My diary

SexyPiscesBabe

New member
Hello, my name is Autumn, I am 28 Married Mom with 3 kids..

Where to begin.. At 12, I weighed 160 pounds and I was barely 5 foot and I see that in my oldest daughter now..

Beginning...

(1995) I was 115 pounds prior to having my oldest child but I was on drugs, in 9 months I gained 85 pounds (quit all drugs), I was 16 at that time.. Once I had my oldest daughter i realized that what I was doing prior to having her wasn't worth turning back to, to lose the weight.. So I became very comfortable in my skin at 200 pounds, for some reason I felt this way (probably depression)..

At 16, I was a single mother trying to finish high school and trying to live on my own.. My diet went to hell I gained more weight.. I turned to drinking to help comfort me threw being all alone.. I lost 40 pounds because I wasn't eating but only drinking, my doctor yanked me to the side and ran a battery of tests to see what was wrong with me, everything came back fine.. But I couldn't be a drunk single mom..

Here let me answer your question about where my parents were during this time, they were meth heads dealing with their own addictions and battles during this time of my life..

So I took my brother in, in 1998.. He was 13 during that time and I started to feel better about my life and started to focus on the drive to finish college and get my brother threw middle school, still was about 200lbs during that time..

(1999) I met my soon to be husband, he had been out of the military for a year.. He was also over weight with no self esteem.. I think thats why we got along so well..

(2000) I became pregnant with my middle child, at that time I weighed 202lbs and i lost 24 pounds during the first part of my pregnancy, the doctors weren't happy with this and asked me to gain just that back.. So I gained it back plus 24 pounds.. So i was 226 and I had her and lost 24 pounds after her birth..

(2001) I started a new job behind a desk.. I gained 42 pounds sitting behind that desk.. Between writing reports, I was snacking.. 244 Pounds

(2002) I got pregnant again the obgyn told me not to gain any weight, I became so sick with him that i lost 40 pounds in the first three months. After delivering him by c-section my doctor told me that my stomach flab would stink for the rest of my life and my stomach muscles are never going to be the same because my first pregnancy tore alot of my stomach muscles and then they just had to cut threw them..

(2006) Diagnosed pre-diabetic.. Stress causes my blood sugar to jump up to 200 and calm drama free days causes my sugar to be stable..

(2007) Finally looked in the mirror and seen that i dont like what i look like.. My sexual life has suffered and my I dont wear nice clothes.. I live in sweats and in the past year I joined a womans pool league and they made fun of me because I look like a "Goodwill Reject"

(April 2007) I was told the reason why I am having trouble with my back is because of my weight and the reason why I am having breathing problems is because of the weight..

Right now my 11 year old daughter is proud that she is 5 foot and 140 pounds and it just blows me away... I am trying to get her to eat right too but she is so young still I don't know what to do..

I have this thing, I felt sorry for myself for so long.. Abusive parents (DV), I was in an abusive relationship, teenparent, the closest thing to a father I had died in 97.. My biological father was killed by a drunk driver.. I attended 5 funerals of family members in a year and 2 every year after that.. I turned to food for the flavor and taste, I love the different tastes and aromas of food, I have a super sensitive palate.


Started a new journey and need some support threw it..!

5th day of my new diet

I started out 5 days ago on this diet..

8am - 9am Yogurt and Banana
Noon - 1pm Salad, Low fat itallian dressing
5pm - 6pm Cabbage soup, Potato and a piece of wheat bread
Diet Mountain Dew - Keep away the head aches

My body was so use to having at least a 2 liter of Pepsi a day my blood sugar has been dropping to 60-70 which is no good.. So I went to a 20 ounce of cherry cola that i slowly drink threw out the day and monitor my sugar very closely to make sure its not getting to low or to high...

I love cabbage but I am looking foward to changing it up, right now I am hoping to shrink my stomach, that way after one yogurt I don't feel like I am starving.. My husband also joined me on this new journey..

As for excersize that will come pretty soon.. I have the three kids in school at all different hours of the day, I am just trying to find my way with the new way of cooking for my husband and I and then the kids.. When I can get rolling in a good daily routine, I am looking foward to Jogs with him.. We shoot pool 3 times a week for our local league.. My oldest has evening events 2 times a week.. So saturday is looking like my only day to be able to get out for a run right now till my pool season goes on break for a few weeks..
I feel exhausted just typing this :p

Thank You all for listening, advice is gladly accepted about different low fat, low carb meals..
 
Hi Autumn :)

I'm glad you made the trip here. You certainly are on the way to dealing with all your issues head-on. You'll find the support here to be sincere and comforting, so many here can relate to your story.

My early advice to you is making the changes at the grocery store is pretty critical. I hope your family will be understanding with the things you'll no longer be bringing home. I know this will be one of your bigger obstacles and you may have to 'go it alone'. Show yourself and your family that you're willing to stay strong and no surrender to temptation or failure and with due diligence and patience, you can lose any amount of weight you desire.

I hope you experiment with your food choices and keep it fresh. There are tons of great ideas in here to work off of. Move about and really explore all WLF has to offer :)

Best of luck to you ;)

We may doze but we never close. There is always someone in here to help you out :)

I'm proud of you girl :)
 
TYTY T2, It's a struggle. The cravings for chips is almost unbearable but the kids are going to understand.. The problem is feeding them right because they can't eat what my husband and I am eating they need a higher calorie count.. So the making of the two seperate meals just tortures my taste buds, I haven't licked any bowls or tasted their foods because I know once I do, I wont stop.. I will stick to this thou.. 5 days and I can say you did inspire me to start.. Huggss hun..
 
or tasted their foods because I know once I do, I wont stop..

We have this is common (kinda). There are still many things I just can't go back to or it could be trouble. I don't fear these things, I just avoid them. If you want this change to come about, you'll find a way to be strong during this dual meal preparation quandry. I'll seriously admire you for mastering that.

As far as struggling goes, there will be some - we all do. Knowing a little bit about you, I know you're mentally strong and you definitely have the mental toughness to overcome this like you have so many other things in your life :)

I need to challenge you to start walking ASAP, even if it's only 5-10 minutes, but do get out there everyday this week. Don't be a hero with big miles, just acclimate yourself to walking daily. Chances are if you look forward to that daily walk, you'll also be cognizant of your food choices daily too. Lifestyle changing is all about daily awareness - not mention the addictive side of 'really wanting this' :cool:

I hope you catch on fire girl ;)
 
Hi, welcome to the website. :)

That is some story you have there! It takes a tremendously strong individual to keep their head up and push forward after everything you've been through. Congrats!

Where is the protein in your diet?
 
I just wanted to say hi and welcome. I hope you get as much from this forum as I have, which is a lot. :) It's amazing how quickly you can start to feel the benefits of making some changes.

I hope you are able to use Randy's thoughts. They really are spot on.

I was wondering the same thing as Steve. You will find your eating and sugar levels a lot easier to control with some protein at each meal.

I have been making separate meals for my children for quite a while. I totally get it about not even licking your fingers. I still remember the extra trouble I had one night after one corn chip when I had just started this thing! :)

I'm sure that as you persist with this you will automatically find yourself better able to support your children in improving their food choices too. Looking after yourself will be a great thing for them as well as you.
 
Hi Autumn,
I just wanted to welcome you to the WLF and to remind you to take these steps slowly - I know when I first started, if someone said I wouldn't do X, Y or Z forever, I would have told them to go to hell and gone back to doing what I was doing ;)

But doing what I was doing wasn't getting me to my goals.

Taking small steps, making small changes that I could live with inspired me to take other small steps, to make other small changes - success spurs success.

I would caution you not to drop your calories too low, if you haven't already done so, you might check out or both are sites for tracking calories, nutrition and fitness. It's really hard to know what you're bringing in if you aren't keeping track.

Remember - you CAN do this - you've handled a boat load already, and clearly are one strong woman. Just take it one pound, one day or one meal at a time.

I look forward to getting to know you,
 
Hi Autumn! Welcome to your diary! I'm a Pisces too :)

The fact you are priorizing your health at the age of 28, considering all you've been through, is a testament to the strong light in your life. As I read your introduction I thought ...with addicts for parents...your needs were not met. You pretty much raised yourself and took care of a few other people along the way. The fact you're straight from using and drinking, shows the strength of your character in the face of remarkable odds. You priorized your kids and now you're priorizing your health.

((((Autumn)))) I wish you every success in your journey to health. And it is a journey that takes time to fine tune. You are cutting out the 2 litre bottles of pop, and eating healthy (Steve is right, make sure you've got protein).

What a great first step, and like you say, it's just the beginning and you're going to add exercise. As you cut various things out of your diet, and as you gradually add new healthy foods, you will figure out what works best for you for exercise. Even if it's walking (a lot of us here walk), that is a great beginning and will melt the weight away.

I hope you'll read through some of the diaries on this forum because they have lots of good examples of wholesome eating. Something that helped me a LOT in terms of eating healthy, was where you pay something like $17/month to get a weekly diet, with recipes and grocery list included. The meals are reasonably easy to prepare and you can multiply recipe ingredients times the number of people in your family. I used eDiets mealplan, but there's all kinds of diets, even one for diabetics I think. The diets give you everything you need, all food groups, and it taught me to learn how to cook balanced meals. This trained me to get the idea of proper portions on my plate, as well as to cook with new healthy foods. Books on nutrition are great too.

I hope you are very proud of yourself for being where you are today, still so young and your whole life ahead of you, with great promise of being and looking your best. If I could infuse you with a shot of JOY I would sistah! Real glad to have you here.

Eating healthy is a journey and be patient with yourself as you learn to nurture your body. It is an act of self-love to go down this road and you really deserve all the love that's coming your way.
 
I want to thank everyone for the words of encouragement and helpfulness.. As for the protien, I have never been big on meats.. I can make some mean bean soups thou.. I am allergic to shellfish and fish in general, so I had to cut that out of my diet.. My family is big on chicken and ground beef, but it just doesn't settle with my stomach right..

Tonight I had pool and decided to eat a chicken sandwich (only after i got a lecture from all the girls on my team about protien), I had an onion bun and grilled chicken breast with a half cranberry juice and half water drink tonight..
 
Well, for your reference, when I set up a diet for someone, the first thing I do after setting a caloric intake goal is to figure out how much protein for intake. It is THAT important.

Supplementing your protein intake with a whey powder for shakes, or something of that nature may be needed.

What about eggs? Nuts and natural peanut butter are good too, but you need to be careful with these things. I include these more in the "fat" family than the protein family. Good fats, but still, cals add up quickly in high fat foods.
 
Hey SP, just swinging by to check on you.

Keep us informed of what you're thinking and feeling. I hope your day is going ok :)
 
Wow girl! You have told quite a story. It humbles me.

You are getting so much great advice from the best people here. Try to adopt what you can handle, one thing at a time, so it's less overwhelming.

My process is coming up on 2 yrs now, well 1 yr 9 months. Jul 2005 to the present. There were things I was NOT going to give up, but eventuallly I came around. I've lost just over 30 pounds, which is a little over a lb a month. Not as fast as I wanted, but slow and steady winis the race.

Giving up cokes - that was a big one for me. I love the stuff. Used to drink TONS of it. Slowly gave it up and for the most part prefer water or unsweetened ice tea now. Never would have dreamed that was possible. Still get high on leaded Coca Cola though!

Chips - oh the Tex Mex food here, I'd eat 3 baskets of chips. Bleh! Now I usually just can't start eating it, or set a limit of 10 ahead of time. Same with restaurant food, you know the drill, order healthy or at least cut the meal in two when it arrives and do not go over the divided line.

Walking - Walking is your friend! Get the husb to watch the kids and walk, no matter the weather. You can think, talk to yourself, solve the problems of the world, talk to God if that's what you like to do, or just look at all the neighnors' yards and decided how much nicer yours is, or will be if you start digging in your gardens (note that subtle way of getting you more physical exercise). I got to the point of walking every day, and it suited me perfectly.

Protein, calcium, vitamins, fiber, fruits and veggies. Look to Steve, sounds like he may have some good advice. That's where I'm headed next. Your kids are surprisingly resilient. Get them healthy popcorn, cereal to munch on, apples, carrots. I actually took chips and ice cream out of the house. Yikes!!!

Lift weights. You won't get big.

Good luck, I know you can do it.
 
hey and welcome to the site............ya have had a hell of a life there girl, but look at you ya got yer family together......and you are being a caring involved mom.... and setting goals and being a great example......you are trying to make changes and that is where you start.;) .........I used to drink pepsi by the gallon too. I have been pepsi free now for almost 9 months............and it feels good to be free......so it can be done!
making changes is hard and it takes a few trys usually....but yer not a failure if ya just keep on trying..........5 days is awsome..............just think where you'll be in 5 more and then 5 more and then a month before ya know it man!!! there are some really great people on this site.........I could not have got where i am in my health journey with out them.........112lbs later here i still am looking for support and finding it!!!
good luck to you and keep on posting!!!:D
later dude
STAR
 
Hi Autumn! Randy recommended I stop by for support. I also did drugs, drank, and I happened to lose my dad to "acute methamphetamine toxicity" in 2003 when he was 41--I really hate that drug. You've been through way more than I have and I'm happy for you that you're looking to re-shape your health and well-being. This is an awesome place to do it--I love the people on here and we all love to support one another! Looking forward to your success, --Valerie
 
Hi Autumn! Welcome and congrats for getting started! You have come a long way! Kudos!

Just a couple of tidbits...I am a former "Pepsi addict". I'd have one with lunch (at work), one in the afternoon at 3 pm for a pick-me up, one with dinner at home, and one more before I went to bed....gosh...those calories alone were enough to gain weight on. So once you give up the soda, you will shave a lot of calories off. :) :) a very good thing to do for yourself!

You mentioned you were worried about your daughter's weight...and struggling with two different menus. However, I would advise that you feed the whole family the same food (kids can eat more and more often, but offer only healthy foods and teach good and healthful eating habits). Trust me they will adjust. ;) (I am a mom of four--now all mostly grown up)

Walking is great exercise, and a perfect place to start for excercise. You can even take the family with you (or none of em!) in many cases....wonderful dialog can happen on walks...bonding time...mayb just you and your daughter...get her on the walking bandwagon. Have fun with it!

You are in good company here...lots of great people and support!
 
Hi and welcome to the forum! You have an amazing story, and alot of it I can relate to...I wish you the best and cant wait to see your progress here! I have found some of the best advice and encouragement ever right here and I know the same can be true for you...Good Luck!:)
 
I want to thank everyone for the warm welcomes..!

Life is hetic for me at this time because of pool playoffs, we shoot three times a week normally for normal pool league and when playoffs come about we are out practicing at least twice a week and playing 3 days a week. I apologize for not posting more this week, pretty soon life will calm down..

At one time I was raising 7 kids, 3 of mine and 4 others.. One of my kids was a 12 year old, whos mother was a meth head and a herion junkie.. I decided to take him in just to have his father fight for custody, then he sent him off with a drunk driver and he took him down in lower oregon and then his father had a drunk party with underage kids and set his son of with some drunk girl and she got in to a bad wreck and it threw my kid threw a rear window and almost threw the front windshield. This kid was sitting in the bed of a pickup truck and the driver hit a pole head on doing 45.. My kid was almost killed.. Randy was my biggest support threw this.. My other kids vary in age from 18-22.. My brother sister and brothers best-friend.. SO all together there was 7 at one time in my house
Johnny- 21
Cory- 22
Amber- 18
Trevor- 13
Winter- 11
August- 5
Guyden- 4
Lucky for me the oldest three got their own place(march) and my 13 year old moved in with his adult sister because she decided she could do a better job, so I am use to making these massive meals and now that most of them are gone I have to re-teach myself how to make smaller meals..
 
You can do that!! :D Less time in the kitchen is a GOOD THING!! It will give you more time to take care of yourself.

Are you starting to get some nice weather where you are yet? With a calmer pace you might really enjoy some walking. (Edit: I hadn't seen Randy's post when I wrote this. Honest. I have to take forum pressure myself. Now you're here it looks like you might get a little of that gentle pushing too. :) It's a good thing. :) )

Randy would be a good person to have on your side when things are hard I'm sure. Clearly you are too and I bet you will use that to make yourself a good person to have on your own side, and helping you get where you want to be now. :)
 
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