MoonGoddess's Path

aw Sorry to make you worry. & thanks for all the encouragement in here.

The back pain got worse & I ended up having to take some time off (which didn't work out really well... I swear I wish I had never given my phone number to anyone at work). My mom came down to take care of me. I ended up at the doctor who thought it might be a kidney stone or a back spasm. I refuse to pay for an ultrasound... why are test so expensive. Especially if they aren't going to fix anything... just tell you what it is. Either way I was hating life. Today I have felt better. Just really sore rather than painful.

Top it off we got some bad news about a family member so I have kinda been sad & not really wanting to deal with anything outside my bed.

Hopefully things have been going better for everyone else & you all have lost a ton of weight.

The Woman challenge starts this Sunday so I'm going to use that to get my butt moving more.... maybe not a lot or great workout time, but anything is an improvement at the moment.
 
Aaawww - Im sorry things have been crappy and your in pain :hug2: That really sucks...Your mom came down and took care of you hey - how did that go ??? Get better soon ka ??? You sure abt no ultra sound...I hope it all gets better and not worse...your in my thoughts as always:)
 
cinderelly said:
Aaawww - Im sorry things have been crappy and your in pain :hug2: That really sucks...Your mom came down and took care of you hey - how did that go ??? Get better soon ka ??? You sure abt no ultra sound...I hope it all gets better and not worse...your in my thoughts as always:)
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It went ok. I felt to bad to fight & she ended up doing just what I needed. Driving me to the doc & going to get groceries. Leaving me alone when I needed space & distracting me when the pain was really bad. Talked me into going to the doctor. Even ended up finishing dinner when I was unable to stand up any longer. She was trying really hard & I just needed someone there.

I think she knew that it wasn't a good time to talk about my weight. She even said that I looked like I had lost some. I couldn't tell if she meant it or just was trying to make me feel better.

We got some bad news about my sister's fiance half way through the week, which is usually around the time we would start fighting with each other, so we both were just in shock... still kinda am. Just numb.

I'm eating horribly. I have no interest in the stuff that is actually good for me. I'm just eating bread & fries & stuff. Made some cupcakes which are good. While my mom was here I got groceries & made a shepards pie with veggies & beef & real mashed potatoes. Now I have no interest in making an actual meal. I know I need to eat so I eat the carbs rather than just not eat. This is a bad habit I have & I know it is bad... but I still do it. The second day (before my mom came down) I didn't eat anything hardly at all. Ate a pear & a couple of cookies along with a ton of water & a glass of apple juice.

Why is it that when I'm really stressed or in pain, I have no interest in food, but when life is normal I am eating tons?

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Til then I'm going to have to be like Pollyanna & start playing the Glad Game.... it could always be worse. At least I woke up today. At least I did get some sleep. At least I ate today...even if it was fast food (chick-fil-a).
 
MoonGoddess said:
Why is it that when I'm really stressed or in pain, I have no interest in food, but when life is normal I am eating tons?
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Im the same way - Id prefer to not eat when I am stressed I dont wanna eat and in pain especially or I will jsut grab fast convient food...

I think when we feel well and are being helathy it makes us wanna eat more and eat continuingly because we are on that path - it is what we need but when we are down and out we need comfort food - I dunno - Im here for ya if you need anything...I cant physically help you but i can be here to listen and such - you can always feel free to pm me or email me if ya need to whatever...

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:
 
MoonGoddess said:
Why is it that when I'm really stressed or in pain, I have no interest in food, but when life is normal I am eating tons?

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Til then I'm going to have to be like Pollyanna & start playing the Glad Game.... it could always be worse. At least I woke up today. At least I did get some sleep. At least I ate today...even if it was fast food (chick-fil-a).
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Hey there! Thanks for stopping by my journal!! I appreciate it. I'm sorry to hear about your back pain. Do you have a diagnosis yet? Once I had really bad back pain and it turned out to be kidney infections. It was the worst pain of my life. I hope you feel better soon.

About your question on not eating when stressed or in pain... I read that it is the body's natural healing mechanism, to avoid intake of food during times of a healing crisis so that it can use energy to heal instead of taking on new loads of foods and managing the toxins that come in with it. The article used how animals also don't eat when sick or stressed as one of the examples.

I loved your part on Pollyanna and the Glad game. There is something to that. I hope your week takes a turn for the better. Hang in there!!!
 
The theory on not eating sounds about right.

So today has been ok. I'm getting used to watching my posture & making sure to take the Alleve right when its running out & the heating pad is my best friend. I'm about to drown on all the water I'm drinking.

I'm just taking it easy as I can.

Walking works out ok... I'm just slower than I would like to be. I figure right now its about quantity of steps rather than speed. & forget lifting any weights at the moment. Started the WOMAN challenge yesterday. Hopefully that will push me to get moving again.

I'm not counting calories at the moment, but am focusing on the steps & stress relief. Trying to do deep breathing (helps with the pain too!) & some guided mediation as much as I can. Also I'm starting to journal again.. in a hard backed book.....might try to add more stuff here too, but the raw emotional stuff is going to be private in the old fashioned journal. I know emotions & stress can be detrimental or beneficial to weight, so this I'm hoping will help.

I'm just ready for a normal boring life again. Too much has gone on all ready this year & I'm about sick of it.....but IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE.
 
Today is going ok. Alleve was not cutting it earlier but seems to be helping now & that means I can get some steps in. Have the closing shift at work so I have to be sneak about walking about. Just have to act like I am checking up on something or someone... when actually I'm doing a few laps around the place. Anything to add a few more steps to the day right? :)

I'm trying to focus back on health & not let this pain get to me to the point where its changing my focus.

Made the mistake of stepping on the scale earlier & bah.... granted it was with clothes & midday, where I used to weight first thing (well after a bathroom break) & naked. It was a shock. Seems all the comfort food is not helping with the weight loss, especially with the lack of movement. Its ok. Tomorrow maybe I will wake up feeling normal & be able to push myself again. Has to happen one day right? Til then I am going to just pretend like I feel good & do what I can. Even if its only laps around the store.
 
Shoot...I was hoping to come back and read that you were feeling all better. I hope whatever it is clears up soon. Don't fret too much on weight loss right now. You need to focus on getting better(not that you know what to get better from or how to do that exactly) Your are one tough lady to be walking or doing any kind of exercise, so I commend you for that. I really, really hope you are well soon and can jump right back into things.
 
Actually today has been better. Just sore, not really pain. I walked with a couple of friends to a meeting we had scheduled & to get there we had to cross a busy highway.. for some reason its easier to walk to the place than to drive in traffic.. anyway I over did it & ran laughing which aggravated whatever but other than that its been ok today.

Thanks for thinking I'm a tough lady... I certain haven't felt that way lately. Taking it easy is hard work. lol
 
So today I am doing better. Still a lil sore, but I have not taken anything for pain since late last night (I laid down on that side to see if I could since I was starting to feel better... bad idea, so I had to pop some Aleve again to get some sleep). Doesn't really sound like much I know, but its big deal to me! :)

I'm feeling really lazy after a stressful day babysitting morons at work today & listening to my boss bitch about whatever it is up her tush today... she needs a life BIG TIME. But now I am home & enjoying last night's episode of Medium listening to the light rain dance around on the leaves of the rose bush outside my window. Days like this just make me comfy & relaxed. Temperture is nice enough to open the windows, rain makes everything all shiny & calm & peaceful. Just makes me want to veg out. ... but alas I must walk... at least 5000 steps today & I'm only at 3053 so far, which means I need to start pacing the house, marching in place or hop on the treadmill... something.
 
Dang it. Over did it feeling good yesterday & today has SUCKED! What was I thinking?

Plus to make the day better I weighed myself... crap...course I gained a few. Back up to 185.2 again. Could be worse, but I wanted it to be better.

Guess everything is going up today. Stopped to get gas (I was on E!) & it was $3.03 a gallon... two hours later after the meeting I was at was over I drove by the same gas station on the way back to the office... it was already up to $3.13 a gallon!!! TEN CENTS IN TWO HOURS!!! WTF?
 
Sorry to hear that you over did it! I know how that feels...not too good. I can't believe that the gas price went up that fast! Kind of amazing, but not in a good way. Just take it easy tonight and don't worry too much about the weight gain...you'll go back down again in no time!
 
yeah I'm not beating myself up over it. If I were feeling like myself I would be really upset, but at the moment I'm just bummed. I'm ready to be pain free & then I will REALLY go full tilt boogie into lose it mode. Just stinks.

But tomorrow is another day & one of these days I will wake up & feel better than ever. I am soo ready for that day. For now the heating pad is feeling all nice & I figure I can take this time to check up on everyone on here & read up on stuff online.

Just got a email from my buddy overseas so that makes me feel good. Had pics with it. Ever just look at someone & think... man I wish I could tweeze those brows! lol I'm weird.
 
Hi there!
I read a couple of pages of your diary, it's been ages I've last been here. I hope today's the day you wake up feeling better! :) Pain is such a strain for your mind also, so I'm sending some painless days your way. :newangel:
Juliette
 
Over did it again feeling good yesterday... figured out that living alone doesn't really make it possible to taking it easy on your back.... Laundry has to be done, dog food has to be bought & taken into the house, etc. By the end of the day, my back was not happy with me. Ah well I'm glad it was just the second half of the day anyway.

Woke up & weighed myself to find I have lose 1.2 pounds & I will celebrate every lil ounce.

I think a lot has to do with the fact that I am drinking so much water I am about drowning in it! :) I drank a lot of water before, never been a challenge for me there, but since its recommended I am guzzling like a fish! Guess there is some pay off there. Plus the WOMAN challenge has been a great motivator to get me up & moving when I really don't feel like it.
 
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