Lisa's Final Countdown, The Good Days, the Bad, & the Ugly
- Thread starter douknowjello
- Start date
douknowjello
New member
So I'm back and just in time for weigh-in tomorrow to face the music...the joy of which is only rivaled at the moment by the fact I'll be able to post it to you all on HIspeed netzero Dial up :/. And when they say hispeed...well I'm not sure what they are comparing it to but I have internet access so that's the point, lol. They finally got the new pole up outside but the lines are still connected to the old one with the tree on it. I'll be so happy to get regular internet back up for sure...just not sure when that's gonna happen.
Kristi
Well-known member
YAY! Glad to have you back!! Sorry it'll be so slow for awhile, though. Missed you
douknowjello
New member
So...I do not know what I was thinking. I guess I'm trying to analyze this...I do know I felt like I could eat whatever because I didn't have to come face up to it here and had no way of logging the calories on fitday either. Then as the days without internet became weeks I just didn't let myself think about it....well as much as I could avoid it. I enjoyed eating the junk for maybe two days...then after that it was more that I just didn't have to worry about everything I put in my mouth or do the effort to plan ahead and work at it.
So funny I didn't think I'd have to face the music but thats not true...coming back to the forum I have to admit to myself while writing this. I was almost in tears thinking about it yesterday because of being so frustrated with myself. I know I'll restart and the 5lbs I gained I'll be able to lose again...and I'm lucky I didn't regain it all. But my problem is I need to stop this pattern. If I went months then did this once in a while maybe that'd be different but I barely get started and I'm off track almost immediately. Honestly if I'd imagined I'd be offline for more than a day or two I'd probably have taken steps to never let this get started. So in the event this ever does happen I need to get fitday offline or something similar or at least some calorie counting books.
So here's the breakdown of this month, including my two weeks off here.
Start Weight = 338
05 Sept= 332.8
12 Sept= 329.6
19 Sept= 331.6
26 Sept= 333.2
The silver lining though is the fact that I seem to be able to lose weight faster than I regain it for once. So I know I'm on the right track with what I was doing. I need to hit the grocery store and stock back up on healthy foods....gonna put some lean cuisines in there for when I'm in a pinch though.
So funny I didn't think I'd have to face the music but thats not true...coming back to the forum I have to admit to myself while writing this. I was almost in tears thinking about it yesterday because of being so frustrated with myself. I know I'll restart and the 5lbs I gained I'll be able to lose again...and I'm lucky I didn't regain it all. But my problem is I need to stop this pattern. If I went months then did this once in a while maybe that'd be different but I barely get started and I'm off track almost immediately. Honestly if I'd imagined I'd be offline for more than a day or two I'd probably have taken steps to never let this get started. So in the event this ever does happen I need to get fitday offline or something similar or at least some calorie counting books.
So here's the breakdown of this month, including my two weeks off here.
Start Weight = 338
05 Sept= 332.8
12 Sept= 329.6
19 Sept= 331.6
26 Sept= 333.2
The silver lining though is the fact that I seem to be able to lose weight faster than I regain it for once. So I know I'm on the right track with what I was doing. I need to hit the grocery store and stock back up on healthy foods....gonna put some lean cuisines in there for when I'm in a pinch though.
bmohearn
New member
Those 5 pounds will come off again in no time! Don't worry about it. I'm in the same position right now. I can still go on the internet...but I mean the food thing. I just stop caring sometimes. I do REALLY well during the day, and then come night time I pig out. (which is why Im glad I found a good hobby to keep my mind off of food) I know you read my journal, when reluctantcabbie shared is WW leader's advice. So remember.... why gain the weight back for a cookie (or other crap foods) if you wouldn't do it for a corvette???? It has kept me on track... if you keep saying that to yourself...maybe that will help you stay on track. As for an offline food tracker... take a notebook around with you. Write down EVERYTHING that you eat, and look at the back of the packaging for nutrition and stuff. If you don't know the nutrition (like for fresh fruits and veggies...) check online at school or something when you get a chance; and write that down in your book so you know next time.
Keep your chin up, we can do this together!
Keep your chin up, we can do this together!
thecabbie
New member
Stop right there and take a deep breath... you didn't regain it all
Sounds like an excellent suggestion. They have some nice pocket/purse sized ones down at Barnes&Noble. I bought one a while back that had some nice stats in the back for various foods, including some major fast foods.
Another good suggestion, stock up on good stuff so that when you're rushing, it's right there.
Lisa, a little tough love for ya here hon. Don't forget, I haven't had a cigarette in about 6 -7weeks now, and I'm losing weight too... If I can do it, you can!!!
Nobody knows backsliding like I do! I am the king of backsliding, procrastination, you name it. Hell, I had asthma and still couldn't convince myself to quit smoking! I am doing my damndest to hold myself accountable for everything now. Nobody else is going to do it for me.
Okay hon, big hug
, you can and will do this because you're worth it! I've (we've) got your back as much as we can here, 'cuz we luv ya and want you around to keep us on the right path too...douknowjello
New member
Funny how people who I've never met in real life can almost make me cry, but in a good way, lol. Course I met my hubby online so don't know why this still surprises me. Brandy, I'm not glad you're in the same boat but at the same time it feels better to know I'm not the only one. And Karl, you always seem to know what to say...so thank you Honestly I never thought I'd find so many awesome people in one place in this forum...still not used to the support I get here.
I'm also not used to having to face up to backsliding. On other failed attempts to lose weight I never thought about it too much, not consciously anyway. Just time would pass until I felt like making yet another attempt and I'd feel good while I was doing something about my weight. It's a new thing for me to have somewhere to own up to the mistakes and admit guilt when I majorly screw up on my diet. I'm glad I have somewhere with people who understand to do that. On the other hand everytime I screw up and don't have any long term success to show for my efforts I'm apprehensive that people are going to see me as just the never ending excuse girl and not want to waste their time.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had these thoughts for sure, or the only one who's struggled. But since it is a journal I thought it time I actually voiced some of this...maybe if I can figure out what's going through my head half the time I can get a handle on my health.
Anyway, I doubt I can ever really express how grateful I am for all the support I get from everyone here but thanks to all of you Please don't give up on me.
Honestly I never thought I'd find so many awesome people in one place in this forum...still not used to the support I get here. I'm also not used to having to face up to backsliding. On other failed attempts to lose weight I never thought about it too much, not consciously anyway. Just time would pass until I felt like making yet another attempt and I'd feel good while I was doing something about my weight. It's a new thing for me to have somewhere to own up to the mistakes and admit guilt when I majorly screw up on my diet. I'm glad I have somewhere with people who understand to do that. On the other hand everytime I screw up and don't have any long term success to show for my efforts I'm apprehensive that people are going to see me as just the never ending excuse girl and not want to waste their time.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had these thoughts for sure, or the only one who's struggled. But since it is a journal I thought it time I actually voiced some of this...maybe if I can figure out what's going through my head half the time I can get a handle on my health.
Anyway, I doubt I can ever really express how grateful I am for all the support I get from everyone here but thanks to all of you
Please don't give up on me.
thecabbie
New member
Nope, aint gonna!
Lisa, I have tried and failed more times than I can count on the smokes. Only once have I done it as long as this time. I think I got it.. but... I know me well enough to be scared I could screw up again. I'm 43, up until the market meltdown this year, I was on track to retire around 60 ish. Probably still will be when it turns around, I've done okay on my investments overall. It would be great if I was still alive to enjoy it! I hit the cigarettes again, I may not be...
Weight: In 2002 I did Atkins and went from 365 down to 278. When I fell off the wagon (pretty easy to do with low carb) I gained over 100 lbs over the next 5 years. How sick is that?????? I was almost there, damn it...
Do me a favor... Don't give up on me either! I'm being pretty consistent right now and haven't screwed up too bad...YET Trust me I have the capacity to be a monumental F%^& Up when I fall. I need it too.
bmohearn
New member
give up on you?!!! NEVER! We are all in this together. Dieting is HARD for us who love food. LOL. It's hard to learn confidence and comfort without turning to food. That's why I gained so much. In highschool I was an average weight. But I had issues with my self image and always saw myself as fat. Then I dated Dan, who made me feel better about myself, and I started trying all new foods with him. He never cares what I look like. In a very short amount of time I became addicted to food, and gained 60 pounds in 2 years. I've been trying to lose it sense, but my comfort for all emotions- happy, sad, angry- is food. Don't feel like the queen of excuses, I'm the same way. We can stop the backsliding process together. All of us here at WLF understand what it's like. I am, and always will be here when you need me for support or anything else. We all will be.
( sorry this is so damn long!)
( sorry this is so damn long!)
douknowjello
New member
So I came home today and there was a cable truck outside and a ladder on the side of my house So we got cable and internet back tonight instead of tomorrow, YAY. Then I just had to fight my wireless adapter that I had been installing the night the tree fell on the line, lol. Supposedly my connection is "very low" but I'm having no problems. So now I can get back to my happy posting self ....dial up was just too frustrating so I'd end up logging off after a few long loading screens.
Anyway today was my first somewhat attempt to watch my calories...although not so successful. My fridge is completely empty so after work and class tomorrow I'm going to try to stop at the store. I had slimfast for breakfast and was stuck on campus starving and hit the vending machine for a kitkat at noon. That's all I had all day and by the time I was able to get home for dinner I was starving and pigged out on Long John Silvers. My total cals for the day are 2030...which is between the 2000-2100 I had set as my goal but I know I could have done better on eating healthy food.
So we got cable and internet back tonight instead of tomorrow, YAY. Then I just had to fight my wireless adapter that I had been installing the night the tree fell on the line, lol. Supposedly my connection is "very low" but I'm having no problems. So now I can get back to my happy posting self ....dial up was just too frustrating so I'd end up logging off after a few long loading screens.Anyway today was my first somewhat attempt to watch my calories...although not so successful. My fridge is completely empty so after work and class tomorrow I'm going to try to stop at the store. I had slimfast for breakfast and was stuck on campus starving and hit the vending machine for a kitkat at noon. That's all I had all day and by the time I was able to get home for dinner I was starving and pigged out on Long John Silvers. My total cals for the day are 2030...which is between the 2000-2100 I had set as my goal but I know I could have done better on eating healthy food.
douknowjello
New member
Isn't that the scariest part? I lost 80lbs 7yrs ago and never thought I'd gain it back but I did. I seem to be able to stay on the wagon so long then I get sick of it and go back to my nasty eating habits....which the last month has proven to me is the problem. The pcos that was hindering me seems to be under control with the metformin and proof I can lose weight since I lost ten pounds in two weeks. Then the last two weeks I only gained 5...which I did the math for how much I was approximately over eating and it adds up pretty much....actually I should have gained more.
If I could figure out where the motivation comes from when I'm strong willed on the right track, and where this other crap comes from when I bail out I'd have this kicked. One thing like I said before though...I didn't realize how much accountability I was getting from this forum. I really do think I'm working through this somehow....anyway ty SO much for the support Karl. And no I won't give up on you either
Looking forward to the day we both are within short range of our goals and can do the happy dance.douknowjello
New member
No sorries! You could have typed more
I really appreciate you always sharing with me and being so supportive. Knowing there's other people, GOOD people, struggling with the same issues makes it easier for me to see this with a better perspective and handle it positively instead of self-destructively...if that makes any sense. When I allow myself to think about it I have so much guilt and this bad stigma associated with food and any time I'm not doing what I know I'm supposed to I feel like such a horrible person...like I have to wear a bag of shame or something. I know it's stupid but the feelings are there...programmed in I guess. Probably where the diet mentality comes from...if I'm on a strict diet...the harder it is the better I can feel about myself at the time, such a vicious stupid cycle. Anyway I know from this forum I'm not the only one who feels like this and it makes it easier. Thanks Brandy douknowjello
New member
3 posts in my own journal and I already hit yours while you were posting in mine...yep I'd say I'm back in full force, lol Too bad I'm going to have to go to work here shortly before I can catch up with everyone ;(.
minus86
New member
Hey there! Thanks for the encouragement in my journal. I may not know much right now, but I do know that I do not want to give up cuz I am so sick of being fat! You are so right, that we can do this together. We will be far more helpful to those that love us if we take care of ourselves now. Don't give up, whatever you do. Fight, fight, fight... cuz you are worth it! You deserve to be healthy.
Take care...
Take care...
txsqlchick
New member
So I came home today and there was a cable truck outside and a ladder on the side of my house
Anyway today was my first somewhat attempt to watch my calories...although not so successful. My fridge is completely empty so after work and class tomorrow I'm going to try to stop at the store. I had slimfast for breakfast and was stuck on campus starving and hit the vending machine for a kitkat at noon. That's all I had all day and by the time I was able to get home for dinner I was starving and pigged out on Long John Silvers. My total cals for the day are 2030...which is between the 2000-2100 I had set as my goal but I know I could have done better on eating healthy food.
Everyone has a pigout day every once in a while. I had one on Sunday...had a cheeseburger and fries! You'll be fine, just eat better tomorrow.
douknowjello
New member
Everyone has a pigout day every once in a while. I had one on Sunday...had a cheeseburger and fries! You'll be fine, just eat better tomorrow.
Yea I know but I've had a pigout day for the last two and a half weeks, lol. I SO need to get on track and get some good days under my belt.