nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

[nataliejo]

you can never be cmpletely organised!! you are doing great!
yeah a good walk always does the world of good...and biking sounds great...i might go for a walk later if i find a walking partner hehe!

take care
;-)
x

Thanks a-n-g-e-l!
I know. I am getting pretty organized however. I just put up a new hanging rack for my clothes and it is awesome! My room is looking better than ever, but the bookcase is much too hard to do alone. I am going to see if my mom wants to help me put it together. It is so complicated. I can't believe how complicated it is. Usually these things are so easy. You have an Allen wrench and you just put the pieces together until you get a beautiful new piece of furniture! oh well...but I had to carry that thing up the stairs. Its the heaviest bookcase I have ever had. I mean this thing weighs a ton...

but oranization is my middle name now lmao

Natalie jo organization Beinhorn ttylater hun
love yas
always
Natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

NJ! How have you been Nat? I'm sick at home , in bed, with a slight fever, a runny nose and a sore throat- all those crazy walks in the winter I am assuming- I do not know how you do them? Maybe I should bundle up more?

Anyways, aren't you excited? Another year towards a new and improved you! No looking back!

Hmm...emotional binging...I think everyone does that at some point in there life. While I have not completely stopped doing it, I know I do it far less than I used to. Really, I would not know the best way to tackle it. We all go through our " I give up" points...but something just pushes us back on track.


Anyways, I hope you had an awesome start to the year Nat...it's going to be a new and better year for all of us!

Oh Misty! That stinks. You need a scarf, hat, mittens, and good winter jacket that is good against blustery cold ... thats what you need and with the scarf... you need to be able to bring it over your mouth ...

the air goes into your mouth big time when your walking and thats what brings on the cold ...you really need to keep yourself warm ..even if you sweat during the walk inside your coat ...its tuff ...

but I haven't been walking much ..but last night I did walk for twenty minutes ... it was interesting .. I didn't folliow my own rules ...
I just wore this thin green sweater and this pair of jeans ..

A SIZE SMALLER THAN BEFORE, YES PEEPS .. i AM IN ONE SMALL SIZE DOWN .. I AM NO LONGER A SIZE 26, I AM NOW A SIZE 24. I AM FITTING IN VERY OLD CLOTHES THAT MY SISTER BOUGHT FOR MY FIVE YEARS AGO! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WOWSER... I GUESS THE DIET ..OR ANTI DIET FOR COMPULSIVE EATERS DOES WORK ... I HAVEN'T BEEN BINGING AS BADLY .. I AM DOWN IN SIZE TOO, BUT NOT GOING TO REPORT THAT UNTIL MY WEIGH IN DAY ON THE 10TH ..YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister and I are going to the movies tomorrow, and I am going to enjoy a small popcorn with butter and a water... yes ...a water ...and popcorn .. I haven't had popcorn for ages. I haven't been to the movies for three whole years. My ex wouldn't let me go ...he didn't want to see the movies in the theater ...he wanted to lend them from the library...so I never got to see the last Harry Potter movies in the theater, I am so upset. All those great movies. I have not seen "The Goblet of Fire" Yet. I have almot all the book. Two left to buy, but never had time to do the whole series. My dedication to the books have increased and I swear to finish them this year, by 2009... hopefully before the last movie comes out...

and who knew dumbledorf was gay ... wow ... but its all good ...just changes the way you look at the film ... a lot of activits are against the books ... including the new movies ..."The Golden Compass" because its a goddless movies. But its has some spiritual aspects to it .. like Mother Nature. Which is funny because my story ..or book ..has mother nature in it ...as a might spirit who rules over Kastria ...hmmm ...cool stuff ... I hope I don't come off as copying ..my book has been since started seven years ago ...
hm

well I am going to continue what I have been doing with it ..its a beautiful book so far ..hopefully publishing is in the future ...

anyway guys ..talk to you laterz ...

love yas
always
Natalie jo
And Misty ..STAY WARM! lol love ya girl!!
later
Natalie jo

 

[Omega]

Hi Natalie Jo

Well done for going out on a 20 minute walk. That will do you a lot of good. I am so pleased. I swear that walking every day is the only thing that has worked for me - and it will for you too.

I am pleased that you have found a book that gives you some insight into your behaviour. However and whyever we got fat - we need to do lots of exercise to have a chance of losing the weight.

Take care
Love
Margaret

 

[misty22]

Thanks Nat! Yeah I need to make sure I cover half my face when I walk. Woohoo for the one dress size down! Good start Nat!

Love ya too
Misty
xoxo

 

[nataliejo]

Hi Natalie Jo

Well done for going out on a 20 minute walk. That will do you a lot of good. I am so pleased. I swear that walking every day is the only thing that has worked for me - and it will for you too.

I am pleased that you have found a book that gives you some insight into your behaviour. However and whyever we got fat - we need to do lots of exercise to have a chance of losing the weight.

Take care
Love
Margaret

Thanks Margaret!
I will be going walking tomorrow. Probably for thirty five minutes. Bundling up of course, I will actually taking my advice this time. lol

I shall drop by your diary .. I think is is so AWESOME...and I am so stoked for you that you have dropped to the weight you are! Your kicking butt hun!

love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Thanks Nat! Yeah I need to make sure I cover half my face when I walk. Woohoo for the one dress size down! Good start Nat!

Love ya too
Misty
xoxo

Hey Misty!
Its awesome to see you in my diary! I have missed everyone! lol my absence was not a good thing .. u know ..but once I got control over my anti-diet I am quite happy. I am fitting in clothes from three years ago. The shirts almost fit completely ..but my tummy is sticking out a little, an the pants are fitting perfectly ... happy happy joy joy!!

Anyway ..yes cover your face hun ..well your mouth, or even your nose if its reaaallly cold ...want to keep your extremeties warm too ... A good way to keep the cold off and get good exersize ..

ttylater hun
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hello Everyone,
I just read a post today about how to lose the last ten pounds, ten pounds they have been trying to lose for the past ten years, but can't seem to get the scale to budge.

And I remember how my weight gain first began. It was simply fifteen to twenty pounds. I was seventeen and 5'6 ... I just needed to lose to 155-160 ...thats it ...but I thought it was some huge hurdle. I had nightmares over my weight, than I started a whole list of things someone shouldn't do to lose weight ... which perpetuated the problem. Someday I hope I am back to that point again where I am wondering, "How do I lose these stubborn fifteen to twenty pounds?!" lol I will enjoy it than, the full recovery from denial to angst to woe, and finally to sheer enjoyment over a waist size that matches my height. I am very happy right now. I have begun healing from My compulsive eating. The Anti diet works. And thats whats so great. I will lose all these unwanted pounds. I have no idea how long it will take, but I am going to do it and am. I have already gone down one pant size, and my shirts from three years ago are starting to fit again. I am doing it. Its like a dream realized. I can do this! and it feels damn good knowing I am not on some diet craze .. I am on an Anti diet, I have finally found what will and would work...
love yas
always
natalie jo ((hugs))

 

[Omega]

It's good that you have found something that is working for you. Dropping clothes sizes is always something to celebrate.
Keep it up

 

[rah]

I am very happy right now. I have begun healing from My compulsive eating. The Anti diet works. And thats whats so great. I will lose all these unwanted pounds. I have no idea how long it will take, but I am going to do it and am. I have already gone down one pant size, and my shirts from three years ago are starting to fit again. I am doing it. Its like a dream realized. I can do this! and it feels damn good knowing I am not on some diet craze .. I have finally found what will and would work...

You sound like your in such a happy positve place and very determind so lets stay there If it works dont change it thats my theory LOL and fitting into those old shirts must make you grin ear to ear i know thats all i did once i got into my jeans LOL

Well Mika is on my ipod for the gym and when ever one of the somgs come on i work extra hard thanks for introducing me to his music

Take Care
Sarah

 

[nataliejo]

It's good that you have found something that is working for you. Dropping clothes sizes is always something to celebrate.
Keep it up

Thanks Margaret...
I thought it was working, but than I binged last night and this morning .. in total I ate three yogurts and two slices of cheese ...

I did eat something healthy this morning ...and in moderation ..
I ate two eggs, scrambled with milk, peppers of various colors with two slices of very thin provolone cheese ...and I have had the Everything Crackers ... I shall not eat until four pm ...when a little snack will do ...probably some fruit or something .. I have some fruit in the fridge...and than of course ..supper later ..on after six sorry to say ..my mom wants us to eat hot dogs ...empty calories...so I am going to run to subway and get a small sandwhich ...not a large ..and that will be it ...maybe at four I will have a salad, with some of the red wine vinegrette, with olive oil ...nice salad dressing let me tell you ..everyone should try it ..

ttylater Margaret ..
I am so lost .. I don't know what to do to be happy?
Any suggestions?

love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

You sound like your in such a happy positve place and very determind so lets stay there If it works dont change it thats my theory LOL and fitting into those old shirts must make you grin ear to ear i know thats all i did once i got into my jeans LOL

Well Mika is on my ipod for the gym and when ever one of the somgs come on i work extra hard thanks for introducing me to his music

Take Care
Sarah

Hey Sarah,
I wish I could stay in that happy place, but something always seems to ram me over and I am not in my happy place for a very long time, I think I need to work on my room, dance in my room ..and just feel an explosion of goodness .. I have been sleeping today ..but I bet some aerobic exersize, inbetween cleaning my room with surely do something for me ...
love yas
always
Natalie jo

 

[a-n-g-e-l]

Thanks a-n-g-e-l!
I know. I am getting pretty organized however. I just put up a new hanging rack for my clothes and it is awesome! My room is looking better than ever, but the bookcase is much too hard to do alone. I am going to see if my mom wants to help me put it together. It is so complicated. I can't believe how complicated it is. Usually these things are so easy. You have an Allen wrench and you just put the pieces together until you get a beautiful new piece of furniture! oh well...but I had to carry that thing up the stairs. Its the heaviest bookcase I have ever had. I mean this thing weighs a ton...

but oranization is my middle name now lmao

Natalie jo organization Beinhorn ttylater hun
love yas
always
Natalie jo

hi natalie jo organization beinhorn!

how you doin sweety? great job with the organization! hows the bookcase doing?!

keep up the good work!

;-)

x

 

[nataliejo]

hi natalie jo organization beinhorn!

how you doin sweety? great job with the organization! hows the bookcase doing?!

keep up the good work!

;-)

x

The Bookcase!
It will ..will be a work in progress with my mother's help... its a tuff one ...
It has so many parts, so many everything. I can't do it on my own. Its a shame, because I wanted to be superwoman and conquer the bookcase, I know ...wierd! lol but thats what I have felt like. If I can clean my room and make it sparkling new than I can do something with my weight or with out it actually. And now I am finding a little trouble a long the way, and I don't know quite how I am going to do this, or get over this hurdle, the weight, in my life. If only I would walk, walk, walk, or even aerobics, but I can't bring myself to do it. Its difficult when the little kids are out and they yell at you. I know. Childish for me to care BUT I do ..and its something I also need to work on, but I guess tonight I do the bookcase and since tomorrow is supposed to be in the fifties .. I walk


love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Peeps!

Hello all,
So today was a downer. Last night I binged. Today I didn't do to bad. My mom wants to eat hot dogs tonight for dinner... and I hate that! so I am getting an alternative, since nothing was taken out of the fridge. I am getting half of a subway sub. Of course, light dressing, and what not, whole wheat bread, etc. I will make sure to fill you in on what I kind of sub I have gotten, but I think I am going for just a turkey with honey mustard dressing and the usual that I used to get, lettuce, tomato, black olives, that it folks. Not much to it and melted provolone ... not bad ... only like three or two and a half slices of cheese, way better than the damn hot dogs!

I would buy chicken and make it, but she won't want to wait for dinner, sucks ass.
I am buying sweet potatos tonight, I hate using white potato. I am not even supposed to be eating it. Tonight I am having a salad on top of the sub .. I am making an awesome Salad for my mother and I and a little portion of kidney beans, which have absolutely not fat or sugar! always good. AND I am going to beat this midnight binge thing. I need to nip it in the bud. and THe only way to do that is to force myself to not go downstairs and eat ..wish me the best peeps... this is really downing me ...

and I was supposed to chill with my sister today ... go and eat at the food court ...was going to get a new delicious salad from the new bar in the mall and I was going to get a water ..was going to see Book Of Secrets in the theater ...totally bombed my day when she cancelled .. all I could say to her was "Thats fine..." over the phone ... I couldn't think of anything to say ...
my day was ruined, wrecked.. I was going to go walking with her after the movies ..

always the first time I trully do a walk I usually need someone with me and suddenly I feel self esteem come back and can go with no one, but me, myself, and I all days ..but it seems like I am alone on this one ..and don't know how to stop psyching myself with negative talk ..and start building myself up so I will go for a walk ...

well folks ..lets only wish for the best ..

love you all always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Must walk during day-- sex offenders in area!

Hey all,
I was given a link to the National Sex Offender Registry:



It said that I have a load of sex offenders on the street perpendicular to mine... and Union street isn't that long. There are also a ton of Sex offenders on Main St, on the other end of my street, perpendicular to my street, crazy stuff. And its the most populated spots with sex offenders. There are so many children in this area and on Union St.... this is so horrible. I feel bad for the neighborhood, for the parents, for the children, for the women... this is crazy mad!

Anyway I shall not be walking at night, I shall be walking during the day!
Tomorrow will be in the fifties ..and I am going out and walking on Main St....but I am going to stay on the really populated streets... don't need any problems ...

On one street I was walking, about a couple weeks ago, and this old van drove up beside me .. I made a mad dash up the street and they came out ...but it was scary ...
It will make me paranoid, but only if I walk at night ... I am just going to put my headphones in my ears and walk ...

love yas all
love natalie jo

 

[misty22]

Hey Nat,

That is some scary stuff. Please take care of yourself when you walk at night, I know that walking at night is probably the most convenient (because it is for me as well) but make sure you don't go walking too too late- I'm sorry, i don't mean to scare you, but you know that there are crazies on the street.

Can you possibly carry anything? Like pepper spray? Haha....now imagine you carrying a Bazooka on your nightly walk, wouldnt that scare the crap outta the weirdos...Anyways...morning/mid afternoons walks, thats a good idea, definitely try incorporating those and seeing how it goes.

Love,
Misty

 

[Happychubette]

Wow you were feeling so great, you will get back there again. I don't know if it helps but someone told me to see myself surrounded in white light and it helped.You are definitely winning the battle. Just keep doing the good stuff.

Congratulations on fitting in to smaller clothes. See, you are succeeding. Your mood might be flying all over the place, pay no attention to it. You are doing it, you are still on the forum, and you are helping a lot of people with your story an d your encouragement. don't let yourself get too hungry OR tired! Hope you get lots of walks in in beautiful weather. Kelly

 

[a-n-g-e-l]

i understand totally about the bookcase. i'm like that.i have to have everything perfect to start something and be organized inmy mind and life but the thing is you can never be fully organized because something else will come up and then you have to get organized around that!

the thing with walks is...i hate walking on my own especially at night. i won't do it and i have had people cancel on me and it just spoils the day but you have to remember it is only 1 day that has been cancelled and you can always do some excercise at home. even if it isn't as good as walking.

be careful when you are out and always ry to take someone with you.there are some really crazy people out in the world!

;-)

x

 

[nataliejo]

Hiya Misty!

Hey Nat,

That is some scary stuff. Please take care of yourself when you walk at night, I know that walking at night is probably the most convenient (because it is for me as well) but make sure you don't go walking too too late- I'm sorry, i don't mean to scare you, but you know that there are crazies on the street.

Can you possibly carry anything? Like pepper spray? Haha....now imagine you carrying a Bazooka on your nightly walk, wouldnt that scare the crap outta the weirdos...Anyways...morning/mid afternoons walks, thats a good idea, definitely try incorporating those and seeing how it goes.

Love,
Misty

Yea Misty .. I am not going out at night. ITs scary how close they are, they live up the block ... scary crap ... it even gives their home address. My mom and I were looking for one of their houses, so we know where to steer clear. I guess a few months ago, my mom and my step dad were walking up to the library at night and a cop stopped them and asked why they were walking at this time of night. It was like eleven ..to twelve pm at night, like usual. Well the cop told them that we lived in a VERY dangerous neighborhood and that we should not, especially my mother, walk outside at night. There were too many bad elements in the neighborhood... and thats off our street ... and Union is a small street, very small and five of them live on the street ..scary!
I am afraid for the children in the neighborhood and the women, but I guess the cop said even Herb would have a hard time in the neighborhood. So my step dad still goes out at night, but doesn't walk around, just to do the oil change and what not. But my mom won't go out at night, only to drive to Walmart and what not. I go with her, but I will walk during the day, because I have been known to just get up and walk at night. But I didn't today ...

but I fit in a size smaller than I did before ..this is crazy Misty ... I haven't been this thin for a couple years! wowser .. I feel ... sexy almost like ..lol

love yas girl
always
Natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Kelly!

Wow you were feeling so great, you will get back there again. I don't know if it helps but someone told me to see myself surrounded in white light and it helped.You are definitely winning the battle. Just keep doing the good stuff.

Congratulations on fitting in to smaller clothes. See, you are succeeding. Your mood might be flying all over the place, pay no attention to it. You are doing it, you are still on the forum, and you are helping a lot of people with your story an d your encouragement. don't let yourself get too hungry OR tired! Hope you get lots of walks in in beautiful weather. Kelly

I know Kelly! I have had happier times. Its been tuff lately seeing the silver lining of life, but I am getting along, doing my best. And not my so best. I haven't been walking much at all .. I feel so horrid about it, but I am still losing inches, probably from all the twisting and turning in bed. Today was horrible with my back out .. I was gaining strength in those areas. And I went to the bench and just laid back on it, stretching my back out... it helped my back considerably ...

but when I get to school .. I have to hike up these huge steps, up this steep stairwell .. I will probably be all out of breath ..but its about time ..and I will be doing it after classes too .. I plan to get a small work out tonight in school ... its all good ..

I feel so good about losing inches ...

love yas girl
happy to see you in my diary!

love ya Natalie jo always!