kizzie's weight lost journey

hey nia,
thank you for all of the support. i will take you advice and focus on the future. i am glad i came here today and posted even though i am not having the best day. i know now that i am not alone and i am not strang to feel this way. thanks a bunch. you are a super cool person:)
peace
 
hi diary,
i am still here and active. today is christmas and i has completly blown the day. i just cant seem to keep a healthy lifestyle going. i feel so bad about this constant cycle. well here is what i ate today. sugar cookies, cake w/ icing, meatballs w/gravy, corn and brown rice. i am out of control. when the urge comes on i just eat until i am full. mind you full for me is basically in pain in my stomach. after which it is painful for me to move. i just abuse my self over and over. i has a talk with my husband the other night. i came to the conclusion that i have very low self esteem. i thought that by having things such as family, job etc.. that that some how makes you who you are. i have found that to not be true at all. you have the feeling for several minutes and then it is gone. i have this now what feeling. my husband told me to think of three things you like about yourself. you know what, i had trouble thinking of three things that i like about my self. that is a shame. if i were looking at this on tv i would slap myself and say what are you thinking.i am tired of this pitty party that is not ending. i continue it i think out of habit and then i get my pay off and it starts all over again. this is becoming too much. i see why obesity is a disease. it disables me everyday. well i will think about this mental status of minds for a moment and i may come back here latter.
peace
 
hi diary,
today has been pretty good. i am working to increase my self esteem and let others in my life to lighten this load of stress that has long held be down. i am not mentally strong today. i am spiritally strong, which is better. i called on my God and he has place help right in the mist of my life. i am working to focus on that. well later.
 
hey hillbill,
thank you so much for stopping by!! i love this place. even when you are not at your best you are not alone. i still have hope, and more so since you stopped by.
Yeah hill, let's hang in there. If we keep going we won't lose.
peace
 
pretty you are going to do this just focus and we will help as much as possible! You are from the SHOW ME STATE I know you can do this! I was born and raised there until I was 15 and ended up here in KY! So come on girl SHOW ME what your made of and what YOU CAN DO!
 
hey red,
thanks for stopping by. you right girl it is definatley time for me to get more serious about this lifestyle change. i have a history of starting and stopping, but i am going to try this again. a couple of weeks ago i went to whole week eating healthy and going to the gym. you know i really love the way i feel after i work out. it is the bomb. my goal for 206-2007 is to do at least 50 minutes of cardio and weigtlight 3times a week. several weeks ago when i made it the whole week it was only when i joined this forum and had to be accountable for what i was doing. when people stop and read my diary i know that i must produce. i am going to keep my head up. no weight came off today, but i am not going to give up on myself.
later
 
Hey pretty just thought I'd pop in and check on ya. I hope the diet is feeling a little more normal. It's strange it's hard then all of a sudden it will just be the new way you eat....
 
hey hillbill,
thanks for dropping in. you must have read my mind. i just left your diary. i havent lost any more, but i am feeling better about myself. well that day is not over so there is more for me to do.
later bill babe;)
 
hey diary,
its me and i'm back. i made it to the gym today. whoaaaa!! yeah babe and i did 50 minutes of cardio. no weights yet. i am feeling real good right now.:p i ate pretty good today to. Back to the salt mine tomorrow. i am ready though. looking forward to hearing what everyones' holiday was like. well i plan to visit every day this week and record my progress even if i dont make my goal.
later
 
Hey hunny! You seem to have a great attitude about everything... keep it up, cuz like ya said, even on your worst days, theres someone to commiserate with here. We've all been there, know what its like, and are here to stick together. Keep going to the gym to- I'm procrastinating real bad right now(shoulda been at the gym an hour ago, whoops!) but I agree with what you said a few posts ago- I feel fantabulous when I work out- its the GOING thats a problem, lol. Keep your chin up, and keep checkin in- our goals are realistic, and the only thing stopping us from getting there is our ability to be sidetracked. :D We just need to turn that into an IN-ability!
 
oh yo gal! i like yr avatar! pretty!

i had a good holiday in malaysia! Good food and nice year end sale! And i watched Ben Stiller's Nite at the Museum over there. Needless to say, i put on weight but well.... it'll be gone in a few weeks! YAY!

Hv a great day!
 
Hey Pretty,

I haven't been here for a while so sorry for not supporting you through the rough days, but I can see you are doing great now, getting to the gym and all. Its a struggle this diet thing, but is good to see you are hanging in there... It gets easier, like hill said, after a while it all just come natural.
So congrats on the fine job so far.
Have a nice day:)
 
hi all,
Thank you so much for stopping by.Man not a good day for me. i am still going to hang in there. the words you guys wrote mean so much right now. i know someone understand me here.
 
hi diary,
today was a great day!. me and the kids went to mcdonals. they has an in house playground. they loved it. i have a cold and my appitie was not good do i did not eat any burgers or fries. they kids and i then went shopping at walmart then came home. i then went to the gym and worked out for 30 minutes. when i returned home today i ate a few grapes and a whey protein shake. me and my hubby are chillin watching a great eddie murphy movie "coming to America".:p well later.
 
hi diary,
Just checking in for a vent session. today i had a great day. it was simple.But the sun was shining and the skies here were clear. i meet a lady today and we had the most wonderful conversation about God, children and motherhood. it was soo great!. she was a stay at home mom, like i use to be. We talked about our joys and fustrations with being a stay at home mother.Well it did not get to the gym today.
my hubby is on edge right now, like he is always and needs to .. you know. Such a baby man that man of mines:eek: .
i went to a revival yesterday. the day was a little stressful because i wrestled with the kids all service long. it is soooo important to do things for yourself so that you feel better about yourself. i will say that to other, but fail to impliment it in my life.
although i don't deserve it God has given me another day to get on track. he is a forgiving God. I love my theme for life now and i will still stick with it. Even if i am not perfect. My best day starts right now!!:p :D
 
Hey Pretty,

Good to see you have someone to turn to beinng your god or husband:) So good to se your spirit is lifted, and even though you don't get to the gym every singel day going there as much as you can makes a difference. Have a nice weekend:)
 
Hi diary,
I am feeling great today. i have not been to the gym though:eek: . We had a great service at church today. Also i attended a meeting that was really positive and productive:) . We did go to a buffet today for dinner. I ate freely but small portions.:confused: lol.. Today i also went and bought more soy protien shake.. the chocolate is yummy:p . Just one glass mixed with water reduces my appeitie and keeps me from grabbing something i will regret later. Lets just hope my hubby doesn't see the bill:rolleyes: . well i am going to watch the telly, take my vit. and go to sleep.
peace:cool:
 
Hi diary,
Well no work for me today. i am sooo glad. i can catch up with some neglected house chores and spend some time with my kids. i usually don't post my breakfast , lunch and dinner. but today i had my soy protein drink and a cup of coffee. i did get the bathroom clean last night. so yahhh for me! later we are suppose to go to walmart. i will buy some veggies and meat for the week. i did try another protien drink, but i did not like it. i get mines form GNC. :D . well i will take my time today. that is my committment for today. i will stay focused and not beat myself up. i will probly be back here later today to reports how i am doing.
peace
 
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