nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

[nataliejo]

Yey!!! Natjo, well done! You can do this! You are doing so well... You definitely can!

However, even if Peter thinks 200 is a good weight, he is not you and only you can decide which weight YOU would like to be. If you get to 200 and you think, you know what my BMI would be better and my life and body would look nicer if I lose another 20 or 30 pounds then do it, for yourself! Because you know guys come and go, and the right guy will stay no matter which weight you are!

My man wanted me thinner, but other than sometimes saying I could lose some pounds he never said he wanted me at a specific weight. And neither do I. I love him and that is what counts. Now if he gets very skinny or very big and is unhappy... that is something else, I want him to be happy! But at which weight everyone is happy... is independent on what other people think of which weight would look the best on you.

However, since 200 and the whole debate is still 70 pounds away from now... we can leave this post til then !
Have a great weekend, Camy

Oh thanks Camy .. you are so sweet.. I will be happy at 200 ..I will be jogging ..and running across the parking lot and I will very curvy .. I want to be a curvy girl u know .. the typical man that I like ...with a little color ... likes women with curves ..and I love being curvacious .. I have a Maralyn Monroe type of body and look damn hot at 250, which is only twenty three. eight pounds away, which is really exciting for me .. its time to start the weight training so my skin will pull in ..it has been so far ..but I need to make sure it continues ..you know ..pilates is good because it works your core muscles ..which is what I need to do
but thanks for stopping in hun .. I am definitely taking your post to hear and if I want to lose that extra weight I will .. I think Peter would be happy for me and want me all the same ..because no matter what weight I have definite curves ..but I dont want a really flat tummy .. I would be so happy and so steamingly hot at 200 it would be awesome .. I feel hot sometimes, but other times I feel less than hot ..but I think as I lose weight I am feeling hotter and hotter ... which is odd since I weigh so much .. u know ..
its very odd .. I didnt feel hot back than three years ago when I was this weight .. I felt ugly and unattractive .. u know ..but at 260 .. I felt pretty hot and at 250 I thought I was steaming ..so even at 250 I would be pleased ..but I am so curious what I would look like from when I was 19 ..lol when I was nineteen I gained from 180 to 200 ..and I am wondering how I will feel at that goal ..I think I will feel like some great hottie! I mean I already am feeling a we bit hot .. I am so loving this journey I am on ..the challenge is incredible... come school it will be harder, but I will continue ..I will just work out in the morning before I do homework and what not ..I go walking at ten in the morning ..probably make it nine am when the hot weather sets in ..because its bareable than ..
but thanks for your kind and supportive words ..

love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

You know what guys and gals,

I have been thinking..what if my skin doesnt completely shrink in ..what if I will have to have a tummy tuck ..I am going to start saving for one this year ..it will be another two to three years before I hit my goal weight .. I will just start toning what I do have now and working on it all .. I would be scared of going through major surgery ..I saw the tummy tuck on tv and it was gross ..but if thats what I need to do in the end of four to five years ..I will wait for the skin to pull in as much as it can ...but that might just have to happen ..and its something that I will have to think about ..especially having been 320 pounds before ..but its coming in so far ...

I will just work with weights and see what I can do about the skin coming in ..

but I hope it turns out that I dont need much work or if none ate all ...

best wishes
love yas
natalie jo

 

[veronandez86]

Whenever I read your posts, the beginning of this one song by Mims comes into my head: "This is why I'm hot, This is why I'm hot, this is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot. I'm hot cuz I'm fly, you aint cuz you not, this is why, this is why I'm hot!"

Anyway, I hope you dont end up having to have a tummy tuck. That's too major of a sergery. Maybe your skin will end up shrinking, enough so that you can decide if you really really want one or not. Saving up is a good Idea tho, that way 5 years from now, you will have all that dinero to buy yourself something aWeSomE if you end up deciding you dont need that surgery. I myself am more afraid I'm going to lose my boobs because I know the skin around my tummy isn't that streatched out. You like your curves and having junk in your trunk as you put it, me, I just want my boobs. LoL.

Anyway! Have an Awesome day today!

 

[nataliejo]

Whenever I read your posts, the beginning of this one song by Mims comes into my head: "This is why I'm hot, This is why I'm hot, this is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot. I'm hot cuz I'm fly, you aint cuz you not, this is why, this is why I'm hot!"

Anyway, I hope you dont end up having to have a tummy tuck. That's too major of a sergery. Maybe your skin will end up shrinking, enough so that you can decide if you really really want one or not. Saving up is a good Idea tho, that way 5 years from now, you will have all that dinero to buy yourself something aWeSomE if you end up deciding you dont need that surgery. I myself am more afraid I'm going to lose my boobs because I know the skin around my tummy isn't that streatched out. You like your curves and having junk in your trunk as you put it, me, I just want my boobs. LoL.

Anyway! Have an Awesome day today!

Hey Veronica,
I dont know who the mims are, but thanks, it was a good laugh. I know "hot" is definitely a topin in my diary of late. Well the reason is ..is Peter keeps telling me I am hot and I actually believe him almost completely now. lol

thanks for stopping in ...
My boobs are a 42DDD
They will most likely shrink down to a 38DD ..which I personally will love lmao ...
so we will see.. I am not liking the boobs right now ..not at all .. I am going to use weights to perk them up and make my upper chest strong .. I need to lose the weight in my chest. I have a concave chest ..which makes it very difficult to handle the weight on my chest ..it really does hurt ..but now that I have been losing weight, not so much anymore .. I just got to keep trecking ..
ttylater hun
and thanks for stopping in !!

love yas
your friend
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

I feel horrid
I was a total slacker today and didn't exercise. I went up and down the stairs a little and shovelled once I tell you ..I am totally bummed in myself ..lol
but tomorrow is another day and I know its going to be absolutely beautiful this weekend and I will be walking 42 minutes each day and I am actually going to try adding ... jogging when the snow clears, which will probably be by next weekend ..so I am going to jog on the beach with Peter .. he says its ok if I get a work out while we are there.. we will see how I do ..hmm

but I am totally bummed and the positivitey that I usually have is gone .. I am so bummed ... lol bad me bad me ..for not exercising .. I was so ready to do the dvd ..but I slacked and didnt get off my ass to do anything and still could ..but I just dont want to ..lol
ugh .. I guess I could say this is an out day and this weekend will be my in days ..yes .. I need to think ahead

on the other front I have been eating really well .. no binging ...filling myself up still ..well not filling but satiating my hunger .. every once in a while .. I am hungry now, but I am waiting for dinner .. you know ..
well ttylater
love yas
natalie jo
will have happy reports later ..

always
love yas
once again
natalie jo

 

[veronandez86]

You should believe it! I personally believe that if I belive that I am hot / attractive / and what not, then that's what other people will see in me because my confidence is high (but not so high that I seem snobby). But I had to work on my confidence and at believing that I was beautiful!

Anyhoo, I'm barely a full 38C and I am a push up bra fan. LoL. So, I'm comfortable with my chest. If I end up going down to a Small B cup, I think I'd be sad. (Well, depending on how the smaller bust looks on the smaller body frame I'm determinded to get.)

I'm glad that losing the weight you have has relieved some pressure from your chest. It's amazing that just a few pounds can help some of the pain go away. Me, I have lower back problems. I pretty much have to crack it by rotating my hips and leaving my sholders on the floor in order to relax or relieve some pressure. So hopefully losing weight will help that.

 

[veronandez86]

I feel horrid
I was a total slacker today and didn't exercise. I went up and down the stairs a little and shovelled once I tell you ..I am totally bummed in myself ..lol
but tomorrow is another day and I know its going to be absolutely beautiful this weekend and I will be walking 42 minutes each day and I am actually going to try adding ... jogging when the snow clears, which will probably be by next weekend ..so I am going to jog on the beach with Peter .. he says its ok if I get a work out while we are there.. we will see how I do ..hmm

but I am totally bummed and the positivitey that I usually have is gone .. I am so bummed ... lol bad me bad me ..for not exercising .. I was so ready to do the dvd ..but I slacked and didnt get off my ass to do anything and still could ..but I just dont want to ..lol
ugh .. I guess I could say this is an out day and this weekend will be my in days ..yes .. I need to think ahead

on the other front I have been eating really well .. no binging ...filling myself up still ..well not filling but satiating my hunger .. every once in a while .. I am hungry now, but I am waiting for dinner .. you know ..
well ttylater
love yas
natalie jo
will have happy reports later ..

always
love yas
once again
natalie jo

Oh No! I think my lack of motivation transfered to you once I got motivated! LoL. It's okay. I swear, it's a bit hard to be motivated to work out to a DvD sometimes. Plus, Tomorrow will be better for you!

It's awesome that Peter will let you get a workout in during your time together. He seems like a good man.

Jogging Eh? Yeah, I plan to start doing that too. I just gotta go buy me some new shoes, the pumas I workout in aren't really the running type. The soles are quite thin and I think I'd need more cusion on my feet, so I dont hurt myself jogging. And my regular shoes are skater shoes, so those wont do either.

Well, Good Luck Tomorrow and I hope it is beautiful outside so you can get your 42 min walk done!

Always,
Veronica

 

[nataliejo]

Oh No! I think my lack of motivation transfered to you once I got motivated! LoL. It's okay. I swear, it's a bit hard to be motivated to work out to a DvD sometimes. Plus, Tomorrow will be better for you!

It's awesome that Peter will let you get a workout in during your time together. He seems like a good man.

Jogging Eh? Yeah, I plan to start doing that too. I just gotta go buy me some new shoes, the pumas I workout in aren't really the running type. The soles are quite thin and I think I'd need more cusion on my feet, so I dont hurt myself jogging. And my regular shoes are skater shoes, so those wont do either.

Well, Good Luck Tomorrow and I hope it is beautiful outside so you can get your 42 min walk done!

Always,
Veronica

Thanks Veronica
Yea I am going to start jogging down the hills ..only down the hills for a long while ..when that gets easy than I will start jogging on the level areas .. until that gets easy ..than I will be jogging through the whole routine ..because its way too easy for me to walk ..its hard getting my heart rate up ..and thats what I need to do .some tomorrow I will get my heart rate up by walking quickly .. I will be working the groove .. I know I will be ..I just can't help and be bummed about today ..but as in the books it says "black and white thinking" not thinking about the fact I didnt over eat today, or undereat ..only thinking about the negative ,which is that I didnt get any real movement today ..so I guess I should take my own advice that I hand out to everyone and think positive .. I think I am feeling better already

thanks hun
love yas
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

I did it, but did I?
lol I love posing questions that are assinine...
so anyway I did pre-cut strawberries so I can binge on them tonight instead of some unknown rediculous food, that will make me gain a pound overnight. Strawberries it is ..

I didn't exercise at all today, actually I was very sedentary, thats not happening this weekend, but the snow we got today pissed me off...

but tomorrow I am waking up around nine am ...eating around nine thirty my three wonderful eggs that make me full half the day ..and I am going for my walk around ten am and I am wearing my boots to walk through the snow and anything else needed and I am walking my 42 minute walks ..because I felt like hell tonight after not walking .. I get my groove on when I walk ..I do awesome when I walk ..walking is my life ... walking is everything ..sure there is school ..but I need walking to function ..to become healthy ..

so thats what I did today and did tonight and didnt do at all..
but I read more of my food addict book and feel confident that I can make this journey and continue losing weight and even though I slipped up today with sitting around and being depressed about it ..tomorrow is another day and tomorrow I am going to take my long ..walk ..that I love so dearly ..that I get exhilerated over ..that I need so bad now that I have it everyday ..it excites me .. Thats why I cant do dvds and walk on the mill ..because I need the outdoors ..so I am hoping this week ..when it rains ..I will still walk at least for thirty minutes, with my raincoat ..on ..because you know what ..that raincoat cost forty to sixty bucks ..time to use it ..supposed to snow and rain after the weekend ..what will I be doing ..dressing the way I should for a good damn walk! whoot whoot!

and I ate so well today ..I didnt starve myself, but I didnt overeat and bloat myself ..but man am I hungry and can't wait till mom comes home. I cooked dinner and I only will take one piece of meat ..because they are pretty big pieces .. I am going to eat the way I should be eating ..finally I am figuring out this healthy diet thing ..

well ttylater all
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[ABBAgirl]

WOOT! WOOT! Hurray for you on getting down to a new low!! YOU ARE ROCKIN' THE SCALES, SISTER!!!

You sound very healthy in your thinking these days. No sense ever beating yourself up when you have a slip up; it is temporary and very simple to recover at the very next meal, when you make wiser choices!

Glad you are continuing to read your book on food addictions and growing as a result. Nothing like being aware of what we are eating...and what is eating us!

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!

ABBA

 

[jw372]

Don't beat yourself up for a day when you didn't walk! We all need rest days sometimes--I often find that the day after a rest is when my body finds itself strong enough to push my limits. So I can't, for example, do a full workout the day after one, but two days later? Oh, yeah, I can seriously work it. Anyway, many congratulations on the new low!

Sophie

 

[nataliejo]

WOOT! WOOT! Hurray for you on getting down to a new low!! YOU ARE ROCKIN' THE SCALES, SISTER!!!

You sound very healthy in your thinking these days. No sense ever beating yourself up when you have a slip up; it is temporary and very simple to recover at the very next meal, when you make wiser choices!

Glad you are continuing to read your book on food addictions and growing as a result. Nothing like being aware of what we are eating...and what is eating us!

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!

ABBA

Thanks Janice!!
Its all because of the book and all of your support ..everyone support!
Your all so wonderful ..you all are so smart and know what you are talking about and I take your advice and take it toooo heart!
So I am charged up and ready to get this journey on the march!! lol

ttylater hun
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Don't beat yourself up for a day when you didn't walk! We all need rest days sometimes--I often find that the day after a rest is when my body finds itself strong enough to push my limits. So I can't, for example, do a full workout the day after one, but two days later? Oh, yeah, I can seriously work it. Anyway, many congratulations on the new low!

Sophie

Hey Sophie!!
Yea I shouldnt beat myself up... I know this ..but once in a while I fall into that trap of thinking .. u know ..but I did alright by the end of the night
Thanks for your kind and wise words ...

love yas
always your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Well folks
I didnt eat last night for once ..I wanted to ..but every time I wanted to go .. I told myself no and forced myself back into bed ..I was hungry ..but very happy this morning and instead of having my strawberries last night .. I had them this morning when I woke up ..it was nice .. and I am talking with Peter now .. my "mancandy" lmao ...

anyway so I weighed myself this morning and I weigh 274.2, but you know what ..its still lower than 276 ..which is what I was last monday ...so I think I am doing pretty good this week ...so even if I just stay at this weight or less on weight in day .. Monday. .the last day of March.. I will still be happy!

ttylater everyone
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Its wierd ..
I just found this journal...from when I was 290.1 ...and than I was down to 288 and than I stopped writing in it ..because I fell off the wagon ..but its kind of cool to know ... now I weigh 274.2 ..lol ... so more than ten pounds ... that was back in January ... now its March ... time to lose another fifteen pounds .. I want to be down to 260 by October .. I have decided to change my goal to five pounds less than originally planned Whoot Whoot!

love yas guys
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey folks... gals and guys...

Well I took my 40 minute walk ..I guess it took me two minutes less.. I was walking faster ..it was good.. I got my heart rate up a little! I am happy about that!

Yea for a good WALK!! So Anyway I am going to start writing in that diary and keep my numbers from the scale in there, just so when I get down ..I can look at the beginning and see how far I have come ..it worked today .. I was like "You can do this Natalie" while I was walking and I walked the whole thing ... but my calf muscles started hurting part way through ..and my but started hurting ..muscles I believe ..means I am using them... good!!

well ttylater
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Well I binged on Pretzels, because I was lonely and mad and upset. UGH And I knew I was doing it because of that, but continued anyway. ugh... so I was bad tonight... ugh

but tonight is still fresh.. I already ate a small piece of Pork .. I will just have a little sweet potato and veggie later and call it a night and I wont take much of either ..

Well weigh in day is in two days, we will see what the scale says ..

I almost feel like I am living by the scale again ..hmm I better back away from it ... hmm yes .. I am going for a forty minute walk in the morning and if I am up to it and its warm enough a twenty minute walk later in the day, figure I might as well add more time for walking during the day ..u know ..just go two different routes ..they overlap ..but thats ok ..it will be good to walk more during the day, plus I can do it in the afternoon around one thiry or something, because the fact is I would increase my metabolism during the day too, which would be very good ..

well ttylater
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[Tabitha]

Hi Natalie Jo

Do you find that you feel better after going for a walk outside? I find it odd that it works a bit like a therapy for me, it even helped lower my post natal depression... which I can feel raising it's head now I can't go out as much as I was due to only having a single push chair and 2 kids... somehow doubt JJ will keep up for 5 miles somehow!

Just dig yr heels in and use some of yr determination and you'll be fine. (mmm pork you've got me fancying that now... I've had a weekend on the chicken!)

Tab x

 

[nataliejo]

Hi Natalie Jo

Do you find that you feel better after going for a walk outside? I find it odd that it works a bit like a therapy for me, it even helped lower my post natal depression... which I can feel raising it's head now I can't go out as much as I was due to only having a single push chair and 2 kids... somehow doubt JJ will keep up for 5 miles somehow!

Just dig yr heels in and use some of yr determination and you'll be fine. (mmm pork you've got me fancying that now... I've had a weekend on the chicken!)

Tab x

Well It is more pleasing for me to go for the forty minute walk, but I didn't feel like getting out today. So I used my mom's treadmill, which wasn't as nice, but it did work out parts of my body, that never get a work out. So that was nice. So maybe I will use the treadmill for ten to fifteen minutes day, along with my regular walk, now that would be a feat lol

well I hope you have a good day and week
ttylater Tabitha
thanks for stopping in
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

ok gals..
and guys
I am at a cross roads.. again. I have gained to 275.2 pounds and this totally sucks. I can't and don't want to gain anymore weight, yet all I did today was walk for fifteen minutes on the treadmill ... worth it, but still not the length I wanted. I don't know what to do with myself. Since seeing myself go up again I am down ..down about the weight loss or gain actually. Mom is upset because I am losing weight. So she is bringing all this junk into the house, and its totally sabotaging me. I know thats what she is doing, and I never dreamed she would, but she is actually jealous of me..how odd ..what a feeling ..having my mother jealous of me ..she weighs about 220-225 ...she is like so much less than me ..by at least fifty pounds ...

why does she need to do this ...so it makes her feel better probably ..
well no more ..no more eating her sabotaging food ..I am not going to let anyone ..even myself sabotage me. I won't eat the disgusting bad food she brings in.. it was mexican and very good, but man do you gain weight of that guac and sourcream and cheese ...and she almost made me eat another BIG pieces of Pork ..thing is ealier in the night I had eaten this small piece of pork..a regular serving if you ask me...
and yet she wanted me to eat a piece double its size ..thats three servings .. what I ate actually satisfied me, if I had done what she was demanding me to do than I would have expanded my stomach, by being bloated and being full more than I would ever want to be ...ugh ..

so ... I am not going to sit by and let her force feed me or leave goodies around. I am not eating this crap! and she is not going to make me eat over my full! Your not even supposed to make yourself full, just satiated ..
oh well .. I hope my will power stays in contact!

well ttylater
love yas
always
natalie jo