Natsky Diary: Tis a transformation, thats it, thats all, but oh, was it ever....

Natsky

New member
I am looking to make a transformatoin from the old Natty, to the new one. I need to recreate myself in all new ways. No more going along the way side. I need to reach my vision, or even make my vision. My vision isnt quite clear, but I know I want to be thinner, healthier, feel sexy, and on top of the world. but it will take more than losing weight. It will take .... growing knowledge of ones self, a certain amount of comittement and what not. Its time for me to transform from the negative Natty to the positive one. I used to be called Natalie jo on here, no more do I go by that name. I am natty or natsky. A little way to differentiate, is I wont be so personal. I realize this is just a forum, but I get caught up in things too much and maybe now I see what I did to my own old diary...

so there it tis a transformatoin, thats all, thats what it is and will be, time to hang up the old, and come in with the brand new...

always
natsky:biggrinjester:
 
I feel a little like Clark Kent lmao

I have purchased new lenses and glasses lol

They are black, I always looked good in black.

I was always Emo, its just the way it has always been. I dont know why I was always Emo, even before the word Emo came out. I was in high school from 1992-1996

Graduated 1996 with too many credits lol took a lot of English. I am a writer, or restarting my book. Its good so far... I will tell a little about it later ...

but anyway so I am getting these Clark Kent glasses, will post a pic later ...

and I feel good for once ..a brighter day has come and it shows in the skies. Today was supposed to be raining and drab, instead the sun is shining and its thirty eight degrees... warm and sunny .. yea!!

anyway ttylater
Natsky:party:
 
lol Very cool. Some people are suprised how one little addition can make you feel. I bought a felt cowboy hat, black, and just felt cool in it. How one sees themselves is one of the top modivators in any change.

Good for you
 
lol Very cool. Some people are suprised how one little addition can make you feel. I bought a felt cowboy hat, black, and just felt cool in it. How one sees themselves is one of the top modivators in any change.

Good for you

thank you Jericho for writing in my diary. True, what you say! I love black glasses, they say so much. Pieces of me cant be lost in these...

I think the glass glasses are beautiful. I love wearing them .... I have had many pairs, but these are especially nice. I looked in the mirror and finally felt like I knew the person there. I hope that person becomes smaller in size, width...and I hope I become a positive person and stay that way. We all have our ins and outs with negativity and positive way of dealing with things... I think the black glasses really are a positive thing... I am stuck wearing glasses, but I actually love having them. Its good. I feel like I am a librarian ... lol I love libraries and I adore books. Especially fantasy books...

its all good

Hope to hear from you again, thanks again for dropping by.

Natsky:biggrinjester:
 
I really like the colors they offer for font, kind of makes the diary look a little cooler lol

but anyway

Today was a good day ..or so far. I am under calories, but I am going to have five oz of grapes which usually fill me up and they are actually quite a bit of calories in themselves, and they are sweet ... tasty and ...

well you get the point ..
anyway ...
I will keep trecking, though I have faltered some ...
but I am getting back on track, tomorrow going for a speed walk forty to forty five minutes. And try to be right on with my caloric intake.

ttylater
Natsky:party:
 
Hi Natsky; My sons used to joke about how I'd talk to strangers at the bus stop or people in the grocery stores. I'd joke back and say you know I'm getting lonely and not doing enough to get out and be with friends when I start talking to everyone's cat, dog and pet rock.

For myself, overeating has meant sitting in front of the telly, but definitely staying home and isolating, instead of going out or being with friends or pursuing interests. I've gone in and out of this habit. Sometimes isolating myself, sometimes out and about. I know for a fact how much happier I am when I'm taking care of myself in a holistic way, not just eating healthy and exercising, but also becoming fulfilled by getting out there. I take a dance class, volunteer at the nursing home, or join a writing group, anything to get out and be around people.

I hope this diary and your new focus on the glass half full will lead you to believe what a gift you are to the world and to all of us. Stay strong!
 
Hey! :)
Happy to see your new journal and to learn it's going pretty well! You can do it! :hurray:
:hug2:
Lilia

Somewhere in my mind I know I can do it, but sometimes it seems kind of lost on me! But thanks for the jumping smiley. lol its cute. But I know I can do it. It just takes on second at a time, deciding what to do, what to have, how to react to people, familly. Even how you let people effect you. I let people effect me in such a horrendous way, not hopefully anymore. I was upset no one wrote in my last diary, I finally decided I will write in whoevers diary I feel like it. A lot of times I want these peeps to feel good. I am a good person. I want to help peeps. I am always concerned about others, even putting peeps, even peeps on here, before me. And it seems so trivial, why let a group of peeps online affect you so much.. but I dont anymore. It is very nice you wrote. I enjoy your diary. Its very positive and its one of the diaries I will definitely continue to write in, because your so damn nice too. And I like people with heart.

I am sure most of the peeps on here have heart. But I at least would say hi. How are you doing? But I was getting views up the wazoo lol I felt like a show on a channel with no visible way to ... I dont know ...but that is gone, that diary is on the way side. I am going to try to pull, not just a physical transformation, but a mental transformation. I want to come off klonopin. Its a big deal to me. It can cause you to go blind. I dont need all the affects it gives me. I am taking my courage to a new height and coming off a narcotic that really messes with me. Klonopin is a narcotic, as some might not know, it is a recommended thing only for a few months, but I have been on it for ten years. I also want to get out and meet people.

I have a friend named Heather, we have yet to really get together ... She needs to get her car back, once her husbands truck is fixxed. But once she does, We are going to start going on walks together, maybe even go mall walking and maybe I can look at where the empty old bookstore used to be ..and stop into Barnes n noble and catch the new stuff coming out ..about tales of Vampires, the fey, Mercy Thompson Series by Pattricia Briggs. Seems she has written more novels not having to do with the Mercy Thompson series ...

but you seem pretty cool .. Thanks for writing ... I will drop in on your diary. Its always nice to see people in your diary.

ttylater
Natsky:party:
 
Hi Natsky; My sons used to joke about how I'd talk to strangers at the bus stop or people in the grocery stores. I'd joke back and say you know I'm getting lonely and not doing enough to get out and be with friends when I start talking to everyone's cat, dog and pet rock.

For myself, overeating has meant sitting in front of the telly, but definitely staying home and isolating, instead of going out or being with friends or pursuing interests. I've gone in and out of this habit. Sometimes isolating myself, sometimes out and about. I know for a fact how much happier I am when I'm taking care of myself in a holistic way, not just eating healthy and exercising, but also becoming fulfilled by getting out there. I take a dance class, volunteer at the nursing home, or join a writing group, anything to get out and be around people.

I hope this diary and your new focus on the glass half full will lead you to believe what a gift you are to the world and to all of us. Stay strong!

I talk with everyone Lili, I talk with other shoppers in line. I talk to dogs ..cats. I used to talk to myself outside in the open, my mouth flapping. Its a way to clear the mind. I love being on a speed walk and just let the thoughts and moods run of me, crying .. whatever may happen, sometimes I cry because I am so happy that I am out walking in a beautiful day. I love when I cry for happiness, it feels so refreshing .. I love crying! lol I love feeling emotions .. even the negative ones. I think a lot of peeps take advantage of feeling....

On the klonopin it dulls your mind, sedates you, and I didnt feel anymore, two days after cutting it down to four mg .. I cried over something that my fiance did, he always does it, but I didnt know how to approach him. Lost in agony over it, I realized .. well I cried. ... it felt so good and I went to him and he realized just what was going on.. it feels good to have emotion back and memories back ...

What meds do... even I dont know ... even doctors dont know ..they subscribe something to you ... and they dont know what it will do for you even. Sometimes I wonder how much should I trust the doctors lol but you are right, going outside, being social, no isolation is the way to go. And I really am trying to do more socialization than isolation. As a matter of fact I have someone who is trying to fix that part of my life, they feel I isolate too much.

So she and I are going to a little place where they change every season and sells things for decorations ...

so I am going to bring a few bucks with me and maybe I will find something floral for the beginning of spring.

Thanks for mentioning this, because the isolation is big, but its getting better .. I am going to call Heather after I get off here, I think she lives close by. I think the problem is she doesnt want to walk to my place, she wants to drive .. I dont have a car, nore see the need for one; however, it is nice when you need to get groceries lol

but ... I am going to see about .. walking to her house ..and just saying hi. Having a visit. Her daughter, this is funny, reads the same things I do...lol we both went to the library with Heather and Heather's mom. And Her daughter and I were walking out with ten books each. I really get along with them. I live in the same building with her mother ... I guess Heather is isolated, stays at the computer all day and needs a reason to go out. And I always felt that way too, not so much anymore ... but I have isolated myself entirely too much and its funny you bring up isolation, because the functional support person who is helping me with that, called just yesterday ..just about pushing me out the door already for Thursday ...lol I was like ..ok umm sure ..
I didnt know what to say.

but its all good ..this journal is about Transformation. And one of the things I have to do, is forget the taunts from the little people who love to tease big people, I need to forget all these people and not let them scare me inside, but I go outside now. I dont care what they think ... but I did for two years ..and now I am so proud... I walk ... with my head held up high and I love it!! Its such a rush!!

well ttylater hun
Thanks for stopping in. I really appreciate what you say, it all speaks so true!
ttylater Lili

always
natsky:hurray:
 
Hello...
I am only 24 calories under my natural, supposed to eat caloric intake. I want the deficit, but I dont think its going to happen, but I will still have deficit of 207 or more. But I plan to take a forty five minute walk, thirty like the gates of hell have opened and than ten .. a slight jaunt .. slowing down ... and going down the snowey hill ...but a nice way to slow down the heart beat and just enjoy the rest of my walk. I am going to walk to the commons, most of the snow must be melted and tomorrow its going to be almost forty degrees ..and sunny, bright ... no meatballs or cloudy... new movie, old book ...

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs, never read it, but Derek swears by it and is borrowing the movie from the library. I plan to read the tiny book, just to see what it is... never heard of it lol until now ...

But I think the cover is cute on the book. We are going to see if Vivi has a copy, their old copy. The siblings, meaning Derek and Katie... talk about books for young Vivi...and it always comes up whether she has some of their old books. She actually has all of them, but I am buying the little six year old a bunch of new books, most about dogs. She has a dog named Stover, dont ask. Comical dog and she takes rides on him, kind of ..she bugs the hell out of him ..but the little dog loves her ...

Vivi is such a sweetheart!!

anyway ... so I have ended the day well!!

And tomorrow is going to be fannnntastic ... lots of good weather ... and I am so at the park, which is the commons... lol

ttylater all
Natsky:cheers2:
 
Good for you deciding to quit the narcotic! I bet it won't be easy, but its gonna be so good for ya in the long run :) Hope your walk is amazing!!
 
Good for you deciding to quit the narcotic! I bet it won't be easy, but its gonna be so good for ya in the long run :) Hope your walk is amazing!!

It isnt an illegal drug btw. lol Its an anxiety medicine...lol but it is pretty bad. It works well, but what it does is sedate you, it makes more Gaba whatever chemical in your body that is produces in the neural part of your body ... well anyway its good for the short run, but one should not be put on it as long as I was ...

it also makes you gain weight, as the geodon does too. My only thing that is ok, is Effexor which is a slight appetite suppressant ... so thats good ..so it kind of fights off the other twos influence of making me hungry lol

well anyway the walk will be beautiful... I am so looking forward to it!!

ttylater
Natsky
 
*grins*

Just realised that you are from New Hampshire, New England and *I* am from Hampshire, England!

Copy cats!
 
Today, Today, What is with ... T...today?

So What is with today, its absolutly, incredible, amazing weather.... Thats whats up.

Its going to get up to 38 degrees today and there will be a bright ... well the sun will and is right now...so bright... its breathtaking from the window. Cant wait to be outside and feel the sun on my face. It will be so excellent. Yesterday was so warm, part of the day I wore this loose spring jacket, it was in the forties. So beautiful, but after tomorrow its supposed to get into the twenties, but I will still be walking. Maybe not as fast due to the cold, but I will be wearing a scarf and hat ...brr ... I hate when it starts going down ... but it will be so beautiful. Supposed to be beautiful this week, sun shining high in the sky... I am looking forward to the whole week and next week to, according to the weather channel its supposed to warm up after three days of twenties, back into the low thirties it will go. But it looks a little windy out today, so I am going to wear a scarf today and hat, my hair will still be wet when we go... I cant believe Derek is still in bed!!!! its almost eleven am lol Oh well, to each his own ...

but anyway have to go run and take shower ... need to get ready for walking!!

ttylater
Natsky

btw... didnt eat last night. I took in all my calories I was supposed to... good stuff, but woke up early this morning and had the rest of the whipped topping cream, but it has not fat or cholesterol or calories... he put maple sugar in it ...so it had a light taste of maple ... but I am not hurting in the calorie dpt ... anyway there wasnt much of it and I put it as if I ate all of it, when Derek actually ate some, just want to make sure I hold myself accounatable ...
and I had one little dumpling .. need to eat my k protien cereal ... 1.5 cups... weighed it and put it under custom foods ...

anyway laterz
Natsky
 
Hi!

Nice to see you've started a new journal!:) I saw that you mentioned the library a couple of times. I worked as a library assistant for 8 years. Loved it! I wish I could get a job in the library again. Hey, you just posted as I clicked "reply"! Hope you have a good walk.

WillLose
 
:cheers2:
*grins*

Just realised that you are from New Hampshire, New England and *I* am from Hampshire, England!

Copy cats!

Lmao ... Sunflower ...

Actually we are not too much of copy cats. They used to, the pilgrims would follow the Kings bible... but eventually they realized "Hey we left Englsnd so we could do our own thing and worship whoever we wanted!" so thus .. thats what happened lol not necessarily copy cats lol

This New Hampshire is Different ... its "Live free, or die" thats our state motto and let me tell you, they live up to it... sometimes not such a great thing, but otherwise we are pretty good people ...

lol copy cats ... too funny!!

anyway ttylater
Natsky
 
Hi!

Nice to see you've started a new journal!:) I saw that you mentioned the library a couple of times. I worked as a library assistant for 8 years. Loved it! I wish I could get a job in the library again. Hey, you just posted as I clicked "reply"! Hope you have a good walk.

WillLose

Thanks WillLose ..
I shall have a wonderful walk!!
:hurray:
Natsky
 
I'm enjoying the upbeat attitude you seem to be having. I'm almost jealous :p


A positive and good attitude is a major piece of weight loss too many forget about.
 
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