Lukewarm's Weight Loss Diary

Blancita said:
I am laughing here because two of the most disciplined people on here are talking about not following through with things. Are you kidding me? Just look at my diary and how I stick to being strict for about 3 days max, before I'm gaining back what I lost and starting from scratch. I only wish I had the follow through that you've exhibited Sara (and Anna for that matter). I do worry that you are a bit TOO hard on yourself much of the time, as when you were eating 1200 calories per day while spinning hours per week. Maybe the good you can take from my method (and there's little good to take but there's some) is that by allowing myself to do what I want sometimes has enabled me to avoid becoming more than 10 pounds overweight my whole life, despite my love of eating and my huge appetite. I didn't get overweight til I got pregnant, yet I've always had to watch my weight lest I gain immediately. So while the all or nothing approach can work in the short term, it may not be best suited for the long term because at some point its hard to keep it all up and then you may go the opposite route of "all or nothing" (meaning the "all" part). Forgive the early morning rant, I've been up since 5am.

Not to harp on this sweetie, but 5 sleeping pills sounds very very dangerous. I know you have sleeping problems as do I, we are both posting around 5am to 6am, so I feel your pain but do be careful with the sleeping pills :).
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First of all, there is plenty of good to take from your method. In fact, I think that your method lies far more within my own preference of doing things, I like organized chaos (not that your method is chaos ;)) but I'm being very structured. Which is a bizarre experience for me! I'm curious to see how my pattern changes as I get closer and closer to my goal. I have a feeling that I'm doing things a bit backwards, obsessing too early and therefore making it possible for me to burn out more quickly, but I am aware and I am taking care of my head as I go along, so I will be able to sustain this. I absolutely agree with you. I am going to try and chill a little bit more, but remain on track. Second, you're totally right, 5 sleeping pills is ridiculous and dangerous, I don't usually take that many and I won't do it again. I noticed that you, Anna, and I always post around the same time in the mornings often, how funny that we all have issues with sleep. It's so frustrating.
 
I noticed that you, Anna, and I always post around the same time in the mornings often, how funny that we all have issues with sleep. It's so frustrating.
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We need an insomniacs club or something :) and just post really boring stuff and soon everyon will be asleep at the keyboard
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
Mal I've always thought that you just have a fabulous responsible schedule where you LIKE to wake up really early! I didn't realize you had trouble sleeping too :rotflmao: We totally need an insomniacs club. It's not like supporting it will change anything. If a million sleeping pills can't make me sleep then I better have something to do!
 
I think the sky is about to fall, cos Sara! of all people is thinking about rebelling! Rock on!! (kidding!!)

I understand what you mean, I really do. That's what makes this whole process so scary. You have the power to change yourself, your life in your own hands, and sometimes recognition of that power makes you want to scream and run in the other direction. I've been feeling that way for a few days now, but I'm hoping it's because of hormonal changes, and isn't permanent. This is something we both want to do. More than anything else.

I think 2Skinny is right in terms of wiggle room. I think it's the reason I try not to obsess about how many calories I'm taking in (even though I still end up doing just that). Yours is a hectic schedule - you're not only being extremely careful about your food, but also about your exercise. This is a double wall (if you will) that you're sort of hemmed up against.. It's normal to feel like rebelling, striking out, just wanting to get away from all that planning and structure and commitment.

I think it was really sweet of you to actually say how you were feeling, cos you know you're not alone in your thinking, and hopefully by recognising these symptoms within yourself you're better able to handle them.

I used to have problems sleeping too, and that also coincided with my first attempt at weight loss. There were other things worrying me (such as my relationship with my then-boyfriend), but I just didn't think about it, but I suffered for months, not being able to sleep. At the same time I could see my body changing (thanks to dieting and exercise), but as I got closer to my goal I just stopped. I couldn't handle the change. Even though I wanted to feel and look sexy I didn't feel I was ready to feel and look sexy, and so began my slow, long journey back into obesity. It pains me that I let myself go like that, and all because of fear. This is what I'm hoping to fix this time. It's not just about changing your body - it's also changing your mental attitude about your body, and this is a lot more difficult than the already difficult dieting and exercise.

I'm speaking to myself just as much as I'm speaking to you, because even though I think this, it's good to see things written down, to serve as a reminder. You are a young, strong woman. There is absolutely no reason why you can't succeed. Acknowledge the fear, taste it, savour it. But then remember your motivation for going on this journey and set the next goal for yourself. Mini goals might well reduce the pressure on yourself, but then you do that already (so I guess that suggestion is for me).

Oh Sara, I'm real glad you brought this up. I KNOW you can succeed - you've done brilliantly thus far.

Are you feeling more up to it today?
 
RhoRho said:
I understand what you mean, I really do. That's what makes this whole process so scary. You have the power to change yourself, your life in your own hands, and sometimes recognition of that power makes you want to scream and run in the other direction. I've been feeling that way for a few days now, but I'm hoping it's because of hormonal changes, and isn't permanent.
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You know, I've never taken the hormone thing too seriously until I studied more in depth in bio and anatomy and stuff, but I've been thinking about it lately...perhaps I don't respect hormones enough. I think part of Leigh's goal is to stabilize or regulate hormone levels through an efficient diet/exercise program, and maybe once we're a bit more leveled out these desperate feelings will be a little bit more manageable. I' am paying strict attention to my body at all times lately, so I'm curious to see if down the road I feel any more at peace with my body. In every manner.
I think 2Skinny is right in terms of wiggle room. I think it's the reason I try not to obsess about how many calories I'm taking in (even though I still end up doing just that). Yours is a hectic schedule - you're not only being extremely careful about your food, but also about your exercise. This is a double wall (if you will) that you're sort of hemmed up against.. It's normal to feel like rebelling, striking out, just wanting to get away from all that planning and structure and commitment.
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It's so funny, because I'm very all or nothing. I am feeling a serious pinch, but I'm doing an alright job of counteracting it by spending some personal time doing things I enjoy, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to be able to talk about everything here. I feel incredibly relieved, I just realized that I've had a perpetual frown on my face since last night, and it's only just eased! :rotflmao: Yo lighten up Sara!
Acknowledge the fear, taste it, savour it. But then remember your motivation for going on this journey and set the next goal for yourself. Mini goals might well reduce the pressure on yourself, but then you do that already (so I guess that suggestion is for me).
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You're right, I do have the strength to go forward while acknowledging the part of me that wants to keep failing. It's like that Madonna song "It's easy to be lazy, and hard to go away from the crowd" haha ohhh Madonna...I feel amazing at the moment. Relaxed, looking forward to the day. Thanks everyone so much!

Tuesday
-Spinning & 1450 calories

Food
-Breakfast: Oatmeal w/ Raspberries
-Lunch:
-Dinner:
-Snack:

-Total Cals:
-Fat:
-Sat Fat:
-Carbs:
-Fiber:
-Protein:
-Water: 0.5 L
 
Well done lady! One step at a time. I'm off to the gym now for my gruelling workout, so I'll catch up later. Go Sara! :)
 
WOW, did I miss a lot or WHAT??? Insomnia, been there done that and got the t-shirt about 10 years ago. My saving grace, GET THE STRESS OUT! Yep, I had to much stress in my life then, not to say I don't have any now, it was just USELESS and HARD Stress, stuff that makes you think about it day and night, stuff you can't control. It finally went away when I moved closer to my family and began a job in which I LOVE! I still have the stress of bills, kids, health, NORMAL stuff, but that is everyday stuff that can be handled. Maybe you just have to much USELESS stress that you need to tend to. I'm only suggesting of course, what works for some, may not work for others, this I know. I have to agree with Cita that 5 sleeping pills is a little much. But I know you already know that, and won't do that again. OUCH!! Have you ever tried one of those Noise machines, they are small and can sit on your night stand, they play different soothing sounds, like the ocean, real mild thunder/lighting storm type stuff. Maybe, that and mix in a little aroma therapy candle or scents might help. Maybe your working out so hard your adrenaline is still pumping at 10 at night like mine does, it takes me a lot longer to shut down now that I workout at until 7:30 most nights. I sure hope you find something soon that will help you through this. Your doing sooooo good, I'm very proud of you!! Keep it up.
Kim
 
lukewarm said:
Okay. I've been wondering what my deal is lately. I don't want to cook, I don't want to workout, I don't want to eat right. I feel myself about to slip.

I ALWAYS screw up when I'm on the verge of succeeding, and truthfully, there has NEVER been a time in my life when I wasn't obsessed with my weight, and I know that's a part of being human and insecure. But I don't have to feel this way...I can change my mindset. I may be conscious always but I'm spending enough time struggling physically trying to do well, I really need to 'workout' my mind some more.
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We all know how you feel!! You're right about the mindset!

To be honest, when I was down to 137 (I'm 5'7" so I thought that was pretty pimp) in April I was absolutely thrilled. Now that I've gained weight, and am tired, stressed, bummed about sleeping alone soon, looking for a room, and working 58 hours a week, it is hard to stay focused on health in mind and spirit, let alone body. We'll help each other!! And I totally feel you on self-sabotage--I'm gaining and I need to stop that. It's the wine and beer!! Damn summer!!

lukewarm said:
but for all of my great intentions and hopes, I have an equally powerful urge to fail, and fall hard.

I like surrealism and abstract art because it allows me to be unapologetic and fluid. There are no confines. I know why I want to succeed, I'm trying to figure out why I DON'T want to succeed. Is it so that I can have something to constantly worry about? Is it because I've stressed about my weight for so long that if by losing weight I will have lost my lagging insecurities, and therefore I'll have to focus on REALITY and other people? I don't know but your response has prompted me to find out. THANK YOU!
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You are so cool! Please marry me, we'll have a domestic partnership, it's pretty much ok in my state, LOL! :rotflmao:

Those questions are heavy. Your heart knows the answer. Us women are drama queens sometimes. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I like harship because when things are good for too long I get bored, like, "something happen already!!" Me losing weight over the past months (ugh, now gaining) was something to do, something to be concerned over. But I really wish you peace of mind!!! You'll find it, you are such a wonderful person! :hug2:

lukewarm said:
You know, I've never taken the hormone thing too seriously until I studied more in depth in bio and anatomy and stuff, but I've been thinking about it lately...perhaps I don't respect hormones enough. I think part of Leigh's goal is to stabilize or regulate hormone levels through an efficient diet/exercise program, and maybe once we're a bit more leveled out these desperate feelings will be a little bit more manageable.
Click to expand...

My experience: when I had more bodyfat I was even more emotionally unstable than I am now--but I also had bodyimage to deal with. Now, even though I'm heavier than I was a few months ago, I'm still relatively lean and even though I'm going through hard times, I can tell the difference! But it could be other things, I have no way of knowing--no way of doing a "control" group or anything! One thing for sure: my tits used to get big and swollen with PMS--and I suffered more cramps and such. Now my periods still suck, but my tits don't do anything anymore and cramps aren't that bad.
 
hey there,

I've been reading the posts on the insomnia, so I thought I'd add in what happened to me when I started losing weight. My life was in total upheaval after splitting up with my boyfriend, moving to a new place, discovering I was really unhappy with a lot of things in my life, etc. I worked 3 jobs and went to school. I thought I should have been tired enough by the end of the day to just crash out, but I never was.

I ended up going to the doc over sleep problems. I was getting to bed around 2am and lying there until morning, sometimes not sleeping at all. So he prescribed Ambien (scary stuff by the way.) I tried taking them and they made me feel a little funny when I woke up, like the world was still distant. I think I probably seemed something like a zombie from the outside view. I didn't think the doc had prescribed what I needed at that point. So if you're not going to talk to your doctor, who do you talk to? Your mother! :D

So I phoned my mom and she told me when she was my age she had terrible sleep problems. They followed her all the way into her 40's, by which point she discovered she was having melatonin problems. As it turned out, the secretion of melatonin wasn't peaking until around 4-5am for her, while it should have been between 9-10pm. So on a whim, she suggested I pick up some melatonin pills at any vitamin shop and take them about an hour before bed. It worked like a charm. I started sleeping like a baby at night and waking up feeling rested.

I've seen lots of studies that suggest stress can inhibit the secretion of melatonin from the pineal gland. Also, there's some talk of how much artificial light plays into our sleeping patterns, primarily light from a computer monitor. Interesting stuff.

Sorry you all have been having sleep problems. I know its awful. :(

lukewarm, thank you for your support in my diary. It really helped to have people telling me to slow down and chill out. I don't know why I got so stressed. Thank you!!

- Sunny
 
Seems like we all have sleep problems on here, Sunny!

Sara, your are worse than mine--because mine are from partying. it's all my fault!
 
Hey Sara! I hope by the time you are reading this you are feeling better.

The trouble sleeping thing is odd because, member of the club here. It's one (other than the heat) of the reasons I run so early...I'm up anyway.

I guess most, if not every single one of us, can totally relate to what you are saying...I think it goes deeper than simple "motivation"...there comes a point when you are questioning yourself. For me it was along the lines of "if I'm not the fat girl, who will I be?" "If I can't eat when I'm bored/sad/afraid/lonely/stresed...what will I do instead?" And I didn't know. And all the things I didn't like about my life that I blamed on my weight...well, without the weight wouldn't I be forced to deal with those as well? And no comfort eating in sight? Scary, scary, scary.

As much a I disliked (hated and despised even) the body I was in - it was familar and comfortable and I knew how to live with it...the other was as scary as it was desireable. I mean for a while I couldn't even buy new clothes without having mini-freakouts simply because I didn't "know" the girl I was buying them for.

I think it's great that you are questioning things and looking deep inside for answers. I think there are periods when all of us (although I shouldn't speak for anyone else obviously) engage in a bit of self-sabbatoge during the weight loss process...we do little or big things that undermine our progress and delay reaching our goals. I think it's only partly about the food/exercise...and a lot to do with fear of change and the unknown...like "what if I do all this work and am still unhappy with the "end result?""

There was a point when I asked exactly what you're asking "Do I do this in other areas of my life as well"....and you know what? the answer for me was "yes, I do". Just like I might procrastinate doing something regarding my weight loss, I would get a traffic ticket and procrastinate paying it, even though I had the money, until a little fine became a great big fine and it was a sudden rush to pay it before my lics. was suspended - really stupid stuff like that.

The only thing I can offer you from experience is that it finally occurred to me that simply allowing myself to gain so much weight in the first place was just one example of the basic fact that I was just not as "good" at taking care of myself as I should have been...in other words, being overweight did not exist in a vacuum and only by making first an honest, on going self-exploration, and then a dedicated (sometimes painful) effort to dealing with life sans the refuge of food did the weight loss process itself get easier.

So my 2 cents.....it's not a Sunday walk in the park, sometimes the crap you dredge out of your psyche and the stuff you learn about yourself along the way is like opening Pandora's box and can be more painful than all the calorie restriction and exercise combined...and you don't/won't/can't know whether it's going to be worth it all until you've already done it. But, Sara, I swear I think it is.
 
Originally Posted by cym

I guess most, if not every single one of us, can totally relate to what you are saying...I think it goes deeper than simple "motivation"...there comes a point when you are questioning yourself. For me it was along the lines of "if I'm not the fat girl, who will I be?" "If I can't eat when I'm bored/sad/afraid/lonely/stresed...what will I do instead?" And I didn't know. And all the things I didn't like about my life that I blamed on my weight...well, without the weight wouldn't I be forced to deal with those as well? And no comfort eating in sight? Scary, scary, scary.
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Following on from what I was saying, I think cym's response is spot on, cos I identify with it totally! I didn't quite know how to express myself, but cym's done it for me... As much as I despise being 'the fat one', I keep thinking 'Who will I be when I finally get slim?'. I guess this is part of the hidden battle we face, not just to control our eating habits and exercise, but also our inner minds. It'll be good to explore that together.. It really is great to know one is not alone, and others understand what you're going through :)

I hope you're having a lovely evening. I'm off to bed now..
 
Following on from what I was saying, I think cym's response is spot on, cos I identify with it totally! I didn't quite know how to express myself, but cym's done it for me... As much as I despise being 'the fat one', I keep thinking 'Who will I be when I finally get slim?'. I guess this is part of the hidden battle we face, not just to control our eating habits and exercise, but also our inner minds. It'll be good to explore that together.. It really is great to know one is not alone, and others understand what you're going through
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Rho I agree wholeheartedly. I love hearing the perspectives of those that have lose their weight and those that are still trying to do so. It’s is fascinating to explore this together. I really don’t know how it will feel to be on the other side of weight loss and working on maintenance. I can’t comprehend it at this point. I look forward to struggling with maintenance. Thank you for being with me every step of the way.

Insomnia, been there done that and got the t-shirt about 10 years ago. My saving grace, GET THE STRESS OUT! Yep, I had to much stress in my life then, not to say I don't have any now, it was just USELESS and HARD Stress, stuff that makes you think about it day and night, stuff you can't control. It finally went away when I moved closer to my family and began a job in which I LOVE! Have you ever tried one of those Noise machines, they are small and can sit on your night stand, they play different soothing sounds, like the ocean, real mild thunder/lighting storm type stuff. Maybe, that and mix in a little aroma therapy candle or scents might help. Maybe your working out so hard your adrenaline is still pumping at 10 at night like mine does, it takes me a lot longer to shut down now that I workout at until 7:30 most nights. I sure hope you find something soon that will help you through this.
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Kim I’m happy you were able to put that unneeded stress behind you and that you’re able to focus on more important aspects of life. I have elimanted most of the major stressors in my life and I agree that it was the best thing I could have done for myself. The aromatherapy sounds lovely, I think that is something I could totally get into. Thank you!

We all know how you feel!! You're right about the mindset! To be honest, when I was down to 137 (I'm 5'7" so I thought that was pretty pimp) in April I was absolutely thrilled. Now that I've gained weight, and am tired, stressed, bummed about sleeping alone soon, looking for a room, and working 58 hours a week, it is hard to stay focused on health in mind and spirit, let alone body. We'll help each other!! And I totally feel you on self-sabotage--I'm gaining and I need to stop that. It's the wine and beer!! Damn summer!! You are so cool! Please marry me, we'll have a domestic partnership, it's pretty much ok in my state, LOL! Those questions are heavy. Your heart knows the answer. Us women are drama queens sometimes. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I like harship because when things are good for too long I get bored, like, "something happen already!!" Me losing weight over the past months (ugh, now gaining) was something to do, something to be concerned over. But I really wish you peace of mind!!! You'll find it, you are such a wonderful person! My experience: when I had more bodyfat I was even more emotionally unstable than I am now--but I also had bodyimage to deal with. Now, even though I'm heavier than I was a few months ago, I'm still relatively lean and even though I'm going through hard times, I can tell the difference! But it could be other things, I have no way of knowing--no way of doing a "control" group or anything! One thing for sure: my tits used to get big and swollen with PMS--and I suffered more cramps and such. Now my periods still suck, but my tits don't do anything anymore and cramps aren't that bad.Seems like we all have sleep problems on here, Sunny! Sara, your are worse than mine--because mine are from partying. it's all my fault!
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Val I DO! ;) You are so sweet though, I feel terrible that you still have so much stress and that you work so hard. I wish YOU peace of mind. When I think of how well you take care of yourself it makes me want to do everything right, I also agree that we’re dramatic. I love the passion that goes along with the drama though, I wouldn’t want to be any other way. I know what you mean about the periods, though I’ve never been regular. I’ve had my period 2 months in a row, which I believe is due to this healthy lifestyle. Also, you know how to enjoy your life, compromise is a wonderful thing that you are great correctly and push yourself through exercise, so if partying is how you reward yourself sometimes, that is GREAT! I love that you take your fun seriously!
I've been reading the posts on the insomnia, so I thought I'd add in what happened to me when I started losing weight. My life was in total upheaval after splitting up with my boyfriend, moving to a new place, discovering I was really unhappy with a lot of things in my life, etc. I worked 3 jobs and went to school. I thought I should have been tired enough by the end of the day to just crash out, but I never was. I ended up going to the doc over sleep problems. I was getting to bed around 2am and lying there until morning, sometimes not sleeping at all. So he prescribed Ambien (scary stuff by the way.) I tried taking them and they made me feel a little funny when I woke up, like the world was still distant. I think I probably seemed something like a zombie from the outside view. I didn't think the doc had prescribed what I needed at that point. So if you're not going to talk to your doctor, who do you talk to? Your mother! So I phoned my mom and she told me when she was my age she had terrible sleep problems. They followed her all the way into her 40's, by which point she discovered she was having melatonin problems. As it turned out, the secretion of melatonin wasn't peaking until around 4-5am for her, while it should have been between 9-10pm. So on a whim, she suggested I pick up some melatonin pills at any vitamin shop and take them about an hour before bed. It worked like a charm. I started sleeping like a baby at night and waking up feeling rested. I've seen lots of studies that suggest stress can inhibit the secretion of melatonin from the pineal gland. Also, there's some talk of how much artificial light plays into our sleeping patterns, primarily light from a computer monitor. Interesting stuff. lukewarm, thank you for your support in my diary. It really helped to have people telling me to slow down and chill out. I don't know why I got so stressed. Thank you!!
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Sunny you are welcome and thank you as well. I must say that I agree melatonin works very well, though I’m trying to ween myself off of the pills, mainly because I fear that by taking even a natural sleep medication like melatonin will prevent my body from producing it’s own hormones. If I take the pills, my body will think I don’t need need my own reserve. That could be entirely wrong but I do know that melatonin is better than my serious sleeping pills. My mom has real issues with sleep but she is getting a little bit better. She was anorexic for a very long time and has always dealt with sleep patterns/messed up periods. She’s way healthy now though, she still has her six-pack. Yes my 45 y.o. mom.
 
The trouble sleeping thing is odd because, member of the club here. It's one (other than the heat) of the reasons I run so early...I'm up anyway. guess most, if not every single one of us, can totally relate to what you are saying...I think it goes deeper than simple "motivation"...there comes a point when you are questioning yourself. For me it was along the lines of "if I'm not the fat girl, who will I be?" "If I can't eat when I'm bored/sad/afraid/lonely/stresed...what will I do instead?" And I didn't know. And all the things I didn't like about my life that I blamed on my weight...well, without the weight wouldn't I be forced to deal with those as well? And no comfort eating in sight? Scary, scary, scary. s much a I disliked (hated and despised even) the body I was in - it was familar and comfortable and I knew how to live with it...the other was as scary as it was desireable. I mean for a while I couldn't even buy new clothes without having mini-freakouts simply because I didn't "know" the girl I was buying them for. I think it's great that you are questioning things and looking deep inside for answers. I think there are periods when all of us (although I shouldn't speak for anyone else obviously) engage in a bit of self-sabbatoge during the weight loss process...we do little or big things that undermine our progress and delay reaching our goals. I think it's only partly about the food/exercise...and a lot to do with fear of change and the unknown...like "what if I do all this work and am still unhappy with the "end result?"" There was a point when I asked exactly what you're asking "Do I do this in other areas of my life as well"....and you know what? the answer for me was "yes, I do". Just like I might procrastinate doing something regarding my weight loss, I would get a traffic ticket and procrastinate paying it, even though I had the money, until a little fine became a great big fine and it was a sudden rush to pay it before my lics. was suspended - really stupid stuff like that. The only thing I can offer you from experience is that it finally occurred to me that simply allowing myself to gain so much weight in the first place was just one example of the basic fact that I was just not as "good" at taking care of myself as I should have been...in other words, being overweight did not exist in a vacuum and only by making first an honest, on going self-exploration, and then a dedicated (sometimes painful) effort to dealing with life sans the refuge of food did the weight loss process itself get easier. So my 2 cents.....it's not a Sunday walk in the park, sometimes the crap you dredge out of your psyche and the stuff you learn about yourself along the way is like opening Pandora's box and can be more painful than all the calorie restriction and exercise combined...and you don't/won't/can't know whether it's going to be worth it all until you've already done it. But, Sara, I swear I think it is.
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Cym what a wonderful post. Gosh I’m the same way. I procrastinate on speeding tickets, and everything else I could possibly procrastinate on. Thank you so much for your support. I DO feel like Pandora’s box of insecurities has been opened and I’m now dealing with the onslaught of emotions. I also started my period today. I think that may have played a part in my nagging issues, but I know that this isn’t pms rage, I really am here to figure out my head and I think this is harder than physical exercise. I don’t know what it’s going to feel like to be confident in my body and mindset, but I love your last comment. I know that this is worth it, and I’m grateful I have all of you to remind me that this will make us stronger. Thanks girl.

I can’t tell you enough how much all of your words and experiences mean to me. I have done so much thinking today. In my spin class a few hours ago I felt a rush. I think it is similar to what runners describe as their high? Not that spinning was the basis for the rush I felt, but just exerting myself and feeling the music and the energy of those around me made me feel alive and beautiful. All of your posts resonated for me. I feel so much more at ease now. I went grocery shopping tonight and I swear I feel relieved. I love it that I don’t go down the chip aisle, the snack and cereal aisles. I talked to my mom today after what Anna said and I discussed the fact that it’s possible I do simply like to rebel against structure. We talked for a little bit and she asked if I plan on accepting the fact that I hurt people sometimes because of my tendencies. I do accept that, but now that I know myself a little better, it will be possible to acknowledge my weakness regarding commitment of any form and strive to become more reliable and honest. I’m exhausted and I still have to post my food, but THANK YOU EVERYONE! I want to say more but I simply can’t remember what else I wanted to say. Have a beautiful night everyone. I want to check diaries but I'm so tired, in fact I'm NOT going to post my food, but I promise it was about 1400 calories.
 
i so relate to what you're saying. whenever i have these days when i just don't feel like going but not like quitting either and just nee da little push, just coming here on the forum and seeing people have similar experiences and that i am normal to feel this and that helps big time...there were so mayn times when i didn't want to workout and someone would say i felt like that too but go and try you just might feel better i know i did, and they would be right. i completely know that feeling when you're at the gym and suddenly feel this positive rush like you can do anything. god bless exercise :D its the best antidepressant in the world :D
 
Lena I totally agree! God I love exercise, I can't believe how much better I feel. It's absolutely motivating seeing the work that other people around here do.

Dude I'm happy we had so much to think about yesterday but I'm all up for just being mellow today! My friend has a disaster with her bridesmaid dress- they ordered it 4 sizes too small :eek: I have the opposite issue in that I sent them my measurements 2 months ago- when I weighed 176. It's no problem taking it in but I'm grateful that I don't have to deal with that mess of having a dress that's too small. Here's a pic of it. I'm sort of disappointed because it looks like a prom dress but it's pretty. I hate that damn bow in the back though. It looks like strings of putty. Maybe she'll let me take them all off.

Okay! I'm playing tennis with Chels tonight and I'm about to go and cook with one of the recipes I found the other day. I have lots of questions to post in the recipe section however because I don't know what to do with 1) ginger root- it looks like a bland piece of coral & 2) what is the best way to open up a pineapple. I'm scared! I don't wanna ruin it! Have a beautiful day everyone!

Wednesday
-Step-ups w/ DB - 2x15 20 lb. DB
-Side lunges - 2x15 20 lb. DB
-Standing alternate DB curls - 2x20 10lb. DB
-Pullovers - 2x15 15lb. DB
-Overhead DB press - 2x15 20lb. DB
-Face pulls - 2x15 20lb. DB
-Planks - 3x60
-1650 cals

Food
-Breakfast: Oatmeal Raspberries Cherries
-Snack: Grapes Egg Whites
-Lunch: WW English Muffin Nat PB
-Dinner: Raspberries Blackberries Whey Protein Light Soy Milk
-Snack: Turkey Pepperoni

-Total Cals: 1554
-Fat: 38
-Sat Fat: 8
-Carbs: 137
-Fiber: 27
-Protein: 116
-Water: 3.0 L
 
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Wow Sara, the dress is beautiful!! I wasn't expecting that cos I've been to too many weddings where the bridesmaids look really naff compared to the bride, but this is a beautiful dress, bow and all. I think the bow makes it look a little less like an ordinary dress, but then that's me. I love emphasising my smaller waist every chance I get!

It's great news that you're having to take yours in. It shows your hard work is paying off! I feel sorry for the girl whose dress is 4 sizes too small. How did that happen?!
 
Rho 'naff' < is it a British term!? I love it! haha yeah it is a nice dress, my bf has good taste :) I like the silver beading at the waistline as well, but the bow with those strings in the back just seem silly to me. But I can't complain, you're right that it is better than a lot of bridesmaid dresses. I don't know how they screwed up but this girl is 5'8 and wouldn't fit into a size 7 dress simply because of her bone structure. She needs a 12, and they just ordered a 7/8 for some unknown reason. Shitty right?
 
lukewarm said:
Val I DO! ;) You are so sweet though, I feel terrible that you still have so much stress and that you work so hard. I wish YOU peace of mind. When I think of how well you take care of yourself it makes me want to do everything right, I also agree that we’re dramatic. I love the passion that goes along with the drama though, I wouldn’t want to be any other way. I know what you mean about the periods, though I’ve never been regular. I’ve had my period 2 months in a row, which I believe is due to this healthy lifestyle. Also, you know how to enjoy your life, compromise is a wonderful thing that you are great correctly and push yourself through exercise, so if partying is how you reward yourself sometimes, that is GREAT! I love that you take your fun seriously!
Click to expand...

"I love the passion, wouldn't want it any other way" LOL Hell yeah, sister! :rotflmao: No, thank you, I just found a room to live in, moving in the last week of this month, and everything is peachy!!! Well, I mean there goes the worry our of my mind and I feel like the adjustment will be ok too. I'll take it as it comes.

Thanks for the compliments, LOL!!

Nice dress! Yeah that bow is a little weird.

I hope your emotions will smooth out soon--mine just recently did and I'm grateful for that, sheesh!! I was like, crying every night for a while there......
 
I would have to say that as far as bridesmaid dresses go, this one by far is the best I've seen in years!! I like the top part, how cute! I bet you are going to look fantastic in this. I better see a picture of you in it too!!! All dolled up! AHHH How cute!! You may have to end up taking it in even further by the rate your going down in size, WOW, you are doing so good! Any more beach time in the future!! I would be there all the time if I lived close enough to get to one. Enjoy your evening!! Oh and on the pineapple slice off top, slice down sides carefully and cut into chunks, that's what I do. Good luck!
 
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