nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

[Omega]

Hi Natalie Jo

I do hope that you have managed to get out for another walk today. It was very cold here (the wind chill factor makes it feel a lot colder than it actually is).

I always feel so good when I get back from my long walk. Tired - but good. It is that feeling of knowing that you deserve to lose weight based on what you have done today. I just love that feeling. It is like an anticipation of weight loss. I dont care if it is a tenth of a pound - I just love seeing the weight come off.

I hope that you are feeling a bit better.

Have you been to Starbucks recently?

Take care
Love
Margaret

 

[nataliejo]

I love the sun too, and we are coming into summer here, so that should help with my walking. Today for some reason though, it's cold and raining. But I still went for my morning walk, and still have to get in another walk later today. I am just waiting for the weather to clear a bit, so will give it a few more hours, and if still not clear, wil just have to make myself go anyway.

I too suffer from depression, but getting outside helps me clear my head and helps me alot. I am sure it will help you too.

Best wishes,

Frankie

Hey Frankie!
Yea it does help clear some of the depression... I did notice that ...

I have to say its nice to hear someone else suffers from depression, I mean its bad that you do, but I don't feel so lonely, because I have been feeling lonely, like I don't have anyone to talk about that side of my life with, that someone wouldn't understand why I wouldn't or almost could'nt go for a walk one day... u know ... depression can be a drag ...but the best thing to do is get out there... and hopefully I won't forget that

Thanks for reminding me!

love yas
thanks for stopping in again!
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hi Natalie Jo

I do hope that you have managed to get out for another walk today. It was very cold here (the wind chill factor makes it feel a lot colder than it actually is).

I always feel so good when I get back from my long walk. Tired - but good. It is that feeling of knowing that you deserve to lose weight based on what you have done today. I just love that feeling. It is like an anticipation of weight loss. I dont care if it is a tenth of a pound - I just love seeing the weight come off.

I hope that you are feeling a bit better.

Have you been to Starbucks recently?

Take care
Love
Margaret

lmao....
Yes I have been to Starbucks today, twice. The man candy I loved looking at doesn't work there anymore, but there is more man candy there, so alas I move on to more man candy!

Well today was a good day. Today I started my take home midterm and Actually was able to make heads and tails of what the answers were to the questions between my macro book and my defunct notes. My note taking leaves a lot left to be desired, but I was able to come up with a good answer between the book and notes. Good stuff! less stress = less eating!!!
Big one for me!!

My mother opened a bag of peppy farm mint chocolate milanos and said ..." try some!" so I did, but laughed my butt off... "gee, thanks for the help mom!"
I did not eat all twelve cookies... like usual .. I usually wolf down the bags.. and these cookies were definitely wolfable ... I ate four cookies and than I realized I better close the bag and I did .. I passed it off to Theresa and mom and they pretty much finished it while I went to the other side of the store away from my candy lol ..and they put the rest as samples ..and luckily the samples were by the door and not behind the counter today ..so no extra munching ...
and than someone had opened a four piece Godiva box ..so I had those ...
but that was all I had ...other than my home made cheese and egg and thin and trim ham sandwich, between two slices of Rye .. not bad ... I was around a hell of a lot of temptation ... ugh ... but I did it!

And I did not get a walk in ... I was too busy chatting and living it up with Olga and mom and Theresa.... but tomorrow ... hahahaha will be a walking day!

love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

I feel good!! Tomorrow...!

Well today has gone well, and as for tomorrow

1) will be a half hour walk ... three times from one end of kittery plazas to the plazas down on the left and right at the end of the strip ... goody me me!

Tomorrow is walking for a half hour
2) Finishing the whole midterm
3) and keeping temptation at bay while bagging for Whoever is running register and listening to lots of Christmas music ...


And I have talked with people that are from the area, so I may have some friends coming around soon ...
I feel good!

well ttylater
love yas
natalie jo

 

[ABBAgirl]

NJ
Glad to hear you sounding so positive! It would be a treat to meet up with some of our forum folks in person (if I understand what you meant). I think the only other on board are from the East Coast, and I am a West Coast Gal.

Good on ya for keeping up with the walking, sister. It makes such a difference phys. & emotionally for me.

Come and check out my updated pic on my journal! C U soon...

Janice

 

[rah]

Hi NJ

Sounds like your doing well, and still on with all that walking, I wonder how far you would of walked when you reach your final target...round the world 2ce is my bet LOL

Good on you with the cookies i always think depriving doesnt work as i will totally binge on the whole lot later so a few now is better than that!!!

Hope your having a good weekend
Sarah

 

[nataliejo]

NJ
Glad to hear you sounding so positive! It would be a treat to meet up with some of our forum folks in person (if I understand what you meant). I think the only other on board are from the East Coast, and I am a West Coast Gal.

Good on ya for keeping up with the walking, sister. It makes such a difference phys. & emotionally for me.

Come and check out my updated pic on my journal! C U soon...

Janice

That would be neat. All of us meeting. We could do like a walkathon and just do it for fun. And than after meet up where we started from, we would do a loop trail, and eat oranges, fruit, cheese and whole wheat crackers, etc. Sandwiches... we could each bring something healthy to eat lol it would be neat. But we are all from different parts of the states, countrys, etc. So that would be a hard thing to accomplish lol There are so many off us! lol which is good!

Thanks for your support hun. I am finally starting to go down in weight. I am happy.

I am coming to check your pic on your profile
tis good!
ttylater
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hi NJ

Sounds like your doing well, and still on with all that walking, I wonder how far you would of walked when you reach your final target...round the world 2ce is my bet LOL

Good on you with the cookies i always think depriving doesnt work as i will totally binge on the whole lot later so a few now is better than that!!!

Hope your having a good weekend
Sarah

I haven't been walking much actually, but tomorrow I am going! It shall be a beautiful today. Today was rain/snow all day. Mostly rain..and I don't have rain gear, or an umbrella at present. So I need to get the umbrellas from mom's car and use them and go out even on rainy days, probably when it is sprinkling...
but I don't know how far I will have walked at 155 pounds, but I am sure it will have been very far. The world one hundred times over ..or more ...lmao

well ttylater
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Yesterday and Today: catch up!

Well Hello peeps!
I know I haven't been writing in your journals, but I am going to start, one journal at a time. I have a lot of work in school. Its good work. I am doing really good now, now that I am not with my ex. I called him tonight and we chatted, but it felt good just thinking of him as a friend. He yelled at me wanting to know why I didn't call all weekend, well the reason being I am building a solid foundation for myself ...
this break up has been hard, but actually it is getting easier. I realize he did terrible things to me, playing mind games and what not. The emotional abuse was horrible, but I think we can stay distant friends. I

I did make a new friend from Somersworth, where I live. They just remarried and moved all the way from California to NH in a blast and now wants to make friends here. and I am more than happy to be her friend and she has the same mental illness as me ...bipolar ... so it feels good to have a comrade who I can do things with ... goody!

But anyway I did well yesterday on my eating, but my sugar dropped at night and I ended up eating fifteen sugar cookies last night. So that was bad, but today has been awesome! I haven't touched anything fattening, my sugar level is at the right mark, been testing it. They say if you have changed your diet or activity level to start paying attention and testing your blood sugar, because one may end up not needing the diabetic medication they are on...
Once I train myself to walk at least thirty-five minutes to an hour a day or vitually everyday and keep up my eating habits that I developed today I shall come off the metformin, probably when I reach 200 or less. It will be a long journey and I feel like I am started over, even though I have lost twenty pounds during the summer and spring. BUT I am now where I was last summer and have been for years before that ...
I was 260 almost four years ago. Thirty three pounds less than I am now. Its going to be a long road. I want to be 270-275 by June 08' ...which will be next June. Bathing suit season will be a good season. I will buy a new bathing suit...and happily fit into it well ...

twenty pounds can do a lot to a person. I will have lost around forty pounds total by that time and will feel good ..and I am going to lose this weight ...destination forth coming ... this weight is coming off ...
I almost opened a second package of sugar cookies .. I slightly opened them and a thought suddenly came across my mind .."What am I doing?"
So I jumped onto the scale in the middle of the night and found myself to be 292 pounds ...three pounds lighter than a week ago.
So I looked at myself, into my very soul. Staring at the cookies and I put them back into the bag and headed straight upstairs and went back to bed. There was no way and is no way I am going to compromise this weight loss and the point of healthy I so want to reach. I want to be in tip top condition some day and that some day will be closer every time I turn down Godiva or cookies ..every time I choose the healthier food ...

and that was my epiphany ..
I slept with my grandmother this morning, partially awake, but not. She has been dead for almost a year and a half, but in the back of my mind, with lightly open eyes I whispered; "I wish grandmother was sleeping with me."
and in a high voice full of cheer I heard her in my resting state "My darling that is so sweet! Certainly I will join you!" and As I lye there I felt her body near mind and looked over to my left and saw her arm above my arm. And than I said "I will my father was sleeping on the other side" because I realised she was there. And he lay beside me as well. And than I said "oh my word. I have to get up. And I stunned both of them by throwing myself out of bed. But in my mind I told them "I'm sorry! I must go" And so I went down stairs and started my day. It was the most wonderful feeling having my family near me in the waking hours. I know she was near. And it was a sweet surprise to find my grandmother next to me in bed. She was a wonderful person to spend time with and I have been thinking about her forever and I will always remember her sweet manner ...

always
love yas
natalie jo

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving! I will be here more freaquently from now on ...
love you all
each and every one of you!
natalie jo

 

[misty22]

NatalieJo,

It is so good to hear from you.

Breakups are always hard- but we learn from them. We learn about what we want and what we dont want from the next relationship. You'll have your ups and downs, but now you get time to focus on YOU- and that is what is important!

Grandmothers are the best! I miss mine as I haven't had the chance to meet her for 7 -8 years now.

Anyways, I'm super glad you are back on track Nat!! Time to tell yourself you can do this. And you can! This time, be more determined that ever! xoxox

 

[sunnydee]

NatJo! I was wondering where you were for so long because I stupidly didn't realize you had a new diary! Sorry about that, hun. I'm glad to hear that you have been pushing on and trying your very best to stay focused. Congrats on having the strength to put away those cookies. A wise person on this forum once said to me: When you're tempted, always think "What do I deserve more? A tasty treat or to reach my goal and feel fantastic?"
And of course, you deserve you reach your goal and feel AMAZING!

 

[Omega]

I agree with Sunnydee.

You will enjoy the weight loss much more than any cookie.

 

[rah]

A wise person on this forum once said to me: When you're tempted, always think "What do I deserve more? A tasty treat or to reach my goal and feel fantastic?"
And of course, you deserve you reach your goal and feel AMAZING!

Great advice I think i will be remembering that one!!

 

[frankie1]

Hey Natalie jo,

Just popped into say hi. It has been pouring here - I already got soaked this morning. It sure makes walking hard.
But hopefully it will fine up this afternoon as I plan to take the dogs out for a long walk - they have cabin fever!!!

Hope all is well,

Frankie

 

[nataliejo]

NatJo! I was wondering where you were for so long because I stupidly didn't realize you had a new diary! Sorry about that, hun. I'm glad to hear that you have been pushing on and trying your very best to stay focused. Congrats on having the strength to put away those cookies. A wise person on this forum once said to me: When you're tempted, always think "What do I deserve more? A tasty treat or to reach my goal and feel fantastic?"
And of course, you deserve you reach your goal and feel AMAZING!

Thanks SunnyDee
for popping in .. I have missed your greatly .. I have been so wrapped up and getting down on myself! Its been horrible...

My doctor was happy although I have lost twelve pounds since I last saw him and its been ninteen pounds lost since Christmas of last year. I just have to keep it going down, but it can be so hard.

well ttylater hun
hope to hear from you again
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[maleficent]

I just have to keep it going down, but it can be so hard.

Keep with consistent behavior and it's not hard... if you think it will be hard then it will - don't psych yourself out before you even get started...

 

[nataliejo]

Hiya Margaret!

I agree with Sunnydee.

You will enjoy the weight loss much more than any cookie.

Margaret..
I agree with you ,but I did eat sugar cookies last night. I should have thought of this before I ate them, next time I will think before eating ..
thanks for your echoing cheer in agreeing with Sunny

love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Natalie jo,

Just popped into say hi. It has been pouring here - I already got soaked this morning. It sure makes walking hard.
But hopefully it will fine up this afternoon as I plan to take the dogs out for a long walk - they have cabin fever!!!

Hope all is well,

Frankie

I wish I had your stamina to go out and walk in the rain .. I prefer walking in the snow ..luckily Monday it will be snowing and I will be getting out there, enjoying the Winter Wonderland... we put up our tree and I am feeling better ..

thanks hun
love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

So hello everyone! Thanks for stopping in my diary.. I really appreciate the time you take to write in someones diary...who doesn't write back.. I don't know ..been down and out... not feeling too hot mentally ..just been sad... not depressed, just not feeling the motivation, even though getting out there and walking would make me lose so much weight .. I lost nineteen pounds that way ... I just need to get off my duff and put some warm clothes on and hit the cement, I just .. I don't know what is stopping me ..

if you gals have any ideas on how I can overcome this lack of motivation ..any quotes... personal or someone elses ..that would be wonderful ..because I always get inspired by great quotes, especially the ones you all have on your siggys...

anyway I went to the Gyn and they almost injected me with motivation ...the nurse was shocked...
she was like in an over excited manner "DID that say 294 pounds?!"
And I was smiling from ear to ear "YES!" I have lost twelve pounds since last seeing them last spring .. I was 308 and as you know for someone with pcos ...it can be hard to lose the weight...

So I have been kind of cheered on by their enthusiasm ..but I need to be injected by more enthusiasm lmao .. I know ..its stupid ...

but ..its me ...
I suffer from bipolar and depression is the key in that ..it sucks ..but so true ...
I have a hard time dealing with things sometimes ..
but I am thinking I have met a new walking buddy around my city.

There is this girl who is seperated from her husband for physical and mental abuse .. the same kind of mental abuse I had to put up with Alex ..

She is overweight at 5'4 and 202 to 220 pounds ...
I was thinking she and I could hook up as walking buddies ..do you think I should suggest it or ask very nicely?
It might just be the way to go ... walking buddies are awesome!

I have gained weight ..thats why only twelve pound loss since they last saw me instead of more of a loss! That was the downer.. I knew I had been down farther ... so

this girl and I ..Helene are going to Starbucks .. I am only ordering unsweetened ..passion tazo tea and putting sweet n low packets in ...two of them ..the teas ... and We are going Christmas shopping at the same time ..because Target down the road has a Starbucks inside of it ...
they are building up our city to be like Boston and the drivers are crazy around here ... like accident crazy ..we have seen so many accidents in the past few months ...

well ttylater guys
I shall write soon and keep up with your diaries ..
love you all
natalie jo ..always

 

[maleficent]

f you gals have any ideas on how I can overcome this lack of motivation

motivation comes from within you - Come up with a list of reasons why you want to lose weight? and write it down -the real honest reasons... and read them every single day