Marsia's Diary

Thanks everyone! I love being a mom! I've been volunteering at the play a few times this week and last. Made and bought lots of food for the kids for snacking on back stage. I have been so tired lately. Caffeine makes me mildly sick and then I crash after a few days - wish I didn't turn to it when tired or anxious. But I am also having a really nice time with the play and J and I are having really good conversations lately - feeling happy as a couple.

I brought my mom to a physical therapist for vertigo and she is so fragile and out of shape that just getting moved around by the therapist made her sore and in pain today, and we go back tomorrow. I am cranky that she took horrible care of herself and now expects her therapy to be nice and cozy and never challenging. Hope she gets better soon - I would like a break from doctor's offices soon.

It's been so rainy and nice all this week, but I haven't had a spare moment to garden. Want to get nice food cooked for the weekend, so may only get a little in tomorrow. But I am either getting lots of steps in and/or resistance training.
 
Marsia said:
Made and bought lots of food for the kids for snacking on back stage.
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Somewhat healthy, I assume?
Marsia said:
But I am also having a really nice time with the play and J and I are having really good conversations lately - feeling happy as a couple.
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That´s great to hear!
Marsia said:
she is so fragile and out of shape that just getting moved around by the therapist made her sore and in pain today, and we go back tomorrow.
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Remember to tell the therapist she was in pain after therapy. That´s often useful information about a new client´s general state.
 
Thanks LaMa! The snacks were pretty healthy - they are for about 40 or 50 kids, so couldn't go all out, but I made sure to include organic blueberries or bowls of tangerine slices or some form of fresh vitamin C fruit that isn't messy and hummus, cheese, or dip and crackers, and then things they like cookies and popcorn. The sweets were always eaten first, but they did eat the healthy food all up, too.

The physical therapy for my mom's vertigo worked amazingly well (and we did tell her about the back pain after the last session.) After just one session, the spinning has stopped, and now they just work on balance and her light headedness from having very variable high blood pressure that they can't get down with more high blood pressure medication, because it slows her heart rate too much. I like the therapist a lot. She seems used to old people with memory problems and has a nice but strong personality, so my mom likes her, too. My mom definitely tested her, and she passed, so they are working well together, which is so great. I hope they get to the point where my mom can walk on uneven ground again - that really worries me that she can't.

I completely took the day off and only cooked and read and slept after driving my daughter to school with her guitar and driving my mom to the physical therapist. I feel a lot better but need to take it easy the next couple of days and get a lot of sleep. I ate well today and for the first time in a few days, stuck to my diet and fasting window. I just didn't feel good enough to do that the last few days. Ok, time for more sleep! Good night!!
 
Marsia said:
I ate well today and for the first time in a few days, stuck to my diet and fasting window. I just didn't feel good enough to do that the last few days.
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Sounds sensible to me and I´m glad you´re feeling well enough to get back to it now. Glad your mom and her therapist clicked - in theory it shouldn´t matter but in reality it often makes a big difference.
 
Hi LaMa! It's actually helpful to watch the therapist with my mom, because I get frustrated with my mom for not wanting to do anything even slightly out of her comfort zone, but the therapist is able to figure out what my mom is afraid of and provision for it, so she gets her to do things my mom would refuse to do with me. So good life lesson.

I started meditating again and it really helps - didn't realized how tense I have gotten. Today we meet our daughter's best friends and their parents after the play and go out and celebrate together. I'm just going to take it easy today and cook a little and putter around. Everyone is so tired, so I'll read in bed this morning so I don't wake anyone up.

I am back down to my low weight of 172.8. Just needed to relax, I guess!

Happy weekend!!!
 
I'm glad you are feeling more rested. I am going to try meditation I think. Whenever you mention zen Buddhism I sigh & think how good that seems.
You have been so busy and it would be good if you could concentrate on doing some things that make you feel relaxed & happy. We can get so involved with what everyone else wants to do & help facilitate that, but mustn't forget to think about ourselves. Enjoy your Sunday, Marsia, xoxo
 
Thanks so much Cate! Meditation is so good because there is no right or wrong way to do it, and it focuses you on both relaxing and being in a state of energized curiosity at the same time. So it's both relaxing and helps for being present at the same time, which I often forget to try on my own when not meditating.

It's so good taking it easy 2 days in a row. Next week will be a lot less busy, too, thank goodness. And no more plays or sports this year, so we all get more family time finally!! Me time is very lovely - I am listening to a lot of music and being warm and cozy. But I am glad I helped with the play so much. I love collaborative arts so much, especially participating in them!

The weather should get less cold and wet next week, too. The only down side is that Sunday is our daylight savings day when we lose an hour of sleep and get up in the pitch dark for the next few weeks. I wish they did away with that now that farming is mostly mechanized. So crossing fingers for a lovely, rejuvinating, full of gardening and sunshine spring!!! I am really ready for it!
 
Marsia said:
The only down side is that Sunday is our daylight savings day when we lose an hour of sleep and get up in the pitch dark for the next few weeks. I wish they did away with that now that farming is mostly mechanized.
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Daylight saving time never had anything to do with farming - farmers adapt to nature, not to the clock. I do agree that it´s pretty useless.
Nice to hear you´re getting more time to yourself again!
 
I was talking with friends who said that it passed as a law in California not to have to follow daylight savings time anymore (Arizona apparently doesn't follow it), but after trying it and having kids walking to school in the pitch dark in the fall, they reverted back to daylight savings time. So I guess it does benefit someone.

We just got through taking a lovely walk in these fields full of tall majestic cedars near the cliffs by the ocean where there is a cute little lighthouse. We sat in our favorite bush called a twig bush that is so tough but giving and wiry but soft that you can climb it and sit in it. My favorite book as a tiny kid was Go Dog Go where all these dogs go to a dog party in the top of a tree, so we call this bush the go dog go bush, and love climbing in it and sitting around in it when we find it growing in the trees around here - mostly near the ocean for some reason.

We're at a cafe now and my daughter is crocheting penguins for an endangered species habitat project. It's nice to have down time for what seems like the first time in ages.

I've been eating well with no caffeine, but broke my fast last night out celebrating with my daughter's friends and their really nice moms. Had French onion soup without the bread cubes. It was really yummy and worth breaking the fast for!

I am so happy it is going to be warm and sunny tomorrow and had periods of warm and sun today. I have missed it - it's been so rainy and cold this winter. Not complaining though, it may have finally broken our years long drought. Everything is green and lush and so beautiful!
 
Go dog go was one of the favourite books of both our sons. I loved reading it to them & then again to the grandkids. We wore that book out! To the tree, to the tree :)
 
Plentiful rain can be annoying but everything´s so lovely when it does rain enough!
Marsia said:
after trying it and having kids walking to school in the pitch dark in the fall, they reverted back to daylight savings time.
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That´s strange. Sounds like they didn´t get rid of daylight saving time but tried to stick to it all year long. Winter time is the "real" time for your time zone so if things are changing there they were doing weird things.
 
Hi LaMa, it was actually light out this morning when we got to the bus stop, so I see what you mean. I have no idea about the daylight savings thing. Weird how hard it is to break old traditions that no longer work!


I think I may be having a bad reaction to clorinated water - whenever I go for non-caffeinated tea or water in a restaurant, I get a sore throat while drinking it. I'm so happy we have well water!

My daughter was upset about something a clueless friend did to hurt a boy's feelings that she has to straighten out now, so she woke me up to talk about it last night, so I am going to take a little nap soon. I am really happy all the business is behind us and I can relax and do nice things with the spring now! A nap will be a nice place to start!
 
I know it is a bad idea to take myself seriously when I've been feeling run down and not in the best of spirits, but have been feeling a little blue the last few days. J had 2 improv troupes over yesterday for a total of 5 hours, and I wasn't feeling so great anyway, so I mostly read in bed and then went out to a cafe with my daughter because it is too loud to think in the house when there is improv going on. So not much exercise this last week, but I'm probably not up to doing much anyway. Tomorrow I chaperone on a field trip, and hope I have the energy. I'd really love to garden today (especially because I rescued all these spring bulbs someone pulled up and stuck in their recycling bin) but I should still take it easy.

I got all sad yesterday because J's troupe was having such a great time and laughing so much doing improv, and if J joins me and my daughter doing things, he is usually either checked out or grouchy that we are having fun instead of exercising harder. He isn't good at relaxing except with his improv troupe. He has been getting us to do resistance training which is really nice, but if he isn't in charge teaching us things, he is not very pleasant to do things with, not that bad, but he makes me sort of tense. I wish I knew what to do about this. I think I have to start finding like minded people to hang out, but there is so much to do at home, I feel guilty going and having my own life. He used to be fun and laugh with me like he does with his improv people. I feel a little stuck and not sure how to solve this. I have tended to have partners who like doing things together, and he has come to view relationships as sort of pooling resources and having largely separate lives. I feel like I am in some sort of business arrangement sometimes. I feel like deleting this, but will leave it and see if anyone else has figured something like this out.
 
Do take yourself seriously when you feel run-down! Your well-being matters.
Couldn't you just tell him how much you like to hear him laugh and be happy like that and ask if there are activities you could do as a family which would let you share something similarly fun?
 
We've had a lot of talks like you are describing, but I guess I need to keep asking him and maybe eventually we will find common ground. Thanks for the nice support!!!
 
Or maybe - if he isn´t forthcoming with ideas - you plan different kinds of family outings to try and optimize? I think you mentioned enjoying biking together a while back.
 
I think I have to start doing that again. I could get his bike out and see if I can get it working. He hasn't ridden with us since my daughter was a baby - it still has her little toddler seat on it. I think you are right - I have to initiate because the second he has free time, he fills it up with improv classes. Part of the problem is that he is a city person and very social and I am a country person and like to socialize with close family and maybe one or two other people. So maybe I have to learn to talk with big groups of actors and find a way to not get freaked out at all the dramatic energy and hugginess and all that.
 
I'm glad you didn't delete your post, Marsia. I don't think I would cope with the improv group. I would feel like hiding. Keep talking & keep working on him. It's really important to your relationship that he joins you doing the things you like to do, rather than you having to fit into everything he wants to do. It's not fair otherwise. Getting that bike out sounds like a really good idea. G likes to be in charge too, but he knows that I need to do what I want to do as well. Sometimes they can get carried away with their own importance, to the detriment of the ones they love. Keep up that communicating, hon :grouphug:
 
Marsia I hope you are feeling somewhat better today . Your doing great and as you tell me self care is important xxx
 
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