is I refuse to cook. And even if I do cook I refuse to eat it. It ends up going bad. I eat out all over the place and eat whatever I want when I want and I am a spoiled brat :rotflmao: Lately I have been making healthy choices, because not all pre-cooked / restaurant food is bad, and I get kashi cereal for breakfast, then salads, wraps, rice and chicken, chicken and veggies... Stuff like that. I am trying to get myself to cook and eat what I cook. I actually gained all of this weight from eating fast food. I remember when I was 190 and then I started eating fast food every day. I went up to 250 in no time!! I mean in a year or less.

I'm not adverse to being open minded though Hope, and I did not mean to come across like that (if I did :p) I will check out the site. I said I cannot count calories because it is just my nature of not liking to make food a type of math:D Its why I never do good on those support group programs where diaries have to be kept, and you have to talk to some skinny woman that circles the word "croissaint" in your diary like 15 times with a red pen:rant: sorry....little flashback there :D Like you said...different strokes for different folks.:grouphug:

Dreamer you will hula your way over this plateau in no time ;) I am sure of it!!
 
veronandez,

Yeah, I forgot that they do the meal plan thing for you. I knew I couldn't shop like that, because I have a whole crew to feed, not just me. And 'I' probably couldn't or wouldn't follow something that someone else planed for me. I'm such a non conformist!lol So anyway I clicked the option on there to just let me put in my food I eat. Which for me is way better.

Yeah it's funny about internet friends, I was on a board like this for relationship issues years back and I swear I have life long friends from there, that I talk on the phone with now. A couple have even come to my town for a trip and we've met. The thing about the internet that is soooo cool is that you get right to the "meat" of the person, with a forum like this. In a way that would wouldn't be able to do in person. We might have never ever met in real life, and if we had whose to say we would even start up a conversation? So on here we connect with the "core" of us, or our issues, dreams, goals, and even though it's the internet, in many ways the conection is way more real.. In my opinon, because there is no formalities, hesitation in comunication, fasoads, what have you. In some ways it's more real... :grouphug:

Pink,
"Yep this is me...my biggest problem is I refuse to cook. And even if I do cook I refuse to eat it. It ends up going bad."

Ah man, now that's a problem!:willy_nilly: Well you don't have to cook fruit or cottage cheese, or bread, sandwitches, cheese, hmmm, you can heat up soup, I think theres some things you can grab to take with you on the run, you busy busy lady!

"I eat out all over the place and eat whatever I want when I want and I am a spoiled brat"

LOL!!! You have to go in time out! Eat your veggies! LOL!


"Lately I have been making healthy choices, because not all pre-cooked / restaurant food is bad, and I get kashi cereal for breakfast, then salads, wraps, rice and chicken, chicken and veggies... Stuff like that. I am trying to get myself to cook and eat what I cook. " :hurray:

"I actually gained all of this weight from eating fast food. I remember when I was 190 and then I started eating fast food every day. I went up to 250 in no time!! I mean in a year or less."

That is very very scary! I could never afored that habbit! I was spending enough killing my body with cigarets, and I was adicted to starbucks, very fatning whiped toping coffees! Yummm... I think those coffee drinkse every day packed on my pounds these last couple years with the 60lb weight gain, (that I had lost 5 years prior), oh yeah and the fact that I was a sodaholic!:blush5:

"I'm not adverse to being open minded though Hope, and I did not mean to come across like that (if I did ) I will check out the site. I said I cannot count calories because it is just my nature of not liking to make food a type of math Its why I never do good on those support group programs where diaries have to be kept, and you have to talk to some skinny woman that circles the word "croissaint" in your diary like 15 times with a red pen sorry....little flashback there Like you said...different strokes for different folks."

Holly shit! oh my God you are hillariouse, I have a vishual, of a thin woman wrighting croissaint, in a very frestrated crazy way with red pen, lol... With a little twitch in her eye!lol Hell I couldn't do the support group thing like that either, food isn't bad, I couldn't ever do any of those programs. And the ones that give you their food I think are the worst, like Jenny Creig, yeah you loose weight but then you don't know what the hell to do when you don't eat there pre packaged cardbord crap!lol

I don't think you are closed minded, I think we are a lot a like actually which is why I'm pushing it like a drug.lol... I don't want to think of food as math either! All I do is go on there... Type in oatmeal, fruit, ham, lettuse, hard boaild egg, salad, chicken with rice, coffe, milk, tomatoes, broccali, diet coke, butter, ice cream, what ever I eat in a day, and it tells me if I can have a cookie, or a yogurt and the end of the day. Or it tells me that I need to cut out one more yogurt because I was a bit over. It helps me learn how much my body needs. Anyway, I'm not going to push you, it's just nice to know what gadge your in or for me it was like flying blind. I thought I would hate it, but I don't. I don't even go on it on the weekends, cause I'm learning how much is to much, since I can't really trust myself, can I, I am a fat woman!lol... I'm not going to push it any more, just wanted you to know I do get it, and I'm doing it, and it's not what you are thinking it's like(cause I thought that too)..... I can tell you are open minded, so don't think I think other wise my dear!


Ok, so I ate something last night which was totaly not planed... Dun don DUN! I ATE A BUG! I am offically along with my two brave young sons, and my husband, in the I ate a bug club!lol.... After I picked the kids up last night from his house, my husband called me up and asked if after dinner we would meet him at Mcdonalds for ice cream.(which was great, and we haven't done anything with all of the kids since last summer together (I think ) I said sure! And yes I did have ice cream too! After that we went to the pet store and played with two cute puppies, one was a pug and the other was a syberian husky! And the pet caretaker guy was pushing the I ate a bug club, by putting a wraped chocolate covered grasshopper in my h's hand. After some talking into he ate it! Then my two sons, thought it would be really cool to get the Pin that went along with it, so they ate one, and I thought what the heck, I need to "live a little" and I ATE ONE TOO! UGG! The two big kids, and my youngest wouldn't try it... And the rest of the night we were asking them if we had an anteni in our teeth, lol we are MENTAL!!!!!!:puke:
 
Spartacus,

Frak, is allso acseptible!lol I don't know if any of you like sci fi, but I watch the sci fi channel quit a bit (I'm a dork!)... And I swear I almost pee my pants when Battlestar Galactica (yes that's a name of a show,lol ) come on and they are all seariouse in there plot and their screaming " What the Frak is his problem, or Who the FRAK do you think you are, or What's your FRAKING PROBLEM! It's so redarded, I started doing this with my kids, and for what ever reason, it makes us laugh!

I don't think there is to much that would offend me Spartacus, so don't FRAKING worry! ;)
 
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Dang...So many posts!!! My eyes are killing me, anyways I've been away from the computer this last couple of days cause of my brother using it. I've been the usual thing, but less intensity. I'm just glad that my knees are getting so much better :). I'm back on the leg press at 310 lbs a tthe moment, but i can boost it all up to like 600 in no time haha. My weight is still thesame, but seeing some parts of my body getting smaller :).

See you guys later.
 
Spartacus,

Frak, is allso acseptible!lol I don't know if any of you like sci fi, but I watch the sci fi channel quit a bit (I'm a dork!)... And I swear I almost pee my pants when Battlestar Galactica (yes that's a name of a show,lol ) come on and they are all seariouse in there plot and their screaming " What the Frak is his problem, or Who the FRAK do you think you are, or What's your FRAKING PROBLEM! It's so redarded, I started doing this with my kids, and for what ever reason, it makes us laugh!

I don't think there is to much that would offend me Spartacus, so don't FRAKING worry! ;)
Okay I'm a sci fi freak, too! Only I hate that show. I haven't seen enough of it to keep up, so I'm always asking who are those people? Are they the real people? Or the scilons? Or the imaginary ghost babies? The people I watch it with get a little testy and yell, "FRACK YOU YOU FRACKIN FRACK!"

Okay, I'm sorry. I really, really wanted to type that. I love/hate that word with all my being.

Btw, good job Kevi on maintaining! I'm sure it's just all the muscle adding on about to give you a huge loss.

Also, I agree with veranandez and hope2's conversation about forums. I had a (random!) woman come up to me and talk about her weight loss in a store before and I thought she was a little nutzo. Here, it makes sense! Yay!!:coolgleamA:
 
Well everyone... I am back and thus far making an ass of myself. I did go to the library today, which ended up being a twenty minutes walk and did a twenty three minute walk yesterday, but I gained another pound, so now I have decided to do something about this, because I need to stop this train wreck, before it happens. So thats why I headed up to the library. And thats why tomorrow I am going to go for a walk, more than thirty minutes, probably forty and I am going to try my hardest to reach 269 lol And than 265..
I want to be down three to four pounds by the end of the month, thats about a pound a week .. I really want to do this, going to try my hardest and Monday I start volunteering at the library ..
love yas always
natalie jo
 
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natalie jo,

Don't be so hard on yourself. What happens happens and it couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't. All you can do is start over every day. You are not your past.

Just curiouse, do you use a program like sparkpeople.com to keep track of your food, and total your calories? You are alowed to eat, and you can eat quite a lot (of healthy food) and still loose weight, it doesn't have to be torcher. If you aren't, maybe you could give it a trial run. The one tool that is keeping me on track is that program. The exercise doesn't get in everyday in the way I would like, I move way more then I was, and I exercise way more then I did (which as never:ack2:), but keeping track of my food is really great.

It sounds dumb, like you aren't going to enjoy your food etc. But that's not true, I enjoy my food way more, because I don't have to feel guilty. Even when I'm eating pizza, or haveing icecream. Because I know how many calories my body needs to eat to loose at a healthy rate. If you don't do this, and you need someone to figure this out for you, just let me know. I've already figured it out for like 4 other people in my life, and a couple people on the site that wanted quick help. Anyway, it might be something to really keep your motivation up.

Any tips, or anything you think we can help you with, PLEASE just ask, even if it's emotional stuff ok. We are here for eachother, and this will work. You can't fail at something if you are commited. If your commited, then weather ups or downs you will see it through!!! We are commited to you!Shoot you already lost so much weight, you know what to do, I'm sure you could teach us a couple tricks!

Well this new guy sounds like a real keeper, I hope everything turns out great!!!!

:grouphug:

Hope2

You know whats funny Hope,
is that in the last week I have heard "Your not your past" like a million times.

I know I need to move on and just live, but its so hard, when your past comes jumping out of nowhere, and thus it has caught up with your thinking

but I shall try to put things behind me, as hard as they are. You advice is greatly appreciated and you are right!

love yas
always
natalie jo
 
:iagree:Yep this is me...my biggest problem is I refuse to cook. And even if I do cook I refuse to eat it. It ends up going bad. I eat out all over the place and eat whatever I want when I want and I am a spoiled brat :rotflmao: Lately I have been making healthy choices, because not all pre-cooked / restaurant food is bad, and I get kashi cereal for breakfast, then salads, wraps, rice and chicken, chicken and veggies... Stuff like that. I am trying to get myself to cook and eat what I cook. I actually gained all of this weight from eating fast food. I remember when I was 190 and then I started eating fast food every day. I went up to 250 in no time!! I mean in a year or less.

I'm not adverse to being open minded though Hope, and I did not mean to come across like that (if I did :p) I will check out the site. I said I cannot count calories because it is just my nature of not liking to make food a type of math:D Its why I never do good on those support group programs where diaries have to be kept, and you have to talk to some skinny woman that circles the word "croissaint" in your diary like 15 times with a red pen:rant: sorry....little flashback there :D Like you said...different strokes for different folks.:grouphug:

Dreamer you will hula your way over this plateau in no time ;) I am sure of it!!

I am not really a calorie counter either... I usually just judge the food by many things. For one thing "does it taste good?" if it does it probably is bad for me! jk
actually I have been downing this sorbet and I think it is killing my diet, they are little cups, but they add up!!!

but not a calorie counter here. I think I need moderation, and the correct things.. I had lost fifty pounds. I just need to get back to what I was doing before ..

well ttylate
and best wishes Pink
love yas
always
natalie jo :grouphug:
 
Dang...So many posts!!! My eyes are killing me, anyways I've been away from the computer this last couple of days cause of my brother using it. I've been the usual thing, but less intensity. I'm just glad that my knees are getting so much better :). I'm back on the leg press at 310 lbs a tthe moment, but i can boost it all up to like 600 in no time haha. My weight is still thesame, but seeing some parts of my body getting smaller :).

See you guys later.

GOOD JOB Kevi!! Thats awesome. I couldnt bench press that in a million ... lol

Ttylater hun
love yas
always
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Spark it up people! LoL. I find that site quite helpful. And Hope is right. It does let you eat real food. I'm somewhat excited about it, most of the items it came up with for my mealplan is stuff that I would normally eat. It just portiones it for you and tells you what you can have seconds for.

Anyway, Tom is being nice to you this week Hope, lets hope when he comes to visit me he's just as nice. LoL.

Anyway, the May 2 pound challenge is up now Natalie, I'm on it, so we can be one another's cheerleaders.

Hmmm... I think that's what I like best about this site, everyone in this thread is one another's cheerleaders / counslers / friend. It just amazes me how we can all be from different parts of the country, different countries, and different age ranges and all still be good friends. Yeah, it's on the internet, but I find myself talking to you all about stuff I dont include my friends on.

So, good luck everyone this month. May we all lose more weight, lose the weight we gained due to unforseen circumstances, and keep on truckin to get healthy!

Ive joined the Two pounds a week Challenge myself! And I hope I go down three to four pounds.

well I will ttylater Veronica, love your avitar.. you look so good!

always
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Holly shit! oh my God you are hillariouse, I have a vishual, of a thin woman wrighting croissaint, in a very frestrated crazy way with red pen, lol... With a little twitch in her eye!lol Hell I couldn't do the support group thing like that either, food isn't bad, I couldn't ever do any of those programs. And the ones that give you their food I think are the worst, like Jenny Creig, yeah you loose weight but then you don't know what the hell to do when you don't eat there pre packaged cardbord crap!lol
:rotflmao: HAHAaaaaaaaaa this is so true LOLOLOL

BTW if you can afford starbucks, you can afford fast food...DOLLAR MENU!!! The one true menu of all that is evil >:-/

I think the eat a bug thing was pretty cool...and the antennae in teeth thing was DAM HILARIOUS!!!!!!! I could never eat bugs unless it was a necessity for survival or if i was somewhere in the world that the people would be insulted if I did not....I think tonight I will research where those places are and ensure that I do not go there:leaving: Were they crunchy, slimy and sweet?
 
You know whats funny Hope,
is that in the last week I have heard "Your not your past" like a million times.

I know I need to move on and just live, but its so hard, when your past comes jumping out of nowhere, and thus it has caught up with your thinking

but I shall try to put things behind me, as hard as they are. You advice is greatly appreciated and you are right!

love yas
always
natalie jo

Hmmm If you do not mind me saying so Nataliejo I really do not agree with the statements "You're not your past" and "Leave your past behind you." It is often said with the best intention from the mouths of those who sincerely care about you and your well being, but I disagree with it. Your past has made you the valiant person you are now, and has equipped you with what you need to face the present and the future. I think people strive to live happy lives and most people are not truly seeking to live the negative things of their past on a day to day basis. The past is not something you can put behind you or run from; it is a part of you, it made you, and it is something you have to accept in order to function in life. And when I say accept, I do not mean that you have to agree with everything and agree with the bad things that happened to you....you just have to accept that this thing happened to you, it was not good, it is not something you willed for yourself or something you wanted. Because it is not something that you wanted, you love your good natured self and detest the act. You are not the bad thing that happened to you, but you are the strong and courageous beautiful woman for overcoming it, surviving it, and learning from it.

I think that when we try to put the past behind us and act as if it never existed we are broadsided when things happen to remind us of our negative experiences in the past. When you begin to feel the pain, just remember that you made it through this already with great success and you will make it through again. In these times it is good to surround yourself with love and beauty. You will make it through. You have done it before. :grouphug:
 
Hmmm If you do not mind me saying so Nataliejo I really do not agree with the statements "You're not your past" and "Leave your past behind you." It is often said with the best intention from the mouths of those who sincerely care about you and your well being, but I disagree with it. Your past has made you the valiant person you are now, and has equipped you with what you need to face the present and the future. I think people strive to live happy lives and most people are not truly seeking to live the negative things of their past on a day to day basis. The past is not something you can put behind you or run from; it is a part of you, it made you, and it is something you have to accept in order to function in life. And when I say accept, I do not mean that you have to agree with everything and agree with the bad things that happened to you....you just have to accept that this thing happened to you, it was not good, it is not something you willed for yourself or something you wanted. Because it is not something that you wanted, you love your good natured self and detest the act. You are not the bad thing that happened to you, but you are the strong and courageous beautiful woman for overcoming it, surviving it, and learning from it.

I think that when we try to put the past behind us and act as if it never existed we are broadsided when things happen to remind us of our negative experiences in the past. When you begin to feel the pain, just remember that you made it through this already with great success and you will make it through again. In these times it is good to surround yourself with love and beauty. You will make it through. You have done it before. :grouphug:

Thank you so much Pink Clouds!! I have this tendency to focus on what has been done to me in a negative light and my faults or my problems and I don't seem to move beyond them. I get stuck, you know. So I think in that way I need to leave that behind, but I do need to accept it and realize it is in the past and its time for me to move forward in a bold way and really prescribe to my future and the happiness I so seek. I would be happy to lose more weight and to do that, I need to forgive myself for the past parts where I have fell of the bandwagon, and think right now of what I could be doing and start doing things to lose weight and become a healthier and stronger me. I have so much I want out of this life, and some of it I don't even know yet. I want to get married someday, but first I want to find my way down the poundage and become that healthier me like I said ..

Today I walked all over the city, and all the way down the beach and back... my feet were killing me on the beach lol, but it was all good. I lost breath, but that is the point, to get the blood pumping, to use the heart muscle and make it a stronger muscle. I am doing it and need to continue to do it. I have started using weights and I did a very long walk today and tomorrow I think its supposed to rain, so I may do some dancing inside. That might be a good idea.

Thanks hun for your kind words, They ring so true with me!

love yas
always
your good friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
Hell I couldn't do the support group thing like that either, food isn't bad, I couldn't ever do any of those programs. And the ones that give you their food I think are the worst, like Jenny Creig, yeah you loose weight but then you don't know what the hell to do when you don't eat there pre packaged cardbord crap!lol

As far as I'm concerned. THIS place is my Support Group. It's a whole lot easier to share my feelings while going through this online with you all, rather than have to speak infont of people.

My Mom was going to join Jenny Creig but since I've been eating better she has just joined Sparkpeople along with me. Plus, that saves us hecka money since I dont go by their meal plan, I just count calories.

Plus, we heard that the meals from Jenny are FRAKEN nasty tasting. Oh, and one of my mom's friends had a bad experience with Jenny. She wasn't losing weight as fast as everyone and at their meetings, the lady hosting the meeting started accusing her of not eating their food and not trying in front of the rest of the group. Totally emberrased the lady.

Nutrisystem... My friend bought into that Nutrisystem stuff from a lady on EBay who got her supply in and a week after using it found out she was preggo. My friend said that most of the meals on there were just plain nasty. Plus, they show all this delicious food on the tv but she said that most of the food in her supply were powdered meals.
 
I don't know if any of you like sci fi, but I watch the sci fi channel quit a bit (I'm a dork!)... And I swear I almost pee my pants when Battlestar Galactica (yes that's a name of a show,lol ) come on and they are all seariouse in there plot and their screaming " What the Frak is his problem, or Who the FRAK do you think you are, or What's your FRAKING PROBLEM! It's so redarded, I started doing this with my kids, and for what ever reason, it makes us laugh!

LoL.

I'm a Sci-Fi Freak also. Well, I use to be when we had the channel. Darn them changing the channeling. Now I'd have to pay for Sci-Fi which sucks because then I'd get a bunch of channels I'd never watch, so I dont have it anymore.

I'm a Twlight Zone, Tales from the Crypt, Outer Limits, X-Files Freak, and things about places being Haunted. I love anything that has to do with Aliens, Ghosts, and weird phenominoms(sorry dont know how to spell that word) Plus, I've watched Tales from the Crypt since I was really young, so I'm always looking foward to watching the marathons they have. Darn, if I was able to find the boxsets I know they have, I'd probably buy them all. Along with Twlight Zone (The original not the remakes).
 
Thanks hun for your kind words, They ring so true with me!

love yas
always
your good friend
natalie jo :cheers2:

No probs hun, everyone has a different perspective and different things work for different people. I sort of understand the put your past behind you concept, but it does not work well for me because my mind has the wonderful capability to totally bury things:) From what you are saying, I understand that it is probably the best for you and I am all for whatever works best for you:grouphug: We are not all the same and that is what makes this world a wonderful place. I wish you all the best hun, and I am sure you will make it through. You are doing Great so far :hurray:
 
No probs hun, everyone has a different perspective and different things work for different people. I sort of understand the put your past behind you concept, but it does not work well for me because my mind has the wonderful capability to totally bury things:) From what you are saying, I understand that it is probably the best for you and I am all for whatever works best for you:grouphug: We are not all the same and that is what makes this world a wonderful place. I wish you all the best hun, and I am sure you will make it through. You are doing Great so far :hurray:

Actually Pink, you have very valid points and I am looking to it from your perspective. I don't want to bury the positive, just the negative. And its not really burying with it. Its going through it, sifting, learning and than letting go. I will just keep living the past over and over. And that is not what I should be doing. And Sometimes I get so caught up in the negative from the past, I just take it out on myself, do nothing for myself, fall backwards in everything I do, including school and just bring myself down. My past really haunts me and I cant let it. I must face it and than let it go and realize today is a new day. And Tomorrow will be a good day too, and I will lose weight, just takes more determination than ever ..and the support I get from all of you is very important, but sometimes if I feel I dont meet up to expectations, I isolate. I do have MIS, mental disorders. And I get depressed mainly and it sucks, especially when I have to take me menopause, or pcos pill, which cuts me seretonin by 50 percent or more, those are the worse times, but thats when I need to walk the most, because than I only gain five pounds and lose it with in a couple to three weeks. I will have to take it soon. And I am not looking forward to it. But I wont isolate, I will try not too, I will come on here, so I hope all of you dont mind, me being a little icky and depressed... I just need to come somewhere to make it through these crisis in my life...

thanks
Pink
and thanks everyone else for your support

love you all
natalie jo :cheers2::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
Has anybody here seen the fat rant on youtube? The girl in it is gorgeous and she has a couple of good points. I'm pretty sure it's just called fat rant.

I watch it every now and then when I'm down.

Congrats to everyone on where you are now and where you're goin'!
 
Wow lots of posts to catch up on!

Kevi, it's great that you are maintaining so well, I'm gald your knees are doing better! And you are way strong, gees!!!!

spartacus26,

Yeah I didn't understand who was what when I first started watching it, but they had an all day marithon, and it was a day that my h had the kids, so I got cought up, and it STILL confusises the heck out of me!lol...

Random weight loss advice from a stranger in person, hugh, sounds fun!:ack2:

veronandez8,

Who knew there would be so many sci fi geeks on here, lol!!! Yeah for what ever reason that channel just comes with basic cable here. I haven't seen tales from the criped in years though, I loved that show when I was a kid. I'm such a frady cat, or I used to be anyway, but I still love creepy things. I'm just not a big horror movie person, sci fi is a different kinda creepy!

Yeah I did Jenny Creige for a couple months, when my last little one was around 8 months old. The food was o.k. , but it was pritty tasteless. And since aperantly I wasn't going to get enough calories to loose weight only on their food, they told me to eat two sandwitches. It was ridiculouse, I was eating a ridiculouse amount of food (way more then I complain about now). And it costs a lot (to me anyway).

It's really great to have this place, and all the info, and obviously you guys! :)
 
nataliejo,

Your right, you know exactly what worked for you before, and you can get back in the groove! That's really great with all the walking keep up the good work!!! That's great you are going to push the two pound a week challendge. I'm to scared to do the challendges, maybe I'll get brave enough soon.

I think what I said about "your not your past", may have been misunderstood. So I'm sorry I just said a statment like that, I didn't think it could be looked at in a way I didn't mean, but I was wrong...

What I ment by that, is for me, it's a great statment. Yes our pasts shapes us, both good and bad. And personaly even with really crapy situations, I try very very hard to find some positive meaning for them. And I seem to be able to do this, every time. Something, even if it's that I'm wiser for it happening (which in the end, is the biggest greatest gift from life!) What's really cool though, is we don't have to repeat the past. I totaly agree with looking at the past, analizing it (though I tend to over analize), learning from it. But I really like the idea that, allthough I was x,y,z last year, or YESTERDAY, I don't have to be x,y,z today. So you have a chance, in the present and future to live life, a life that is unshaped as of yet...

I totaly need this, I have to tell myself this now, because like you Nat, I get caught up in past circles. These past six years have been ridiculouse, it's rediculouse that it's been six years! The only reason my life has been pritty much totaly stagnet (we are talking personal life here, not my kids growing, learning etc,just me) is because the tape in my head of the past i.e. my short comings, my husbands shortcomings. Promises, hopes, failures, dreams, expectations, lies, etc etc.. Over and over and over going as a mater of fact I was torchuring myself with this just before I got on this board and luckly totaly had to laugh because everyone is so silly. (thank GOD!)...

I even play the tape in my head over and over of last week verses this moment in my really screawed up no point now unforchunatly relationship. I really like the idea that we aren't our past, because we can redefine ourselves. Keep the good stuff, learn from the "bad", and be fearless. I am tired of holding myself back. I have no reason now, no "excuse" not to sucseed with everything and anything I want to. Except me, and fear. I'm practising being something I am not, which is fearless.

I'm sorry I just made a remark like that without an explaination, of what I ment.:)
 
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