Jay

I'm very grateful that I don't get migraines. They sound horrible & I know how much G suffered when he used to get them. When you feel the next one coming on try drinking the juice of one lemon (straight). It used to work for him. We doubted it would work, but it did.
I only drink black coffee in the morning. I made myself get used to it about 25 years ago & I love it.
Are the sandwiches during your work break? Is there a limited choice?
They're awful!! It felt like my head was filled with marbles and every time my neck moved, the marbles shook behind my eye balls and gave me pain.
I tried black coffee this morning - it was wonderful!
The sandwiches are only turkey or tuna salad, but they offer a variety of other foods. It's just difficult to measure foods, and they can range from a salad to fried food, so it's hard to meal plan at the beginning of the day. There isn't a preset menu, either.
Eating boring food when you enjoy variety (not everyone does, apparently) can put you at risk of binging but if that's not how your brain works there's nothing wrong with having the same 2 sandwiches for every lunch. Maybe you could add some veggies from home for variety? I'm not a coffee drinker but 240 calories for a drink sounds like a lot unless it's a satisfying snack.
That's true. I'll test this and see what kind of eater I am. I think I do like variety, but I also like eating the same foods IF I actually enjoy them. Sandwiches are not my favorite food.
 
October 26, 2022

Hello friends!

My depression is on its end. I'm looking forward to a bit of stability.

I exercised this morning for the first time in a while - 30 minutes of light/moderate cardio, and boy, I feel really good. Getting my heart pumping felt really great and it woke me up. It' s like if I start the day right, the rest of the day goes well. Who knew?

I think I am going to up my calories back to 1930, and focus on implementing a 30 minute working in the morning. I don't want to do too many things at once or else I'm going to bounce back faster than a bowling ball on a rubber band!

Breakfast:
- Black coffee: 0 calories

Lunch:
- Tuna salad sandwich: 300 calories
- Fruits: 50 calories

Reflection:
- 2:28PM: late post! was running late to work. So far, my appetite has been well. I decided to skip out on breakfast and instead have some black coffee. I was running out of time since I did a 30 minute workout, and I really didn't want to eat at McDonalds, so I just skipped it. Turns out, this may be a thing for me. I heard that black coffee is an appetite suppressant and I need the caffeine in the morning anyway. I'm thinking this is basically intermittent fasting. I'm thinking if I only eat from 1pm until 9pm (8 hours), I will be fasting for about 16 hours. I heard this does wonders for weight loss! Let's see what happens.
 
Your migraines sound horrendous! Well done on exercising in the morning & trying black coffee & liking it. If you can do IF I think there are lots of benefits, especially combined with a healthy, nutritious "diet". I wish I could, but it plays havoc with my blood pressure & I have been told by my cardio & GP not to.
 
Glad to hear you're on the upswing again: depression sucks. I hate fasting but if you feel good doing it it can definitely help you eat fewer calories.
 
Your migraines sound horrendous! Well done on exercising in the morning & trying black coffee & liking it. If you can do IF I think there are lots of benefits, especially combined with a healthy, nutritious "diet". I wish I could, but it plays havoc with my blood pressure & I have been told by my cardio & GP not to.
Yes I'm doing black coffee again this morning. It's actually quite nice! I don't feel like I'm crashing as often.
Glad to hear you're on the upswing again: depression sucks. I hate fasting but if you feel good doing it it can definitely help you eat fewer calories.
Thank you! Depression is strange in that you get sucked in such a dark black hole, it feels permanent. You forget that it doesn't last forever.
 
October 27, 2022

Good morning everyone! I'm feeling slightly better (probably because my partner is back from California). This black coffee thing in the morning is amazing. I don't have an appetite and I don't feel so tired midday. Turns out I can save quite a few calories in the morning and move it to the evening time, where I can enjoy a hearty dinner.

I've been enjoying eating my doenjang-jjigae soups! Turns out it can be quite healthy. I'm trying to decrease the sodium content so my blood pressure isn't so high and I'm not bloated.

Breakfast:
- black coffee: 0 calories
- total: 0 calories

Lunch:
- Dominos pizza 3 slices medium (there was a pizza party!): 600 calories
- total: 600 calories

Dinner:
- more homemade soup: 1000 calories

Total: 1600 calories
Limit: 1930 calories

Reflection:
- 2:00PM: I measured my soup for dinner. An entire pot is about 4000 calories. I can eat about one bowl every evening, and it will take me about 4 days to finish the whole thing. So that would be 1000 calories. The soup does keep me quite full so I'm not sure if I'll be able to eat more. I do know that soup is very good for weight loss, so I will continue and see where this goes!
 
Hi, Jay. It's great that having black coffee & IF is working well for you. Yay for your partner being home again! I try not to let on how much I miss G when he's away.

I looked this up & it looks & sounds delicious! Is this recipe close to yours? https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/doenjang-jjigae
Haha yes, very similar! The thing about soups is you can also customize it however you want. For mine personally, I added egg plant, green and purple cabbage, golden and red potatoes, onions, garlic, green onion, long beans, bean sprouts, fish ball, tofu, pork belly, low sodium spam, rice cakes, rice, and a serving of noodles. Yum yum! I had to also weigh and measure everything because soups can get crazy if you don't watch the portions!
 
That sounds like one delicious soup! So nice to have food you can come home to, heat uo, and enjoy without fuss.
 
October 28, 2022
222.6 lbs today. Slow but steadily going down.


I was in a weird funk last night. It was a hyperactive feeling that was paired with being irritable, depressed, self-loathing. It was the strangest feeling. Like mania and depression at the same time.

That being said, I didn't bomb my diet (hurray). Instead of soup, my partner wanted to go out to eat. I had half a serving of french fries, half an aloha burger. I didn't eat anything for the rest of the night. I'm really proud of myself for stopping from eating, and not eating after 8pm.

Breakfast:
- Black coffee: 0 calories

Lunch:
- Tuna sandwich: 300 calories
- Fruits: 50 calories

Dinner:
- Soup: 1000 calories

Total: 1350 calories
Limit: 1930 calories

Reflection:
- 11:05AM: Hmm... I think I'm definitely not eating as much today. I will try to up my calories by a tiny bit today. I want to aim for 1600 calories. 1350 is not a lot at all. I'll supplement it with a cup of rice or I'll have some chips to go with my soup.
 
Well done on showing restraint when in a funk. I really hate those mixed-up feelings when you feel all over the place.
 
October 31, 2022
222.4 lbs today.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERY BODY! I'm going to celebrate by saying YES to candy. One or two pieces today to enjoy that holiday sweet tooth of mine, then back to saying no to sugar.

I'm really happy and appreciative of having this platform to verbalize my thoughts and feelings. It feels nice to have an outlet to anchor myself down. Thank you everyone.

Breakfast:
- black coffee: 0 calories
- Total: 0 calories

Lunch:
- Roast beef sandwich: 300 calories
- twix fun size: 80 calories
- M&M peanut fun size: 90 calories
- Lays chips: 80 calories
- Total: 550 calories

Dinner:
- Filipino Spaghetti: 1200 calories

Total: 1750 calories
Limit: 1930 calories

Reflection:
- 1:29PM: Life feels good today. I'm riding on a high. I'm so ready for that spaghetti later. yum yum!
 
I'm really happy and appreciative of having this platform to verbalize my thoughts and feelings. It feels nice to have an outlet to anchor myself down. Thank you everyone.
That’s really a lovely thing to hear, Jay. Happy 🎃 to you, too!
 
November 1, 2022

I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween! Mine was very uneventful. The spaghetti last night ended up being a slight bust. I put egg plants and purple cabbage in the sauce to make it taste more earthy and add more nutrients, but I think I may have burned the vegetables, so the sauce tasted quite smoky, and not the good kind.

On top of that, I got like 2 lbs heavier! I'm sure it's just the carbohydrates (don't you love carb-loading days?). I'm going to use all these stored carbs to workout extra hard today.

Breakfast:
- black coffee: 0 calories
- Total: 0 calories

Lunch:
- Turkey sandwich: 300 calories
- Fruits: 50 calories
- McCafe Baked Apple Pie: 250 calories
- Lays chips: 160 calories
- Total: 760 calories

Dinner:
- 1 slice extra large cheese pizza: 400 calories
- Caesar salad: 500 calories
- Total: 900 calories

Total: 1660 calories
Limit: 1930 calories

Reflection:
- 4:33PM: Today was such a busy day! Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts....
 
Halloween has never been a thing in Australia. I think it is becoming a thing with some people with young kids & more so in cities. I'll try the happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts mantra.....Sometimes you really need to make that effort to switch your thinking around.
 
I hope it was fun busy and the happy thoughts are already there.
It was! :)
Halloween has never been a thing in Australia. I think it is becoming a thing with some people with young kids & more so in cities. I'll try the happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts mantra.....Sometimes you really need to make that effort to switch your thinking around.
It works! I also repeat to myself whenever I get super anxious: "You are OK. You are safe. You are loved." over and over again while holding a hand above my heart. It helps calm me down.
 
November 7, 2022
Weight: 221.6 lbs


Hello everyone! Long time, no see. I swear I didn't de-rail myself back to old habits. As evidenced by my weight lost, I've hit an all-time low (at least in recent history). I'm edging closer and closer to being under 220s! The black coffee in the morning is really helping, along with eating a big meal only once a day and something light during dinner time.

I also did a before and after picture, a month apart, and measured myself, and I've lost about 2 inches everywhere and my body looks very different. Total loss is about 4 lbs, which doesn't seem like a lot of the span of one month, but it's a lot to me, especially since it's been so consistent!

Also something I'm learning - I've always been told to eat small things throughout the day, or only have a LITTLE bit of junk food instead of the whole thing. My thing is, think of the food as drugs that someone is addicted to. I, clearly, have an eating disorder and have an addiction to eating. It would be like saying to a drug-addict, "Hey, instead of taking the whole drug, why not just take a small portion of it?" This isn't how addiction management works. Cold turkey is the best way to combat this, and that's exactly what I'm doing. Of course, everyone is different, but that's the philosophy that seems to work for me.

Breakfast:
- black coffee: 0 calories
- Total: 0 calories

Lunch:
- turkey sandwich: 300 calories
- Fruits: 50 calories
- Total: 350 calories

Dinner:
- Bowl of Rice: 400 calories
- green beans with fish cake: 300 calories
- Fried tofu: 200 calories
- Two eggs: 160 calories
- 1 tbsp Oil for frying: 160 calories
- Two servings Spam: 350 calories
- Total: 1570 calories (highly unlikely to eat all of these calories, but I'm allowing myself to eat this much if I desire)

Total: 1920 calories
Limit: 1930 calories

Reflection:
- 12:31PM: I feel confident in myself, especially since I'm actually seeing results. I'm proud of myself for doing this. I am proud that I love myself enough to do this.
 
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