Lukewarm's Weight Loss Diary

[rimay2k]

OMG that pie looks great-it wouldnt last 5 minutes in my house-I am on a baking strike because last week I literally inhaled 6 muffins which really threw me off a little so to stay on track I am will not bake until I get some self control.

 

[lukewarm]

Tom It's terrifying how powerful a mom's/grandma's cooking can be. It's also scary to think of all the cals. Lard and butter...lol that sounds exactly like my Gram, but she calls it oleo?

Val I'm thrilled that you and your bf are happy again! Thank goodness I know, I really don't want to. But I feel less controlled when it comes to smoking, it's such a social thing. No, I don't enjoy weights. I don't like doing them but I like the way I feel after it's done with. Maybe I'll come to like it in time.

Anna lol I think I might have been a koala bear in a past life as well then. I wish us both luck when it comes to behaving on our vacations Smoking sucks, while I was quitting I had a black tarry lung on my computer desktop as a little reminder. I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's the other day and Audrey Hepburn makes smoking so excrutiatingly appealing.

Kim I can't believe you were able to make cookie dough and survive without indulging! You are superwoman! Yes it's on a stationary bike and I bet you would LOVE it. I certainly do. I look forward to each and every class. I hope I can hit 130's by then.

So I'm going grocery shopping tonight, and I have to send in my progress report, I haven't weighed myself yet though. This is a different shopping trip though as I'm searching for interesting healthy low-cal recipes so that I can just buy all the ingredients at once and then cook tonight so that I have lots of options throughout the week. I hope you all have a wonderful day

Sunday
-Rest & 1300 calories

Food
-Breakfast: WW English Muffin/2 Tbs Nat PB
-Lunch: Oatmeal/Raspberries & 6 Egg Whites
-Snack: Turkey Pepperoni
-Dinner: Raspberries/Blackberries/Light Soy Milk/Whey Protein

-Total Cals: 1261
-Fat: 41
-Sat Fat: 9
-Carbs: 113
-Fiber: 22
-Protein: 110
-Water: 2.5 L

 

[Miss Ladybug]

I luv ya Sara!! Thanks for the rep!! Good Luck on your shopping, I hope you find a lot of GOOD Low Calorie stuff. Let me know if you come upon something new!! I gotta go also, I have so much to do and we are going to a friends house this evening. Chow sweets!!
Kim

 

[cym]

Hey, hope you're having a fun day. I love the pic of your grandma's pie...my grandmother made the best pies (and cakes) in the world too....super flaky crust 'cause they were about 99% lard LOL

 

[RhoRho]

I can't believe you posted a pic of that pie!! I'm only just keeping my weird cravings at bay and here you are tempting me! You!!!!

Seriously though, that pie sure does take some resisting! I totally understood when you said you were getting bored with food (like 5 pages back or something) - that's always my worst fear cos boredom makes me want to do something stupid. So far I haven't done anything I've felt guilty about but I live in perpetual fear that my willpower will slip *aarrgggh*. I'm glad you're on top of yours at the moment though..

Glad you enjoyed your time on the beach.. I feel a bit greedy by saying I wish I had a beach near me, so I'll be content with my woods and stuff... Still, can't help feeling a twinge..

How's the training going?

 

[Healthyhabit]

MMMmmmm... Apple pie..

My grandmother made an excellent apple pie when I was a little girl. I somehow remember there being a lot of sugar dumped into it, just like the pic you posted. It looks so delicious!

My father got me eating my apple pie with a little sharp cheddar... ever tried it? Its sinfully tasty. Its best with a slightly aged sharp cheddar. Tillamook or anything out of Vermont or Wisconsin would probably be best. I know I shouldn't be encouraging the eating of apple pie or cheese, but its just so good!

I love cheese...

- Sunny

 

[lukewarm]

Rimay I'm sorry I didn't see your post earlier! I totally hear you, there's no way in hell I'm putting myself in that situation. I swear food is my drug!

Kim Of course I hope you have a great time at your friend's tonight! I will certainly let you know if I find a really great recipe. I'm searching!

Cym Super flaky crusts...lol I know! It's sick that this stuff is so bad for us...grandmothers know how to make everything taste amazing.

Rho I'd actually trade you climates. My training is going well, I'm just about to send in my Sunday report to Leigh. Sorry for the pie pic!

Sunny I've never tried that, and it does sound odd, but I love cheese too and it'd probably be great. Let's hope that I'm skinny by the time I try it!

LOL so I'm sorry I posted this tempting picture you guys, it's totally on my mind now. I just dropped my sis back off at her house, she really loved her present, and I know when she fakes enthusiasm, so I was happy she was surprised. We took the progress pics and I'm about to send in my report to Leigh. I've collected a few recipes and made my ingredient list so although I don't think I'm going to go shopping tonight, I'm going to do it tomorrow. Oh I haven't lost any weight this week. I weigh 161. It's okay, I understand that I have to be patient. I expected it anyways, since I'm on the verge of the 150's and yall know I really want to hit 155 by the time the wedding rolls around (Aug. 11th). We will see!!! Anyways, I hope you all have a nice night

 

[Healthyhabit]

I can't wait to see the 150s either. I haven't seen those numbers in years. You'll make it to 155 in no time, I'm sure!

-Sunny

 

[lukewarm]

Sunny Thanks I appreciate the vote of confidence! I absolutely love your avatar...thanks for keeping me motivated

Today has been nice. I'm doing summer cleaning. It's storming outside and lovely. Hope you all have a beautiful day.

 

[maleficent]

My father got me eating my apple pie with a little sharp cheddar... ever tried it? Its sinfully tasty. Its best with a slightly aged sharp cheddar. Tillamook or anything out of Vermont or Wisconsin would probably be best. I know I shouldn't be encouraging the eating of apple pie or cheese, but its just so good!

It's gotta be a good aged cheddar, not the overly processed overly sodiumed low fat kraft variety the cheddar cheese that crumbles is the ultimate best and so good on apple pie

Everything in moderation

 

[Risty]

WOW, you look awesome! Thanks for telling me what page it was on.

That pie also looks awesome! MMM, pie.

Mal - I never would have even though about cheddar and apple pie - it doesn't sound like it would go together! I'd give anything a try though. Unfortunately pie and cheese = major calories, no needing to put the two together, lol.

 

[lukewarm]

Okay. I've been wondering what my deal is lately. I don't want to cook, I don't want to workout, I don't want to eat right. I feel myself about to slip. I know that's all I've been saying but I just want to say that I'm sick of wondering when I'm going to mess up. I know that I won't. I just read a good article that caught my eye on msn and here is a excerpt from it:

Many people report to me that as they're approaching their goal weight they often sabotage themselves and all of their efforts. They wonder why that is. It doesn't seem to make any sense. In fact, you may be able to relate to that experience.
The answer, time and again, proves to be simple: if you didn't have your weight to think about you might have to think about what's really bothering you, and that's very frightening, because I know that you feel powerless to change the things that really bother you.

I ALWAYS screw up when I'm on the verge of succeeding, and truthfully, there has NEVER been a time in my life when I wasn't obsessed with my weight, and I know that's a part of being human and insecure. But I don't have to feel this way...I can change my mindset. I may be conscious always but I'm spending enough time struggling physically trying to do well, I really need to 'workout' my mind some more. I need to realize that this is my body, whatever size it is, it's beautiful, and not 'beautiful in 5 months when I lose 30 lbs.' but beautiful RIGHT NOW! OKAY! I just finished a trio of paintings to go over my bed and I'm listening to good music and feeling MUCH better. Thanks for letting me rant!

 

[lukewarm]

Mal I really want it. Let's stop talking about pie

Risty Thank you Yes. Calories galore. I'm still going to try it someday

Cym I'm addressing you randomly. I didn't cook today. Tomorrow, I'll keep my promise.

Wednesday
-Lifting and 1650 cals

Food
-Breakfast: WW English Muffin/Nat PB & 2 oz. Cherries
-Snack: 7 Egg Whites
-Lunch: Veggie Soup/Egg Whites/Applesauce
-Dinner: Blackberries/Raspberries/Light Soy Milk/Whey Protein

-Total Cals: 1576
-Fat: 48
-Sat Fat: 7
-Carbs: 183
-Fiber: 33
-Protein: 103
-Water: 2.5 L

 

[lena410]

Okay. I've been wondering what my deal is lately. I don't want to cook, I don't want to workout, I don't want to eat right. I feel myself about to slip. I know that's all I've been saying but I just want to say that I'm sick of wondering when I'm going to mess up. I know that I won't. I just read a good article that caught my eye on msn and here is a excerpt from it:




I ALWAYS screw up when I'm on the verge of succeeding, and truthfully, there has NEVER been a time in my life when I wasn't obsessed with my weight, and I know that's a part of being human and insecure. But I don't have to feel this way...I can change my mindset. I may be conscious always but I'm spending enough time struggling physically trying to do well, I really need to 'workout' my mind some more. I need to realize that this is my body, whatever size it is, it's beautiful, and not 'beautiful in 5 months when I lose 30 lbs.' but beautiful RIGHT NOW! OKAY! I just finished a trio of paintings to go over my bed and I'm listening to good music and feeling MUCH better. Thanks for letting me rant!

ranting is good. very good and you should rant as often as you want

this was me last week. i knew from the moment i started with this last weight loss that i do sabotage myself because mostly i hide from from my past and from the world and secondly i'm scared i will fail so its easier to fail immidiately. and even if you are aware of it it sometimes sneaks up on you.

the truth is i would never be this good at weight loss if i didn't start working on things that caused me to gain weight in the first place. so i started writing about it and it felt so liberating. it is still liberating. because i know i'm not alone anymore and i'm not that little girl anymore. i need to let myself shine and that won't happen when i lose weight, that is happeing now while i'm losing weight because i'm dealing with my issues.

sorry this was more about me. are you aware of what is bothering you? did something happen for you to feel this way? try and think about it and write about it (not necessarily here if you don't want to). what helped me was to write a list why i want to lose weight and why i don't want to lose weight. that was my first post in my diary.

i know you won't give up. and these ups and downs are what's make us stronger

hugs,
Lena

 

[2Skinny]

Yep, I'm right there with Lena and can 100% relate to your "rant" Sara. Thanks for posting that link, I've saved it under my Favorites because I want to totally absorb it later. I love reading anything about emotional overeating.

One thing that occured to me back in your diary (and I mean NO disrespect to trainers whatsoever!), but I believe there is a time and a place for everything and I wonder if right now is a time for a regimented system in your life. The thing that occured to me is this might set you up for failure because it's external expectations versus the internal expectations that you have been building over the last several months. I highly encourage you to keep focusing on the internal because that's what will make lasting change in your lifestyle. I know for myself when I have too much structure, I completely rebel. It doesn't suit my personality. Whereas if I allow healthy habits to grow, while tolerating a few blips along the way, I tend to do better. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. But I suspect you are somewhat of an artistic temperament and therefore have a lot of intuition. Those types of people tend to struggle when too much structure is placed on them. Your path to weight loss is intuitively going along very nicely. You've cultivated great habits. While it's exciting to go on the fitness craze and go all out on every manner of exercise there is; cardio, weights, spinning, etc. what I find for myself is that there's a time for everything. Maybe you needed to explore all that stuff to pick and choose what's a good fit for YOU. Tailor made lifestyle plans that we develop for ourselves once we've tried different things on for size. And we can drop something now and pick it up later, it's no reflection of our commitment if we say hmmm, this isn't a good fit for me. You know yourself best, that's no lie!

I could be completely wrong, and maybe you're experiencing the self sabotaging syndrome. But it could also be a part of you rebelling against the structure. There are many paths to the same destination. I know if I try too hard to control every aspect and to be perfect, it backfires and I'll do 10 times the damage on a binge.

It's 3:00 am and I'm going on and on, so forgive me. My friend and her trainer have an interactive relationship whereby my friend can say what feels right and what doesn't and then they tailor from there (within reason). This makes her feel she has some control in the situation and is honoring what's real for her. When things are too prescriptive ... and there's no wiggle room, I panic, but that's me.

 

[lukewarm]

ranting is good. very good and you should rant as often as you want

this was me last week. i knew from the moment i started with this last weight loss that i do sabotage myself because mostly i hide from from my past and from the world and secondly i'm scared i will fail so its easier to fail immidiately. and even if you are aware of it it sometimes sneaks up on you.

the truth is i would never be this good at weight loss if i didn't start working on things that caused me to gain weight in the first place. so i started writing about it and it felt so liberating. it is still liberating. because i know i'm not alone anymore and i'm not that little girl anymore. i need to let myself shine and that won't happen when i lose weight, that is happeing now while i'm losing weight because i'm dealing with my issues.

sorry this was more about me. are you aware of what is bothering you? did something happen for you to feel this way? try and think about it and write about it (not necessarily here if you don't want to). what helped me was to write a list why i want to lose weight and why i don't want to lose weight. that was my first post in my diary.

i know you won't give up. and these ups and downs are what's make us stronger

hugs,
Lena

Thanks so much Lena. I'm happy that your post is about you, your experiences make it possible for you to relate to my situation, and it's reassuring to know that you struggle with a natural rebellious streak as well. It's a yin and yang I think, I am naturally optimistic and enthusiastic, but for all of my great intentions and hopes, I have an equally powerful urge to fail, and fall hard. I'm happy that writing works for you, I write occasionally, but I think it places a lot of pressure on people. At least for me, I can't let go and write freely probably in the way that you do. I think about what I'm going to write and agonize over words and stupid stuff like penmanship. I like surrealism and abstract art because it allows me to be unapologetic and fluid. There are no confines. I know why I want to succeed, I'm trying to figure out why I DON'T want to succeed. Is it so that I can have something to constantly worry about? Is it because I've stressed about my weight for so long that if by losing weight I will have lost my lagging insecurities, and therefore I'll have to focus on REALITY and other people? I don't know but your response has prompted me to find out. THANK YOU!

 

[lukewarm]

Yep, I'm right there with Lena and can 100% relate to your "rant" Sara. Thanks for posting that link, I've saved it under my Favorites because I want to totally absorb it later. I love reading anything about emotional overeating.

One thing that occured to me back in your diary (and I mean NO disrespect to trainers whatsoever!), but I believe there is a time and a place for everything and I wonder if right now is a time for a regimented system in your life. The thing that occured to me is this might set you up for failure because it's external expectations versus the internal expectations that you have been building over the last several months. I highly encourage you to keep focusing on the internal because that's what will make lasting change in your lifestyle. I know for myself when I have too much structure, I completely rebel. It doesn't suit my personality. Whereas if I allow healthy habits to grow, while tolerating a few blips along the way, I tend to do better. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. But I suspect you are somewhat of an artistic temperament and therefore have a lot of intuition. Those types of people tend to struggle when too much structure is placed on them. Your path to weight loss is intuitively going along very nicely. You've cultivated great habits. While it's exciting to go on the fitness craze and go all out on every manner of exercise there is; cardio, weights, spinning, etc. what I find for myself is that there's a time for everything. Maybe you needed to explore all that stuff to pick and choose what's a good fit for YOU. Tailor made lifestyle plans that we develop for ourselves once we've tried different things on for size. And we can drop something now and pick it up later, it's no reflection of our commitment if we say hmmm, this isn't a good fit for me. You know yourself best, that's no lie!

I could be completely wrong, and maybe you're experiencing the self sabotaging syndrome. But it could also be a part of you rebelling against the structure. There are many paths to the same destination. I know if I try too hard to control every aspect and to be perfect, it backfires and I'll do 10 times the damage on a binge.

It's 3:00 am and I'm going on and on, so forgive me. My friend and her trainer have an interactive relationship whereby my friend can say what feels right and what doesn't and then they tailor from there (within reason). This makes her feel she has some control in the situation and is honoring what's real for her. When things are too prescriptive ... and there's no wiggle room, I panic, but that's me.

Gosh I feel like you just get me? I wondered if maybe this has something to do with the fact that I feel a little bit of pressure now that I have this wonderful opportunity with Leigh. I am so GRATEFUL for it, and I'm still happy I'm doing it, but I absolutely understand what you're saying and you're right, I don't understand how you knew that, but you did. I have only just realized in the past year that I have to stop saying I will do something. When it comes to relationships, work, school, exercise, life in general, I have tried hard to stop promising I'll participate or offer up some part of myself. I often have great intentions, and want to call that person, I want to pick up that shift for that person, I want to go to the gym today, I want to START COOKING, but once I start saying I'll do things...that is the moment I don't do them. I can't tell you how many friends/boyfriends that have gotten angry with me time and time again because they don't understand why I don't call when I say I will, or why I say I'll do something and then back away. The thing is I don't even realize why I do it, but sometimes I can't help it. I just fall back on the excuse that I'm a selfish person. BUT I'M NOT!!! I don't want to be at least. I have been looking around Pensacola for volunteer opportunities because I think that will help me to help myself while also helping others. I'm not going to feel pressured since I just said that, but I sort of do. I really am fighting against this structure, I took 5 sleeping pills the other night, and felt crazy I was so exhausted, but I still couldn't sleep, I swear I just don't want to do what I'm supposed to do. I'm such a child.

 

[2Skinny]

It's called having an artistic temperament. Have you ever seen that adorable movie Haiku Tunnel? It's about a guy who works as a temp in various offices because the structure of committing to one full time job scares the bejeezus out of him. At the very end of the movie a boss offers him full time even though he's screwed up in every imaginable fashion (it's hilarious!) and he says really? You wanna hire me? Why? I'm such a screw up? And the boss says, no you're not, you just have an artistic temperament. LOL

I think the greatest thing we can do in life is know ourselves and accept ourselves. Doesn't mean you can't have goals and commit to them, of course you can, but the way in which you reach those goals probably just need some wiggle room and self-acceptance. It's nothing to do with maturity. Just balance. And that's something we all learn at every single age we are at. People who are idealistic are incredibly generous, expressive, compassionate and intelligent. The world would be tragically boring if it was filled with folks who were real good at structure. tee hee

 

[lukewarm]

It's called having an artistic temperament. Have you ever seen that adorable movie Haiku Tunnel? It's about a guy who works as a temp in various offices because the structure of committing to one full time job scares the bejeezus out of him. At the very end of the movie a boss offers him full time even though he's screwed up in every imaginable fashion (it's hilarious!) and he says really? You wanna hire me? Why? I'm such a screw up? And the boss says, no you're not, you just have an artistic temperament. LOL

I think the greatest thing we can do in life is know ourselves and accept ourselves. Doesn't mean you can't have goals and commit to them, of course you can, but the way in which you reach those goals probably just need some wiggle room and self-acceptance. It's nothing to do with maturity. Just balance. And that's something we all learn at every single age we are at. People who are idealistic are incredibly generous, expressive, compassionate and intelligent. The world would be tragically boring if it was filled with folks who were real good at structure. tee hee

I have never considered this. I don’t think I’ve ever thought that maybe something isn’t necessarily wrong with me, it could be that it is simply the way I am. I feel as though I’ve been diagnosed haha! It’s nice to know that it isn’t that I’m lazy or selfish. I am thinking about this, and thank you very much Anna. I am glad to know that you share the same temperament, and that you panic as well when faced with boundaries/restrictions/expectations. Also I want to watch that movie! It sounds great! It sounds like a friend of mine actually haha

 

[Blancita]

I am laughing here because two of the most disciplined people on here are talking about not following through with things. Are you kidding me? Just look at my diary and how I stick to being strict for about 3 days max, before I'm gaining back what I lost and starting from scratch. I only wish I had the follow through that you've exhibited Sara (and Anna for that matter). I do worry that you are a bit TOO hard on yourself much of the time, as when you were eating 1200 calories per day while spinning hours per week. Maybe the good you can take from my method (and there's little good to take but there's some) is that by allowing myself to do what I want sometimes has enabled me to avoid becoming more than 10 pounds overweight my whole life, despite my love of eating and my huge appetite. I didn't get overweight til I got pregnant, yet I've always had to watch my weight lest I gain immediately. So while the all or nothing approach can work in the short term, it may not be best suited for the long term because at some point its hard to keep it all up and then you may go the opposite route of "all or nothing" (meaning the "all" part). Forgive the early morning rant, I've been up since 5am.

Not to harp on this sweetie, but 5 sleeping pills sounds very very dangerous. I know you have sleeping problems as do I, we are both posting around 5am to 6am, so I feel your pain but do be careful with the sleeping pills .