While I think mostly I agree with the "suck it up" advice, I do think there can be an element of meanness in how a spouse goes about eating what he or she wants in this situation.
FG has said that not only does she make faces (rolling eyes, etc.) when *he* orders healthy, she then turns around and orders vast quantities of unhealthy food and ostentatiously enjoys it in front of him. Seems to me that there's a lot of passive-aggressive action going on here.
What does it matter what
she eats? He doesn't have to eat it and he knows that. He is just choosing to get upset by the fact that she's not eating healthy food, which has nothing to do with what's on
his plate.
If you exercise everyday and your spouse sat on the couch and watched TV while you were getting ready to hop on the treadmill, would you get mad at them for not encouraging or supporting you? No, so why do it with food?
Ideally he would eat what he wants to eat w/out having his wife making faces and rolling her eyes, and FG would accept that she has the right to order an entire menu of fattening food and it doesn't reflect on him. But when the two are combined, it makes it harder to ignore it or suck it up, I think.
Ideally, his wife should be able to eat what she wants without having her husband getting upset at her food choices too. It works both ways, which is why I think he needs to suck it up. And, to be fair, his wife needs to suck it up too.
Honestly I think the best thing to do would be to sit down and talk about it NOT WHILE YOU'RE EATING.
It's too hard to become accusatory while the food is right there in front of you. Don't accuse: "You always roll your eyes at me". Instead ask questions: "It seems to bother you when I order healthy foods when we eat out - why does it upset you?" And be honest about how you feel again w/out being accusatory - "It hurts me when you order really fattening foods and eat them in front of me. I would like you to be more supportive of my need to be healthy." Reassure her that you don't care what *she* eats - you're not trying to change her diet or make her feel bad about herself, you just would like her to not make you feel bad about your choices either.
I agree with that. Talk to her when food is not around. Discussing your problem over a meal would be like trying to convince an alcoholic that he shouldn't drink while you're sitting at a bar having a beer with them.
no, I don't care what she eats, yes I want to eat the same food and not gain weight, but that isn't the problem, the problem is, she goes OUT of her way to eat terribly in front of me, for instance, say last night I would have ordered lasagna, and hadn't been on a diet, etc..she would have probably just eaten what she normally gets, chick alfredo, we would have shared an appetizer, and that would have been that...she deliberately (and I know she did it deliberately, she's my wife) went out of her way to eat that much food to spite me...like "nana na nana na you can't have this" lol
Well, think of it this way...
Maybe she feels the same exact way about the food that
you order. Maybe she feels as if you are saying "I think you need to be eating better, LIKE ME", as if you're better than her. So, in retaliation, maybe she orders the shittiest foods she can think of just to get back at you, so to speak.
It just seems to me as if it's a cycle that you two go through in which you both feed off of eachother's actions and end up making things worse. So, I think you need to be the bigger man here and just deal with it. Talk with her about it and get it all out in the open. Tell her that you're sorry if you make her feel uncomfortable when you order healthy foods and make sure to explain
why you're ordering the healthy food. Let her know that you're not trying to send her some subconscious signal that she needs to eat healthier (which could be making her feel bad), rather, you are ordering the healthy choices because you know that
you need to lose weight - not her.
Then, let her know how it makes you feel when she orders all of that unhealthy food and eats it right in front of you. Let her know that you're not mad at her for doing so and that she can eat whatever she wants to eat, but let her know that when you see her eating pizza and burritos, it becomes really tempting and makes it harder to eat healthier - which you're concerned with, because you're afraid that it might get in the way of you trying to lose weight.
Waa Waa I know lol I am working on this. 
