Mizzie's Journey to Being Healthy

Ok, confession. Yesterday I fell off the wagon. Not horribly bad, honestly, but bad enough. I did fine for breakfast, morning snack and lunch, but after work things kind of went to heck. When I got home I was hungry and I had a headache. I ate a piece of string cheese, which isn't bad. But then when that I was gone, I just felt like eating. I wasn't hungry enough to justify it really, I could have waited until dinner, but I just wanted to eat. I'm not proud of this at all, but I went to the kitchen and got a spoonful of peanut butter and ate it. Straight up, just like that. It was about one serving.

But it even gets worse from there. We had tacos for dinner last night. My family isn't doing the weight loss thing also (they don't need it), but that is still normally fine because if it's something not so great, I'll just have a little then fill up the rest of the way with something healthy. Last night I just didn't care, I wanted the tacos. I ate two, and they aren't small tacos either. I could have stopped at one, but I didn't. I wasn't even hungry (I didn't get stuffed though) I just wanted it and had a headache and didn't care. Closest I can get to guessing on calories is that I came in at about 2000. I've been sticking right around 1500-1600. So it's not like I totally blew it and had 6000 calories in one day or anything, but it's still bad. It wasn't like they were healthy calories.

So, I've been trying to decide my "punishment" for this. Or, think of it as atonement, if that seems better. At first I thought "well, I used my free day early, I guess" but that got me so down because I was really looking forward to that day and I think if I have to give that up now, I'll quit. So, how about working to reduce the damage instead of taking away rewards? So instead, I have to do Tape 3 of my exercise program tomorrow. To put that into perspective, I'll be doing the hardest, most intense tape instead of the easiest one. I don't know exactly how many calories I burn with these, but I guarantee that 3 is much more than 1 or 2. I had planned on working it in later when I got a little stronger, but since I slacked, I must make up for it. Just to make it clear, it's not a progression of tapes. It's not like you do 1 until you are stronger, then you do 2, etc. They all focus on different exercises and different types of working out. You are supposed to mix them up, I've been avoiding 3 for a while because it's really, really tough. It's not called "Maximum Cardio Burn" for nothing! And this way I still get my reward when I lose 10 pounds, which is fair, I will have still lost the weight.

Been watching episodes of "Biggest Loser" online just to see what that's about. Wow, those people are an inspiration and make me feel like a wuss for giving in. If they can do it, so can I! Any and all butt kicking for being weak last night would be helpful! Don't worry, I'm not going to dwell on it. I've done it, I'll pay for it tomorrow, then I'll move on. I'm putting it down here because I've promised that everything goes in the blog and that I'm honest. But a little "shame on you, don't do that again" couldn't hurt.
 
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Weigh day again and it's 211.8! What the heck? When I weighed myself last Monday, I was at 211. I knew I was bad on Wednesday night, but not "gain nearly a full pound back" bad! Wait... no. I know I wasn't that bad. I ate an extra 500 calories that day, not an extra 3500! And I still should have been at a deficit to what it takes just to haul my fat butt around, just not as much of one. And that was one day!

Grr...

I'm so mad right now. I know I still lost 1 pound, but it was lower before. And with the calories I'm eating and the exercise I'm doing, I really should be losing more than one pound. I was hoping for 2, or even 1.5, but not 1. Hopefully this will just make me more determined to do this. No more slacking.

I did do Tape 3 this morning and it sucked, but not as horribly as I thought it would. My heart was pounding the whole hour and I sweat so much that I stink (seriously!) and I think my thighs and abs are going to run away in protest, but I did it. And at least the time seemed to go much faster than the other two. But then, maybe that's just because it was new-ish to me.

Anyway, going to go shower now. Yuck!
 
I didn't exercise this morning. But I do have a valid reason. I've been trying to get 8 hours of sleep a night and since I've started that, I've noticed that I need it. If I get less, I'm tired all day. Last night, because of various things that needed to get done, I didn't get to bed until 11pm. Well, I knew if I got up at 5 to exercise, I'd be tired and not give it my all. Not to mention being tired all day at work!

So, I've decided that this week, and this week only(!), I'm exercising on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I've promised myself that I'll kick Josh and Chloe out of the house for an hour on Saturday to exercise. I know tomorrow I'll be kicking myself because I wouldn't have had to wake up so early, but that's the way it is. I'm not going to let this make it easier for me to quit! That's happened in the past when I've blown my schedule and it's not going to happen this time.

So long as this doesn't make me quit, I think I made the right decision. I am tired today. *yawn*
 
Today was great! When I got up this morning, I was so excited to exercise. I even thought about doing Tape 3, just because I was inspired to go all out. But today is really a Tape 2 day, so I did to that one instead. But, I did make it harder. There is one girl you are supposed to follow if you are a beginner. Today, for the first time, I didn't follow her (except for a few things I find difficult even on "easy"). I followed the rest of the group and boy, I could tell! lol But it felt great, I really got a good sweat and my heart rate was up for a good long time. Every time it got hard, I just thought of all the people on the Biggest Loser and if they can do it, so can I. I keep telling myself, I can go longer then I think I can, I just need to make myself do it. It helps to picture Jillian yelling in my ear. lol! I'm really excited about this and I hope I can keep it up. It made my whole day!

And, on top of that! Today isn't a weigh-day, but I joined in on a challenge and they ask that you report your weight on Tuesday, so I weighed myself this morning. 210! Woot! That's down 1.8 pounds since Friday. And, that means I've lost 9.8 pounds AND I'm only 0.2 pounds away from 10! Really looking forward to my free day. ^_^ Cookie dough ice cream, here I come!

I've been slacking again on eating produce. I'm trying to have some fruit or veggies with every meal. So this morning I had half a peanut butter sandwich (one slice of bread, 1/2 serving of peanut butter) and a banana. Lunch was really yummy, too. I had a lettuce salad with broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, unsalted sunflower seeds, a little cheese and a boiled egg. Mmmm! I got some light Catalina dressing and it tastes really good too. All together, it was only about 360 calories (mostly from the egg and dressing) and full of vitamins. I think I'll have some apple sauce with dinner. Hmm, just noticed that I'm a little light on dairy today. I'll try to add some milk in there too.
 
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I did add in some applesauce with dinner last night (natural, no sugar added), then at the end of the night I was low on calories so I had a snack of low-fat wheat thins and lite laughing cow cheese. Yum! This morning I had oatmeal for breakfast, but I don't think I will again. It didn't taste very good at all. I'm not sure why. I did add a little brown sugar and some cinnamon, but it tasted very flat. I did make it with water instead of milk, so I suppose that's it. But I make it that way all the time for Chloe and she likes it. Oh well. I also had some more applesauce and the salad again for lunch.

I found out last night that my mom and grandma will be in town on Friday and want to meet me for lunch. I'm excited to see them (I wish I could take off work and go shopping with them!) and all, but I'm a little nervous too. I'm trying not to hope too hard that they'll notice that I've lost weight. I don't see it and Josh hasn't said anything about me looking different. Part of me hopes they will notice, so I'll feel like I am getting somewhere. I haven't said anything to them about it. I had been banking on not seeing them until Easter, when I'll have hopefully lost 20 pounds or so. Oh well, here's hoping, I guess.

I've been a little down lately because I don't feel like many people are really supporting me in this. I guess part of that is since I haven't told everyone (but some people think they are helping when they aren't!), but even the people who know don't really talk to me about it. Josh has been supportive, if I bring it up, but doesn't ask how exercising went or anything. And one of my friends had decided to lose weight at the same time I did, but she's fallen off the wagon. I don't bring it up, but she has a million and one excuses for not exercising or eating right. Oh well, her life. But again, she'll listen if I bring it up, but won't ask. I guess I feel like I'm pushing my stuff on them, but it's a really big thing I'm doing and I'd like to talk about it.

I'm all off this week. Today don't seem like a Wednesday because I exercise Wednesday mornings and I didn't this morning (see previous posts about that). I don't know what day it is, but it's not Wednesday. lol Next week is back to normal.
 
I admire people who has the consistency and the will to do things just to achieve their goals.

Your perseverance will pay off in the end. Keep it up!
 
So, it's weigh-day again. Drum roll please....... 208.6! O_O

I'm so excited, I can't even tell you. Last week I had only lost a pound and I was trying not to be too discouraged at that because it's still moving in the right direction. But this week I lost 3.2 pounds! Woot! And that also means I smashed right through 10 pounds and have lost a total of 11.2. It's so nice to see that number going down, to see all my hard work paying off. I'm doing it, I really am doing it this time. Being thin has been a pipe dream for so long, something I'll never really do, something I'll only wish for, that I can hardly believe that I actually can do it. Getting started is the hardest part, now that I'm on this path there's no way I want to stop.

Since I tried keeping up with the rest of the group (and not the beginner mode) on tape 2 earlier in the week, I tried that with tape 1 yesterday. It went fine, so I think I'm done following Suzanne ("beginners, remember, follow Suzanne!"). Yea! I can feel it today, in my legs especially, but that's ok. That's why I give myself a day of rest between tapes. It's really funny how much of a difference it makes to follow the rest of the group, but I know it's making me stronger.

You know, I read all the time about people who have trouble reaching their calorie limits for the day. I used to think "I wish I had that problem!" but now it seems as if I do. I've gotten different suggestions from different sites, but I've sort of averaged it out and try to hit between 1500-1600 calories a day. That seems to fill me up (I never go hungry) and I still lose weight. But lately just getting to 1500 is a problem. Yesterday was the hardest. I thought I splurged a little with dinner, since we had processed chicken strips and I did go back and get one more, but I knew I was fine on calories so figured that I could afford it. Well, I was right! When I looked at the package, there wasn't nearly as many calories in the chicken as I thought there was and wound up at 1073! Uh-oh. That's way to low and I was full! I tried to have a snack last night, but I just flat out wasn't hungry and we didn't even have anything that would equal 500 calories but wouldn't make me want to die from over-eating. So I know I was way low yesterday, but since that was one day and not a trend, I'll just let it go. Heck, I get my free day this weekend because of hitting my 10 pound mini goal, so I figure I just saved up a few calories for that.

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Ok, that was all written this morning, then I had to go to work. Today was fine, typical day. My mom and grandma came this evening and took us out to eat. I knew I was just fine on calories and I ordered broiled walleye (very low cal) so I treated myself and had a margarita with dinner. Yum! And I'm still 7 calories short of hitting my range, lol. I'm going to have some applesauce as a bedtime snack. I know that was just a bunch of empty calories, but I did have room for it and it's the first time in four weeks that I've let myself have a treat. Plus, I really wanted the "fish and chips" (ok, I really wanted a steak, but it's Friday and I'm Catholic), but that's breaded and fried fish and french fries. Nope, had the broiled fish with rice blend and coleslaw instead. And I didn't eat any of the chips and salsa that came before the meal either. I think my mom wondered why, but she didn't ask.

And, no, neither one said anything about me looking like I've lost weight. That's ok. It would have been nice, since they don't know I'm doing it and thus, it would have been honest. But it's ok. I know I haven't lost a lot and it doesn't show much yet. Wait until Easter, bet they notice then! Josh's parents might be coming this weekend, but I won't take it too seriously if his mom says something. She seems to ask if I've lost weight about every other time I see her, when my weight hadn't changed in years. lol

I know it's conceited to say, but I do feel rather proud of myself. I'm making better choices, I'm sticking with it, I'm not cheating or giving up and it's working. I've been on cloud nine all day because of reaching, and surpassing, my 10 pound mini goal. We ran to the grocery store tonight to pick up a few things and I couldn't help grabbing a 10 pound bag of flour, just to see how much it weighed. It was heavy! Josh gave me an indulgent look, but I didn't care. I'm excited.

And... I had about 10 other things I was going to say tonight, but I can't remember them now. Blah, I need to keep a list. Oh well, bed time soon. I'm tired.
 
So, I had decided at the start that for every 10 pounds I lost, I got a free day. Yes, that means I only get one a month or so, but it's actually easier for me with fewer free days. When I have one, it's not really that easy to go back to eating healthy. I knew for this one I wanted some Cold Stone ice cream so we went on Saturday and got that. In the past I have always gotten the "Like it" size (the smallest one, it's still huge!) and typically I could only eat about half in one sitting, but it freezes well to keep for the next day. (I tend to prefer salty or savory snacks, too much sweet gets to me) I did that this time too.

Although, I don't know, it didn't taste quite as good as I remember. I mean, it did taste good, but I thought it would be better. Maybe it's just that my palate has gotten used to the new diet. And, I think I shocked my system. I got very, very hyper for a while, then my tummy got very, very grumpy. I guess that much sugar after nothing for a month will do that. Also, in the evening we had some mozzarella bites. YUM! Those were every bit as good as I remember and more. Even with all that though, when I logged my calories, I was still only at about 1900, which is still a little under what "My Plate" tells me is good for weight loss. So, even on my free day I didn't to too much damage. It was just a lot of empty calories. I did finish the ice cream on Sunday, but stayed under my calories for the day.

It was hard to exercise this morning. I wasn't tired, exactly, but didn't seem to have the stamina. I tried not to let my form suffer, but it was a struggle the whole way through. Also, I always open the patio door in the living room when I exercise to help cool me down. When it was 5 below or so, that felt so good. Now it's about 35 above outside at 5am and that's not nearly as cooling. It's still pretty chilly outside, but it doesn't cool the room off as much when I'm exercising. So maybe that's part of it. Well, better get used to that!

I have to break this habit I'm getting to weighing myself nearly every day. It's not official until Friday, but I hop on the scale a lot. Even more then once a day, sometimes. I know what I'm doing it right and that it's working, so I don't need daily monitoring of that.
 
I was just reading over my diary and I realize that I repeat myself a lot. :doh: Sorry about that. I forget what I've written and I don't want anyone reading this (if anyone does read this) to feel lost.

I've been thinking a lot today about a friend of mine. I mentioned her before, she's the one who was going to start losing weight / getting healthy at the same time I did. She's in her Master's course and lives with her parents (college is expensive!). I know she's all but given up on exercising, saying that she doesn't have time with college and all. It seems to me like she could find time, but what do I know? Maybe she really, truly doesn't have time or maybe it just doesn't mean as much as other things she has going on.

But she's also been complaining that she can't eat well with her living situation and that people eat her food or won't get healthy options for her. I've listened, and felt bad for her, but then the other day I was talking to her on the phone and I heard someone ask if they could get anything for her at the store. Her reply was "yeah, get me some diet soda and Slim Fast." :svengo: I wanted to say "THAT'S what you've been eating???" I guess I don't know much about Slim Fast, but it seems to me like real, whole food would be healthier and keep you fuller.

I'm just concerned that she's buying into things that are supposed to be good for dieters, but really aren't. Like diet soda, granola bars, fruit juices, etc. Things that are loaded with calories, sugar or artificial sweeteners, but no substance. It's her life, and I'm going to continue no matter what she does, but I'm afraid that she won't lose weight and will just give up because of it.

Ok, sorry, I guess I just needed to get that out.
 
I made some bad choices yesterday. The main one was right before bed. I had calories left over, so I had a snack. But instead of picking something healthy like an apple with peanut butter (I had 300-400 calories left) I decided to eat a whole bag of microwave kettle corn. Calorie-wise, it wasn't horrible. I did go over my limit, but only by 10 calories and it was an exercise day. But it was just so many empty calories! About 425 empty calories. The only positive thing I can say is that it was fiber, but I could have gotten fiber some other way. And, if I'm going to be totally honest with myself, I didn't eat it for the fiber. I ate it because I wanted it.

*sigh*

See? This is why I don't have many free days. Once I start, I slowly make more and more bad choices. I know it seems like I'm being very hard on myself, but I have to be or I won't make it. Once I get a taste of what I'm missing, I start wanting it more and more. And I start telling myself "I've been doing so well, I can have a little snack". Which is fine, but I'll tell myself that over and over. "just one more. Just one more." It's hard enough not always having a choice about dinner (sometimes pizza, fried chicken last night, etc).

No more! I have to buckle down. No more cheating until the next free day, 10 pounds from now. And I think I need to add in a little more exercise. I'm just trying to figure out when. I'd like to go to the exercise room in the evenings and do the treadmill, but if I do it M, W, F then I'm exercising twice on those days and nothing on others. But if I do it on T, Th then I might still be sore when I do my main exercising in the mornings. Weekends are a given, I need to work more in there and stop being so lazy. I think I'll try T, Th for now and see how it goes.
 
Did good yesterday! I did go to the exercise room and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I didn't run (I've never been a runner, even when I was thin and fit), but I did go about 3.5 miles and hour so it was a power walk. I also set it so it would go between 1 and 3 for an incline. Yeah, not much, I know. But I didn't want to over do it. When I was done, though, walking felt so weird! I felt like I was walking too slow and too... flat? It was the strangest feeling. :smilielol5:

The oddest thing happened when I was in there though. I had about 8 minutes left and this middle-aged couple comes into the gym. It's a small one: 1 treadmill, 1 elliptical, 1 bike, a weight machine, a full set of free weights and a bench press. At first they kind of walked up next to the treadmill and hovered there for a minute. I was thinking maybe they wanted the machine, but I was on it first and nearly done anyway. Well, the woman got on the bike, but didn't really petal. She'd sort of go petal once or twice, then stop. I didn't know what the man was up to (since I was facing the tv), but he wasn't on the elliptical and I didn't hear any weights clanking. I finished my walk and when I turned to leave, he was looking at himself in the mirror. Just standing there and staring at himself, about a foot away from the mirror. :confused: Neither one moved from their spots all while I wiped down the treadmill, got my coat on and left.

Now, maybe they wanted the treadmill, although there were two of them and only one machine. Or maybe they just don't like anyone seeing them exercise. Or maybe they are the type of people who think they are "going to the gym" but don't actually do anything once they are there. Or maybe they are just crazy. I don't know. I just hope they aren't there tomorrow, it was very awkward.

My legs are killing today. Between the treadmill yesterday and the very leg work heavy workout this morning. :nopity:
 
Mizzie I found your diary!

What an odd lot at the gym yesterday:leaving:
I hope they're not there today OR if they are there I hope they are doing something >_> like working out maybe and not looking in the mirror!

I read your first entry that you went down to one can of soda from six...good job! Do you still allow yourself one can a day? If so, the new Pepsi max is good. Not sure if you are into Pepsi, but it has 0 calories or carbs and does not taste like a diet soda. If I ever have a soda craving I plan on getting it :D

Good luck today at the gym!
 
Xenon, thanks for your reply! Honestly, I was starting to wonder if anyone ever read this. It's so great to hear a word of encouragement.

Actually, today isn't a gym day. I'm doing that on Tuesdays and Thursdays and hopefully on the weekends too. Today I did an exercise DVD (The Firm). The DVDs are harder then the gym, trust me. lol But I'm really hoping they aren't there tomorrow. It was just so weird.

About the soda, I've actually cut it out completely. I'm lucky, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I think going down to one a day first made it easier. But I've been caffeine free for about a month now. :D But thanks for the tip! If I get a bad craving, I'll give that a shot and won't have to ruin the day with the regular kind.
 
Good for you on cutting out the soda :D I cut out the soda too, but I have that one in my mind just in case I feel for soda one day. :p

I think you're doing good with the exercise. I plan on starting next week. I was originally thinking of 5 days a week but maybe I will start with three or four. Were you working out before you started the diary?
 
If I rememeber right, I started exercising the same week that I started this journal and at the same time I started dieting. I started with one hour, three days a week (the DVDs). I just added in two more times this week (treadmill), but I'm hoping it'll help. The weight lost has started to slow a little, so maybe this will be enough to help up that a bit.

If you want to start with 5 days a week, go for it! You can always reduce the amount if it's too much. Or you can start with 3 or 4 and up it later. I don't think there's really any one right way. For me it's easier to start low and add more. I'm a routine kind of person, so too much change at once makes me give up. :willy_nilly:

Good for you for quitting the soda too! I mentioned this before, but I was drinking 5-6 cans a day! The full sugar kind too. When I added up those calories... :svengo: Not to mention the sugar. Is it any surprise that I'm obese? Never again! I'm also really glad to be caffiene free. (I don't like coffee or tea)
 
Ugg, I was sort of bad last night. After I picked up my daughter from day care, we went to the grocery store to find something for dinner. I really didn't feel like cooking and the hubby was going to be home a little late. My daughter wanted mac and cheese with hotdogs, but I said no to that. I called the hubby, but he didn't have a suggestions. I was hungry, my daughter was hungry and that's not a great time to make good choices.

I wound up getting some crispy chicken strips. Ok, chicken is fine, but not with half an inch of salt laden breading on it! Heck, I might as well have gotten the mac and cheese. And to top it off, I didn't have just one piece and some produce. No, I had 4 pieces (2 servings). I stayed within my calorie range and even fat was under, but not by much. But the sodium! Oh man, the sodium was at 150%. It wasn't much later that I just felt ill for eating that. I know I used to eat like that all the time, but that's what got me here.

Plus, tomorrow is weigh day again. I ususally look forward to that, but this week I'm dreading it. It's my TOM, so I have that against me. Then I go and fill up with sodium! :banghead: I did have an unoffical mini goal of 2 pounds lost this week and I don't think I'll make it. Damn.

Then, to top it all off, I was talking to a friend last night. This is the same one I've mentioned a few times. I told her about the chicken and she didn't seem to get it. She recognized that the breading is bad, but then offered excuses ("You were hungry", "You didn't feel like cooking", "You need to give yourself a break on days like that", etc) I didn't need to be handed excuses, I needed a butt-kicking. Then when I said I felt almost ill about it, she said "Be careful, is sounds like you are on a slippery slope to an eating disorder." :eek: (where's the facepalm smilie?)

Are you kidding me? Wanting to eat whole, real food and not processed crap is an eating disorder? It's not like I'm on some fad diet or something. I'm getting my calories and making an effort to eat healthy and that's an eating disorder? And she should talk! She's the one who's downing slim fast and diet soda. She's the one who totally messed up her cycle taking some quack "diet" pills that were full of estrogen. She's not exercising, she'll have one day where she eats 800 calories, then has a "non-diet" day of 3000+ calories (all empty calories) every other day. Always with a dozen excuses. Then wonders why she doesn't lose weight. And she won't listen to me about BMR or maintaining lean muscle.

Sorry, I guess that just really made me mad and I needed to vent. She's normally a very good friend, very supportive. And she's very smart, so this came out of left field. I guess it irritates me that she thinks she's going to lose weight by half-assing it and doesn't see that I'm being more successful then she is because I'm not. Nope, I must be developing an eating disorder. :cuss:

Ok, anyway, back to the original point of this. I'm noticing more and more that dinner is the meal that undoes me. Breakfast and lunch are always planned, but dinner never is. I'm always hungry when I'm done with work, and there's always the "what do you want for dinner? I don't care, what do we have? Nothing much, how about this [really unhealthy, full of fat and sodium option]? Is that all we have? Pretty much." discussion. I'm sick of it and it's going to throw this all off wack.

So, hubby gets paid tomorrow and thus, we'll go grocery shopping this weekend. We are very bad about making a meal plan and sticking to it, but that's what's going to happen this week! We are sitting down and making a list of meals for every day for the next two weeks, then buy those foods. And plan ahead, throw meat in the fridge to thaw the night before, etc.

The issues I see with this are: 1) Hubby isn't losing weight, 2) I don't like most cooked veggies, 3) I don't cook much and hubby is a fan of frying, 4) we like a lot of carbs; pasta, bread, potatoes. So coming up with a meal plan that I'll like, hubby and daughter will like, and is healthy is going to be a challange. Any suggestions? I'm also finding I need more fiber in my diet, so that's something I need to figure out too.
 
I also don't believe there is only one way to weight loss or exercise...everyone is so different!

Here is one of my fave facepalm pix
:p:p

Mizzie ... I know you want buttkicking, but....don't be too hard on yourself with the TOM weigh ins...It's only natural at that time we are holding more water *shakes fist at physics* and it is not your true weight.

Sorry to hear about your friend, hopefully she will start doing better. A lot of people think that being very careful with what you eat is an eating disorder. I wonder if she is afraid to have what she sees as an eating disorder and that is what keeps her in limbo? Weight loss has a huuge mental aspect. It could appear that she is not having enough discipline, but there may be an underlying cause. In my case there was anyway :p

OMG there are a lot of tasty "ethnic" foods that are low calorie. Do you and your family like ethnic foods? Do you have a grill?

Some foods that come to mind:
Thai red curry shrimp
Grilled chicken breast with salsa and guacamole(1 oz guacamole is 43 cals, 3.4 grams of fat and 54mg of sodium)
Chicken and Shrimp Fajitas on pita without cheese
Curried shrimp with green and red peppers with white rice
Baked fish stuffed with seasoned peppers and okra with baked potatoes

If you want any more info on these tell me....hope I don't come across as stalking your diary:leaving:
 
Lol, stalk away! I don't mind. Like I said before, it's nice to know someone is reading my rambles and it's great to get feedback. Sorry you came in on such a rant-y few days.

Thanks for the dinner suggestions. Unfortunately, I don't really care for peppers, but maybe I can make some changes on those basic ideas. I'll have to think about that. I need a cookbook called Healthy Recipes for Picky Eaters! Anyone have one? :rolleyes: Or maybe a customizable website where you can enter ingredients that you want or don't want and it'll spit out recipes that fit. Something like "Easy, Dinner, Must have: A, Must not have: B, C, D." Hmmm... I should make one! I could make millions. Patent pending, no stealing it! ^_~

After thinking about it, I think my friend's comment came out of me saying I felt kind of ill from dinner. Maybe she took that as "I feel like going and throwing it up" which is not at all what I meant. (!!!) My outlook on food has changed a lot and I'm starting to see healthy things for what they really are; fuel for my body. And unhealthy things as what they really are; junk (to be enjoyed very, very sparingly).

Don't worry, I'm not tying my success with my friend's. When we decided to start together, I promised myself that I would continue no matter what. She has a lot going on right now and I wasn't sure she was really ready to make a true commitment to losing weight. I know how it is, I've done that many times in the past. You're right, it is a huge mental thing. If your head isn't there, you won't succeed. I finally want it more then I want to slack on exercise or eat junk food. Right now, she doesn't. Simple as that. And that's ok, she doesn't have to be. It's her life and her body, her business. I just was so shocked and upset by that comment, partially because it's very out of character for her.
 
Yeah I understand and I know you want the best for her also!

Check out Allrecipes.com....they have a lot of low calorie meal recipes...some with 300 cals or less per serving. I hope you find something you all will like.

For the Fajitas maybe you can do onions and mushrooms...if you like them :p
Yogurt is my nemesis....I can't stand the stuff!
 
Xenon: Thanks, I'll check out that site. And yes, I do want what's best for my friend and I think she'd be happier with herself if she lost the weight. I feel like I have some knowledge on the subject that would be good for her, but she's just not in that place now. She doesn't admit that she's given up, but I really think she has. Well, I think most of us here have been there, done that.


Weigh day! Oy... Well, I did make my 2 pound unofficial mini goal. I'm at 206.2, which is a 13.6 pound loss total and is 2.4 down from last week. Which is great. It is! And I am happy and proud of that. But I was really confused this morning. I got my exercise clothes on (I always weigh in those clothes) and weighed. I got 206.8. Damn, 1.8 pounds. Didn't make it. Well, I exercised (more on that later) and realized I didn't remember for sure what the number was at (was it .6 or .8?), so I hoped on the scale again and it said 206 even. :confused: Now, I know I had sweat a lot, but that was still on me and it couldn't have been nearly a pound... could it? I went to update my weight and decided to try it one more time to be sure and got 206.2. :banghead:

At this point, I decided to stop weighing myself and stick with that number.

Geez, how much do I fluctuate in the mornings? o_O So, that's the official number since it was the last one, but I'm not sure if that .6 difference from the first to the last was really a loss or just water that I sweat out. Oh well, in the long run, .6 pounds is nothing.

So, 13.6 pounds lost total, which is very, very exciting! I think that my official mini goal of 20 pounds by Easter is doable at this point. Can't slack though! Just over 3 weeks left, so that's at least 2 pounds a week. And, if I make that, I'll be under 200 by then, which would make me so, so happy! I can't wait. I don't care if it's 199.8, that would be under 200. ^_^ Oh, and only 2 more pounds until I weigh less then my husband, which will also make me happy. So that's my next unofficial mini goal: Weigh less then hubby.

So, I went to the gym again yesterday to do the treadmill for a while. I was really happy to see the room was empty when I got there and no one came the whole time I was there. That's always the best! Turned on the TV and just started going. I put it on the "weight loss" program, which varies the incline and speed at intervals. I started at a speed of 3 and an incline of 5. It was tough, 5 minutes into it I wanted to quit, or at least slow down, but I didn't. I knew if I pushed through it, I'd be able to do it and I did! I was pretty proud of myself for that, because it wasn't easy. Did 30 minutes. That's not long, but I knew dinner would be about ready and I was starving. And that's how long the default time on the treadmill is.

Got up this morning to do one of the DVDs and right away noticed that my right knee was hurting. Uh oh. I didn't want to skip exercising... Ok, that's a lie, I did want to skip exercising, but I didn't want to give myself an excuse to. Tested out the knee and found out that it didn't hurt to put weight on it and it didn't hurt to bend it. It only hurt to put weight on it while bending it. Ok, I can work with that. Did the DVD, but skipped out on the lunges and dips on that leg. Worked just fine and the knee already seems to be getting better. I think I just stressed it a bit yesterday.

Don't worry, I won't mess up my knee just to exercise. But it really didn't hurt badly and I knew there were a lot of things on the DVD that wouldn't stress the knee at all. I am glad I get the next two days off though, I'll be able to rest it. I don't take chances with knees. Once you mess them up, that's it.

Exercise was hard, hard, hard today. I didn't want to do it. At all. But I made myself and I'm glad I didn't let me use the knee as an excuse. In the past, I totally would have.

I talked to the hubby last night about planning out meals for the next two weeks and he thinks that's a good idea. I think we'll go shopping on Sunday. Tomorrow is going to be kind of a busy day and that gives me tonight and tomorrow to plan.

ETA: I just did the math and I'm 19.4% of the way to my goal weight! O_O *happy dance*
 
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