My diary

Oh its been a rought two days, trying to get the hang of eating more and i am doing it.. I feel like a fat cow after i am done thou..

I didn't head to the coast because my grandfather was heading out of town by shuttle (wish he would have allowed me to take him) back here to portland friday to have a battery of tests done at the Vets. Hospital, here in portland is the closest one to him and he is 3 hours away.. So we decided hopefully this next week i would come up, i think it would do my husband and i some good to get away from each other after the fighting we have been doing, he brings too much work stress home for me to deal with after dealing with the kids and cleaning my ass off all day.

I however did get in a 10 minute walk today even if it was forced because dear ole hubby ran off with my car this morning and he didn't tell me he was damn near outta gas, so i ran outta gas in his because i was in a hurry and ran off to get my middle child to school, oh boy was a pissed when i got two blocks away from my house and realized i was in PJs no debit card and no drivers license and no gas.. Then the car was making some horrible noise and i took a peek see at the dip stick and there was no oil in his car, he is a mechanic ffs.. So i had to fill the bad boy up with oil and then one of the spark plugs came out of the engine and was sitting on the top of the GD thing so i had to go wrist deep in the hot engine to put it back in burnt the shit outta my arm and broke out in some funky ass hives..

I have had a gnarly day today, went to walmart to get my kids sandles, my oldest needed some stuff for her outdoor school that i could get there just dirt cheap, BUT NO we had to argue about 6 inch heeled sandles and why those aren't appropriate for sandles u use in the grimey ass showers at outdoor school..

Then tonight I asked the asshole hubby to take the litter box out and the guinea pig cage out and he flipped out on me.. I really want some ice cream..

Oh i broke my diet last night at pool i had a beer then a blue hawaiian.. I should be ashamed of myself.. :(
 
You didn't 'break' anything, you had a couple of drinks ffs. No shame SP - breath.

Too bad it took running out of gas to get you to walk. You need to get busy with it girl. Exercise = weight loss to ya know - and you actually get to eat more as well ;) or should.

ok, enough of the prick me, I'm proud you're trying hard and coming back here. This diary will help in the long run, keep trudging on girlie. Six months from now when you look back your 'cow' pictures, you'll smile and say 'wow' and so will we :)

Stay strong :cool:
 
Trucker said it right, just stick in there and in a 6 months you will be happy you did. I'm sorry your having so much stress in your life right now, it makes it so difficult to do anything, you just feel like hiding away until everything goes away, use that frustration and go walk around your block a few times, that's all you need to do. Don't ever think you have to start off jogging 3 miles or sprinting in some 7 yard dash, just take it slow and small. Maybe walk around the block once, then the next day go two blocks, then three and so on. It will help trust me, plus it will get you out of the house for YOU TIME!! Hey take the kids with you, they might love that also!! I'm here to listen if you need to vent. Take care! I hope your day gets better!
Kim
 
Randy and Kim have it right--so sorry you had a really rough day! I don't blame you for wanting ice cream. I had some last night myself! Don't feel ashamed for a couple drinks--they won't matter in the long run, if you think about it, 3500 calories = 1 lb. What are 2 drinks? 2 drinks = a long walk. No prob! Keep your chin up and tomorrow will be a better day!
 
I sooo relate to the simple shopping trip turned argument! Do you do stubbornly relaxed? :D I try but I don't always manage! :D

I hope your hand is ok. That hot oil business sounded pretty dodgy to me.

Clearly you are a very strong person and able to put in the effort and patience you need to keep going despite a heap of hassles. It's worth knowing that this will be rewarded by an increasing ability to cope with those hassles with less stress in the future. The exercise will so speed up that process too. Good on you for working on your weight issues despite all the stresses. :)
 
If I have to walk to Portland and drag you around the block, I'll do it :cool:

So wtf ?!?! you gonna be a Mon-Fri diary person ??

Here's a thought, you remember your first poker stars av ?? I never forgot that pic. talk about cute...
 
My last post was Friday.. LONG WEEKEND, saturday I was doing things with the kids and just paying attention to their needs.. Sunday was 10 hours of pool we started at 9am and finished at 7pm our team won.. Hey Mr. Randy I did walk Sat and Sun and i played two hours of hardcore pool, Sunday I went on a 10 minute walk with a pool mate between matches to go get subway.. LOL i only had a 6 inch with no oils or dressings on wheat, it was that or bar food and that bar wasn't exactly a safe haven.. It was a ROUGHHHHHHH weekend including monday... Monday I had three horrible things happen to me.. I'll get to my diet for the past few days at the end of this, I need to blog the hell i went threw yesterday..

Hmmm, where to begin, seriously it was that bad-- Monday morning, mine and my husband's best friends call (the wife) and she is just crying and sobbing and having a really hard time talking and my mind races to her three boys, it wasn't that, husband asked for a divorce and has been cheating for months, these two are our youngest twos godparents, we have been friends for 14 years. My heart sank and I haven't stopped crying, I just don't understand how this could have happened.. So I was pretty much on the phone all day with her off and on..

(remember shit runs in 3s) 2nd event-- Ran in to an old friend while i was getting a chef salad for lunch and getting some muffins for snacks. I asked her how her ole man was doing and he is in prison for 25 years for aggrivated murder *shakes head* his house was shot up in a drive by and he had a tiny baby at the time and so he went after them and killed them a few days later.. She was my best friend in middle school and begin of high school.. We use to joke, her son and my daughter were suppose to get married when they became adults.. I was heart broken for her son thats gotta be rough on a child that all he has is bars between him and his dad for the last 11 years..

3rd Event and probably the one that caused a nervous break down-- My baby Hemi (orange 6 toed feline) had this mass growing on his neck yesterday and my husband took him in to the vet and they left at 5:30pm and he wasn't home at 7pm and i thought omg he isn't coming home with my baby and that was just it, I laid on the couch in a ball just crying, 7:30pm he pulls in and i didnt expect to see my hem, well he was alright running a 106 fever with a shaved neck.. He got in to a fight the nail hooked in his skin and it caused inflammation in a large amount of tissue in his neck so he is on antibiotics and hot packs..

As for my eating habits they haven't changed much..

Saturday-- I ate my normal food kinda breakfast sucked thou, Poptart (the poptart made me SICK) sausage and wheat waffle, salad for lunch and chilli dogs on wheat buns with onions and cheese for dinner...

Sunday sucked balls kinda, Breakfast- Three breakfast taquitos, lunch was a cheese burger no fries, dinner was subway 6 inch sub without out any dressings oils and little amount of mayo and dijon mustard (about 4pm).. I snacked on some dinner my husband made at 7pm but I didn't feel good enough to eat any large amount.. 2 pitchers of ice water threw out the day

Monday- I had nothing for breakfast I lost all my appetite and I didn't want to cram food down my throat and be sick from it.. Lunch was a chef salad and then a snack of a poppy seed muffin, Dinner was beans and rice and a chicken burrito.. Took me about an hour to eat my dinner because i picked at it, amazingly it stayed down after all the stress yesterday but geezz my stomach hurt everytime i ate yesterday..

I am tired, I haven't been able to sleep for two days now.. There was something scratching at my patio door last night and it wasn't any of my animals and then someone was trying to open my patio door.. I am burned OUT, I still have alot to do this weekend RANDY so I wont be able to post sunday.. I have to go pick up the trophies for the team and pick up the packet for this next tuesday so I can help run the team.. Saturday I'll be packing my daughters crap up for outdoor school so I don't know when ill have time to get on.. Ill be going for an evening scroll, so i can clear my head and talk to myself (sad).. I want someone to walk with I really don't like going alone in my hood, someone was stabbed on my corner a week ago outside the highschool, rival gang bullshit..

I had a muffin for breakfast today and ill get a salad her in a few minutes but i just dont feel like eating at this moment.. Im afraid to eat any meat at this time, two of my friends got food poisoning from some beef they bought at our local grocery store and it caused one of them to have a stroke.. Ohh home made chilli sounds good thou... I need time to sit and ponder dinner.. Cabbage soup and grilled cheese sandwiches..

Happy eating all, have a good day..
 
well done for resisting those oily dressing filled subways and going for a healthy option .. seems like such a little thing but its a huge achievemnt :)
very sorry to hear about your bad day .. i hope you are feeling more on the brighter side of life today
 
Sophie335 said:
well done for resisting those oily dressing filled subways and going for a healthy option .. seems like such a little thing but its a huge achievemnt :)
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tyvm.. I love fast food, today i took my kids to mcdonalds for breakfast and the smells about caused me to kill over..
 
Hey Mrs Sexy! I'm sorry you had such a bad few days, that sucks big time! I wish I could help, but all I can do is tell you how great you are and how strong you are for still standing after all that stuff has happened. Your quite amazing, I hope you know that. And I don't care what you ate, I can't believe you drank two pitchers of water, OH MY GOSH! That's a lot of augwa! Big pat on the back for that my friend. You should have been peeing every 10 minutes with all that fluid. LOL That should really help flush out some of those toxins and rejuvenate your system a bit. I will say several of your food choices were pretty darn good. Keep up the good work and don't give up, even the smallest of trees can stand up to a tornado, if it's held down by good roots, and I know you are!! Keep it up! :)
Kim
 
SexyPiscesBabe said:
tyvm.. I love fast food, today i took my kids to mcdonalds for breakfast and the smells about caused me to kill over..
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so what did you order ?? Mickey D sausage biscuits were my weakest link. I can't believe I haven't had one in 14 months...

keep pressin' on sister, you're doing nicely :) especially if people notice ;)
 
I am sorry about the rough weekend...It seems to me that as soon I start getting on track the bombs go off.I am glad you made it through yours and I sure hope your feline friend is feeling better. And your other two friends as well. Have a great rest of the week, and I hope next weekend will make up for the last:)
 
T2 Trucker said:
so what did you order ?? Mickey D sausage biscuits were my weakest link. I can't believe I haven't had one in 14 months...

keep pressin' on sister, you're doing nicely :) especially if people notice ;)
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Omygoodness I didn't eat anything from there.. When I wrote- kill over, I meant the smell about killed me it was that bad.. Sausage biscuits add the cheese and it ROCKS, buahaha thats my only downfall from there.. For anyone that craves mcdonalds, eat a regular cheeseburger and then smell ur hands afterwards and it smells like wet dog.. Yeah the only cheats i have had that are fastfood are the all beef burritos with onions.. Oh those are to die for, so i bought some tacobell seasoning and whole grain tortillas and make my own..

My husband is home today so I am going to go for a walk with him today after we take my youngest to school..
 
sleeplessinsc said:
I am sorry about the rough weekend...It seems to me that as soon I start getting on track the bombs go off.I am glad you made it through yours and I sure hope your feline friend is feeling better. And your other two friends as well. Have a great rest of the week, and I hope next weekend will make up for the last:)
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Ty and yes my little orange son is doing alot better the fever broke and i have been hot packing his neck.. I have to deal with my friends this weekend and I have a feeling this is going to be a nightmare, saturday my husband is going to do a tune up on her car and sunday i have to pick up our pool packet before my pool captain does because we gave him the boot off the team.. Thank gawd it was majority rules and if we all want someone off the team we get to boot them.. OH PHONE AGAIN let the fun begin..
 
Your bad news was in a class of its own! I'm glad to know the dread number three is passed and wishing you some happier moments. It's great to hear you have a walk planned and that your husband is going with you. Just what you needed. :)
 
felici said:
Your bad news was in a class of its own! I'm glad to know the dread number three is passed and wishing you some happier moments. It's great to hear you have a walk planned and that your husband is going with you. Just what you needed. :)
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My three's usually come in 5s or 7s and over a few week span.. Started out with my grandfather having a heart attack, my cat, my friends and oh yesterday i had a bill dude at my house saying u haven't paid it and i was like wtf are u talking about I paid it and you know what i paid it two weeks ago, come to find out i paid it on the 30th not the 14th and I was like WITF is wrong with me and then i said holy shit i havent gotten an isurance bill in a month, oh dont tell me i havent paid it and then i looked it up and i paid 3 months worth at one time and that was the bill i thought i had paid that this dude was coming out to collect for.. I am just holding on to my seat of my pants waiting for the next disaster but i am not going to waver off my diet, I will NOT allow things to get in my way of me losing weight..

I am going to take my docs suggestion and get off of depo because it hampers weight loss.. Ill just find another birthcontrol till i am at a comfortable weight..
 
SexyPiscesBabe said:
Ty and yes my little orange son is doing alot better the fever broke and i have been hot packing his neck.. I have to deal with my friends this weekend and I have a feeling this is going to be a nightmare, saturday my husband is going to do a tune up on her car and sunday i have to pick up our pool packet before my pool captain does because we gave him the boot off the team.. Thank gawd it was majority rules and if we all want someone off the team we get to boot them.. OH PHONE AGAIN let the fun begin..
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Oh I love to play pool! I havent played in such a long time...Glad the kitty is feeling better. Dealing with friends is stressfull for me...But Im a recluse:p
Kick some ass playing pool! Man I wanna go play now! Kicking someone off! Ha ha...poor guy! I am guessing he deserved it though with a majority vote.
 
Thanks for the Rep sexy!! I keep forgetting those are there. I need to wake up and start sending some to others as well. YES!! on going for that walk with the hubby, I hope you both enjoy eachother while your out! ;)
Kim
 
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