Right, here we go.
I'm starting this because i'm so ashamed of how horrible i am at managing my weight that i can't speak to any of my friends and family about it.
I'm only 3 pounds over weight but i'm still heavier now than I've ever been in my whole life. I want to weigh 145. That's my Goal. Currently I'd say I weigh 163. So 18 pounds is what I want OFF of me and it's all in my thighs. They're huge.. I don't even know how to get it off.. How can I work out just my thighs?
This weekend I broke down and actually bought a pair of size 13 jeans. It killed me to do it. Like I was accepting that this is my body now. I'm so used to my size 10 jeans. And worse yet, Even when I was in my size10 jeans I had a size8 pair as my goal jeans. I didn't know how good I had it. I wish I could just be satisfied. I wish I could just put the damn fork down.
I'm food focused. I'm always thinking about when I'm going to eat. Everything I do involves food in my mind: Birthday party = soda, cake & ice cream Hanging out with friends= coffee, cookies, drinks & meal Movie Theater= Popcorn, soda, and/or nachos Work= coffee, tea, vending machine & a meal ect.. I could really go on and on. I've tried Slim fast. water pills. fat burners. A.d.d. pills a gym membership and even throwing up but I stopped myself from letting that get out of hand. No matter what fad i'm trying, eventually i get that craving for something- anything. It usually ends in my eating a candy bar or an entire batch of brownies.. and then the entire diet just comes to a screeching halt until i get all determined to try another diet sometime later.
Today was a bad day. I had about 5 brownies.Steak & potatoes. Mcdonalds Fries and chicken selects. A giant sweet tea. 2 glasses of 2%, Apple juice and some spoon fulls of cool whip... so far. ..and a mini twix bar. It's been a pretty stressful week for me though so pretty much everyday has been about like that.
My weaknesses are chocolate, sweets and carbs. I also don't drink enough water.
I'm starting this because i'm so ashamed of how horrible i am at managing my weight that i can't speak to any of my friends and family about it.
I'm only 3 pounds over weight but i'm still heavier now than I've ever been in my whole life. I want to weigh 145. That's my Goal. Currently I'd say I weigh 163. So 18 pounds is what I want OFF of me and it's all in my thighs. They're huge.. I don't even know how to get it off.. How can I work out just my thighs?
This weekend I broke down and actually bought a pair of size 13 jeans. It killed me to do it. Like I was accepting that this is my body now. I'm so used to my size 10 jeans. And worse yet, Even when I was in my size10 jeans I had a size8 pair as my goal jeans. I didn't know how good I had it. I wish I could just be satisfied. I wish I could just put the damn fork down.
I'm food focused. I'm always thinking about when I'm going to eat. Everything I do involves food in my mind: Birthday party = soda, cake & ice cream Hanging out with friends= coffee, cookies, drinks & meal Movie Theater= Popcorn, soda, and/or nachos Work= coffee, tea, vending machine & a meal ect.. I could really go on and on. I've tried Slim fast. water pills. fat burners. A.d.d. pills a gym membership and even throwing up but I stopped myself from letting that get out of hand. No matter what fad i'm trying, eventually i get that craving for something- anything. It usually ends in my eating a candy bar or an entire batch of brownies.. and then the entire diet just comes to a screeching halt until i get all determined to try another diet sometime later.
Today was a bad day. I had about 5 brownies.Steak & potatoes. Mcdonalds Fries and chicken selects. A giant sweet tea. 2 glasses of 2%, Apple juice and some spoon fulls of cool whip... so far. ..and a mini twix bar. It's been a pretty stressful week for me though so pretty much everyday has been about like that.
My weaknesses are chocolate, sweets and carbs. I also don't drink enough water.