Michelle's Diary

littlekeylime said:
Thanks Brian, for checking in on me. It's nice of you. I'm mostly just writing down my food intake again (which I haven't been doing) and upping the calories to a sane amount. Also, not killing myself on my machine. I'd like to do some walking but we have no sidewalks in our hood and with the snow storm, there's no safe place to do so. I'll have to rely on my elip and the Firm dvd's. But this time I will not kill myself with those either. It only forces me to quit. I don't want to be a quitter. I mostly drink calories, so switching to water will help tremendously. Thanks again for posting. Seeing that someone has posted sends me an email and gets my butt back here again. It really helps! Oh and congrats on the little one!!!!! Are you getting any sleep?

:beating:
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Little one aint here yet :). He should be in like 3 weeks though- I have that scared/excited thing going on right now. We finially got his room done this weekend so we are 'ready' for him now...

You need to keep things at sane levels Michelle. It is when you start to get to the crazy levels that you start something that you cannot finish. Slow and steady is the only way that you are going to win at this. Recognizing this is very important.
frickin 6 degrees here today with a lovely coating of ice so believe me, I know what you are saying about not going outside. If I could avoid it I would- but unfortunately I needed to leave this mornign for work.
6 degrees! 6! man it is bitter cold out there...
 
Thanks Trusylver, I think you're right. I'm hoping it will make a huge difference. It already has. I've dropped three pounds since I re-started my efforts! But that usually happens when I just start off getting smart. I'll take it though!

B, I must have misunderstood about the tike being post-uterus already! Get all the sleep you can now. My daughter was sleeping the night through after a month, so it might not be bad at all. I don't want to scare you. You'll be so whipped, you won't care, that's the beauty of it! Congrats on the room, that's a huge one off the list. And don't let your wife worry about labor and delivery. Mine was awesome. It's not nearly as bad as all the mom's in the world like to brag about. (pet peeve of mine).

I've been doing well. Eating chef salads to kick off my diet. But with two eggs instead of one and adding another slice of deli ham. I never would do that before. Its been nice not being so damn hard on myself. And obviously that method didn't work. I also hopped on my elip yesterday and just took it easy. Kept my heart rate around 125. Before, I would expect to keep my hr in the 160's or higher right off the bat. Now I've learned that I will get there soon, but I'm not ready yet. Having a red face, gasping for air and experiencing wobbly legs and arms is not healthy. I'm just getting my heart going faster, but letting myself enjoy it a lot more...

I know now that you're specific kick in the butt is what got me on track. I'll always appreciate that. You can read all the info in the world about correct dieting and it might not sink in, I mean really sink in, until someone explains it correctly for you. Thank you! You are my hero. Hee hee.

:seeya:

ps. I KNOW what you mean about the weather. It's been ten below at the bus stop each morning for a week. I HATE it. Currently, it's one degree and I noticed the warm-up. Isn't that insane?? One month it's 40 below windchill, then in August it's 100 degrees. Geesh.
 
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Another day, wish me luck. I'm getting on the scale daily and I know I really shouldn't do that, but its such motivation when I've gone down, even a fraction of a pound. At least I know if it doesn't go down, it doesn't mean I'm not making progress. That's something I've learned too and it's been very valuable information. But knowing I will be getting on the scale in the morning helps me not cheat at night so I'll keep doing it until it starts hurting my progress. I know fish and others only weigh in once a week, but I can't do that. I normally go down a pound every other day, so on days when it doesn't show, I've been okay, looking forward to the next day. I know things will change and there will be more days when the loss doesn't show, but I know its coming. A pound every other day is a lot and I know losing weight is not a regular thing! I'm expecting drastic plateaus in between the losses. I've learned that from my friends around here. Just keep going and never give up. That's the key.

Anyhoo. Worked out for 40 minutes yesterday without killing myself. Got my heart rate in the 140s mostly. Working my way up...Now I'm off to make an eggbeater omlet with peppers, onions, mushrooms, smiling cow cheese and BL muscling up meatballs. I'm so hungry!
 
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well done doing your 40 minutes, your fitness levels will improve over time Great work.
 
Thanks TS. I'm enjoying it now that I'm being smart. I used to be athletic and able to jump into stuff quickly, but now that I'm pushing 40 and sixty pounds overweight, that's just not happening! But my brain still thinks it should. Frustrating. The good news is like you said, it will get easier, and I will get there again. I'm looking forward to breaking out my firm dvds too. I know weight lifting is really important.

I read through some of your diary, tell me more about your weight lifting and what you do athletically. I'd love to hear about it...

Breakfast today, two BL meatball sandwiches on grain. Tall glass of milk. Thought I'd start big so I can do a firm dvd on the fuel today...wish me luck!
 
...Did the Firm dvd with Jen. I took it easy, felt the burn but didn't kill myself with the cardio. That will come soon enough, I'm sure. It's good to be lifting weights again. But boy, if you neglect it for a while, you really have to start at the beginning again. I usually use 15lbs for my pec flys, but used ten's today and was a little wobbly. After the workout, I felt so good. I love it when my muscles are warmed up and stretched. I feel so limber and good!

Turkey on grain for lunch with tomato & lettuce and a glass of water for lunch. I'm feeling great today!
 
littlekeylime said:

I read through some of your diary, tell me more about your weight lifting and what you do athletically. I'd love to hear about it...
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I am also moving towards 40 a little faster than i would like lol.

I still have a little more fat than i like and acording to BMI i am morbidly obese but that realy means nothing, with my build I have regular BF% measured instead.

as for stuff i do athletically, I have been a competitive lifter for 2 1/2 years now but have always been into sport, including over 10 years of Judo, as a teenager if there was a sport to do i would be there. I used to play broomball before i met my DH and was a reserve for the National team BUT i then met my DH and we now have 3 sons. Currently I play Rugby Union (Prop or Hooker as needed) and coach Junior football (soccer) in addition to lifting.

One of the reasons i got into the lifting is that i had a weak knee after surgery to fix a problem with the bone following years of discomfort and lack of mobility after an earlier injury when i tore the ligaments in it. (A few no a lot of extra pound of weight didn't help either)


It won't take long for your muscles to get used to doing the flys again and you will be lifting more in no time :)
 
Wow, you are athletic! Impressive list of hobbies you've got there. You must be a very busy woman! I know what you mean about the knees, they seem to be the first thing to go. My DH has had knee surgery too. He was squatting down to work on his jeep, then "snap" damaged cartilage and off to sports medicine for a fix. My knees snap and pop when I walk up the stairs and it really scares me. I've got to get rid of this weight I'm putting on them daily...

I used to work for an airline, moving luggage and mail, so my upper body is still pretty strong under the fat, but my legs are awful. I love doing weights up top, but squats are hell! I can't wait until I can do the whole workout/dvd again...

Thanks for checking in on me TS. Hope you have a great week!
 
I haven't gotten on the scale for a week. I'm afraid to. Being Christmas and that time of the month, it's been a rollercoaster. I'm going to just eat smart, and get some elip in today. Maybe get on the scale tomorrow. I really need to refocus when I get off track and remember how excited I will be to get to my first goal...and it's totally obtainable. Off to pay bills, then exercise. Salad for breakfast. And a mt dew. I know, naughty me, but I was craving something with a zing and it makes me feel like I'm not totally deprived. I don't eat sweets, so that was my treat for the day...

Chugging along.
 
Ha! That last Mt. Dew was a foreshadowing of what was to come. I've been so bad, not thinking about my health at all. Coming back here is such a great way to get on track again. It's been a difficult spring for me and my family, but things are starting to get aligned again and life goes on so it's time to refocus on me again. It's been too long.
 
I'm back. Boy have I been awful. I'm afraid football season and beer celebrations were too much. It stinks to get back on here and have to move my ticker back up, but it's a good thing for me to be back. This time feels different somehow. I got on my scale the the other day and I was up to 234. Ouch. Time to get back on track. For the last week and a half I've been getting up at six and doing my eliptical. I moved it down in front of the tv and it's been working. I'm a morning person, so I had to figure out that early is the only time I'll do it. Then it's done and off my list for the rest of the day. Seems to be working for me. Once I get my heart in a little better shape, I'll move back on to the Firm dvd's in the morning.

Also, I've been eating smart and drinking only ice water. Tea when I crave something sweet. One bottle of Mt dew when I go grocery shopping every two weeks. I've learned to give in here and there and it really helps. I'm not on a diet, but I'm just being smart.

So six pounds down from when I started. It's a start. I know it always is more than normal off the line, so as I start to plateau, I will up my elip/workout effort and see how that goes...

I've got a trip to Key West planned the end of March, so I'm trying to lose 30 lbs (28 now!), before then. Then I'll reward myself with a haircut/color and have a wonderful vacation. I'm hoping if I lose 34 pounds from when my family last saw me, they'll notice a difference...fingers crossed.

Glad to be back!
Hugs,
Michelle
;)
 
Just read my last post, boy it would be so fun to go to key west thirty pounds lighter. It seems like a pipe dream, but at the same time I get really excited because I think I just might do it this time and enjoy the reality. Thirty pounds is not much compaired to what I have to lose. I'd like to get down to 155 and see how I look at that point. That would be crazy. So thirty to start, then forty five to finish. I'll have to take baby steps, but how fun would it be.

Sometimes when I need motivation, I think about people seeing me who have never seen me thin. I know it's vain, but it's fun to think about! I'm menstruating (sorry, but this is my personal diary!:)) and I only mention it because I was down to 227 yesterday and today when I got on, it read 230. I was going to take a break from exercising today, but I think I'll do it just to help me through this. I know after my period, I will drop the retained water weight, but I want to make sure it is a nice number when it does!

My heart is improving, I can tell as I work out. It gets a little easier every week. I remember when I was in shape and was athletic and I crave that feeling again. After a rowing practice I would get a high. My body would be all warm and loose. It was wonderful. I want that totally fit feeling again...
 
Okay, I just read the beginning of my diary and two years ago, I started out at 220 and got down about ten pounds before I fell away from my diary. Sigh. Now I'm feeling depressed. This is such a mind game. Okay, off to try a firm dvd. All my friends on here are no longer on here because they were successful. That's so cool. But it makes me feel like a quitter. Okay, I refuse to let this get to me. Wish me luck...
 
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Yesterday and the day before I did the Firm (teal and blue) dvd's and during the cardio segments I jumped onto the elliptical. It worked out well. Those dvd's are very difficult for someone in my shape, but it gives me something to shoot for. I'm sore all over today and it feels great. Took the day off today for rest. I dropped two pounds today which was nice since I was at 230 for three days running. I know I shouldn't weigh in every day, but it's just my personality to do so. Once a week doesn't keep me focused like once a day does. Now I know I'm always making progress, no matter how long I plateau, that will help. It's important to know that. Every smart thing I do works to my benefit. No smart move goes unused...
 
Down .2 today. I've got family coming in to town this weekend, and it might be our last game bid for the superbowl, so I'm going to allow myself a beer and some snacks. I don't want to miss all the fun things in life because of the changes I'm making. I'll just have to keep things in moderation. I think I'm doing really well. A week ago Lean Quizine was on sale and we didn't have enough money to REALLY stock up. Oh well. I got some. It's just so nice when I don't feel like cooking, to have a nice portioned meal that tastes good...

Eight pounds to go before Feb. 1. Hope I can do it...
 
226.8

That's fun to see. My sister is visiting and she is sick, so I'm trying to take care of her and exercising in the morning at six by her room isn't going to work. But that's life, right? I'll just start on Tuesday again when she leaves. So far, the exercising hasn't really helped with the weight loss. I know it's helping tone and shape me tremendously, but a few days off isn't going to halt my weight loss progress.

I was in a snacky mood, so decided to get on and log a few words instead. And focus on a healthy lunch instead. Six point eight pounds to go until February first! Hope I can do it. I think it's reasonable. Ice water (skinny juice as I call it) has been my crutch. When I'm hungry or craving some ridiculous thing, I chug as much ice water down as I can stand and feel full and refreshed and move on to something else. Boy, I hope I can stay focused and succeed this time through. Learning to exercise first thing in the morning this time I think is a huge revelation for me...

We'll see.
 
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225.6

Progress is slow, but it is still progress. Right now, I'm close to ten lost. Then, ten more and I've hit a HUGE checkpoint for me. Twenty pounds and I might feel some changes in my clothes. I'm still hoping to hit ONE-derland before the end of March and my Key West trip. What a blast that would be. Wow. And then, maybe once I achieve it, it won't seem like a big deal. I guess I'll have to wait see. Thirty five pounds would be amazing. I just need to stay focused...
 
You can do it! Just have faith in yourself. I got this quote from Alta, "Focus is the result of a strong desire---and you want this!"
 
Thank you Stephanie, for reading my diary. Its been sort of lonely around here! lol This diary stuff really helps keep me on track though. Makes me somewhat accountable. I forget sometimes why I'm doing this. I like your quote about focus. It's totally true! I really want this. To not be ashamed to put pictures up on facebook of myself. And to finally get a family picture taken. It would be so fun to be healthy again...
 
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