Lena's diary

well i can't say i didn't try. but i guess i didn't try enough. so i'm gonna call today a high calorie day. i really ate more than necessary. the stupid thing is...i still feel hungry. ugh

i tried controlling myself by working and being on here at the same time. it worked then. but then i got home and had a big size plate of pasta with tomato sauce, 1 sandwich, 2 tangerines and some pop corn.

anyway tomorrow is a new day right?
 
true true :) my relationship got better when i realized i can be just as happy and succesful on my own in case any of us decides to leave. i will be heartbroken yes...but eventually will rise out a new me :D now that attitude was such a turn on for him, and gave me wings lol.

:hurray: Ey-oh! Fabulous! And you're right--I went through that kind of heartbreak and you're absolutely right--eh heh heh but it took me several months for the new me to rise out, though :eek:

i'm kinda in a bad mood today, mainly because of food. my 'eating episode' started possibly because i'm pms-ing.. yesterday afternoon i ate more than i planned. i was still under my maintenance level but still... it will last for a day or two, then it will pass...i hate these episodes when i just can't seem to feel full...i'm constantly hungry, even when i eat slow and stuff. 1 hour later i feel like i haven't had anything.

Been there, done that--the best thing you can do is acknowledge what happened and try to check yourself as soon as you're able--sometimes it just takes a period starting for you to get over the PMS appetite *shrugs* Best not to beat yourself up over it (no "pathetic" talk, OK??? :smash:) but also best to remain thoughtful about it, mindful I mean :)
 
Well you ladies have one up omne me, LOL...It took me YEARS:(...HA

Im sorry about your pmsing food issues, I hate that.I usually go through that for a week when Im ravenously hiungry and wanna eat everyhtign in site, which isnt liek me and im wondering what is going on, then i get that lovely surprize...
 
Tomorrow IS a new day and PMS time is hard, indeed--drink lots of green tea, if you can handle it--that helps!

i do have green tea with lemon :) will make some right now. its actually called zen tea lol
Well you ladies have one up omne me, LOL...It took me YEARS:(...HA

Im sorry about your pmsing food issues, I hate that.I usually go through that for a week when Im ravenously hiungry and wanna eat everyhtign in site, which isnt liek me and im wondering what is going on, then i get that lovely surprize...

lol i used to be the same...i think from now on i wanna prepare for these days. well i just hope this ends today and i don't have any cravings like this tomorrow. i just spent an hour talking to my girlfriends on phone. just to lift me up a bit. bless them :)

today will go to history as a 'food wasted day'... it happens to the best of them :D
 
so ladies and gentlemen its a new day :) overeating one day did not kill me...today is going to be better. and tomorrow even better

breakfast: 2 toast pieces rye with light cheese spread
snack: ham and cheese toast (didn't have anything else here) + nescafe
lunch: goulash (now this would be like stew with potatoes, but more of a soup then a stew)
snack: fruit
dinner: cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, turkey hot dogs

exercise:
i will try and do some exercises. after work i have to go downtown and buy some greeting cards, then i'm having coffee with a friend so i don't know when i'll go home. we'll see :)

today i am at work and some of my colleagues are incredibly dumb. not stupid, just plain dumb. one of them has to do a list of addresses (about dozen people) in a word table. confusion, panic, omg i will not make it in time. deadline: monday
hahahaha omg what the fuck????????????

fine i told her i'll help...just because i'm a nice person :) the crisis is over. i'm almost done.

i tell ya some people do make me crazy at work. but there are some i actually like :D, and one of them is D. now this girl is head of faculty's library, very much into databases, books, research and stuff which i really like, and is in so many ways similar to me. every morning we go together to work and have very serious stress release talks regardnig our work frustrations, bf/husband frustrations, colleagues frustrations.

this morning we were talking about keeping in touch with people we know...and how there are people who get upset, or even offended when they don't hear from someone, especially if you moved away. people left behind wanna feel like they are still part of your life i guess. i do understand that.

anyway, we were talking about this and i was thinking about my friends and i realized i almost always choose people to hang out with and to be my friends who understand that sometimes i don't call...not because i don't love them. i just don't call. and they don't have to look for me and call. and we still love each other...even if i haven't seen some of them for months, even years.
D., who moved to my town from opposite side of Croatia said some of her friends were and are still offended if she doesn't call.

i guess some people need more of physical proof of friendship (i don't know how else to call it) where they want a tangible thing, like phone calls, coffees, lunches, dinners etc etc.

i had a situation last year that one of the girls from the gym whom i never had coffee with got really upset when i came from budapest for a week and didn't bother to call her. hahaha yea like i ever spoke with her after that incident. no thank you.

I do need contact don't get me wrong... i love talking to my friends...but i also understand that if they don't call its not because they don't love me. its just that they're in a different frame at the moment. it makes catching up more fun lol

when i was in budapest i wouldn't talk to my best friends for a month even. and they were cool with that. because they knew i'm ok...as tina (one of my best friends) says...i would be concerned if you called all the time. lol

its funny how people are different in such basic things as relationships and friendships. no wonder there are sometimes problems in communication.
 
Great attitude! :hurray: I'm glad you have a funky fresh outlook on your Hungry Day--I'm doing aiight with mine, too!

Nice that you have a great coworker despite the dummies.

I make a point to call! :smash: But I don't get mad if someone doesn't--not even my ex long term fuck buddy! But of course, him not calling is part of the reason I ain't sleeping over--that and getting a new, better one! HA! have a great day! I'm gonna explore the fetish questions you brought up on the forum and hopefully get back to you.........
 
and another good news :D i just came home, had a large bowl of goulash and now some tangerines. and i looked at scale and said oh well why not...

so with my stomach full, pms-ing, clothes on i weighed 227 lbs :D so yaaay last time i weighed i was 231 (about 2 weeks ago).

yaaaaaaaaaaay i'm 4 pounds down. even with overeating yesterday. happy happy me :D:D:D
 
thank you thank you thank you :D:D:D

well the 4 lbs loss was definitely the right push for me. i spent the weekend eating very healthy. i didn't exercise, but will tomorrow. speaking of exercise, i wanted to download some exercises from the site i was mentioning...but since i'm from croatia i can't. fortunately i have steve's exercises :)

the weekend in general was very nice and relaxing. i spent friday evening having coffee with a friend, buying greetings to send to dear people, walking :) it was very cool. yesterday i went to the town's market to find some good fresh fish, but i guess because of the bad weather lately didn't find anything i liked. ah well...at least i bought some fresh lettuce and stuff :) and again went for a walk in the sun. which was a very smart thing to do because in the afternoon the sky went black..and again the boring rain and wind. its still raining :sigh:

today i played games lol with my little niece :D she's 19months old and all she wants to do is run around, scream and make any loud noise there is hehe. had lot of fun :D

now i'm relaxing, having some tea, catching up a bit and then off to bed...and another week here i come...would look forward to it more if there was sun lol
 
rain and rain and more rain...now it became windy as well. now i usually don't mind the rain.

BUT THIS IS GETTING A BIT BOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!!!


i'm actually thinking about buying those rubber rain boots...with flowers on 'em.
also boredom sucks. boredom is not good for weight loss. boredom makes me eat. and i can't go to the gym because i'm low on money

SUN PLEASE!!!!!! :willy_nilly:

anyway i'm good with food for the past few days. not craving anything too badly. later will do some kick ass workout including some cardio, steve's exercises and some yoga :D

did i mention i started a war with my inside hater? well i did. managed to kidnap it, silence it and am now holding it hostage until i brainwash it. keep your fingers crossed it doesn't escape :reddevil:
 
Your inside hater? Is that the little voice that tries to tell you all the negative things about yourself? Gotta give that one the death penalty... Then it can't escape.
 
I can't imagine a more relaxing Sunday, wow! Well, mine was pretty relaxing albeit the HYDROPLANING on HWY 17, the HWY of death! :ack2: I'm used to mountain driving, though!

You inner hater will soon learn to love and respect you so you don't have to silence her--eventually she'll start to support you :beating:
 
Your inside hater? Is that the little voice that tries to tell you all the negative things about yourself? Gotta give that one the death penalty... Then it can't escape.

yep that's the one. bastard :smash: i think it has a twin because it took on revenge today :cuss:

didn't eat so good today...not too bad but still bleh
but am moving on from that:auto:

tomorrow i will do better. i have this dinner tomorrow night...which i'm a bit scared lol...you know Christmas thingies. well i do know that menu is going to be mostly meat and fries. i must try and control myself.

anyway today was one busy day at work. first i had to fill in for dean's secretary because she had to put her mother in a wellness center. whatever.makes me be behind my schedule a lot. but i'm still not panicking. i will on thursday though if i don't finish these proposals. the deadline is friday...how nice.

i can't wait for after Christmas to go and see bf :) i really need to relax and feel pampered a bit :)
speaking of Christmas...is it just me or the spirit is not really there this year.i mean everything is decorated and all..it looks very nice and stuff...but i don't really feel it this year. i was never a present person for Christmas. i love sending cards, and i love decorating the tree and the Christmas lunch and stuff...but its just different this year. don't know why.
 
I can't imagine a more relaxing Sunday, wow! Well, mine was pretty relaxing albeit the HYDROPLANING on HWY 17, the HWY of death! :ack2: I'm used to mountain driving, though!

You inner hater will soon learn to love and respect you so you don't have to silence her--eventually she'll start to support you :beating:

aww that's sweet _) thanx Val. i do hope me and my inner hater eventually make peace. i hate conflicts lol

it was that bad on the road????...glad you made it home safely girl...

how was peezey out? any hot dancefloor scenes?
 
Don't let your inner voice throw you off balance, Lena!!! :smash: You're too intelligent to let that happen! Concentrate on pampering yourself! :grouphug:

Yup, I'm not feeling Xmas too much either, and I like it--it's not all in my face and annoying this year, and I'm stoked and thrilled to be seeing my family for my 4 day weekend, YAY! :party:

Dance floor = hot :D
 
you're right. i am intelligent enough.

pampering myself? well the truth is..i want an Ipod. however its waaaay too expensive for me. i still want it... maybe i should give it to me as a reward one day...for 30lbs loss for example...
so no pampering with things. i wihs i can be pampered with sex heheh. patience.....that too shall come
 
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