New, and blue, about weight :(

bluemomma

bluemomma

New member
Hey all,

Where do I even start? Well, I'll keep it simple. I've always battled my weight a bit - ever since I was about 19. Up and down and all around. I was down to a size 12 (the slimmest I'd been since I was 16 and a size 6/7) about 1.5 yrs ago, and met the perfect man (and he still is perfect for me). Anyhow.... after all the work I did to go from about 215 lbs to 170 lbs (took me like 3 years), I got pregnant. It was planned. I figured no problem, I'll gain the usual 25-35 lbs right? Wrong..... I gained (are you ready?) 80 lbs. In the first 2.5 months I had gained 27 lbs, and was already having panic attacks. My idiot doctor said I just needed to *deal with it/get used to it*. Great medical advice. So I kept right on gaining. Fast forward a year; I'm back at work..... and 210 lbs :( :(. I'm also horribly miserable about it. I have so much to be grateful and thankful for, and I am.... but this weight thing is really stressing me out. I have nightmares about it; today I went to buy a sweatshirt.... I purposely picked a mens XL... BARELY got over my fat a** and hips. I was mortified. I came back to work and did all I could to absolutely hold back the tears. I am tired of living like this. I still look pregnant; I can't shop for new clothes because I get so upset about it I won't eat for days afterwards and I feel like hurting myself. I'm not confident that I can lose this weight; my body has extra skin, especially in teh stomach area. I know taht diet and exercise should help but I tried exercising while on maternity leave and it didn't help a bit. I also took up boxing and kickboxing and wound up with tendonitis. I so desperately want to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size. My sex life has lapsed; I'm interested but then I see my reflection and I cry (literally). I don't want to have sex because I feel totally humiliated; God bless my husband who keeps telling me he loves me no matter what but I just absolutely cannot stand the way I look. I have had him cover all the mirrors in teh house. I can only see my neck and face to do my hair and stuff - that's all I want to see. It takes effort just to brush my hair because I figure why bother. I am totally depressed because of my weight. And then I say to myself wel just exercise and eat properly (which I do know how to do) but then I think about how long it will take to see ANY results and to top it off I think I might have a thyroid issue..... my hair fell out after I had the baby.... I"m a mess. I don't even feel like a woman anymore. I have given this a lot of thought..... if I could lose the weight then I could handle the other stuff, but right now I just feel totally helpless. I am planning to start back at the gym now that my arm will allow for it (has healed enough). I am just really having trouble with motivation; I dont' know why. Normally I'm pretty good at self-motivation (afterall, I did it the first few times right?). I've had a doctor suggest gastric bypass and I'm very seriously considering it. I need to lose at least 50 lbs. That's not a lot in some ways, yet in other ways, it's quite a lot. I just don't even know what to think anymore.

So there you go..... that's me in a nutshell (literally :p). I hope others on here are having better luck than me.

Cheers,
bluemomma
 
bluemomma said:
Hey all,

Where do I even start? Well, I'll keep it simple. I've always battled my weight a bit - ever since I was about 19. Up and down and all around. I was down to a size 12 (the slimmest I'd been since I was 16 and a size 6/7) about 1.5 yrs ago, and met the perfect man (and he still is perfect for me). Anyhow.... after all the work I did to go from about 215 lbs to 170 lbs (took me like 3 years), I got pregnant. It was planned. I figured no problem, I'll gain the usual 25-35 lbs right? Wrong..... I gained (are you ready?) 80 lbs. In the first 2.5 months I had gained 27 lbs, and was already having panic attacks. My idiot doctor said I just needed to *deal with it/get used to it*. Great medical advice. So I kept right on gaining. Fast forward a year; I'm back at work..... and 210 lbs :( :(. I'm also horribly miserable about it. I have so much to be grateful and thankful for, and I am.... but this weight thing is really stressing me out. I have nightmares about it; today I went to buy a sweatshirt.... I purposely picked a mens XL... BARELY got over my fat a** and hips. I was mortified. I came back to work and did all I could to absolutely hold back the tears. I am tired of living like this. I still look pregnant; I can't shop for new clothes because I get so upset about it I won't eat for days afterwards and I feel like hurting myself. I'm not confident that I can lose this weight; my body has extra skin, especially in teh stomach area. I know taht diet and exercise should help but I tried exercising while on maternity leave and it didn't help a bit. I also took up boxing and kickboxing and wound up with tendonitis. I so desperately want to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size. My sex life has lapsed; I'm interested but then I see my reflection and I cry (literally). I don't want to have sex because I feel totally humiliated; God bless my husband who keeps telling me he loves me no matter what but I just absolutely cannot stand the way I look. I have had him cover all the mirrors in teh house. I can only see my neck and face to do my hair and stuff - that's all I want to see. It takes effort just to brush my hair because I figure why bother. I am totally depressed because of my weight. And then I say to myself wel just exercise and eat properly (which I do know how to do) but then I think about how long it will take to see ANY results and to top it off I think I might have a thyroid issue..... my hair fell out after I had the baby.... I"m a mess. I don't even feel like a woman anymore. I have given this a lot of thought..... if I could lose the weight then I could handle the other stuff, but right now I just feel totally helpless. I am planning to start back at the gym now that my arm will allow for it (has healed enough). I am just really having trouble with motivation; I dont' know why. Normally I'm pretty good at self-motivation (afterall, I did it the first few times right?). I've had a doctor suggest gastric bypass and I'm very seriously considering it. I need to lose at least 50 lbs. That's not a lot in some ways, yet in other ways, it's quite a lot. I just don't even know what to think anymore.

So there you go..... that's me in a nutshell (literally :p). I hope others on here are having better luck than me.

Cheers,
bluemomma
Click to expand...

First, it sounds like you have a lot of emotional issues that might or might not be linked to the weight gain. I think at this stage you might consider seeking a counselor, psychiatrist, or another form of therapy. That's not meant as an insult at all, sometimes we all need someone to talk out our problems with. Once you get through some of the emotional stuff the weight lose will be so much easier because you won't be emotionally eating.
 
It sounds like you feel that you have no control over your life, and taking control of your weight will give you that small bit of power you feel that you are losing everywhere else.

I felt like this before, probably every other time I tried to lose the weight, and that mindset didn't help me at all. If anything, it made me feel more helpless because when I was unable to achieve my goals, I just dove deeper into depression.

Weight loss isn't going to make your other problems go away, and it shouldn't be used as your crutch.

You need to talk to your doctor or your husband if he doesn't understand the depth of your current problems. These are people that should be there to help you, and chances are if you reach out you will get it.
 
It's the weight... I obsess about it despite my husband teling me daily taht he loves me and finds me attractive; I'm my own worst enemy in this. I am both depressed and angry BECAUSE of the fat/weight. Doesn't help that yesterday I made the mistake of buying clothes; never a good thing. If I can get the weight/fat off, I will be better. I know this is true because I didn't have these emotional issues before teh weight gain. There isn't anything other than my weight/fat that depresses me. Therefore.... if the weight/fat goes, then so does the depression and anger. I want to feel confident and have self-esteem again. I want to be able to wear shorts and a bathing suit. I want to be able to go outside in public without feeling like I should hide away. There are bigger people than me in this world, and smaller people than me..... it's just my own mind and perception about my weight/fat that's doing this to me. The only resolution is to lose the fat/weight.
 
There are bigger people than me in this world, and smaller people than me..... it's just my own mind and perception about my weight/fat that's doing this to me. The only resolution is to lose the fat/weight.
Click to expand...

Then, go out and lose weight! Just do it. Don't think about it, just do it. Eat less calories than your maintenance, and the weight will come off. If you think you have a thyroid problem, then find a better doctor than the one who told you to deal with it and have it checked out. Other than that, no excuses. Sure, its still going to take a lot of hard work and committment. If you wanna lose the weight bad enough, you'll do the hard work and you'll make the committment. You'd do anything if it meant you could be skinny, right? so just do it!

Weight loss surgery, eh I shouldn't even go there, but I'm going to say it. Its a last resort. All it is, is a forced portion controll. And all the stories I hear, people are constantly sick and vomiting. But, "its ok, because its for the weight loss". But, there's no magic to the surgeries really, only forcing a calorie deficit. And you can do this without the surgery!

You can do this! I can do this, anyone can do this if they really want to. Once you get going, its surprisingly simple to lose weight. But you really really have to want to do it, not just say you want to do it. You can't say you'd do anything to be skinny, only to find that what you really mean is "anything thats easy and doesn't require hard work and exercise and eating less".

Start right now. Not tomorrow, not next monday, today! little choices can make big results over time. And the first thing you (and I and everyone else) has to accept is that it will take some time. None of us got fat overnight, and we can't get skinny overnight either.

I wish you all the best and success along your journey. I hope you take this post as a supporting kick in the butt rather than putting you down. Look at my sig, I've came a long way, but I'm still fat. I have a long ways to go still, and sometimes I get depressed thinking about it. Sometimes I wonder if its even worth it. But you know what, we only have one life, I can spend the next 5 years living obese, being unhealthy, and missing out on lots of fun things I could be doing, only to find out I'll be missing out the rest of my probably shortened life, or I can spend the next five years working hard, getting healthy, losing weight, and learning how to succeed in remaining that way the rest of my LONGER life, where I'll be able to do all the fun things I would have previously missed out on. And, I want to live long enought to RETIRE. How many fat old people do you see? Not many. And most that you do see only got fat after they got old. I don't think I could make my 70's being obese between now and then.

Best wishes!
Matt
 
You're absolutely right. I actually don't want gastric bypass -- my problem isn't portion control. Even my husband can't figure out why I'm overweight to begin with. I am going to get another doctor and I am going to take this one day at a time. So each daily goal is to monitor eating and exercise. If I can do that, then I'm well on my way. Talking about it and not DOING anything isn't going to get me there faster. I need to work harder than hard and keep eating well. Don't get me wrong, there is room for improvement in my diet but I eat pretty well actually. My average week day for food looks like this:

cereal w/ skim milk & 1 tsp splenda (usually shreddies or special k).
Coffee or tea (milk and 2 tsp splenda)
1-2 litres water during entire day
2 source yogurt cups
1 apple
10 crackers (whole grain/wheat thins/triscuit)
small bowl of spring garden salad (no dressing or no fat dressing)
5-8 baby carrots
protein shake (made with water)
eggie sandwich (egg, usually with yolk.... i know my bad, no fat ham and no fat cheese slice)
lean meat for supper with green veggies or sometimes a potato

sometimes I add salsa to teh day to chane it up (dip my carrots in salsa).
sometimes I have an additional sandwich (I know, bread... my bad)

I dont' do butter, condiments, juice, reg soda, sauces, reg mayo, reg cheese, reg milk, pasta, breads, jams or peanut butter, no fatty meats, etc.

And sometimes I'll have sugar on my cereal or in my coffee/tea but I'm definitely not overeating.

I'll keep ya'll posted and will be here for ya'll too :)

hugs xoxo
 
Hidden calories

cereal (we underestimate just how much we pour ourselves)
yogurt cups (don't know what type but these can be 100+ calorie bombs)
10 crackers (likely close to 100 calories there)
protien shake (again, can be 200-400 calories)


Honestly? It might not look like a lot but we, as a whole, suck completely at knowing just how much we eat. I didn't think I ate much. I even went days only eating 2 meals...but there is a scientific reason I got to 400 pounds..that is calories in vs calories out.
 
Jeicho brings up a good point. There are a few good websites online that can assist you with counting calories. Measure/weigh your food so you know exactly how many calories you're getting. Then, write it down, or use on online website to help keep track. Some people find it tedious, boring, unnecessary, or even painful to do. I'm finding it beneficial. I used to do a half assed attempt of vaguely keeping track of calories in my head, measuring out portions, and shooting for some close estimate of how many calories I should be eating. Since I started writing the calories down and looking at them, and using them to figure out how many calories I should eat the rest of the day, its been very motivating, and easy. Its actually making me start viewing food as fuel, rather than something to do for fun. I'm eating enough to fill up the tank, and if I eat more, I can directly and immediately see the consequence by looking at how many extra calories it added, rather than waiting for the next day and hoping that what I ate didn't make the scale go up.

Once you know for sure how many calories you're eating, you may find you want to make some changes in your diet. Maybe you'll find you're eating more than you thought and if you try to eat the less of the same stuff, youll still feel hungry. But you know what, add in an entire bag of mixed frozen veggies for likely under 100 calories and I guarentee you'll feel full afterwards.
 
Honestly, I've never been a huge calorie counter -- when I lost the weight before, I didn't count calories. Calories in doesn't = value to me... what I mean is.... you can have a yogurt cup that's say 60-100 cals, or 3 chips that's 100 cals.... you get a lot more from teh yogurt (protein, low fat, etc). The chips just give you saturated fat. You can have 100 healthy calories or 100 unhealthy calories, it's still 100 calories..... so I'm not sure that the calorie is the end all be all. I did track (diligently) for a while and I was coming in at around 1700 cals/day give or take 150 cals. I'm still under 2000 cals for the day then, plus I'm exercising which uses up more calories/energy. I will definitely consider really tracking calories for a while, just to see..... but I'm 90% sure that I'm fine. Oh, and my bowl of cereal is 1/2 cup.... I measure it.

Something that I did find worked for me and I'm going to begin doing a slight variation of it, is the BFL program. It really worked for me.... but it's extremely challenging! I don't think I can do the 6 days/week but I'm shooting for 5 days/week. We'll see.....

Thanks :)
bluemomma
 
bluemomma said:
You can have 100 healthy calories or 100 unhealthy calories, it's still 100 calories..... so I'm not sure that the calorie is the end all be all.
Click to expand...

Science can assure you that yes, calories are the end all be all of weight loss/gain.

Portion control/size is key here.

What you are overlooking is the fact that there are plenty of unhealthy skinny people, and skinny does not equal healthy.

Calories determine weight gain/loss.

Nutrients (or lack of them) determine health.

There is also such a thing as a healthy chip and an unhealthy yogurt.
 
I disagree..... if your 100 cals is high in saturated fat, what's not used is stored because we all virtually have sugar in our bodies at any given time waiting to bind to fat and get stored as triglycerides (cellulite). What winds up happening is that your body will reduce and/or metabolize muscle mass to compensate as required, if you drop your calories too low. Then you wind up in a real jam because you've just lowered your metabolic rate. It's not calories alone.... if it was, the atkins diet wouldn't work (not that I advocate it specifically, or long term, but it DOES work because you trick your metabolism).

I think that calorie intake definitely is a key player in monitoring just how much food you take in, but it's not the end all be all of dieting. For example..... body builders take in MASS amounts of food to feed their muscles but it's all low/no fat and very, very low carb, and high protein. They're certainly not fat! Not saying this is overly healthy either, just using it as an example. Arnold certainly was never obese LOL.

I have decided that my approach to this will be what it was before: HIIT cardio with bodybuilding/weights, and low fat, low carb, high protein diet. The parts that I am changing is that I will cut out virtually all starchy carbs completely this time, and I'm really going to push the body building aspect in addition to daily cardio. I need to shake things up big time!

Thanks for replying! This is really motivating me... talking about it and thinking about my approach :)
 
You might look into Jorge Cruise's "Belly Fat Cure." He suggests, like you seem to be, that losing weight has less to do with how many calories you eat and more what type of calories they are. I don't think this is totally true--at times he seems to be simplifying a *little* too much--but I can say that I found the program manageable and pretty realistic. I go to college and I get compensated (not paid) for my job, part of which includes meals at the cafeterias on campus, so it isn't really possible or realistic for me to go out and buy a bunch of food when I can eat for free. I had to bend Cruise's rules a little bit based on what the cafeteria offered, but in a month a lost nearly 10 lbs--a HUGE accomplishment for someone who has struggled to lose one pound in a month.

I love that Cruise doesn't take anything away from you like Atkin's, South Beach, or similar diets. You are still allowed to eat meat, fruit, vegetables, and grains--as long as they are the right ones. It seems like you might find something like this a little more helpful because of his philosophy on calories. I still agree with Kayshiz...it is a matter of pure science that you must burn more than you take in, but it's also true that there is good and bad. I can eat 100 calories of candy or 100 calories of chicken, and the chicken will always be the better choice because it is chemically more nourishing for my body. HOWEVER, I've still eaten 100 calories and I still am going to have to burn more than 100 calories to be at a deficit.

I don't know how it would work for losing a large amount of weight, but any plan that advocates a balanced diet where you are taking in ALL types of food and not restricting yourself to a few choices will be healthier for your body and mind in the long run.

You might also see a doctor (or several, until you find one you like) and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Many clinics employ nutritionists who will help you come up with a diet that works for you and your specific weight loss goals. These professionals are often covered by your insurance plan as well :)
 
bluemomma said:
It's not calories alone.... if it was, the atkins diet wouldn't work (not that I advocate it specifically, or long term, but it DOES work because you trick your metabolism).
Click to expand...

Atkins works because it is a low calorie diet in disguise.

See also low-fat diets, low protein diets, etc...

Take away 30-50% of what you normally eat and "tah-dah" less calories are consumed. It doesn't matter what you take out, just that you are.

You can't trick your body, it's smarter then you. It knows how to operate itself without us even present.

Yes, you could actually lose weight eating nothing but candy bars (I can't believe I'm saying this, but where is Jacklinger when I need him? lol)
 
Kayshiz said:
Yes, you could actually lose weight eating nothing but candy bars (I can't believe I'm saying this, but where is Jacklinger when I need him? lol)
Click to expand...

Oh my, I can't believe you just said that on a weight loss forum, you naughty naughty imp. lol :p :smilielol5:
 
OMG LOL.... imp? roflmao... that made me giggle. But seriously, I'm not saying cutting calories doesn't work... what I AM saying is that it's not the end all be all. Case in point.... bodybuilders don't eat less than 2000 cals/day but they have like 4% body fat or something ridiculous like that..... a calorie is simply energy. WHAT that energy is made of however, is probably just as important if not more important than the calorie itself. Candybars.... omg that was funny too LOL..... ya'll are a riot :)

HUGS XOXO
bluemomma
 
bluemomma said:
OMG LOL.... imp? roflmao... that made me giggle. But seriously, I'm not saying cutting calories doesn't work... what I AM saying is that it's not the end all be all. Case in point.... bodybuilders don't eat less than 2000 cals/day but they have like 4% body fat or something ridiculous like that..... a calorie is simply energy. WHAT that energy is made of however, is probably just as important if not more important than the calorie itself. Candybars.... omg that was funny too LOL..... ya'll are a riot :)

HUGS XOXO
bluemomma
Click to expand...

Yeah, I agree. I'll take a calorie from a banana over a calorie from donuts any day. lol :iagree:
 
Someone please correct me if I'm wrong but there is yet to be any evidence to suggest it matters where your calories come from as far as weight loss is concerned..

Health is different, then it matters what macro and micro nutritients you're consuming but when it comes to losing weight, it's literally an energy equation. It really is!

I don't think this means anyone is saying you should get your 1700 kcals, or whatever, all from chocolate though... there is more to nutrition and health than calories but there's only energy in and energy out when it comes to the size of your fat stores!

Ok I'm done rewriting the same point.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm understanding you fully but are you saying body builders can eat more calories because of the TYPE of food they eat? That's not true. They can eat more calories for a two main reasons:
i) they have a high basal metabolic rate due to their increased muscle mass
ii) they expend large amounts of energy working out.

Finally, this is just a bit of personal advice but don't be so hard on yourself. Weight loss can be easier and simpler than you're making it for yourself. Don't waste too much time and effort setting up grand plans for your diet and exercise. Just act - consistently! - at taking small steps towards being healthier every day. You dont need to cut everything out and work out beyond your capabilities, it only sets you up to fail and feel disappointed in yourself, which just isn't fair on you. It needn't be that way!

Just remember that if you want the weight off forever, then you have to act in a way that you can keep up forever.

Read some stickies in the nutrition and exercise forums, they'll help you out on the details and provide lots of proven information about weight loss.

I hope I helped.
 
Well Holly that depends.... since weight is not a measure of fat, but rather a measure of the force of gravity on mass, then yes depending on *where* your calorie came from, it could matter.

I mean, if you *lose weight* on a scale, and that's your goal, then no it probably doesn't matter. However, if you want to lose mass and could care less about what a scale says, then it does matter. To lose fat, you need to remove it from your body (not just the measure of gravity on ur mass). That being said, the best way to lose mass is to build muscle and burn fat.... if your calories come from carbs only let's say.... your body will metabolize ur glycogen supply and muscle mass to get the EFA's it needs..... so yes, you'll weigh less but you'll be *skinny-fat*. Put it this way.... I'm 5'5".... at 16 yrs old, I weight 150 lbs and was a size 6. My BFF was also 5'5" and weighed 125. She was a musician..... I'm an athlete. We were both a size 6.

Hope that answers your question?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top