Marsia's Diary

[Marsia]

Say what now??? Those poor kids, having to grow up like that And what a useless asshole of a parent.

Your plans look great. So many positive things!

Thanks LaMa, my thoughts exactly! I feel so bad for the kids. The youngest is the most adorable 6 yo boy who could be a gymnast and anything else he wants to be - very charming and smart. The other kids all have great qualities, but you can see that as they get older, they shut down emotionally and socially, get less creative, and more of a mess. If they just hadn't stolen, we would have put up with the dad to help out with giving them a nice vacation place so they had something positive to counterbalance the horrid parents a bit.

I'm happy about my plans.

Your goals sound great and it's really great to have you back after your little break!

Can really relate to that one--I want to find a good balance of keeping my place in order and organized and doing other things. For me I keep leaving a bunch of the chores unfinished and then getting overwhelmed...(and this is me in a tiny apartment!) so I want to try and just commit maybe about an hour a day to doing house stuff and then hopefully have it never get to the point of overwhelm.

Thanks Liza! It's good to be back with my head in a better place again. When I used to do art, I'd leave the house messy except for dishes and cleaning the bathroom, and that way my flow didn't get interrupted. J and K are saying that they'd like to help with housework so I can do more art, so I think I'll make a list of little chores that need doing and put it where everyone can see it. K does help with sweeping and vacuuming, and J helps with dishes now, which is really great. So I think if we all concentrate, we can get a workable solution.

Wow, that was a really bad visitor experience!! Eek!!

Best of luck with your goals. Glad you’re back.

Thanks Em! I think my goals are good, but maybe I won't do all of them at a time so I don't get overwhelmed. We did an almost 3 mile (4.6km) walk yesterday downtown and took pics with our new cameras. I got K a starter camera (with basic manual controls) for her birthday, and got me one so we could go on shoots together. It was really fun, and it took K's mind off the theft. We made sure our family heirloom stuffed toys were all there, and we lucked out that they were. They are really nice realistic looking animals we love that were passed down from me to K.

Oh, M. That sounds like a nightmare! I hope you got your message through to J & he has learned a lesson from all of this. It really sounds horrendous. You did well staying so calm. Kudos to you my friend
Your weight-loss plan sounds good. I must drink more water!

Thanks Cate! I had J explain what he was going to do about the theft, and he took pics of the messed up closet, the boxes that had been rummaged though, and he wrote and explained in detail how much this upset K, as she had just gotten rid of all her possessions except her most treasured ones. The dad got the idea and had even caught the two girls in a restaurant getting free refills of soda from cups which were given to them to get free tap water. He had to explain that this hurts the business, and that it's wrong. They explained that the mom brings cups back to businesses from home to get free refills, and that's how they learned it. Anyway, I kept asking J to tell me what he thought of all this, and he acknowledged that this was a big mistake and that we should screen people in the future. He did feel genuinely bad, especially for K, but he also acknowledged that I didn't deserve having my kitchen rummaged through either, which was nice. He usually blames me for not getting along with people when he brings an obnoxious guest over and I don't like it. So this is a big step for him admitting that some of his friends are super hard to get along with. I do feel good about staying calm. I think the last few years worth of struggle have helped me take hard things in stride to a larger extent.

So today for English we're going to look though our photos from our photo shoot and study the ones we like best. Then we're going to free write and then take ideas from the photos and the free writing and write poems. I was watching an artist-philosopher online (a nice Zen Buddhist student who is a photographer) and it gave me the idea of photographing things that attract us and writing about them. K's education was fairly rigorous academically, but didn't include an exploration of what interests her and sparks her creativity, so I am going to start making up for that this year.

I'm sitting on the porch having breakfast and watching it rain. Nice to be relaxed again! My cat is so happy to have the house back, it's cute to watch her rolling and being gleeful.

 

[liza3]

I'm sitting on the porch having breakfast and watching it rain. Nice to be relaxed again! My cat is so happy to have the house back, it's cute to watch her rolling and being gleeful.

Sounds lovely! Glad you have your house back and you can start into a nice routine. I hope it works well to have the others doing their share of the housework to free you up to do some art. Sounds like your life is coming into something very beautiful there!

 

[Llama]

I do feel good about staying calm. I think the last few years worth of struggle have helped me take hard things in stride to a larger extent.

It does always feel better to keep your cool. Not that it's always easy...

 

[Cate]

It must feel blissful for you having them gone. I'm glad J could see how he needs to be more considerate. I get further with G if I don't lose my temper. I know I feel better too. Enjoy the calm, M

 

[Marsia]

Thanks everyone! I think working really hard to get the house clean and 7 meals cooked for 8 people and dishes done got me in this really zen space, so I could even see things from the dad's perspective. He seems very narcissistic, and I can see how he thinks he's charming and helpful and so graciously imparts his knowledge to others. I briefly had a housemate like this, so I am ok at biting my tongue around this type of behavior. So I guess that sort of patience rubbed off on not getting too upset with J, thankfully. You can't always expect your partner to act like a mature person, I am learning. I certainly have my share of immaturity!

It is so so nice having the guests gone, never to return. When J was discussing them returning (before we knew about the theft) the dad was interjecting that he was thinking of coming back in October. Yow! We may be very lucky we have such a good excuse not to invite them over again!

Today went really well with homeschooling. K wrote a really amazing poem, and I wrote a poem I like that I will count for my interesting reading, because I free wrote and did the whole exercise I made, too. Tomorrow is a physics and calculus day that J teaches, so I can get out in the garden with my bags of coffee chaff and my new raised beds made of huge coffee bags - they are big enough for me, J, and K to stand in, maybe even bigger! I didn't get exercise today, so will make up for it tomorrow. Think I'll meditate now.

Had a good day food-wise and didn't stress eat.

 

[Llama]

Great to be able to split the teaching load with J: thinking how differently people listen to someone who's always around makes me realize how stressful the alternative would be.

 

[Cate]

I'm really glad that J has listened to you, M. That visit gave me the heeby jeebies!
I think it's time I started writing some poetry again. I have been doing a little bit of gardening each day. It makes me happy. Those coffee bag raised beds sound interesting. I wonder if I can source some.

 

[Marsia]

Great to be able to split the teaching load with J: thinking how differently people listen to someone who's always around makes me realize how stressful the alternative would be.

There is no way on earth I could teach physics or calculus. I have to look up which way you divide to do percentages! If J didn't teach her, we'd enroll in courses online. There are retired homeschool people who teach these classes online and some seem very good. But even if these were easy classes, it is really nice J teaches, too, I agree. He loves teaching so much, so it's really nice for him, too.

I'm really glad that J has listened to you, M. That visit gave me the heeby jeebies!
I think it's time I started writing some poetry again. I have been doing a little bit of gardening each day. It makes me happy. Those coffee bag raised beds sound interesting. I wonder if I can source some.

I feel the same about the visit. We bought some sage from the heath food store and we're waiting for it to dry so we can sage the house, especially K's room. I mopped the whole house yesterday and it feels much better in here - that was bad energy and I'm glad it's out of my house, though I do really feel bad about the kids' situation. It was so fun writing poetry, and we watched Dead Poet's Society last night which got us enthused to write more. Gardening is just magical. So glad it's spring there and you can get out in the garden again! The coffee bags they are giving me are not the burlap kind - they are big woven plastic and food safe though like this https://www.bigbagstore.com/big-bag-for-coffee-beans-prod/ . J's going to pick up more today from the coffee roaster people.

I made ribs and mashed potatoes and gravy and summer squash for dinner last night, so did ok with food, but not great. It was so nice having a fattening meal and skipping lunch so I didn't have to worry about it. Not much new. Had a cleaning day and garden prep day and watched it dump down rain outside most of the day. It's really getting cooler and I think I can plant again in the garden!

 

[Llama]

Glad to hear home is feeling like home again. And ribs with mash sounds delicious!

 

[liza3]

Yes nice to hear you in such a positive head space for sure. Sounds like you are really starting to get a nice rhythm to the days with the garden getting established and the homeschool schedule

 

[Cate]

I hadn't heard of saging a house & had to look it up. Do you burn it?

 

[Marsia]

Thanks all! Yes, Cate, we bundle the sage up with string and burn it. The smoke makes the space feel all nice and purified. It's a First Nation tradition - they call it smudging. I guess I am showing my Californian colors!

I've been doing some yoga as my back is a bit testy. That feels really good, but wow, am I stiff. Today we went to a center for homeschoolers where they offer various classes, and K chose the photography course. We lucked out and the second class started just after we got there to check the place out. K made a friend in the class already - her first South Carolina friend! The woman who runs the center is from CA also, and is really nice. We also met a nice mom and son who walked out with us just as a huge arm of lightning struck very close to us. We ducked and stayed close to a brick wall, and it missed us, but our hair stood on end afterwards. (We could all feel the impact through our feet!) Then we went to the bookstore, and I got a much better Python book that I really love, and we had to run to the car because it was dumping down rain. I drove slowly home and the roads were really full of huge puddles, and it poured the entire way home. At one point, I crept over a little bridge that was full of water, and the stream underneath was very full, too. It was weird to be in water suspended over other water. I felt sure this is what they call a tropical storm, but no, looked it up and the description was "heavy rain". Phew!

I am eating a lot of ribs and mashed potatoes - have to lay off! Didn't weigh myself, but will in the morning...

 

[Cate]

I wonder how I would go with sage smoking, with my Asthma. I love the idea of it. Every time I see our First Nations people having smoking ceremonies I think I would like to take part but smoke is really bad for me.
Yay for the photography class & K making her first SC friend! That lightning sounds a bit close for comfort

 

[Llama]

Yay for new friends! Thanks for reminding me it's the start of course season.
I've driven, then stopped in rain heavy enough that any attempt at movement would've made my tires lose contact with the road surface and there's no way I would've tried crossing a bridge.

I wonder how I would go with sage smoking, with my Asthma. I love the idea of it. Every time I see our First Nations people having smoking ceremonies I think I would like to take part but smoke is really bad for me.

You'd probably do terribly but since neither of us has First Nations heritage anyway: you could try boiling a pot of water with a fresh bunch of thyme in it and using the steam instead.

 

[liza3]

We also met a nice mom and son who walked out with us just as a huge arm of lightning struck very close to us. We ducked and stayed close to a brick wall, and it missed us, but our hair stood on end afterwards. (We could all feel the impact through our feet!)

WOW! That's really amazing and scary and thrilling all at the same time....if what you had was just heavy rains I wonder how intense will be the storms!
Wonderful about the photography class and K finding her first S.C. friend

 

[Marsia]

I wonder how I would go with sage smoking, with my Asthma. I love the idea of it. Every time I see our First Nations people having smoking ceremonies I think I would like to take part but smoke is really bad for me.
Yay for the photography class & K making her first SC friend! That lightning sounds a bit close for comfort

K really saged the place quite thoroughly, and I woke up with scratchy eyes and throat, but it was very nice today with the air just smelling so nice and it does psychologically feel better somehow. I don't think you should sage - I like LaMa's solution. I have never ever been that close to a lightning strike. That was such an intense experience!

Yay for new friends! Thanks for reminding me it's the start of course season.
I've driven, then stopped in rain heavy enough that any attempt at movement would've made my tires lose contact with the road surface and there's no way I would've tried crossing a bridge.

Wow, I don't think I've driven in rain where the tires lose contact with the earth before. That sounds terrifying. I did creep across the bridge because I was afraid of that though! K having a friend here is a huge relief, and there are quite a few nerdy, happy kids in the class, so I'm really happy she signed up. I hope you find a nice class!

WOW! That's really amazing and scary and thrilling all at the same time....if what you had was just heavy rains I wonder how intense will be the storms!
Wonderful about the photography class and K finding her first S.C. friend

I am really hoping that we get lots of warning about tropical storms. People say you have to go out into the yard and take anything that could be a projectile in with you. I am not looking forward to that at all!

Today was very productive. We started a new programming book and realized our first one is good because though it is written by someone whose English is not that great, he gives such simple, easy to follow examples. The new book explains things a lot better, but the examples leave us scratching our heads as far as how to implement them at times. So we're using both books and it's going well now.

We took a break and weeded flower beds and mowed the lawn together because tomorrow the last owner's kids are coming over to collect the mail and it's been dumping down rain every day for quite a while, and the lawn was starting to look Jumanji-like. I also blew off the driveway and weeded my soil piles of good dirt for the raised beds, and things look nice again.

We're reading The Hobbit aloud, and I forgot how much better the book is than the movie - so so nice to read it with K. My mom and I read the series together out loud when I was in high school.

Did yoga today, ate nice lunch stir fry with eggplant and yellow squash from the garden, and weighed myself - still the same weight - phew!

 

[Llama]

Tropical storms sound terrifying! I guess it would be best to keep your garden as projectile-free as possible in general just to be on the safe side.
I never watched The Hobbit (because I'm a scaredy cat) but the book was fun.

 

[liza3]

i love the scent of sagebrush...I have been a part of a few smudges and have found them very lovely, but I just love the smell of sage itself without the burning too.
I can't really remember The Hobbit that well. I remember The Lord of The Rings more thoroughly (having both read them and seen the movies) but I seem to remember the Hobbit as a lovely gentle book and it was more The Lord of the Rings that got pretty scary...I don't think I've seen the Hobbit as a movie...but anyways yes, lovely book choice to read aloud I'm sure.
I'm doing some reading aloud with a friend lately. It's lovely to sit out in the cooler but still sunny days and just read to one another.
The gardening, the yoga and the food choices all sound great!

 

[Emilyrose]

My former landlord saged the house one time because she wanted another housemate to move out. Haha.

The Hobbit is such a brilliant book - I read it as a teenager and loved it.

 

[Cate]

I must reread The Hobbit! I won't sage the house but might bring some inside when It grows some more. Your garden must be looking very nice, M.