Persevere...thats right felici...but sometimes I wonder how to do that.
None the less...I will.
Today has been better...yesterday was such a downer but yet it was motivation. I need all of that I can get. I,m reading my journals from when I lost the 150lbs. And trying to do the same again, maybe even better. But I realize that I was absolutly exersizing my buns off...some days I was doing 3 hours of cardio...plus sit ups push ups ect.And riding bikes with my hubby at night. Now I am having trouble with my energy and my feet! they hurt!
I havent drank much coffee today...yeah! I realize Ive been drinking like 5-10 cups and that is just sooo crazy. But I am getting a headach right now so I think I will have a cup and then hop on the cycle of doom.
I am not going to eat anything today...not that I plan on starving I just thought It might help my crave issues. It seems like as soon as I eat I get hungry...so today I am taking control of myself and tomorrow I will eat sensibly.
I said that I hadnt gained any weight...well that was an assumption. I stood on the scale last night and realized I was almost 20 pounds heavier than I had imaged myself. How does one not realize they are gaining so fast!
I have gained 85 pounds in 10 monthes...I made myself sit down and do the math...I cannot beleive it!

I am so mad at myself.I told myself it was from getting sick and taking meds...blood pressure and prednizone ect. but that was not true...I am getting fatter and fatter and I have got to stop!
anyway as sad as it sounds I am ok...because I beleive I am really going to do this now...and this time when its gone it will stay gone! I am doing this!!!!